Oh, doubts, doubts
A lot of things are going on in my head these days. (They're not as much as I'm making them to be, but it concerns the future and now they just come, one on top of another).
It started with me loosing my faith in the school system. I think, what does it matter getting a good score if I won't remember shit an hour later? And vice versa, what's so wrong about a mediocre grade, when I've shown the teachers and most importantly myself that I understand the subject, just wasn't in a good condition during the test. When did the love of knowledge stop being enough? When did school become a human resources factory? Why the 'whats' and no longer the 'whys'. Whatever's happened to Plato's akademia.
In the end, we're just living life, why not make it to its fullest? Can't I just learn things for the sake of learning, not because one day it will give me lots and lots of money? Too idealistic for my own good? Tell me about it.
Something is wrong here. Many people I talked to were thinking the same, then why isn't things changing? Why isn't anything happening? Where is the tipping point anyway? This is - I shouldn't be feeling like this. Shouldn't be thinking like this, if I want to get anywhere within the system. Oh Descartes, "Dubito, ergo cogito, ergo sum." (Some centuries after the division, it seems that we've forgotten they used to be connected).
One little problem that comes out of these doubts is that I can't understand what my teachers say anymore. Or I understand and they wouldn't stick. It's not doing well for my grades in the past few weeks, but I've decided that I'm not my scores so why do they matter, and it's an endless cycle of cynicism. (Funny how I used to associate that with adulthood.)
You know how they say when you've got 10 problems at hand, solve the one that has to do with God, and the rest would be taken care of. Seek and you shall find. Ask and you shall be given. So I'm asking.
(By the way, they use "Descartes" in the history textbooks and "Cartesius" in the math textbooks... make up your mind, yo.)
Another little thing that's crowding my mind is...
It started with me loosing my faith in the school system. I think, what does it matter getting a good score if I won't remember shit an hour later? And vice versa, what's so wrong about a mediocre grade, when I've shown the teachers and most importantly myself that I understand the subject, just wasn't in a good condition during the test. When did the love of knowledge stop being enough? When did school become a human resources factory? Why the 'whats' and no longer the 'whys'. Whatever's happened to Plato's akademia.
In the end, we're just living life, why not make it to its fullest? Can't I just learn things for the sake of learning, not because one day it will give me lots and lots of money? Too idealistic for my own good? Tell me about it.
Something is wrong here. Many people I talked to were thinking the same, then why isn't things changing? Why isn't anything happening? Where is the tipping point anyway? This is - I shouldn't be feeling like this. Shouldn't be thinking like this, if I want to get anywhere within the system. Oh Descartes, "Dubito, ergo cogito, ergo sum." (Some centuries after the division, it seems that we've forgotten they used to be connected).
One little problem that comes out of these doubts is that I can't understand what my teachers say anymore. Or I understand and they wouldn't stick. It's not doing well for my grades in the past few weeks, but I've decided that I'm not my scores so why do they matter, and it's an endless cycle of cynicism. (Funny how I used to associate that with adulthood.)
You know how they say when you've got 10 problems at hand, solve the one that has to do with God, and the rest would be taken care of. Seek and you shall find. Ask and you shall be given. So I'm asking.
(By the way, they use "Descartes" in the history textbooks and "Cartesius" in the math textbooks... make up your mind, yo.)
Another little thing that's crowding my mind is...