☲ Vox Deae XI
Sanaki fell to her knees, staring blankly forward.
"King Tibarn was right. The massacre of the Heron Tribe was entirely the doing of Begnion. My nation, why? Why attack such peaceful people? Did I...did I do this? Did I command this? Why in Ashera's name would I do such a disgusting thing? I am the empress, however, and any action taken by my nation is...my responsibility, whether at my command or not. I should have had the power to stop it."
She sighed. "No family. I do not need one. There is no reason I should not be able to hold up the weight of the nation myself. I am the empress. Protecting my people is my duty. A duty I failed, but a duty nevertheless." She wrapped her arms around herself. "Sigrun? Sigrun? No, never mind. There is no one to protect me. What failure of a ruler deserves protecting, anyways?"
Her face fell into her hands. "My people, slaughtering the herons, then each other. I have brought such horrible disgrace to my family. Perhaps it is best they are dead so they do not see the failure of a empress I am. Perhaps it will be best if the line ends with me entirely. Not as though I have much choice in that matter. I will always be an empress. Never a friend, a wife, or anything else. No love. I will be the known as the...lone, little empress. Forever."
"And I will be known as a failure at that."
She shook her head fervently, shouting, "Stop, stop, stop! Stop fight! Stop killing each other! Please, I've seen enough killing for one lifetime. I cannot bare anymore. Stop!"
((1% on the Serenes Massacre, minus when it occurred; 1% on having no living family members; 1% on her nation and army being split and fighting amongst themselves in Parts 3 and 4 of Radiant Dawn. Her nightmare? Loss of confidence and faith in herself and thinking her nation is slaughtering itself. She'll be imagining everyone around her fighting each other.))
"King Tibarn was right. The massacre of the Heron Tribe was entirely the doing of Begnion. My nation, why? Why attack such peaceful people? Did I...did I do this? Did I command this? Why in Ashera's name would I do such a disgusting thing? I am the empress, however, and any action taken by my nation is...my responsibility, whether at my command or not. I should have had the power to stop it."
She sighed. "No family. I do not need one. There is no reason I should not be able to hold up the weight of the nation myself. I am the empress. Protecting my people is my duty. A duty I failed, but a duty nevertheless." She wrapped her arms around herself. "Sigrun? Sigrun? No, never mind. There is no one to protect me. What failure of a ruler deserves protecting, anyways?"
Her face fell into her hands. "My people, slaughtering the herons, then each other. I have brought such horrible disgrace to my family. Perhaps it is best they are dead so they do not see the failure of a empress I am. Perhaps it will be best if the line ends with me entirely. Not as though I have much choice in that matter. I will always be an empress. Never a friend, a wife, or anything else. No love. I will be the known as the...lone, little empress. Forever."
"And I will be known as a failure at that."
She shook her head fervently, shouting, "Stop, stop, stop! Stop fight! Stop killing each other! Please, I've seen enough killing for one lifetime. I cannot bare anymore. Stop!"
((1% on the Serenes Massacre, minus when it occurred; 1% on having no living family members; 1% on her nation and army being split and fighting amongst themselves in Parts 3 and 4 of Radiant Dawn. Her nightmare? Loss of confidence and faith in herself and thinking her nation is slaughtering itself. She'll be imagining everyone around her fighting each other.))