LOG: Amends
Mr. Kovacs
Mr. Kovacs steps up to Mr. Dreiberg's classroom door during the prep hour before classes start, a cup of hot, steaming coffee in each hand.
Deja vu hits him hard as he stacks the foam cups and knocks on the door, this meagre attempt at making amends none too different from those attempts he has made in this past.
Mr. Dreiberg
Daniel has a fair idea of who it is. He's not mad. He has just been waiting for Kovacs to come to him; he's starting to get used to the steps in this dance.
He pulls open the door, a warm smile waiting. "Hey, you."
Mr. Kovacs
"Morning, Daniel," he says, standing in the door, somewhat surprised to be gifted with that winning smile of Dan's. "Brought you some coffee." He unstacks the coffees again, handing one over. "May I come in?"
Mr. Dreiberg
Daniel rests a hand on Kovacs wrist as he takes his cup from the man. He gives it a squeeze. He doesn't want this to be hard for his friend, Dan's not into playing the 'You-hurt-me-I-withhold-love-from-you game. "You're more than welcome. We could go for a walk through the courtyard or just talk in here. Anything's fine."
Mr. Kovacs
Kovacs swallows, shifting restlessly under Dan's affection. He smirks a bit at the suggestion. He's been preempted.
"Walk would be fine," he says, deciding that it will at least break the silence that is certain to ensue as he works up the nerve to say what he needs to.
Mr. Dreiberg
Daniel shuts off the lights in his room and locks the door. He lets Kovacs lead them as they walk.
Mr. Kovacs
Kovacs sips his coffee as they make their way outside, not saying much until they're outside, lost in his own thoughts. He has had some time to think since their date-cum-fight last weekend and, though he's not quite certain what it is that he really wants, he knows what he needs to say.
"Last weekend," he finally ventures once they're far enough away from the school and anyone within hearing distance, "was a mistake."
Mr. Dreiberg
Daniel nods. He's not exactly sure where Kovacs is going, but either way, he's prepared himself for the best and the worst. He finally takes a sip of his coffee, hints of sugar in the brew.
Mr. Kovacs
Kovacs chances a glance over at the other man, then looks forward to the path that they're walking on. "Pushed myself into something I knew I wasn't comfortable with for sake of propriety. Should never have... Invited you out."
He is usually so calculated. He usually thinks about all the different possibilities and potentialities when forming tactics and plans, preparing for every eventuality. This time, instead, he dove in without thinking (or at least without thinking enough) like he often does in the heat of the moment when he's roaming the city's dark, filthy streets. And Dan's choice of diner was like an uppercut that left him winded and blinking black blots from his eyes.
Mr. Dreiberg
Daniel leans against a tree, one hand in his pocket. "Sometimes we have to push our boundaries to figure out what we're not comfortable with." He watches Kovacs, never being able to help but want him. "I'm glad you did, even if it didn't go how we wanted."
Mr. Kovacs
Kovacs slowly pivots, turning his step as Dan stops so that he can face him. He practically mirrors Dan's posture with a hand in his pocket, a slight slouch to his posture, as he regards the other. "Would have been favorable if it hadn't ended so disastrously. Didn't mean to leave you on such a... Pensive note. Just needed time to think about things. Alone."
Mr. Dreiberg
Dan feels really strange hearing the words, a laugh niggling him but he forces himself to stay calm. He has no idea what's gotten in to him, but the thought of this man being so broody for some reason makes him love him more and the joy of being so infatuated makes him a little giddy. Despite what happened, he came away with a lighter feeling. He knows it will pass and they'll work it out eventually.
"Everyone needs space. I get that you need a bit more than others and that I can be pretty invasive." Dan swallows and mentally smacks himself for thinking of pushing the ginger man against the tree and showing him just how invasive he can be.
Mr. Kovacs
Kovacs takes his hand from his pocket and scratches at the back of his neck. He feels the urge to remind Dan that this isn't something he's used to or that he knows how to do. But Dan already knows that and he's said it many times.
"Yes," he agrees instead. "Need a lot of space."
Mr. Dreiberg
Dan keeps telling himself not to feel guilty about the venue he'd picked out for them. He thought being somewhere they wouldn't be targeted for being two men holding hands was the right option. Would it have been easier if they'd gone somewhere he couldn't touch him?
Dan sighs. "What are we gonna do, Walter?"
Mr. Kovacs
"Still... Want to continue?" he asks though he's pretty certain that he already knows the answer.
Mr. Dreiberg
Mr. Dreiberg takes a long look around the yard, into the high up windows, searching for prying eyes. Upon seeing none, he stroked Kovacs hand. "Always."
Mr. Kovacs
Kovacs follows Dan's eyes around, looks as well, and isn't surprised when Dan reaches out to touch him. His jaw clenches and he tries to remind himself that this is okay.
But what goes on in his private life is private and his reputation matters, particularly here. So he holds Dan's gaze and carefully takes his hand away, nodding lightly as sets a small boundary and observes Dan's reaction to it.
Mr. Dreiberg
Dan nods back, knowing his error but enjoying the slight button push anyway.
Mr. Kovacs
"Wouldn't you rather be with someone that you could be together with in public? Someone... Easier?" he asks, this small doubt getting the best of him.
Mr. Dreiberg
Dan feels a little irritated by this question, but knows it's not because of Kovacs, it's other people's little boxes. "What's the fun in life being easy?" He smiles.
He worries a little that Kovacs will take his meaning wrong and quickly says, "Not that you're hard. I mean, you're wonderful! I like you for you. I don't want to be with someone for the sake of convenience."
Mr. Kovacs
Walter swallows and nods slowly, taking another drink of his coffee to wet his palette. "Well, can certainly promise you plenty of inconvenience," he says with a snarky smirk, a shot at his own expense.
"Would like to continue as well," he finally says, more quietly than before. "Perhaps less publicly...?"
Mr. Dreiberg
Daniel has thought about this. He's tested the waters of how public they can be. Kovacs is closeted, maybe too harsh a term, but the best he can pin on the situation. He doesn't want to put the truth in people's faces and show them it's okay to be who you are. He nods. Another secret to keep. That's okay, he's got plenty already.
"I think I'm going to let you call the shots for a little while, if that's alright?"
Mr. Kovacs
If Dan has never seen Kovacs look relieved, he has now. The set of his shoulders seems to slouch a little bit and his expression opens, giving Dan what may be a look of gratitude. "Yes. That's fine."
Off in the distance, the early bell rings, and Kovacs checks his watch. "Class starts in 10 minutes."
Mr. Dreiberg
Daniel smiles, looking right into Kovacs eyes. He turns to leave, waiting for Kovacs to follow. "Another day, another dollar, huh?"
Mr. Kovacs
Kovacs gives Dan an inquisitive look, but doesn't ask, as they walk back into the school together.
Mr. Kovacs steps up to Mr. Dreiberg's classroom door during the prep hour before classes start, a cup of hot, steaming coffee in each hand.
Deja vu hits him hard as he stacks the foam cups and knocks on the door, this meagre attempt at making amends none too different from those attempts he has made in this past.
Mr. Dreiberg
Daniel has a fair idea of who it is. He's not mad. He has just been waiting for Kovacs to come to him; he's starting to get used to the steps in this dance.
He pulls open the door, a warm smile waiting. "Hey, you."
Mr. Kovacs
"Morning, Daniel," he says, standing in the door, somewhat surprised to be gifted with that winning smile of Dan's. "Brought you some coffee." He unstacks the coffees again, handing one over. "May I come in?"
Mr. Dreiberg
Daniel rests a hand on Kovacs wrist as he takes his cup from the man. He gives it a squeeze. He doesn't want this to be hard for his friend, Dan's not into playing the 'You-hurt-me-I-withhold-love-from-you game. "You're more than welcome. We could go for a walk through the courtyard or just talk in here. Anything's fine."
Mr. Kovacs
Kovacs swallows, shifting restlessly under Dan's affection. He smirks a bit at the suggestion. He's been preempted.
"Walk would be fine," he says, deciding that it will at least break the silence that is certain to ensue as he works up the nerve to say what he needs to.
Mr. Dreiberg
Daniel shuts off the lights in his room and locks the door. He lets Kovacs lead them as they walk.
Mr. Kovacs
Kovacs sips his coffee as they make their way outside, not saying much until they're outside, lost in his own thoughts. He has had some time to think since their date-cum-fight last weekend and, though he's not quite certain what it is that he really wants, he knows what he needs to say.
"Last weekend," he finally ventures once they're far enough away from the school and anyone within hearing distance, "was a mistake."
Mr. Dreiberg
Daniel nods. He's not exactly sure where Kovacs is going, but either way, he's prepared himself for the best and the worst. He finally takes a sip of his coffee, hints of sugar in the brew.
Mr. Kovacs
Kovacs chances a glance over at the other man, then looks forward to the path that they're walking on. "Pushed myself into something I knew I wasn't comfortable with for sake of propriety. Should never have... Invited you out."
He is usually so calculated. He usually thinks about all the different possibilities and potentialities when forming tactics and plans, preparing for every eventuality. This time, instead, he dove in without thinking (or at least without thinking enough) like he often does in the heat of the moment when he's roaming the city's dark, filthy streets. And Dan's choice of diner was like an uppercut that left him winded and blinking black blots from his eyes.
Mr. Dreiberg
Daniel leans against a tree, one hand in his pocket. "Sometimes we have to push our boundaries to figure out what we're not comfortable with." He watches Kovacs, never being able to help but want him. "I'm glad you did, even if it didn't go how we wanted."
Mr. Kovacs
Kovacs slowly pivots, turning his step as Dan stops so that he can face him. He practically mirrors Dan's posture with a hand in his pocket, a slight slouch to his posture, as he regards the other. "Would have been favorable if it hadn't ended so disastrously. Didn't mean to leave you on such a... Pensive note. Just needed time to think about things. Alone."
Mr. Dreiberg
Dan feels really strange hearing the words, a laugh niggling him but he forces himself to stay calm. He has no idea what's gotten in to him, but the thought of this man being so broody for some reason makes him love him more and the joy of being so infatuated makes him a little giddy. Despite what happened, he came away with a lighter feeling. He knows it will pass and they'll work it out eventually.
"Everyone needs space. I get that you need a bit more than others and that I can be pretty invasive." Dan swallows and mentally smacks himself for thinking of pushing the ginger man against the tree and showing him just how invasive he can be.
Mr. Kovacs
Kovacs takes his hand from his pocket and scratches at the back of his neck. He feels the urge to remind Dan that this isn't something he's used to or that he knows how to do. But Dan already knows that and he's said it many times.
"Yes," he agrees instead. "Need a lot of space."
Mr. Dreiberg
Dan keeps telling himself not to feel guilty about the venue he'd picked out for them. He thought being somewhere they wouldn't be targeted for being two men holding hands was the right option. Would it have been easier if they'd gone somewhere he couldn't touch him?
Dan sighs. "What are we gonna do, Walter?"
Mr. Kovacs
"Still... Want to continue?" he asks though he's pretty certain that he already knows the answer.
Mr. Dreiberg
Mr. Dreiberg takes a long look around the yard, into the high up windows, searching for prying eyes. Upon seeing none, he stroked Kovacs hand. "Always."
Mr. Kovacs
Kovacs follows Dan's eyes around, looks as well, and isn't surprised when Dan reaches out to touch him. His jaw clenches and he tries to remind himself that this is okay.
But what goes on in his private life is private and his reputation matters, particularly here. So he holds Dan's gaze and carefully takes his hand away, nodding lightly as sets a small boundary and observes Dan's reaction to it.
Mr. Dreiberg
Dan nods back, knowing his error but enjoying the slight button push anyway.
Mr. Kovacs
"Wouldn't you rather be with someone that you could be together with in public? Someone... Easier?" he asks, this small doubt getting the best of him.
Mr. Dreiberg
Dan feels a little irritated by this question, but knows it's not because of Kovacs, it's other people's little boxes. "What's the fun in life being easy?" He smiles.
He worries a little that Kovacs will take his meaning wrong and quickly says, "Not that you're hard. I mean, you're wonderful! I like you for you. I don't want to be with someone for the sake of convenience."
Mr. Kovacs
Walter swallows and nods slowly, taking another drink of his coffee to wet his palette. "Well, can certainly promise you plenty of inconvenience," he says with a snarky smirk, a shot at his own expense.
"Would like to continue as well," he finally says, more quietly than before. "Perhaps less publicly...?"
Mr. Dreiberg
Daniel has thought about this. He's tested the waters of how public they can be. Kovacs is closeted, maybe too harsh a term, but the best he can pin on the situation. He doesn't want to put the truth in people's faces and show them it's okay to be who you are. He nods. Another secret to keep. That's okay, he's got plenty already.
"I think I'm going to let you call the shots for a little while, if that's alright?"
Mr. Kovacs
If Dan has never seen Kovacs look relieved, he has now. The set of his shoulders seems to slouch a little bit and his expression opens, giving Dan what may be a look of gratitude. "Yes. That's fine."
Off in the distance, the early bell rings, and Kovacs checks his watch. "Class starts in 10 minutes."
Mr. Dreiberg
Daniel smiles, looking right into Kovacs eyes. He turns to leave, waiting for Kovacs to follow. "Another day, another dollar, huh?"
Mr. Kovacs
Kovacs gives Dan an inquisitive look, but doesn't ask, as they walk back into the school together.