meh.

[regretxmexnot]

myspace tells you all a different story than what i'm really feeling. i don't have the heart to tell certain people, certain things. i'm not really the happy gal i'm putting out there. this guy is super nice and i've known him for years, but it's not what i need in life. and what i need in life, is to explore my wonders and curiosities. not play the field, but satiate my desire to explore my sexuality. to define myself. this "not sure" business isn't me.

my waning desire for the opposite sex doesn't have to do with the whole "broken-hearted, man-hating" stuff...its an actual feeling inside. i really feel that way. i'm just in a state of deep and utter confusion and/or denial.

i'm falling in that spiral. reaching up. who's going to grab my hand?