in my head
gosh. I don't know. I don't like to tell people about my love life, if I ever even have one. like, I don't like to tell people who i'm into, the story, or how it goes, but I don't really want to hold it in, I'm so confused man, lol like, this sucks. I really like this guy, and like madd other dudes try hanging out with me, and I dont want to because, like, I don't know, I don't want to lead them on, or them go in for a kiss and me back away, and feel bad, just incase their is somthing good going on between me and the guy I really like, but that's the thing, hahaha, I HAVE NO IDEA. I mean, we kiss and stuff, and hangout or what not, but I dont know if hes interested like that, like, I don't know if he wants a girlfriend, or if he thinks i'm too young? or if like, he doesn't really like me, or he wants to just chill for awhile, get a feel of me more? OR something? SEE I have no idea. haha, I don't know. I feel like, i'm getting worked up over nothing, but I hate to be left hanging, and I don't want him to know, because I dont want in anyway for him to feel obligated to be with me, or kiss me, or whatever, Like I know hes been hurt before, but I don't want to hurt him, I just want to be with someone who makes me happy., Its just, he makes me smile, and laugh, and hes so retarded to the point that I cant stop smiling, hes so goofy, its like, i don't know, like, i'm smiling now thinking about how much of a dork he is, I don't know. maybe I should let it go, I'm the one who usually gets hurt here, and I really dont want to deal with that right now, I just wish I knew, straight up how he felt, and I wish that we talked about this, because I wont get mad, and some part of me, wishes that he will read this, and the other doesnt. at all.
I just want to know if I should let this go, because I want a relationship, but I dont want to settle for anything less then I want, and I just want to know. gahh hahahahahahahaha, I dont knowwwww, I'm going to go soak in a hott bath, and drink some coffee.
oh.
last night I went out to this jap resturant for kits birthday, it was awesome I got to see kit and angel for the first time in awhileee, haha angel took lots of pictures, they're funny as crap, the guy who cooks the food in front of you was funny as hell, hahahahaha, There is no point in even explaining, because I don't know where to start, haha.<3
then I want to the IRISH house.
parties there are always amazing, and I was once again, completely smashed, talking out of my ass with all of my good ass friends, haha 4am mcdonald runs, drunk as shit, is my favorite. I love all my homies. and the card games that make you vomit and then drink more, lol, mmmmm I found a new love, 100 proof jeremiah weed bourbon whiskey<3
I just want to know if I should let this go, because I want a relationship, but I dont want to settle for anything less then I want, and I just want to know. gahh hahahahahahahaha, I dont knowwwww, I'm going to go soak in a hott bath, and drink some coffee.
oh.
last night I went out to this jap resturant for kits birthday, it was awesome I got to see kit and angel for the first time in awhileee, haha angel took lots of pictures, they're funny as crap, the guy who cooks the food in front of you was funny as hell, hahahahaha, There is no point in even explaining, because I don't know where to start, haha.<3
then I want to the IRISH house.
parties there are always amazing, and I was once again, completely smashed, talking out of my ass with all of my good ass friends, haha 4am mcdonald runs, drunk as shit, is my favorite. I love all my homies. and the card games that make you vomit and then drink more, lol, mmmmm I found a new love, 100 proof jeremiah weed bourbon whiskey<3