a bit of me. piece by piece. day for day. if you overlook, you will never understand.
the radio said 4:44 when i ended debate and decided to make a decision before it was too late and i was off doing some stupid shit i probably shouldnt have to maybe someday have a story in which i could look back and laugh to the grandkids about. sometimes i feel like im slowly skidding off the earth's surface. sometimes i feel like all's not right and that's alright to me. i conclude that she's among one of the most beautifulestastikal specimens of existence i have ever laid eyes upon and i mean that even more than i can comprehend at the moment and that scares me immensely.
i believe my cat's a sad perverted little slutbag who doesnt know better... sad how this reminds of me of many of the girls in my life.
i have so much on my mind right now i just want to throw up mountains on someone's face.
a misanthrope is probably really what i am though sometimes i feel otherwise. it all varies i suppose but lately the anger's been growing.
i just dont'want to care anymore.
i just dont want to have to think about the things i never really cared to think about in the first place that was kind of drilled into my psyche as sort of precautionary lessons in self destruction.
i hate everybody for the fear ive allowed them to instill inside me. and, uh.. i guess that's not entirely healthy.
all my life i handle people's problems because it just made sense. eventually it all piles and im left with major problems of my own to deal with. this is where im bombarded hardest. and it hurts the back of my brain and stiffens my neck.
i just want to fucking cry tsunami's and crush anyone who would find that funny and then slap an emo kid in the face with my dick. .. have him buy me new pants or something.
is this really how fucking simple it is?
just catch on, glide, and shut the fuck up?
i helped an almost microscopic spider maneuver through my car from one window to the next and make a clean getaway while i waited for the traffic to move in front of me yesterday and it was one of the most incredible moments in my life .. next to that owl i saw in the road that one morning.
the first half of tonight seemed like an odd dream. filled with familiar faces ive never seen with hints of past memories mixed with blank possibilities. kind of like familiar people ive never met before. i dont know, i cant really describe it different.. or, maybe dont really care to. but... .... ....... ......... . . ............. yea. w wow. w
i hold so much in, i fear blood pressure (for real). body collapse like demolition buildings. heart failure from neglect and misuse. crooked knees that snapp. frosty mini beats. haunted mansions.... lip, bite almost off. erect insertions. i will strangle you to like me. are we sick?
i just want an acoustic. thats all. some pedals maybe.
my lungs go on hold sometimes, it feels. my ear crumbles out petrified brains, i dont take in enough air in them. i was gettin so good at my knowledge of time before i allowed myself to be distracted. im hungry. to make my brain stop hurting, i only have to think it.
to make my brain stop hurting, i only have to think it.
i only have to do that in which i choose.
and maybe get some sleepin in tomorrow.
i hate incomplete arguments. i hate no resolutions. i hate misinterpreted judgments (and judgment in general). i hate double standards and hypocrisy. lies and make believe games of secret societies. this has all been mentioned timeless amounts of time yet somehow its difficult to get (??). and i dont even know what to do anymore. its becoming a little like a really bad joke that was never funny to begin with that just never ends. so, i guess thats it.. the humor to it all... nothing's ever really funny anyway.. not to no one else, at least, or so it seems.
i believe my cat's a sad perverted little slutbag who doesnt know better... sad how this reminds of me of many of the girls in my life.
i have so much on my mind right now i just want to throw up mountains on someone's face.
a misanthrope is probably really what i am though sometimes i feel otherwise. it all varies i suppose but lately the anger's been growing.
i just dont'want to care anymore.
i just dont want to have to think about the things i never really cared to think about in the first place that was kind of drilled into my psyche as sort of precautionary lessons in self destruction.
i hate everybody for the fear ive allowed them to instill inside me. and, uh.. i guess that's not entirely healthy.
all my life i handle people's problems because it just made sense. eventually it all piles and im left with major problems of my own to deal with. this is where im bombarded hardest. and it hurts the back of my brain and stiffens my neck.
i just want to fucking cry tsunami's and crush anyone who would find that funny and then slap an emo kid in the face with my dick. .. have him buy me new pants or something.
is this really how fucking simple it is?
just catch on, glide, and shut the fuck up?
i helped an almost microscopic spider maneuver through my car from one window to the next and make a clean getaway while i waited for the traffic to move in front of me yesterday and it was one of the most incredible moments in my life .. next to that owl i saw in the road that one morning.
the first half of tonight seemed like an odd dream. filled with familiar faces ive never seen with hints of past memories mixed with blank possibilities. kind of like familiar people ive never met before. i dont know, i cant really describe it different.. or, maybe dont really care to. but... .... ....... ......... . . ............. yea. w wow. w
i hold so much in, i fear blood pressure (for real). body collapse like demolition buildings. heart failure from neglect and misuse. crooked knees that snapp. frosty mini beats. haunted mansions.... lip, bite almost off. erect insertions. i will strangle you to like me. are we sick?
i just want an acoustic. thats all. some pedals maybe.
my lungs go on hold sometimes, it feels. my ear crumbles out petrified brains, i dont take in enough air in them. i was gettin so good at my knowledge of time before i allowed myself to be distracted. im hungry. to make my brain stop hurting, i only have to think it.
to make my brain stop hurting, i only have to think it.
i only have to do that in which i choose.
and maybe get some sleepin in tomorrow.
i hate incomplete arguments. i hate no resolutions. i hate misinterpreted judgments (and judgment in general). i hate double standards and hypocrisy. lies and make believe games of secret societies. this has all been mentioned timeless amounts of time yet somehow its difficult to get (??). and i dont even know what to do anymore. its becoming a little like a really bad joke that was never funny to begin with that just never ends. so, i guess thats it.. the humor to it all... nothing's ever really funny anyway.. not to no one else, at least, or so it seems.