43 Unicorn, Saturday
Kenzi's life had taken a turn for the exhausting. So many places to sneak into! So much food to walk off with! So many people to snicker at! .... so she was taking a nap today. All day was Nap Day, if you asked her
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Her dealer had sent her here to get some kind of amulet-thing, and she wasn't really sure what that was, but she was going to get it. She cased the joint, and decided to climb in through a window. From there, she'd sneak upstairs and grab the amulet from where she was hoping it was, like, in a jewelry box or something, 'cause that was her first guess.
Her plan had some gaping flaws in it, such as the fact that she wasn't stealthy, in the least, since she was humming the theme to meta for Mission: Impossible. And that she wasn't acrobatic enough to climb through a window without actually losing her balance and thumping in a heap on the floor, with a even-less-than-stealthy "Awwww, shit."
That might have brought people running from other rooms, if she hadn't, well, picked the one freaking room that the residents of the house were already in.
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Except for the part where Pam's entrance knocked her invisible self into Roland's side, and sent Kenzi flailing toward the fridge, yanking open the door while trying to regain her balance.
"The hell?!"
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He did spill his coffee down his shirt, which sent him hopping and hissing as well as pointing at Pam and going "WHO THE HELL IS THAT?"
And why was she soundtracked like an '80s police comedy villain?
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You should know because she used to be on the teaching staff, Bo. Though to be fair, there'd been a lot of cocaine since then, and her boobs really did look hot as balls now.
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Pam. Those were not ninjas.
"Buuuuuuuuuut I kinda got the wrong window, so -- excuse me!"
She bowed, as if she was leaving, but instead of ducking back out the window, she turned and abruptly ran up the flight of stairs. Hey! Improvising! Maybe no one would think it was weird???
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Unfortunately, that meant slamming into Bo because she'd forgotten she was invisible.
"Ow, damnit!"
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Though she did have some tremendously hot boobs.
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"Mrrrrrtz?" Zenkitty, who was complaining, because frankly there was a nice warm nap that smelled like mom even if she couldn't see her, and then there was this bullshit.
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Eeny Meeny Miney Moe had led Pam to a room with a lot of leather in it -- which, fucking sweet -- and -- oh! Look! A dresser with a jewelry box on it. When she opened it, it was playing that piano recital McDonald's commercial song, the "and also whoops and also fries" one.
Further helping the catburglary: singing what she remembered of the lyrics as she pocketed the necklace-thing that was hopefully what her dealer wanted. Well, 'pocketed' was not really the nice word, but it was nicely hidden in her cleavage. Did that count as a pocket?
Someone sane might have blessed their good luck and jumped out a low-hanging window, and not, say, yanked open the top dresser drawer, looking for panties.
Maybe the panties would be leather???? Oh, man, being a catburglar was the best.
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She dope-slapped the back of Roland's head on her way by him, picked up Zenkie (thus rendering her very easy to follow, what with the floating cat, but she wasn't exactly thinking of that) and ran up the stairs after the freaking ninja-burglar-crazy-person.
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And the damned farce music.
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Pam was pirouetting around the room, holding up various pieces of underwear against her rockin' boobs. Which is the position she was in, when a cat floated into the room, unaided, followed by a couple of people.
Um. What was it Cheryl had said was the best excuse at moments like this?
"You're not my supervisor!" she tried, before balling up the panties she was holding and tossing them at the cat. "Panty raid! April fools!"
Quick, was there a window in here? Leaping out the window was suddenly looking like a very good option.
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Zenkie was not cooperating, and now appeared to think that the underwear were something that needed to be slain. "Rrrrrrrrrr!"
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Which was totally sensible if you were a succubus, screw you, invisible, inaudible fishnet-clad hypocrite.
The underwear, not the eating of it.
And yes, there was a window. A second-floor window, but a window.
"...It isn't even April."
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"This whole island is off key."
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