Everyone Experiments in College - 1/?
Reita had his nose buried in porn. Gay porn. As per usual.
He was just about to lie back, undo his jeans, and get “comfy”, when there was a distinct knock on his door. Reita scrambled around in an attempt to hide the magazine and his disheveled appearance from his friends, despite the fact that they knew full well what he did when left to his own devices.
“Uh… come in.” Reita said.
The man that walked into Reita’s humble dorm room was neither his bossy friend Ruki, his perverted friend Kai, nor his clueless friend Uruha. Instead, a slim, dark-haired guy with a relaxed look about him sauntered through the doorway.
“Reita right?” the stranger asked with a half-smile.
Reita tried unsuccessfully not to choke on his own saliva. “Y-yea. That’s me.” He half-spoke, half-coughed. Holy shit, he’s fucking hot! Like stripper hot. Wait… did Ruki get me a stripper again?
Attractive-enough-to-be-a-stripper-guy extended his hand to the befuddled blonde. “I’m Aoi. I guess we’re roommates.”
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“So what if you have a roommate? What’s the big deal? Everyone has one.” Ruki scoffed from the seat next to Reita, neither of them even trying to pay attention to the professor’s monotonous lecturing.
“You don’t,” Reita replied, purposefully moving his pen back and forth to resemble the act of taking notes.
“Everyone normal has a roommate,” Kai explained calmly from Reita’s other side. He wasn’t paying attention either, finding it much more interesting to subtly tickle Uruha who was sitting not so much next to him as half on top of him.
“Having a roommate that’s actually the boyfriend you fuck so loudly that the whole hallway knows who “Daddy” is does not count as normal.” Reita replied with a suitable amount of defiant pride.
Uruha gasped loudly enough for the whole class to stop and stare at him. Completely oblivious, he all but leapt off of Kai and turned to face him with his hands on his hips and an indignant glare on his face. “Kai!” He shouted. The professor stopped attempting to teach and instead joined the students in gawking at the unfolding drama. “You promised no one would be able to hear us!”
Kai, ever the smooth talker, smiled warmly up at his comically furious boyfriend. “Now, baby, there’s no reason to get upset. Every couple has pet names for each other.”
Ruki snorted. “I don’t think it’s a pet name if he only uses it when you spank him.”
Kai whipped his head around to pierce Ruki with his forceful stare. “You have no proof of that.”
“Oh really, Daddy?” Ruki geared up. “Cause I’m pretty sure last time I saw Uruha’s tight little butt in the shower it had a big red handprint on it. Oh, give it to me, Daddy!”
Uruha erupted in a sound that combined the roar of a lion, the hiss of a cat, and the sqwuak of a pigeon before turning in a whirl of blonde hair and flailing limbs and storming out of the classroom.
Kai leaned back in his seat, unbothered by the dozens of eyes gawking at him. He sighed and glanced at his two conniving friends. “Well played.”
~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~
“This really sucks, you know.” Reita pouted as he and Kai walked back from class, having left Ruki to flirt inappropriately with the teacher’s assistant whom he referred to lovingly as The Hand Guy. Why The Hand Guy? They try not to ask.
“I don’t understand what’s so unbelievably dreadful about having a roommate.” Kai replied, unruffled by his recent lovers’ spat. “It’s not like you couldn’t use another friend.”
“Friend?!?” Reita squeaked, panic raising his voice to an unmanly pitch for a brief second before he recovered. “I can’t be friends with him. I’d have to like… tell him stuff… and things… about stuff…”
“Hmm,” Kai mockingly tapped his finger to his chin. “Stuff and things about stuff. So… gayness and things about being gay, yes?”
“I’m not embarrassed or anything,” Reita stated defensively, noting Kai’s scoff. “Its just that he has to live with me and he might be, I don’t know, not okay with it, you know? Like he might think I like him or whatever just cause he’s a dude and I’m gay. Which is totally ridiculous.”
“Oh please,” Kai rolled his eyes. “I saw him moving his stuff in this morning and if you are not attracted to him, you’re straight. Very very straight. You might as well start wearing baggy clothes, grabbing women’s asses, and generally ignoring personal hygiene.”
“Alright, he’s kind of hot. Whatever.” Reita clumsily skirted past the subject. “But that’s not the point. I just don’t want to have a roommate. Especially a hot one. How the hell did Ruki get away with never having one?”
“Well, he really didn’t want one, probably because he needs privacy to do weird shit with weird people, so everytime the housing department assigned him a roommate he’d try to drive them away by having sex near them. When that didn’t work, he had sex on them. When that didn’t work, he had sex with them. That guy would do just about anything to scare off a roommate.”
“Why would that scare them off? Some people would like that.” Reita paused. “I mean, not me, of course. Other people.”
Kai raised an eyebrow at his friend before answering. “From what I hear, Ruki is scary in bed. I don’t know why or how, and I don’t care to. But his freak-out-the-roommate technique has a success rate of 100%, so I can only assume whatever he does is illegal, amoral, and causes Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.”
~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~
Later that evening, Reita and Aoi were politely ignoring each other’s existence when Ruki came barreling into the room without so much as a knock.
Before Reita was able to open his mouth to warn Aoi about the hurricane that was careening towards them, Ruki started. “You will never believe what The Hand Guy said to me!”
“Aoi, Ruki. Ruki, Aoi.” Reita awkwardly made introductions that he was quite sure Ruki ignored. “What’s wrong now?”
“Well,” Ruki huffed as he plopped himself down intrusively on Aoi’s bed. “I had my full flirt on. I mean, I was clearly giving him the keys to the kingdom if you catch my drift. And this asshole has the nerve to try and tell me he’s not gay. Not gay! As if there is anyone at this school that isn’t gay. Idiot.”
Reita panicked. “Obviously everyone isn’t gay. I’m not gay!”
Ruki stopped abruptly in the middle of his rant to whip his head around towards Reita. “Since when?”
Reita was hell-bent on defending his non-gay masculinity in front of Aoi. “Since always! I love… vaginas. They’re awesome. Vaginas are the best.” Reita protested, well aware of how ridiculous he must sound.
Ruki was understandably unconvinced. “Uh-huh…”
“Yea, they’re so…” Shit, I don’t know anything about vaginas! When was the last time I even saw a vagina? Was it that Christmas when my cousin tried to hit on me? Why the hell did I see her vagina? I don’t remember playing “Doctor” with her. Dammit, this isn’t the time for incestual questions. I have to say something about vaginas that is most likely true so Aoi doesn’t figure out I’m gay! “… They’re so conveniently located.”
“Oh now that’s just weird.” Ruki gave up on Reita’s spastic lies and left the room, no doubt to go annoy Kai or Uruha.
Reita hung his head and tried to ignore Aoi’s confused stare.
Fuck me.
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Chapter 2 >>
A/N: I am literally sitting in class right now. Fic-writing is more fun than talking about phonics assessments. But then again, having my leg gnawed on by a rapid groundhog would be more fun than talking about phonics assessments too. I don’t know where I’m going with this fic, btw. Hopefully I’ll figure it out if I think it’s worth continuing.
Comments please!!!! :)