hold on, hold on,
With my abstaining from the drunks in my life and knowing who isnt allowed to bask in my happiness with me, i guess life is looking up.
many people have asked me what i saw in you, maybe it was because i, too, was very drunk everytime we were together..or maybe it was your traditional tattoos and enigmatic character. no, it was probably because youre fucking crazy, an alcoholic, and over the age of 30. what is my problem?
my friends are wonderful and once you've made the decision that your friends add to your life not cause you pain, and those that do cause you pain can just be removed quite easily, it's actually very nice.
it was so wonderful to feel needed by my family. the guilt and shame i have for my depression causes me to question my own validity with my family's love and whether or not i'm truly worthy of such an amazing family..but hearing my father say the words, "alisa, you are the only one i want here to take care of me" was heartbreaking and wonderful at once. knowing he was so close to knockin on heaven's door a few times was unlike anything i've ever felt. he is the strongest man in my life and the only mistakes i make with men are that i don't choose the ones who will treat me as wonderful as my father does. i really don't deserve anything less.
it is ridiculously hot here. deathly, even. last summer i promised myself it was the final summer for me in the valley because i couldnt bear another one, but here i am...
so ill make that promise one more time, in hopes of it being actually true.
many people have asked me what i saw in you, maybe it was because i, too, was very drunk everytime we were together..or maybe it was your traditional tattoos and enigmatic character. no, it was probably because youre fucking crazy, an alcoholic, and over the age of 30. what is my problem?
my friends are wonderful and once you've made the decision that your friends add to your life not cause you pain, and those that do cause you pain can just be removed quite easily, it's actually very nice.
it was so wonderful to feel needed by my family. the guilt and shame i have for my depression causes me to question my own validity with my family's love and whether or not i'm truly worthy of such an amazing family..but hearing my father say the words, "alisa, you are the only one i want here to take care of me" was heartbreaking and wonderful at once. knowing he was so close to knockin on heaven's door a few times was unlike anything i've ever felt. he is the strongest man in my life and the only mistakes i make with men are that i don't choose the ones who will treat me as wonderful as my father does. i really don't deserve anything less.
it is ridiculously hot here. deathly, even. last summer i promised myself it was the final summer for me in the valley because i couldnt bear another one, but here i am...
so ill make that promise one more time, in hopes of it being actually true.