Im sorry to keep writing in your lj... but its 1:15 in the morning and all I can think about is u.... I just tried calling u... I even tried to call gina.. I thought calling u and hearing your voice mail would make me feel better, so I could hear the sound of your voice... but I was wrong... It made me even more depressed... It made me realize how much I miss u... and how miserable my life is without you in it... I was just reading threw some of your old notes, and u were right... u did treat me better than anyone ever has... I doubt I'll ever find someone to treat me the same way you did... and I know I said in my past entry and in my message That I didnt want you back and that I at least wanted to remain friends... I lied... I do want you back... and I not afraid to say it... I want you back more than anything... If you took me back I would never treat u bad, lie to you, or cheat on you ever again... I would treat u like gold and cherish the ground u walk on... Even though I know there's a 1 in a 1,000,000 chance that u would ever consider this Im going to try anyway... Your the person I want to spend the rest of my life with... and I know there are alot of people that read your lj, but Im not afraid to say any of this in front of them... cause I really mean it... And then I was thinking... the time u cheated on me, even though it was once, you were sober the time u did it... That doesnt make up for, or cancel out the three times I cheated on you when I was drunk... what Im saying is... I would go completely sober just to have u back... you mean more to me than any drug or alcohol... I know you prob. think I pathetic for begging to have you back, but thats how much u mean to me chelsea, and if thats what I have to do to increase the chances of getting you back, well then... I going to do it... I hope that u find it in your heart to give me one more chance... Thats all im asking for is just one more chance... please... I show you that I have changed... chelsea... everyone makes mistakes now and then and u know that... if U truly do love as much as you say u do then please take me back... Give me one more chance... just give it some thought....
And then I was thinking... the time u cheated on me, even though it was once, you were sober the time u did it... That doesnt make up for, or cancel out the three times I cheated on you when I was drunk... what Im saying is... I would go completely sober just to have u back... you mean more to me than any drug or alcohol...
I know you prob. think I pathetic for begging to have you back, but thats how much u mean to me chelsea, and if thats what I have to do to increase the chances of getting you back, well then... I going to do it... I hope that u find it in your heart to give me one more chance... Thats all im asking for is just one more chance... please... I show you that I have changed...
chelsea... everyone makes mistakes now and then and u know that... if U truly do love as much as you say u do then please take me back... Give me one more chance... just give it some thought....
love you...
bye...
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