Three ostriches, a medium-rare crowbar and a shag, please. Yes, I'd like some fries with that.
Well, results are out, i'm now officially a bum. Seriously - I'm not employed (quit my last job, remember?), and i'm not studying (I've graduated from high school, but university offers only get mailed out in mid-jan, so I wont actually be enrolled at adelaide uni till early february or so)... i'm a bum. Just not the homeless kind... speaking of homes, those of you who've been to my house would know that there's a brick flat-like structure in the backyard, at the end of driveway and parralel to the pool. Was an office/study once upon a time, so it has (still working) electricity and phone cabling. We use it to store all the crap we can't be bothered throwing out at council collection days. There's also a 2nd room at the back, which is also a crap storage room, but also a tool shed room... thing. But I digress... Aliya and I are gonna clean it out, and then i'm gonna move into it, and it shall be my shag pad. I'm pretty chuffed, as kimi would say. Major chuffage, actually. Now I just need to remember my paypal account, get an ebay account, and get a fan + tv + dvd/vcr + telephone + various other crap. Tables and bed i'll carry out from my room. Then the computers (well, computer, as the 2nd one still hasn't been repaired after exploding) can be moved into where is now my room, and then I can leave my downloads overnight. The pc has 4 cooling fans in it, so it wakes my parents up at 2am and they come and switch it off. NOES! My prescious, prescious downloads... My download limit has been reset, yesterday as a matter of fact. By this time tomorrow, I'll have burned up about 7 of my 10gb monthly limit. I DIGRESS! AGAIN! IT WILL NOW BE MY NEW SUPERHERO POWER, AND I SHALL BE DIGRESSOR AND VILLIANS SHALL BE SO CONFUSED BY MY RAMBLING THEY'LL SURRENDER SO THEIR BRAINS DO NOT EXPLODE!!!
Yes, quite, where was I?
Ah, right, so I'm moving into the flat thing. Cieling needs repairs though, as does the door. Locks need to be replaced, as we dont have any clue where the keys to it are. There shall be only one set of keys, and I shall guard them with my life. My own life, of course, I shall guard with the lives of my minions. Damn, I knew there was something I forgot
*note to self: get minions.*
My useless neighbours can be my pseudo-minions for the moment, as far as expendible people are concerned. Pesudo-minions. I should name my band that. What? Of course I dont have a band, what the hell gave you that idea? Actually, the other thing i'll buy on ebay is a nice cheap guitar, and start learning to play. perhaps i'll borrow Aliya's in the meantime, since she doesn't play it anymore. W00T for guitarage. I think I also have a vague idea of where my keyboard is, I'll drag that in there too.
On the topic of dragging things in there, I pose to you all this little challenge:
In your comment, tell me one essential item my shag pad cannot exist without. Be creative, basic furniture like beds doesn't count. Lol, Aliya wants to take me rug shopping for it already :P
Yes, tell me: What does my new shag pad need? Why does it need it? The winner gets ummm....uhmmm... PRESTIGE! Yes, right, the PRESTIGE of their item being present in my new lair.
Anywho, If/When I do move in there, we'll have a guest room (either the one i'm sitting in now or i'll convert the tool shed (It's actually big enough for a small guest room, just needs a large rug and something to crash on - we've got spare mattresses leaning against a wall in there, it's all good) so now people done have to sleep on the couch. While sleeping on couches after a party is an ancient tradition (descended from time of the Mao dynasty of ancient china and pioneered by confuscious himself), I think it's better to wake up without cramps, yes?
Note to future crashers: If you and your significant other are both crashing at my house, you will be placed in different rooms. There is to be no shagging at my shag pad unless I am involved (or not present on the property). Bearing this in mind, female bisexual couples are excluded from this prohibition - encouraged to ignore it, even.
So that's what's going on at my house.
**********OMFG TEH FLASHBACKS!!!!******************
So yesterday I drive to Aliya's (no, I haven't fixed my car, I'm driving dads... Did I mention I fucked my car?) to pick up my sunglasses. We end up going to brighton beach for a while... mmmm, good beach. Many rocks though - the tide was going out. Foolish Obscu did not take his sandals along. The sand was nice and cool, so I didn't mind. We swam for a while... I think we were there for a couple of hours. Aliya found a dildo randomly lying where the water met the sand. Much hilarity and photographing ensued - No, we're not actually that childish. In fact, I was rather impressed by the way in which we enlarged this single isolated incident into a breathtaking tale of one dildo's valiant struggle against adversity. Or something. Perhaps someone tried to send a message out to see but didn't have a bottle?
So, we swam for a while and talk and were almost eaten by the sea... as you do when you go to the beach. Lying on the beach was really rather nice. Today may have been english/victorian weather (i LOVE lightning!!!!), yesterday was hawaiian weather... more or less perfect for a day at the beach, and lying on the beach. Walking back to the car was not at all fun. Remember Obscu's neglect of sandals? Aliya, imperious in her queenly thongs glided serenly ahead of me while I walked through the now sun-heated sand, across the sun-heated bitumen and through the sun-heated different sand with spikey dead grass. She's so mean! I couldn't even threaten to leave her behind because my car keys were in my shirt, and my shirt was in her bag, and her bag was floating across the terrain without a care in the world. Arrogant piece of luggage. One (more) thing I love about Aliya is that she drives like me, so I dont have to "behave" behind the wheel. For this reason, it took us 12 minutes and 42 seconds to return to my house, rather than the customary half hour. Much refreshing softdrink was consumed, and we went into what is now going to be my shag pad and explored the crap piles. There's actually lots of cool stuff in there, and I think there's a couch buried under it all somewhere. Aliya climbed to the top of one of the piles (the one presumably covering a couch) and I swear she looked like she needed a flag to plant. It was a climb in the very real sense of the word.
Parents exist for scabbing money off of, so Aliya and I went to hungry jack's down the road, where I earned a bruise for paying for her... hehehe, her evil glares are so adoreable.
*yawn* back to my place to discover her mother had showed up to hang around with my mother and they were gossiping in the kitchen over coffee (as mothers do). Oh well. Not a lot more to tell... mostly talking about careers and our futures and the direction of the rest of our lives... little insignificant things like that. Then more shag paddage, then I drove her home. I almost forgot to actually get my sunglasses, which was originally the purpose of my visit.
Upon returning home, I discovered something unbelievable. Something i'd never encountered or experienced before in my entire life. Something so unexpected that the pope would forget to pretend he believes in god if only he knew...
...
...
...
I was sunburned.
*pauses for the customary gasps of disbelief*
Thing is, I dont burn. EVER. I've not worn sunscreen in years, simply because it's overkill. I dont burn, I barely tan. People go to queensland for a week, stocked up on sunscreen, and come back with a tan. I went to queensland for two weeks which I spent topless and screen-less and came back with all sorts of things (photos, souvenirs, etc), but not tan. 'Twas dissapointing. I did however see the most awesome sunrise ever while i was there. I'm pretty sure i've posted about it before. It was almost PERFECT (the only thing lacking were, of course, pirates). Wait... I was there! YARRRRR, then thar s'nrise was indeed PERRRRRRFECT, matey, arrrrr! Where didst me wooden spleen go? (Yes, didst. This pirate secretly reads shakespeare between making land lubbers walk planks of various lengths and plundering coastal monastaries).
So, I've always ignored warning about burning, flouted my unburnable self, challenged karma, even! Now, it appears to have replied, and burned me.
I wonder if all the stupid things that should logically end in my gruesome death but from which i escape without a single scratch that i get off on (adrenaline *drool*) will actually wind up killing me one of these days... Only one way to find out... stay tuned for further updates on the topic (or, y'know, not, depending on how things go)
I REGRET NOTHING! I HAVE LIVED AS OTHER MEN ONLY DARE TO DREAM!
--Obscu, because the dolphin-sheep hybrids are watching us and plotting their gruesome revenge
Yes, quite, where was I?
Ah, right, so I'm moving into the flat thing. Cieling needs repairs though, as does the door. Locks need to be replaced, as we dont have any clue where the keys to it are. There shall be only one set of keys, and I shall guard them with my life. My own life, of course, I shall guard with the lives of my minions. Damn, I knew there was something I forgot
*note to self: get minions.*
My useless neighbours can be my pseudo-minions for the moment, as far as expendible people are concerned. Pesudo-minions. I should name my band that. What? Of course I dont have a band, what the hell gave you that idea? Actually, the other thing i'll buy on ebay is a nice cheap guitar, and start learning to play. perhaps i'll borrow Aliya's in the meantime, since she doesn't play it anymore. W00T for guitarage. I think I also have a vague idea of where my keyboard is, I'll drag that in there too.
On the topic of dragging things in there, I pose to you all this little challenge:
In your comment, tell me one essential item my shag pad cannot exist without. Be creative, basic furniture like beds doesn't count. Lol, Aliya wants to take me rug shopping for it already :P
Yes, tell me: What does my new shag pad need? Why does it need it? The winner gets ummm....uhmmm... PRESTIGE! Yes, right, the PRESTIGE of their item being present in my new lair.
Anywho, If/When I do move in there, we'll have a guest room (either the one i'm sitting in now or i'll convert the tool shed (It's actually big enough for a small guest room, just needs a large rug and something to crash on - we've got spare mattresses leaning against a wall in there, it's all good) so now people done have to sleep on the couch. While sleeping on couches after a party is an ancient tradition (descended from time of the Mao dynasty of ancient china and pioneered by confuscious himself), I think it's better to wake up without cramps, yes?
Note to future crashers: If you and your significant other are both crashing at my house, you will be placed in different rooms. There is to be no shagging at my shag pad unless I am involved (or not present on the property). Bearing this in mind, female bisexual couples are excluded from this prohibition - encouraged to ignore it, even.
So that's what's going on at my house.
**********OMFG TEH FLASHBACKS!!!!******************
So yesterday I drive to Aliya's (no, I haven't fixed my car, I'm driving dads... Did I mention I fucked my car?) to pick up my sunglasses. We end up going to brighton beach for a while... mmmm, good beach. Many rocks though - the tide was going out. Foolish Obscu did not take his sandals along. The sand was nice and cool, so I didn't mind. We swam for a while... I think we were there for a couple of hours. Aliya found a dildo randomly lying where the water met the sand. Much hilarity and photographing ensued - No, we're not actually that childish. In fact, I was rather impressed by the way in which we enlarged this single isolated incident into a breathtaking tale of one dildo's valiant struggle against adversity. Or something. Perhaps someone tried to send a message out to see but didn't have a bottle?
So, we swam for a while and talk and were almost eaten by the sea... as you do when you go to the beach. Lying on the beach was really rather nice. Today may have been english/victorian weather (i LOVE lightning!!!!), yesterday was hawaiian weather... more or less perfect for a day at the beach, and lying on the beach. Walking back to the car was not at all fun. Remember Obscu's neglect of sandals? Aliya, imperious in her queenly thongs glided serenly ahead of me while I walked through the now sun-heated sand, across the sun-heated bitumen and through the sun-heated different sand with spikey dead grass. She's so mean! I couldn't even threaten to leave her behind because my car keys were in my shirt, and my shirt was in her bag, and her bag was floating across the terrain without a care in the world. Arrogant piece of luggage. One (more) thing I love about Aliya is that she drives like me, so I dont have to "behave" behind the wheel. For this reason, it took us 12 minutes and 42 seconds to return to my house, rather than the customary half hour. Much refreshing softdrink was consumed, and we went into what is now going to be my shag pad and explored the crap piles. There's actually lots of cool stuff in there, and I think there's a couch buried under it all somewhere. Aliya climbed to the top of one of the piles (the one presumably covering a couch) and I swear she looked like she needed a flag to plant. It was a climb in the very real sense of the word.
Parents exist for scabbing money off of, so Aliya and I went to hungry jack's down the road, where I earned a bruise for paying for her... hehehe, her evil glares are so adoreable.
*yawn* back to my place to discover her mother had showed up to hang around with my mother and they were gossiping in the kitchen over coffee (as mothers do). Oh well. Not a lot more to tell... mostly talking about careers and our futures and the direction of the rest of our lives... little insignificant things like that. Then more shag paddage, then I drove her home. I almost forgot to actually get my sunglasses, which was originally the purpose of my visit.
Upon returning home, I discovered something unbelievable. Something i'd never encountered or experienced before in my entire life. Something so unexpected that the pope would forget to pretend he believes in god if only he knew...
...
...
...
I was sunburned.
*pauses for the customary gasps of disbelief*
Thing is, I dont burn. EVER. I've not worn sunscreen in years, simply because it's overkill. I dont burn, I barely tan. People go to queensland for a week, stocked up on sunscreen, and come back with a tan. I went to queensland for two weeks which I spent topless and screen-less and came back with all sorts of things (photos, souvenirs, etc), but not tan. 'Twas dissapointing. I did however see the most awesome sunrise ever while i was there. I'm pretty sure i've posted about it before. It was almost PERFECT (the only thing lacking were, of course, pirates). Wait... I was there! YARRRRR, then thar s'nrise was indeed PERRRRRRFECT, matey, arrrrr! Where didst me wooden spleen go? (Yes, didst. This pirate secretly reads shakespeare between making land lubbers walk planks of various lengths and plundering coastal monastaries).
So, I've always ignored warning about burning, flouted my unburnable self, challenged karma, even! Now, it appears to have replied, and burned me.
I wonder if all the stupid things that should logically end in my gruesome death but from which i escape without a single scratch that i get off on (adrenaline *drool*) will actually wind up killing me one of these days... Only one way to find out... stay tuned for further updates on the topic (or, y'know, not, depending on how things go)
I REGRET NOTHING! I HAVE LIVED AS OTHER MEN ONLY DARE TO DREAM!
--Obscu, because the dolphin-sheep hybrids are watching us and plotting their gruesome revenge