the anthem won't explain it
I'm still reeling a bit from this weekend, and I've had to severely restrict my MCR intake for the time being. (No Black Parade every morning on the way to work! No "Famous Last Words" for awhile! Just a song here and there.) Concentrating at work is almost harder than it was last week.
Also, I keep trying to write a detailed, chronological concert report, and (three drafts later) it's really not working. On the one hand, it gets ridiculously melodramatic (probably because it was. Even getting to the concert was a sort of fairy tale journey, complete with a decent set of tribulations--buses, flying, filthy New York subways with rats, and five hours standing in the rain--and a transformative experience at the end). On the other, it comes out far too stilted. I'm too fucking emotional and not nearly eloquent enough.
There are a lot of reports around that talk about the various amazing things that happened at the concert. Gerard was almost messianic (holy fucking charisma), Mikeyway was smoking hot, Ray and Bob were magnificent, Frank was not terribly frenetic but still rocked out, and while I could not see Dewees well at all, his solo towards the end floored me. There were hugs, and dreams-come-true, and wacky hijinks (the wave, and Gerard picking Mikey up mid-song, still playing his bass). They played just about every song I especially wished to hear. Gerard promised us a new album, and then gave us a heart attack with his last few words: "if we never play another show, keep yourselves alive." (I'm not actually worried, and I don't think that's the point anyway, but still.)
Gerard Way is every bit the frontman I'd been led to believe; he was electrifying. I tried to watch the rest of the band, but mostly, my eyes were glued. Testify, he said. Let me hear you. Get your hands in the air. Fuckers! And we did. And I don't know if it was just me (I doubt it), but I wanted to be able to do it ten times over every time.
I think there were fewer wacky hijinks than usual, because in many ways this was a pretty serious show: it was the end of two years of touring, it was a dream being realized, and it was, as olivia_circe put it, About The Music. Gerard (I definitely blame Gerard) really wanted us to feel the epic quality of it, and the sadness; as sweetvalleyslut pointed out, he chose his last few songs with care. I felt so broken after, so desperate for it not to be over. A good concert will generally take me out of myself for awhile, but I've never felt myself slam back into reality quite so painfully, after.
The night wasn't over after that; the three of us wound up sitting on the sidewalk outside the band's bus until about two in the morning, along with a large group of fangirls, joking and squeeing and generally having a fabulous time. It helped to get out of my own head for awhile.
No, I'm definitely not capable of explaining why the experience was so profound. jjtaylor does a fantastic job here. I've seen other great posts, but I think that's the one I identified with the most strongly. She's much better at describing Gerard than I am.
I've already talked a bit about the effect this fandom has on me; that I have so much more inspiration and energy now. Sad though I am that My Chemical Romance has gone away for awhile, I am left with the latter part of Gerard's goodbye: "keep yourselves alive." I've seen this echoed through the journals of some of the other lovely fangirls I know, and the fact that he can make those words work like that really speaks for itself.
My Chemical Romance and Gerard Way set out to "save lives," and I remember being completely incapable of taking that sentiment seriously. These days, I interpret it a little differently, for myself: I'm left with the inspiration to create things of my own, to get back to really living my life instead of just drifting along. (It's pretty clear that I'm not the only one who feels this way! I keep finding it in other peoples' posts. Fangirls. <3) I can't say I'm unafraid, but fucking hell, I'm going to do it. I have stories to tell in words and pictures; and hey, that's something Gerard and I have in common.
(I will miss MCR so much for the next two years, or however long their break actually is. I just found them. But I am so excited to see more of Gerard's other work, which I actually came to first. I realize that I am actually his fan, before I'm their fan, though I'm certainly both.)
As for the Honda Civic Tour concert on Sunday . . . it was a much more light-hearted affair. I really needed that, to get myself back a little bit, because no amount of inspiration is useful if you're too maudlin to do anything with it. I really enjoyed Phantom Planet, and Panic were every bit as adorable as described. Ryan is kind of adorably stiff and . . . deliberate, somehow, in person. (I was sitting right in front of him, so I had a lot of chance to observe.) Spencer and Brendon were both full of glee (Brendon was all over the stage with it), and John Walker rocked it in his bare feet. I have no idea what the Star Wars action figures were about.
It was a little weird to be alone in the second row, surrounded by screaming girls who all had to be under 15 (I swear the ones behind me couldn't have been older than 12), but it was more than worth attending, and I got some lovely fangirlish squee in between sets.
Of course, for me, the night was all about the Hushies; I still have stars in my eyes. Greta. She literally glows, I swear. Ordinarily, I am far too shy to dance around and really rock out if it's just me, but I didn't give a damn. The stupid teenies all around me stayed sitting the entire time, but I grooved and sang to every song, all by myself. Well, Greta knows I love her, now. (I hope I didn't look too creepy, staring at her so raptly. I tried not to.)
The boys were incredible too. Darren, oh man. Chris is tiny and adorable, and Bob! Bob came over during "Honey" and put his foot on the keyboard, and at other points he jumped up on the drums or sang into Chris' mike. I love them all, and I am buying myself a ticket for their Cambridge show the second they go on sale on Friday. Perhaps I will see the internet there.
Okay, that was still a bit scattered, but it's probably the best I can do. I should go and try to earn my wages a little bit, I suppose. There should be fanart from me soon, though. Also, I really need to try and be less of a lurker in general. I love this fandom, and I met some really fabulous people this weekend, albeit briefly. I'd like to be more of a part of it all.
I mean, one of the most amazing things about these experiences has been the people I've had to share them with. sweetvalleyslut, who was with me through almost every minute of the entire thing, who is totally fucking responsible for my being there (and still the best best friend ever for taking all that whiplash in her stride), who held on and swayed with me through some of the saddest moments of the MSG concert. olivia_circe, who came such a fucking far distance, who dazzles me with her meta and makes me salivate with her fic ideas, who texted feverishly with me when I was alone at the HCT. fuschia, who I have so missed sharing a fandom with so damn much. I love you guys. <3 <3 <3
I've totally dissolved into mush now, so I'll leave you with:
"Everything deserves a happy ending. Even if it's a story about the end of the world, you should find some way to end it with a dozen roses. Just throw a little sparkle all over it." - Gerard Way
Also, I keep trying to write a detailed, chronological concert report, and (three drafts later) it's really not working. On the one hand, it gets ridiculously melodramatic (probably because it was. Even getting to the concert was a sort of fairy tale journey, complete with a decent set of tribulations--buses, flying, filthy New York subways with rats, and five hours standing in the rain--and a transformative experience at the end). On the other, it comes out far too stilted. I'm too fucking emotional and not nearly eloquent enough.
There are a lot of reports around that talk about the various amazing things that happened at the concert. Gerard was almost messianic (holy fucking charisma), Mikeyway was smoking hot, Ray and Bob were magnificent, Frank was not terribly frenetic but still rocked out, and while I could not see Dewees well at all, his solo towards the end floored me. There were hugs, and dreams-come-true, and wacky hijinks (the wave, and Gerard picking Mikey up mid-song, still playing his bass). They played just about every song I especially wished to hear. Gerard promised us a new album, and then gave us a heart attack with his last few words: "if we never play another show, keep yourselves alive." (I'm not actually worried, and I don't think that's the point anyway, but still.)
Gerard Way is every bit the frontman I'd been led to believe; he was electrifying. I tried to watch the rest of the band, but mostly, my eyes were glued. Testify, he said. Let me hear you. Get your hands in the air. Fuckers! And we did. And I don't know if it was just me (I doubt it), but I wanted to be able to do it ten times over every time.
I think there were fewer wacky hijinks than usual, because in many ways this was a pretty serious show: it was the end of two years of touring, it was a dream being realized, and it was, as olivia_circe put it, About The Music. Gerard (I definitely blame Gerard) really wanted us to feel the epic quality of it, and the sadness; as sweetvalleyslut pointed out, he chose his last few songs with care. I felt so broken after, so desperate for it not to be over. A good concert will generally take me out of myself for awhile, but I've never felt myself slam back into reality quite so painfully, after.
The night wasn't over after that; the three of us wound up sitting on the sidewalk outside the band's bus until about two in the morning, along with a large group of fangirls, joking and squeeing and generally having a fabulous time. It helped to get out of my own head for awhile.
No, I'm definitely not capable of explaining why the experience was so profound. jjtaylor does a fantastic job here. I've seen other great posts, but I think that's the one I identified with the most strongly. She's much better at describing Gerard than I am.
I've already talked a bit about the effect this fandom has on me; that I have so much more inspiration and energy now. Sad though I am that My Chemical Romance has gone away for awhile, I am left with the latter part of Gerard's goodbye: "keep yourselves alive." I've seen this echoed through the journals of some of the other lovely fangirls I know, and the fact that he can make those words work like that really speaks for itself.
My Chemical Romance and Gerard Way set out to "save lives," and I remember being completely incapable of taking that sentiment seriously. These days, I interpret it a little differently, for myself: I'm left with the inspiration to create things of my own, to get back to really living my life instead of just drifting along. (It's pretty clear that I'm not the only one who feels this way! I keep finding it in other peoples' posts. Fangirls. <3) I can't say I'm unafraid, but fucking hell, I'm going to do it. I have stories to tell in words and pictures; and hey, that's something Gerard and I have in common.
(I will miss MCR so much for the next two years, or however long their break actually is. I just found them. But I am so excited to see more of Gerard's other work, which I actually came to first. I realize that I am actually his fan, before I'm their fan, though I'm certainly both.)
As for the Honda Civic Tour concert on Sunday . . . it was a much more light-hearted affair. I really needed that, to get myself back a little bit, because no amount of inspiration is useful if you're too maudlin to do anything with it. I really enjoyed Phantom Planet, and Panic were every bit as adorable as described. Ryan is kind of adorably stiff and . . . deliberate, somehow, in person. (I was sitting right in front of him, so I had a lot of chance to observe.) Spencer and Brendon were both full of glee (Brendon was all over the stage with it), and John Walker rocked it in his bare feet. I have no idea what the Star Wars action figures were about.
It was a little weird to be alone in the second row, surrounded by screaming girls who all had to be under 15 (I swear the ones behind me couldn't have been older than 12), but it was more than worth attending, and I got some lovely fangirlish squee in between sets.
Of course, for me, the night was all about the Hushies; I still have stars in my eyes. Greta. She literally glows, I swear. Ordinarily, I am far too shy to dance around and really rock out if it's just me, but I didn't give a damn. The stupid teenies all around me stayed sitting the entire time, but I grooved and sang to every song, all by myself. Well, Greta knows I love her, now. (I hope I didn't look too creepy, staring at her so raptly. I tried not to.)
The boys were incredible too. Darren, oh man. Chris is tiny and adorable, and Bob! Bob came over during "Honey" and put his foot on the keyboard, and at other points he jumped up on the drums or sang into Chris' mike. I love them all, and I am buying myself a ticket for their Cambridge show the second they go on sale on Friday. Perhaps I will see the internet there.
Okay, that was still a bit scattered, but it's probably the best I can do. I should go and try to earn my wages a little bit, I suppose. There should be fanart from me soon, though. Also, I really need to try and be less of a lurker in general. I love this fandom, and I met some really fabulous people this weekend, albeit briefly. I'd like to be more of a part of it all.
I mean, one of the most amazing things about these experiences has been the people I've had to share them with. sweetvalleyslut, who was with me through almost every minute of the entire thing, who is totally fucking responsible for my being there (and still the best best friend ever for taking all that whiplash in her stride), who held on and swayed with me through some of the saddest moments of the MSG concert. olivia_circe, who came such a fucking far distance, who dazzles me with her meta and makes me salivate with her fic ideas, who texted feverishly with me when I was alone at the HCT. fuschia, who I have so missed sharing a fandom with so damn much. I love you guys. <3 <3 <3
I've totally dissolved into mush now, so I'll leave you with:
"Everything deserves a happy ending. Even if it's a story about the end of the world, you should find some way to end it with a dozen roses. Just throw a little sparkle all over it." - Gerard Way