Seduction
Seduction. Have you ever seduced someone or has anyone ever seduced you?
Of course I've seduced someone! I've seduced lots of someones. In fact, I could seduce YOU right now. Yeah, that's right, I'm talking to you. If I wanted to, I could seduce your ass off!
But that's not really the question, is it? And since I have so many seductions to choose from, I'll tell you about the one that was the most fun. Which, ironically, didn't even end in sex. Not for me, at least. But we'll get to that later.
I tried to seduce Chandler once. It was all a game, because he and Monica were hiding the fact that they were doing it, and Rachel and I wanted to mess with them. I saw them from Ugly Naked Guy's apartment one day (and let me just say that's an image I will never be able to scrub out of my brain), and when I found out they'd been trying to hide it from everyone, I couldn't resist having a little fun. So while Rachel was giving Monica laundry (long story, and not as much fun as mine), I used my sexuality against Chandler. And boy, did I freak him out. Seriously, if I hadn't just seen him and Monica getting busy against her windows, I would have been even more convinced he was gay.
Anyway, I guess I laid it on too thick, because he realized I wouldn't be trying to seduce him without a motive other than wanting his body, and he figured out I knew about him and Monica. So instead of just coming out and telling me, he tried to beat me at my own game, and started trying to seduce me back. Ha! Poor guy, no one can beat me at that game. Well, maybe Joey. That man has some moves, let me tell you. But again, that's another story.
Where was I? Oh yeah, Chandler was trying to seduce me, too, but of course, as soon as he started flirting back, I knew something was up. He knew that I knew about him and Monica. But he didn't know that I KNEW that he knew! So I kept at it, really went for it. I even showed him my bra (thanks, Joey). I think at that point, he knew that I knew that he knew, and I knew that he knew that I knew, but we were both too stubborn to be the first to back off, so we kept going. Finally, he chickened out just as I was about to kiss him, and admitted that he was in love with Monica. Which was a total shock to me, to be honest. I just thought they were having sex! If I knew they were in love, I wouldn't have tried to seduce him like that! I never go after my friends' guys like that. Not while they're still dating them, at least.
So that ended the seduction, which was fine, because it was getting kind of weird and creepy, anyway. And Monica and Chandler were in love with each other, which was actually really sweet (and they probably had lots of hot monkey sex later on, but I'd really rather not think about that, okay?). Ross still didn't know, though, so we had to keep the secret a while longer, which I think just about broke poor Joey. He's never been very good with secrets.
Of course I've seduced someone! I've seduced lots of someones. In fact, I could seduce YOU right now. Yeah, that's right, I'm talking to you. If I wanted to, I could seduce your ass off!
But that's not really the question, is it? And since I have so many seductions to choose from, I'll tell you about the one that was the most fun. Which, ironically, didn't even end in sex. Not for me, at least. But we'll get to that later.
I tried to seduce Chandler once. It was all a game, because he and Monica were hiding the fact that they were doing it, and Rachel and I wanted to mess with them. I saw them from Ugly Naked Guy's apartment one day (and let me just say that's an image I will never be able to scrub out of my brain), and when I found out they'd been trying to hide it from everyone, I couldn't resist having a little fun. So while Rachel was giving Monica laundry (long story, and not as much fun as mine), I used my sexuality against Chandler. And boy, did I freak him out. Seriously, if I hadn't just seen him and Monica getting busy against her windows, I would have been even more convinced he was gay.
Anyway, I guess I laid it on too thick, because he realized I wouldn't be trying to seduce him without a motive other than wanting his body, and he figured out I knew about him and Monica. So instead of just coming out and telling me, he tried to beat me at my own game, and started trying to seduce me back. Ha! Poor guy, no one can beat me at that game. Well, maybe Joey. That man has some moves, let me tell you. But again, that's another story.
Where was I? Oh yeah, Chandler was trying to seduce me, too, but of course, as soon as he started flirting back, I knew something was up. He knew that I knew about him and Monica. But he didn't know that I KNEW that he knew! So I kept at it, really went for it. I even showed him my bra (thanks, Joey). I think at that point, he knew that I knew that he knew, and I knew that he knew that I knew, but we were both too stubborn to be the first to back off, so we kept going. Finally, he chickened out just as I was about to kiss him, and admitted that he was in love with Monica. Which was a total shock to me, to be honest. I just thought they were having sex! If I knew they were in love, I wouldn't have tried to seduce him like that! I never go after my friends' guys like that. Not while they're still dating them, at least.
So that ended the seduction, which was fine, because it was getting kind of weird and creepy, anyway. And Monica and Chandler were in love with each other, which was actually really sweet (and they probably had lots of hot monkey sex later on, but I'd really rather not think about that, okay?). Ross still didn't know, though, so we had to keep the secret a while longer, which I think just about broke poor Joey. He's never been very good with secrets.