Hahaha spend AP Chem doing Chemistry? NEVER!
K, so I decided to do girls in Chemistry. I pretty much just have some really funny ideas. I came up with these during AP Chem today. Yesssss.
We have to start the reform from the top, the whole image of chem.
My suggestions:
Girls in the pictures always look decidedly nerdy. Unfortunately, most girls don't want to be nerdy. Ergo, we need to change the pictures. High end models, wearing designer clothes, etc. High heels are a must.
Make movies. You know the sexy librarian fantasy? Make it sexy chemistry girl. After all, Chemists do it on the table, periodically. (*giggles* YES)
Any other ideas?
We then need to reform RHS chem department.
My suggestions:
First the whole old, nerdy chem teacher thing needs to go. We need to bring in cute, fashionable right out of college women to teach chem. It doesn't matter if they're not as good, it's all about the image!
Introduce designer Chem wear. Goggles, aprons, bunsen burners. The whole bit. I mean, you could wear the school ones if you want, but you could get decked out in a Ralph Lauren lab apron! And, c'mon, how many people in this town would say no to that?
As far as changing looks, we need to change that chem room! Why so much white? We need more color, asap! Black for lab tables? Lame. I'm thinking pink and blue. Maybe some yellow. The hot plates are a hideous yellow! We need to fix that! Perhaps a more appealing deep green? With lovely swirls, of course. And that periodic table! How boring! Someone color that in!
Infiltrate Mr. RHS. Put chem boys in and make Chem part of the talent somehow. We'd have to choose the cutest and heck, even pretend that some guys want to be Chemists! And then highlight the face that the ratio can be as high as 7 guys for each girl. I mean, they're smart, do it on tables, always burning, mix well with others, explosive. :D
Any other ideas?
And, lastly, the course itself. We need to jazz it up.
My suggestions:
Right now, Chem can be boring for even the most enthusiastic chem students. This needs to change. Lectures are to be preformed in the style of ghetto rap. From the windows, to the wall, indeed. On more mellow days, some alternative rock can substitute. Some DMB, perhaps?
Encorporate girl things into lesson plans. Gas diffusion, for example, can easily lead to perfume testing. Stoichiometry can be related to make up application. (It needs to be even, not stand out :D) And so forth. Any suggestions as to how to girlify lesson plans would be uber appreciated.
Emphasize, again, how taking Chem leads to making out in broom closets. For example:
Girl(s) + ChemBoy7 (s) ----> Chem (aq) + GirlBoy7 (l)
Girls take chemistry with 7 boys. Both solid things. This yields Chemistry between a girl and boy (spritual, not easily defined = aqueous) and the girl now has 7 boys drooling over her (clearly liquid).
Any other ideas?
Heh, so most of the column is going to be silly, like that. Humor and all that jazz. And at the end, I'm going to promote the girls who do take sciences and that they're frickin kick ass. I may be biased on that though. My last line is going to be something like "But, seriously, aside from all that, who can refuse 7 guys?!"
:D I'm having fun with this.
We have to start the reform from the top, the whole image of chem.
My suggestions:
Girls in the pictures always look decidedly nerdy. Unfortunately, most girls don't want to be nerdy. Ergo, we need to change the pictures. High end models, wearing designer clothes, etc. High heels are a must.
Make movies. You know the sexy librarian fantasy? Make it sexy chemistry girl. After all, Chemists do it on the table, periodically. (*giggles* YES)
Any other ideas?
We then need to reform RHS chem department.
My suggestions:
First the whole old, nerdy chem teacher thing needs to go. We need to bring in cute, fashionable right out of college women to teach chem. It doesn't matter if they're not as good, it's all about the image!
Introduce designer Chem wear. Goggles, aprons, bunsen burners. The whole bit. I mean, you could wear the school ones if you want, but you could get decked out in a Ralph Lauren lab apron! And, c'mon, how many people in this town would say no to that?
As far as changing looks, we need to change that chem room! Why so much white? We need more color, asap! Black for lab tables? Lame. I'm thinking pink and blue. Maybe some yellow. The hot plates are a hideous yellow! We need to fix that! Perhaps a more appealing deep green? With lovely swirls, of course. And that periodic table! How boring! Someone color that in!
Infiltrate Mr. RHS. Put chem boys in and make Chem part of the talent somehow. We'd have to choose the cutest and heck, even pretend that some guys want to be Chemists! And then highlight the face that the ratio can be as high as 7 guys for each girl. I mean, they're smart, do it on tables, always burning, mix well with others, explosive. :D
Any other ideas?
And, lastly, the course itself. We need to jazz it up.
My suggestions:
Right now, Chem can be boring for even the most enthusiastic chem students. This needs to change. Lectures are to be preformed in the style of ghetto rap. From the windows, to the wall, indeed. On more mellow days, some alternative rock can substitute. Some DMB, perhaps?
Encorporate girl things into lesson plans. Gas diffusion, for example, can easily lead to perfume testing. Stoichiometry can be related to make up application. (It needs to be even, not stand out :D) And so forth. Any suggestions as to how to girlify lesson plans would be uber appreciated.
Emphasize, again, how taking Chem leads to making out in broom closets. For example:
Girl(s) + ChemBoy7 (s) ----> Chem (aq) + GirlBoy7 (l)
Girls take chemistry with 7 boys. Both solid things. This yields Chemistry between a girl and boy (spritual, not easily defined = aqueous) and the girl now has 7 boys drooling over her (clearly liquid).
Any other ideas?
Heh, so most of the column is going to be silly, like that. Humor and all that jazz. And at the end, I'm going to promote the girls who do take sciences and that they're frickin kick ass. I may be biased on that though. My last line is going to be something like "But, seriously, aside from all that, who can refuse 7 guys?!"
:D I'm having fun with this.