long time
its been forever since i updated and i feel like i should finally get to it. i saw an amazing movie today. i judge the greatness of a movie by the power it has to disturb me. by disturb i mean the movie temporarily or permanently alters my emotional state. ive seen so many movies that it is rare that i feel anything other than contentment and interest in the characters/plot/whatever. i saw hero. no, im not going to go all hardcore about it; i feel a movie like that shouldn't be spazzed on. i dont even know if i should try to describe it, but it left me with a feeling of intense finallity and maybe sadness. but i can honestly say the movie was beautiful, and the story was beautiful. the action scenes are excellent but i almost wanted them to disappear. they had to be there to properly tell the myth but i almost wish someone could find a way to bottle that feeling evoked in certain kung fu scenes and give it to me in a pure form. im rambling. in the movies final scenes i saw people struggling to do what needed to be done and succeding. im torn between relief and wishing they hadnt done it. see it and hopefully it will disturb you too.
completely different note. anonymous has yet to contact me. i hate being powerless. says he wants to but who knows if he still does? is he unable? has life just got in the way? he made a commitment by saying he wanted to talk, but he also left himself an loop hole by remaining anonymous. is he excerising that option? i hope not.
also different note. i realized today just how many people have gone out of their way to encourage, help, and teach me. i dont know why. i heard a song and it reminded me of when i was locked up. there was a person who came in and taught us about music. only a small group. she was a civilian who was just doing a kind deed. one day i get called down to a room and shes there with a cd player and a cd. she had went out and bought Abbey Road because i had said i really liked the Beatles. listening to the cd with me was the first time she ever heard Come Together. i took it for granted then just as i take things and people for granted now. but im so thankful. i dont deserve it. i still dont know what to do with my life. to everyone whos helped me along the way, thank you. i guess ill try to pass it on.
completely different note. anonymous has yet to contact me. i hate being powerless. says he wants to but who knows if he still does? is he unable? has life just got in the way? he made a commitment by saying he wanted to talk, but he also left himself an loop hole by remaining anonymous. is he excerising that option? i hope not.
also different note. i realized today just how many people have gone out of their way to encourage, help, and teach me. i dont know why. i heard a song and it reminded me of when i was locked up. there was a person who came in and taught us about music. only a small group. she was a civilian who was just doing a kind deed. one day i get called down to a room and shes there with a cd player and a cd. she had went out and bought Abbey Road because i had said i really liked the Beatles. listening to the cd with me was the first time she ever heard Come Together. i took it for granted then just as i take things and people for granted now. but im so thankful. i dont deserve it. i still dont know what to do with my life. to everyone whos helped me along the way, thank you. i guess ill try to pass it on.