Drained
Why is it that you never realize your true feelings for someone until they're gone? When Josh was here and we lived together, almost everything about him pissed me off. But now that he's gone and in Florida, I miss him more than anything. I don't want him to ever be with anyone else besides me, but I know he's going to get involved with a girl in Florida. He even admitted that if he met a girl he was interested in, he would pursue it.
Ha.
And he says he loves me more than I love him. If that is so, then he wouldn't want to be with anyone but me. And let me tell you, if he does get involved with someone in Florida and then when he moves back here, there is no way in hell that we are going to ever get back together again. There is no way that I could be with him again knowing that he was with another.
I don't know what pisses me off most about him leaving. Well obviously it's the fact that he left his daughter up here in Ohio. I mean he already left Talia, and now he's left Makayla.
What a winner.
I'm now many different emotions I can't take it.
I'm pissed he left his daughter.
I'm pissed he left me.
I'm jealous he is just able to drop everything that should be important to him and move to Florida on the drop of a dime.
I'm jealous he gets to have fun in Florida with no responsibilities to worry about.
I'm worried he's going to meet another girl and f*ck her and date her.
I'm pissed that now I have to take care of Makayla without him.
Again, I'm SUPER pissed he could leave his daughter.
Mostly I'm just hurt. For Makayla and for myself. This sucks I'm reliving my childhood, but from a different angle. Not only was it hard the first time, now I get to do it all over again, and watch my daughter go through the same hurt and pain and confusion I had to go through and that right there pisses me off more than anyone could ever know.
Ha.
And he says he loves me more than I love him. If that is so, then he wouldn't want to be with anyone but me. And let me tell you, if he does get involved with someone in Florida and then when he moves back here, there is no way in hell that we are going to ever get back together again. There is no way that I could be with him again knowing that he was with another.
I don't know what pisses me off most about him leaving. Well obviously it's the fact that he left his daughter up here in Ohio. I mean he already left Talia, and now he's left Makayla.
What a winner.
I'm now many different emotions I can't take it.
I'm pissed he left his daughter.
I'm pissed he left me.
I'm jealous he is just able to drop everything that should be important to him and move to Florida on the drop of a dime.
I'm jealous he gets to have fun in Florida with no responsibilities to worry about.
I'm worried he's going to meet another girl and f*ck her and date her.
I'm pissed that now I have to take care of Makayla without him.
Again, I'm SUPER pissed he could leave his daughter.
Mostly I'm just hurt. For Makayla and for myself. This sucks I'm reliving my childhood, but from a different angle. Not only was it hard the first time, now I get to do it all over again, and watch my daughter go through the same hurt and pain and confusion I had to go through and that right there pisses me off more than anyone could ever know.