(no subject)
I haven't posted in a long time. I just hadn't felt the lj vibe like I used to. right now, though, I feel it.
the last few days have sucked. yes, my 21st birthday sucked.
drama exploded like nothing else, and it pretty much ruined both today and yesterday. not all was bad for my birthday, though... Nick did bring me a nice surprise, and Philip got me this amusing Grinch hypnotic waffle iron. and there was cake at chapter, but it wasn't super-special b/c it was also Nik, Julie, & Ngoc's birthday too.
anyway, so suckage. it probably wouldn't be so bad if everything weren't exploding all at the same time. Phi Sig is stressful b/c retreat is this weekend, and things are stressful b/c they're busy. plus, bros were yelling at me. two initiates dropped at the last minute, which was hard. I can't tell whether or not JV is mad at me, although I'm pretty sure she isn't at the moment. I don't feel important when it comes to Phi Sig. period, regardless of initiation.
final voting went well. just really long. too long to make it even worth contemplating whether or not to go downtown, despite 21st birthday-ness.
add in some academic stressors, and that doesn't help. classes are hard.
relationship stressors just make things worse... I suddenly feel like the only people in the world I can truly lean on are my mom and Caity. where did all my friends go? I know drama exploded, but I missed them before that. Nick's not causing me problems, but he's just not available to be any help either. he doesn't know how to comfort when he is so stressed, although that's really what I need right now. at least he stopped telling me the things I'm doing wrong b/c I really couldn't handle that.
one thing I can say is that it's made me love Caity that much more. thank you for being sane, roomie.
this isn't a mental breakdown. I'm just tired of shit. I was in a good mood yesterday until my birthday was ruined by drama.
okay, so I'm exaggerating. but we didn't even eat cake. Philip, Caity, & I were the ones who really celebrated, which was nice.
I'm just emotionally drained, which affects my ability to do other things too. to a serious, serious degree.
I want not to care.
the last few days have sucked. yes, my 21st birthday sucked.
drama exploded like nothing else, and it pretty much ruined both today and yesterday. not all was bad for my birthday, though... Nick did bring me a nice surprise, and Philip got me this amusing Grinch hypnotic waffle iron. and there was cake at chapter, but it wasn't super-special b/c it was also Nik, Julie, & Ngoc's birthday too.
anyway, so suckage. it probably wouldn't be so bad if everything weren't exploding all at the same time. Phi Sig is stressful b/c retreat is this weekend, and things are stressful b/c they're busy. plus, bros were yelling at me. two initiates dropped at the last minute, which was hard. I can't tell whether or not JV is mad at me, although I'm pretty sure she isn't at the moment. I don't feel important when it comes to Phi Sig. period, regardless of initiation.
final voting went well. just really long. too long to make it even worth contemplating whether or not to go downtown, despite 21st birthday-ness.
add in some academic stressors, and that doesn't help. classes are hard.
relationship stressors just make things worse... I suddenly feel like the only people in the world I can truly lean on are my mom and Caity. where did all my friends go? I know drama exploded, but I missed them before that. Nick's not causing me problems, but he's just not available to be any help either. he doesn't know how to comfort when he is so stressed, although that's really what I need right now. at least he stopped telling me the things I'm doing wrong b/c I really couldn't handle that.
one thing I can say is that it's made me love Caity that much more. thank you for being sane, roomie.
this isn't a mental breakdown. I'm just tired of shit. I was in a good mood yesterday until my birthday was ruined by drama.
okay, so I'm exaggerating. but we didn't even eat cake. Philip, Caity, & I were the ones who really celebrated, which was nice.
I'm just emotionally drained, which affects my ability to do other things too. to a serious, serious degree.
I want not to care.