(no subject)
I don't know what to say or think at this moment.
Rodolphus is married. This is so wrong, isn't it. Just so wrong and it's not fair. He deserves better.
Not fair.
On a better note, staying with Amycus was nice. It was stress-free, and most of all, I felt like I didn't have to be anyone else just to fit in. I could be a sixteen year old. Which is good. It was nice to catch up with him.
We talked about a lot. And..and that thing. That Lord, whomever. The one my family keeps talking about. It's sort of a frightening concept. That usually generated conversation for some time. However, there was always some sort of gap when I spoke to him. I never know how to correct it. And I never knew what to say.
But what else is there to say? What else is there for me to dwell on? How could I have told him that..that..
that we're over. we're done. gods, this is difficult and especially now, here by myself, wondering what will happen and what..what he's doing. Everyone's lives around me are changing and I'm here..doing nothing..and wondering.. I'm such an idiot.
I have to stop thinking about this. It's pointless.
i miss him so much.
It's so boring here. As much as I love home..I wish there was something to do.