Burlesque
Title: Burlesque
Author: orishimeinoue
Movie Adapted: Burlesque (2010)
Genre: Romance, Angst
Characters/Pairings: Reita/Ruki
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5,477
Warnings: mentioned m/m sex
Disclaimer: I own nothing =_=
I slump into a chair in this dusty old room, feeling like absolute crap. I work in this shithole, this lousy excuse for a bar, although I don’t know why. It’s in the middle of nowhere, and there are hardly ever any customers. How did I end up here? Why is my life like this, doing nothing in the middle of nowhere? I had dreams, I had goals, but it turns out that reality is harsh, not at all like in my dreams where I’d become rich and famous easily.
I am nothing, I am no one. My life sucks in all ways possible; it’s been that way for years now. I wish I could do something to change this, but I don’t know how, or where to start. I don’t even have any money; my boss hasn’t paid me in over a month. If I don’t get paid, why am I still here? Thinking it over, it seems ridiculous to stay here and work in this shithole for nothing. I have to do something, now. I’m going to get away from this godforsaken dustbowl, go to a big city where I can find my purpose. I’m scared, but I know I can do it. This is my fate, I can feel it.
I get up and jump over the bar counter, raiding the cash register. By my calculations, my boss owes me $600, but all I can find as I scour the whole store is $450. Oh well, every little bit counts, right? Getting some of my money is better than getting none of it. I look around this dusty shithole for the last time, feeling my anticipation rise. Man, I am not going to miss this place at all! I dash out the door, leaving everything open, because no customers were coming, anyway.
“Ruki! Where are you going?” Amanda, my co-worker, grabs my arm, stopping me in my tracks. I smile at her and hug her tight, knowing that she’ll be the only thing I miss about this place. Over the years, she and I have become great friends. I wish she would come with me, but I know she won’t; she’s too attached to this town.
“It’s finally happening, I’m leaving this town! I’m going to go to a big city and make my way in this world, no more sitting around!” I squeal in happiness, jumping up and down with her as she congratulates me. She digs into her large pink purse and pulls out a wad of cash, pressing it into my right hand.
“Here, take this. Consider it as a gift, or if you won’t accept that, then as payment for how many times you’ve saved my ass over the years!” She hugs me one last time, saying goodbye and telling me how much she’ll miss me. I grin at her with tear-filled eyes, squeezing her hand. I’m missing her already, but I have to make the move, so I can finally be me and make my dreams come true.
In the town I come from, Amanda is my only friend. Almost everyone here are backwards hicks, they aren’t supportive of how I am. Most of them are homophobes, so when I came out of the closet, my family, and all of my friends except Amanda abandoned me. They wouldn’t talk to me; they wouldn’t even recognize my existence. It was really lonely at first, but I got used to it after a while. Why did I ever stand for being treated like that? I swear, I should have gotten out of this town three years ago.
I go home and grab only what I absolutely need, stuffing my clothes into a large duffel bag, leaving everything else. I look under my bed and pull out my secret savings that I’ve had just in case I ever got the balls to leave this town. I hug the case full of money to my chest, kissing it happily. This is the key to my freedom.
I buy a one-way bus ticket to Los Angeles, almost crying with happiness. This is it. I’m finally getting out! As the bus leaves the dust bowl of a town I’ve always known and hated, I look back one last time, knowing that I’ll never regret the decision to leave. There’s no turning back now, the only way to go is forward!
~~~~
I got myself a nice hotel room at an affordable rate, making sure that I won’t spend too much money. Now, I’m walking the streets with a newspaper in hand, looking for jobs for singers. That’s what I’ve always wanted to do, so I really hope I’ll luck out. No matter what, I can’t waste my time. I’ve come this far, I have to go all the way.
I search all day long, but there are no job openings. My previous optimism has now turned to despair. What will I do if I can’t find a job? I can’t go back to where I am from, that’s not an option. If I can’t get a job though, I’ll have no place to stay. I feel like I’m going to cry as I wander the streets aimlessly, the day turning into night.
I’m just about to turn back when my attention is attracted by neon lights. There’s a sign on a building near me, it says “Burlesque Lounge”. There’s a skimpily-clad girl hanging out on the fire escape, and the music pours through the doors. I don’t know why, but I’m drawn to this place. I walk in and take in the hazy smokiness of the lounge, surrounding me. Immediately, I am entranced by the dancers on stage. I want to do that, and I know I could!
I buy a ticket and enter the seating area, drifting over to lean against the bar, not bothering to find a seat. I follow every move the dancers make, trying to memorize it all to practice later. I am deep into my thoughts when a strong hand clasps onto my shoulder. I dazedly gaze at the source of the hand and end up recoiling, trying to hide a slight blush. A gorgeous, strong-looking, blonde man is staring down at me with questioning eyes from behind the bar counter.
“Hey, what brings a guy like you to this type of place?” He stares deeply into my eyes, as if to read my entire soul. His blonde hair is styled into a mohawk, his bangs falling over his dark brown eyes. He seems to emit a manly aura as he turns around, flexing his biceps as he makes a drink. He looks over his shoulder at me, waiting for my answer, catching me staring at him. I blush and quickly look down, fumbling with my hands.
“Ummm…I want to be up there.” I point to the stage where girls are still dancing in skimpy clothing. He looks up at the stage and then smiles back down at me, chuckling a little bit. “What are you laughing at?? At least I don’t hide my nose behind a piece of cloth!” I turn sharply away from him and push off the bar counter, but his strong hand clasps around my arm, barring me from leaving. He pulls me in as close as possible, leaning his face toward mine. I blush and try to move back, but he won’t let you. He kisses my cheek quickly, making me gasp, my blush deepening.
“I wasn’t making fun of you. Actually, I think it’s really cute. I don’t know if they’re looking for any new dancers, but you can try. Go ask Asagi, he’s the owner. I’m sure he’ll like you, after all, he has good taste.” He runs his hand softly along my arm, winking at me. “Oh, by the way, I’m Reita. Good luck!” He turns me around and pushes me in the direction of the back room. I look over my shoulder at him quickly, shouting, “I’m Ruki!”, over the music. He blows me a kiss, winking at me again. I s=hurry towards the back room, feeling butterflies dance in my stomach. I’ve only just met him, but there’s just something about him…
I delve into the chaos of the back room, trying to find someone to ask about Asagi. I am out of luck, though, because everyone is rushing around, screaming for this article of clothing or that piece of jewelry. I don’t know what to do, so I push my way past everyone, shouting “Asagi! Asagi?!”. Eventually, my calls work. A beautiful older man with long silken ebony hair comes up to me, sighing in exasperation
.
“Alright, Alright! What is it that you want? ……and who are you??” He looks down at me with a little bit of condescension, grumbling under his breath about not having enough time for this. I bravely look him square in the eye and state that I would like to be a dancer. His eyes widen in shock as he muffles his laughter, looking me up and down. “You? And what makes you think that a scrawny little man like you could join in my burlesque show? You know, we do have quite a good reputation!” I puff my chest out and glare confidently into his eyes, making sure he knows that I’m serious.
“I know I can do it. I can dance really well, I’m sure you wouldn’t regret hiring me.” He just laughs at me, making my blood boil. “What makes you so high and mighty, huh?? Are you going to give me a chance or not? Because if not, I’m not going to waste my time in this hole with a bastard like you!” I turn on my heel and stalk out, only to be followed close behind by none but Asagi.
“Wait! I’ve decided that I’ll give you a chance! I like your confidence, your charisma. No one has ever spoken to me like that…and I kind of like your guts. I’m really going out on a limb here for you, so make sure not to disappoint me! You’ll have lessons every day at 5, the club opens at 7. I’m going to put you out on stage tomorrow, so you better learn fast!” He smiles cockily at me over his shoulder as he walks away, going to deal with a missing high heel.
I can’t believe it! Did that really just happen?? My mind races in awe as I run out into the seating area, squealing in joy. I got the job. I run behind the bar counter and jump into Reita’s arms, screaming in excitement. He picks me up, laughing as I cling to him. He takes me to an open apace and swings me around, beginning to dance with me. I swing my hips to the beat of the music, grinding against him with my arms in the air.
The rest of that night flies by in a multicolored blur. I dance with Reita for a long time. We sit down and talk, and he makes me drinks for free. I laugh and laugh at his endless jokes, not remembering the last time I’d had this much fun. I just met him, but I trust him so much already. I tell him about my past, and he rubs my back in sympathy, saying how strong I am and how he’s glad I ended up here. He’s different than any other guy I’ve ever met, there’s something special that connects me to him. I wonder…does he feel it too?
~~~~
I wake up in the morning, dazed and confused. Where am I? My head hurts like hell. Oh God, what’s that wetness on my face? It can’t be…did I drool in my sleep?? “Eww!” I squeal, sitting upright on my…rather human-feeling mattress. I look down in confusion, and fall onto the ground in shock. Reita?? I look up to where he is still sleeping soundly on a beat up mattress, and my eyes widen. Did I…did we…? No! Can’t be!
I pace the small, cluttered apartment, which must belong to Reita. What happened last night? We were talking at the club…and then I remember nothing more. I’m sure he wouldn’t take advantage of my intoxicated state, he doesn’t seem the type! Although…I just met him. Maybe he is the type to do something like that? I look down at where he lays, one leg thrown clumsily over the back of the couch, and sigh. I won’t know for sure until he wakes up. And even if we did…do it, would that really be so bad? No, I think I’d like it. I feel a deep blush over my cheeks as I dazedly stare out the window.
I think back to my home town, wondering if anyone had noticed that I was gone. Probably not. If they had noticed, they would just feel happy, not miss me. Back home, I had never had anyone that I loved. This is the first time I’m experiencing any budding feelings. I don’t even know if my feelings for Reita really are the beginnings of love. Maybe they’re just feelings of strong trust and friendship? This is all so new to me, but I’ll try my hardest for things to come out right!
Strong arms wind around my waist, I jump in surprise. “Good morning, beautiful. You know, you’re super cute in the morning. Your hair is sticking up in every direction…and your skin…it’s tinged a beautiful pink color, especially your lips and cheeks. When I woke up, the first thing I saw was you, your messy blonde hair in your face, your eyes dreamy, your lips parted absently. God, it makes me just want to snuggle you!” Reita’s chin rests on my shoulder, his mussed hair tickling my neck. I squirm a little, giggling at how cute he was being. He catches on to my ticklishness, his fingers quickly work on my sides, making me squeal loudly and break away from him, diving to the safety of the couch.
He follows right behind, squishing me against the cushions as he presses the full length of his body against mine. His hands clasp in mine as he brings his face down to rest on my heaving chest, listening to my frantic heartbeat. His deep manly scent envelopes me as he brings his fingers up to caress my cheek, his lips journeying up to mine, moving against them softly. I press myself against him, sinking into his warmth. I just want to be lost right here, right now, so I don’t have to go on and face the pain that the future will bring. I’m safe here, in his arms. This is the first time I’ve been embraced like this, and I want to remember it always.
Later, he drives me back to my hotel, not wanting me to waste my money on a taxi. He walks me up to my room. His warm hand encompasses mine, and I wonder what we are now. Are we still friends? Or are we…together?? I quickly glance over at him and blush. He is looking right back me with the same hopeful questioning in his eyes. I bump my shoulder against his as we get to my floor, smiling up at him. For some reason, he looks horrified.
“Ruki…isn’t that your room?” He points in front of me, and I turn to look. I gasp, dropping his hand and running in. The door has been smashed in, and as I look around, everything is in disarray. I’m surprised, but not much worried. I have nothing worth taking, that is, except…”My money!” I check my hiding spot, but it’s gone. All the money I’ve worked so hard to save up, gone in one night. I slide down against the wall, banging my head hard against the smooth wood just to feel the pain. What am I going to do? Without my money, I have nowhere to stay, no food to eat, nothing. I go to bang my head against the wall again, but am stopped by a strong hand as Reita crouches down and gathers me into his arms. He rocks me back and forth as tears flow down my face, assuring me that it would all be okay, and that I could stay at his place as long as I needed. I just buried my head in his neck, letting him take me away from the awful sight of my hotel room in shambles.
~~~~
“Hurry Ruki, we need you out there now!” Asagi yells as he rushes past me, quickly helping me zip up the back of my black lace, one-piece lingerie. I shove my feet in a frighteningly high pair of heels, and run directly on stage, just in time. The music starts and I swivel my hips slowly, beckoning to the crowd with a seductive smile. I throw my head back as if in ecstasy, my ruby red lips in a small “o”. I can see Reita through the dim lighting; he’s looking only at me, even though there are many others on the stage. I lip synch the words of the song convincingly as I dance, everything is going perfect. That is…until I slightly bump into another dancer. The beautiful…whoa, that’s a man?? The beautiful man glares at me with deep hatred, his plump red lips curling back in a snarl as his dark eyes burn into mine. He whips his head back around to face the crowd, his ebony hair almost whipping me in the face.
I don’t make one mistake, even though the beautiful, rude man keeps trying to push me. He’s obviously trying to intimidate me since I’m the new dancer, but I won’t let it work. I step directly in front of him, letting the spotlight that was meant to illuminate him land on me. I sway my hips the way he was supposed to, knowing that I’ll get punished later, but not caring. It feels amazing to be out here on stage, dancing in front of everyone…dancing in front of Reita. I blow him a kiss as I sashay into my place, performing the final steps in time with everyone else. The crowd cheers as we step off the stage, and I feel such a rush that I don’t see anyone approaching me.
“Hey, ugly! You think you can just come here and steal what’s mine? I’m bout to show you who’s top bitch here!” The beautiful man jumps on me from behind, tackling me to the ground. Before I can even think about what I’m doing, I grab his neck in a vise grip, flipping him below me. I pin him hard against the floor, sneering at him the same way he is sneering at me. He spits in my face, and I tighten my grip, making him gasp for breath as he writhes beneath me.
“Ruki! Aoi! Stop this now!” Asagi grabs my shoulders and pulls me off of Aoi, helping him up. Aoi gratefully hugs Asagi, but Asagi pulls away from his embrace. With a deep frown, Asagi slaps Aoi hard on the face. Aoi grips his face in shock, gasping at the sudden pain. He looks up at Asagi with hate, drawing back his arm to hit him. I grab his arm quickly before it can make contact. Asagi’s eyes widen as he realizes that Aoi, one of his workers, just tried to hit him. His face flushes in rage, his eyes filling with hate. “Aoi, I have done so much for you and you never pay me back! I saved you off the streets, and now you’re always coming in drunk and high, and picking fights with people! You’re just a hindrance to me! You need to leave now. Come back when you learn to control yourself. Your actions tonight disgust me. You should know better than to pick a fight with a new recruit.” Asagi turns around sharply and stalks away, leaving Aoi to slump back on the floor, crying at the loss of his job.
“You! This is all of your fault! I’ll get you back, I swear!” Just as Aoi yells this, Reita comes up behind me, encompassing me in his strong embrace.
“You don’t work here anymore; this area is for employees only. You should go, before security comes to escort you out.” Reita glares Aoi down, making tremble visibly. He sneers at me one last time before turning tail and running like a scared deer. I wonder, will he come through on his threat to get back at me?
Back at Reita’s house, I change into a pair of Reita’s pajamas, singing to myself as I pull on pants. Reita pokes his head in the room, making me squeal. "Reita, I’m changing!” I lightly slap his arms, trying to shove him out the door. Even though I use all of my strength, he says exactly where he is. He encircles me with his arms, pulling me right up against him. My bare chest rubs against the fabric of his shirt, and I can feel his pectorals under the thin fabric. I take in a deep breath, trying not to blush. I keep my head down, not daring to look up at him.
His hands softly touch me. Lower, lower, they caress my lovingly. I lean into the touch, closing my eyes as he brings his lips down to mine. He kisses me softly, lovingly. His hands come up to softly trace along my neck as he tilts my head to the side. “I just met you, but already I don’t want to live a day without you. There’s just something about you…something I need. Tell me why; please tell me why I always feel the need to be with you. I can’t go on if I am not with you. Do you think I’m crazy for this?” he kisses up and down my neck, waiting for my answer. My voice seems to be stuck in my throat, stopped up by pure emotion
.
“No, you’re not crazy. I can’t explain the feeling too well, but it’s exactly the same with me. I want you by my side, as long as you’ll have me. I want to be here with you here as we are now. All I want is you.” My voice trembles as he nibbles on my ear, pulling lightly at my piercings. I gasp as he whispers “I love you” right into my ear. My hands roam under his shirt, feeling his abs. He picks me up, kissing me as he carries me to his bedroom. He sets me down gently, looking nervously at me.
“Yes” I whisper, tugging at the hem of his shirt. He lets me slowly slide it up his stomach, revealing his smooth skin. I kneel on the bed as I embrace him, latching onto his nipple with my mouth, my hand playing with the other nipple. He inhales sharply at the pleasure, tilting his head back with a breathy moan. I pull his shirt off the rest of the way, rubbing the growing bulge in his jeans. He gently pushes me back on the bed, crawling on top of me and seizing my lips in a heated kiss. I give in to my feelings completely, letting go of my insecurities. Everything is perfect, just as I want it to be. Our pants are gone in a flash, and now, we’ll become one.
~~~~
Now that Aoi is fired, I am filling in the spot he vacates, which means I’m the lead role in many of the numbers. I stand just off of the stage, taking in a nervous breath. Reita hugs me from behind and kisses my cheek, telling me how great I’ll do. With one last “I love you”, I pull away from Reita and walk on stage with confidence I don’t have. I smile out at the audience as the music starts, twisting my body gracefully. I lip sync perfectly as I dance, knowing that I can do it. I know the spotlight is shinning right on me, and I know the audience is absolutely mesmerized. All of a sudden, the music stops. The two girls dancing with me stop dead, their mouths hanging open. Asagi announces about certain technical difficulties, and hordes of people start heading for the exit. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Asagi, grinning malignantly at me.
He thinks he’s won, but he hasn’t, not in the least. I step up to the front of the stage and belt out “I need a tough lover, yeah. I need a tough lover, whoa!” The audience stops dead at the sound of my voice, turning around to watch as I continue the song. I begin to dance again, gaining confidence as I belt out the song. The other two dancers join in, singing backup for me. Everyone sits back down, completely enraptured with my voice. Reita is staring at me with a proud smirk, suggestively looking me up and down, no doubt mentally undressing me. I wink at him and bend down, shaking my butt in the air seductively. It wasn’t in the choreography, but it was just the thing to really get Reita going. I finished off the number flawlessly, and the audience went wild as I retreated backstage.
Asagi bombarded me, hugging me tightly and kissing me on the cheek. “You just saved the show’s ass! My god, I’m so glad I hired you! From now on, you’re going to sing in your parts! Imagine, this will bring new customers to us!” He jumped up and down happily, squeezing me so hard, I almost couldn’t breathe. He runs past me, going to tell his boyfriend the good news. I sink into a nearby chair, completely exhausted. Reita slowly walks in, coming behind me to rub my shoulders softly as he congratulates me. I kiss him softly, melting into his embrace. In the back of my mind, Aoi’s sneering face lingers, chilling my core. Hopefully he will just leave me alone, but I have a creeping suspicion that he won’t rest until he’s really hurt me.
The next few days are just perfect…almost too perfect. The shows go amazingly well, always ending with a standing ovation. I’m bombarded with flowers and love confessions from fans, but that doesn’t mean much to me. What really means a lot to me is Reita. He’s always by my side, always looking out for me. I know that no matter what, he will protect me from Aoi. The nights we spend together are amazing, blazing with love. Maybe Aoi isn’t going to try to hurt me after all.
~~~~
I skip out of the bathroom, humming softly to myself. The show tonight was awesome, nd now it’s time to go home with Reita. I turn the corner into the bar area, and stop in my tracks. Reita…he’s kissing someone else. I press myself against the wall so they won’t see me. My heart feels like it’s tearing in two as I watch Aoi kiss Reita, the man I love. I should have known that everything with Reita was too good to be true. I had never been that close with anyone before, so what made me think that this would work out well. Reita writhes beneath Aoi, probably enjoying himself very much.
I can’t take it anymore; I dash out the door, slamming it behind me. “Ruki? Ruki! Wait!” Reita yells. I ignore him, running out into the dark, rainy night. I turn into an alley, throwing myself against the ground. I curl into the fetal position as I sob. I hear splashing footprints, Reita following after me. I keep absolutely silent and still, and he passes right by me, running with his head down against the rain. I banged my head against the nearest wall, watching as he disappeared into the grey night.
~~~~
It’s been four days, the worst four days of my life. I left everything at Reita’s, so I have no choice but to stay in what I had on. I sleep on a bench in a park, like any other homeless person. Some people that have passed by me have even given me money, which I use to get food. I’m sitting by a small pond, watching as the ducks swim peacefully, as if nothing bad will ever happen. Why couldn’t I have been born as a duck? To just float along on the water, feeling the breeze softly ruffle my feathers…I would love that. I sigh and lay down on the soft grass, closing my eyes against the bright sun.
“Oof!” I groan as a heavy weight is plopped on my chest. My eyes snap open as I search for the source of the weight. “A-Aoi??” I stammer, squirming beneath him. He has me pinned, and he knows it. With a grin, he wiggles around on top of me. He has no bad intent in his eyes, and he’s smiling apologetically. What’s all this about?
“Hey Ruki, I’m sorry. I made it look like your man was cheating on you when he really wasn’t. I heard you coming that night, so in my desperation for revenge, I grabbed Reita and kissed him. He didn’t kiss back at all, and he did try to pull away, but I wouldn’t let him get away, at least not until you’d had enough. I know what I did was devious and wrong, and I’m truly sorry. I’ve been trying to change myself the past few days, so I want to start fresh with you. Hello, my name is Aoi. Will you accept me, at least as an acquaintance for now? I would like to become friends, but I know it’ll take a while to gain your trust.” He smiles down at me and gets up, holding out his hand. I really do appreciate the gesture, so I take his hand with a smile, allowing him to help me up. I hug him, telling him that I was glad that we were going to be friends. He offers to drive me somewhere, but I politely decline, telling him that I would like to stay in the park for at least a few more days, to fully think things over. He leaves, promising to bring me clean clothes tomorrow. I smile and wave as his figure slowly blends into the scenery.
I lay back down on the grass, looking up at the bright blue sky. I should have let Reita catch up to me, let him explain himself. I feel really bad for not answering any of his calls for the past few days. He’s probably worried about me. I jump to my feet, taking my phone out of my pocket. I curse as I realize that it’s dead. Dammit, I’ll just have to walk all the way over there. I guess it’s my punishment for not giving him time to explain.
I stand in front of his door, knocking loudly. What am I going to say? Should I let him say sorry? Should I apologize first? I’m still musing over what to do when the door slams open and Reita quickly pulls me inside the house. Before I even know what’s going on, I’m pressed up against a wall, Reita grinding his body against mine. I gasp as he scrapes his teeth along my neck, stopping to kiss my jaw. He pulls me even closer, attacking my lips. I break away, gasping for breath. He rests his head on my neck, his hands holding onto my shoulders as if he’s afraid that I’ll run away.
“My god, I fucking missed you! I’m so sorry Ruki, please take me back. It was all a misunderstanding, I-“ I cut Reita off, Kissing him heatedly as I feel the smooth skin of his exposed back. I step back, stroking his cheek softly.
“I know, Aoi told me. It’s okay. I’m sorry too, for not giving you time to explain.” I squeeze his hand, smiling up into his eyes.
“Then we’re fine?” I nod in assent, my hands playing with the waistband of his sweatpants. “Thank god! I was going crazy without you! For that matter, so has Asagi! He’ll be thrilled to know that you’re back!” Reita goes to talk more, but I put my finger to his lips, making him stop. I wink at him, pulling on his hand, making him follow behind me. I push him down on the bed in his bedroom, immediately throwing myself right on top of him, my hands everywhere on his body. “It’s great to have you back, but you need to shower after we’re done.” Reita chuckles, ripping my shirt off and kissing my chest. Damn, I’m glad I’m back, too.
Author: orishimeinoue
Movie Adapted: Burlesque (2010)
Genre: Romance, Angst
Characters/Pairings: Reita/Ruki
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5,477
Warnings: mentioned m/m sex
Disclaimer: I own nothing =_=
I slump into a chair in this dusty old room, feeling like absolute crap. I work in this shithole, this lousy excuse for a bar, although I don’t know why. It’s in the middle of nowhere, and there are hardly ever any customers. How did I end up here? Why is my life like this, doing nothing in the middle of nowhere? I had dreams, I had goals, but it turns out that reality is harsh, not at all like in my dreams where I’d become rich and famous easily.
I am nothing, I am no one. My life sucks in all ways possible; it’s been that way for years now. I wish I could do something to change this, but I don’t know how, or where to start. I don’t even have any money; my boss hasn’t paid me in over a month. If I don’t get paid, why am I still here? Thinking it over, it seems ridiculous to stay here and work in this shithole for nothing. I have to do something, now. I’m going to get away from this godforsaken dustbowl, go to a big city where I can find my purpose. I’m scared, but I know I can do it. This is my fate, I can feel it.
I get up and jump over the bar counter, raiding the cash register. By my calculations, my boss owes me $600, but all I can find as I scour the whole store is $450. Oh well, every little bit counts, right? Getting some of my money is better than getting none of it. I look around this dusty shithole for the last time, feeling my anticipation rise. Man, I am not going to miss this place at all! I dash out the door, leaving everything open, because no customers were coming, anyway.
“Ruki! Where are you going?” Amanda, my co-worker, grabs my arm, stopping me in my tracks. I smile at her and hug her tight, knowing that she’ll be the only thing I miss about this place. Over the years, she and I have become great friends. I wish she would come with me, but I know she won’t; she’s too attached to this town.
“It’s finally happening, I’m leaving this town! I’m going to go to a big city and make my way in this world, no more sitting around!” I squeal in happiness, jumping up and down with her as she congratulates me. She digs into her large pink purse and pulls out a wad of cash, pressing it into my right hand.
“Here, take this. Consider it as a gift, or if you won’t accept that, then as payment for how many times you’ve saved my ass over the years!” She hugs me one last time, saying goodbye and telling me how much she’ll miss me. I grin at her with tear-filled eyes, squeezing her hand. I’m missing her already, but I have to make the move, so I can finally be me and make my dreams come true.
In the town I come from, Amanda is my only friend. Almost everyone here are backwards hicks, they aren’t supportive of how I am. Most of them are homophobes, so when I came out of the closet, my family, and all of my friends except Amanda abandoned me. They wouldn’t talk to me; they wouldn’t even recognize my existence. It was really lonely at first, but I got used to it after a while. Why did I ever stand for being treated like that? I swear, I should have gotten out of this town three years ago.
I go home and grab only what I absolutely need, stuffing my clothes into a large duffel bag, leaving everything else. I look under my bed and pull out my secret savings that I’ve had just in case I ever got the balls to leave this town. I hug the case full of money to my chest, kissing it happily. This is the key to my freedom.
I buy a one-way bus ticket to Los Angeles, almost crying with happiness. This is it. I’m finally getting out! As the bus leaves the dust bowl of a town I’ve always known and hated, I look back one last time, knowing that I’ll never regret the decision to leave. There’s no turning back now, the only way to go is forward!
~~~~
I got myself a nice hotel room at an affordable rate, making sure that I won’t spend too much money. Now, I’m walking the streets with a newspaper in hand, looking for jobs for singers. That’s what I’ve always wanted to do, so I really hope I’ll luck out. No matter what, I can’t waste my time. I’ve come this far, I have to go all the way.
I search all day long, but there are no job openings. My previous optimism has now turned to despair. What will I do if I can’t find a job? I can’t go back to where I am from, that’s not an option. If I can’t get a job though, I’ll have no place to stay. I feel like I’m going to cry as I wander the streets aimlessly, the day turning into night.
I’m just about to turn back when my attention is attracted by neon lights. There’s a sign on a building near me, it says “Burlesque Lounge”. There’s a skimpily-clad girl hanging out on the fire escape, and the music pours through the doors. I don’t know why, but I’m drawn to this place. I walk in and take in the hazy smokiness of the lounge, surrounding me. Immediately, I am entranced by the dancers on stage. I want to do that, and I know I could!
I buy a ticket and enter the seating area, drifting over to lean against the bar, not bothering to find a seat. I follow every move the dancers make, trying to memorize it all to practice later. I am deep into my thoughts when a strong hand clasps onto my shoulder. I dazedly gaze at the source of the hand and end up recoiling, trying to hide a slight blush. A gorgeous, strong-looking, blonde man is staring down at me with questioning eyes from behind the bar counter.
“Hey, what brings a guy like you to this type of place?” He stares deeply into my eyes, as if to read my entire soul. His blonde hair is styled into a mohawk, his bangs falling over his dark brown eyes. He seems to emit a manly aura as he turns around, flexing his biceps as he makes a drink. He looks over his shoulder at me, waiting for my answer, catching me staring at him. I blush and quickly look down, fumbling with my hands.
“Ummm…I want to be up there.” I point to the stage where girls are still dancing in skimpy clothing. He looks up at the stage and then smiles back down at me, chuckling a little bit. “What are you laughing at?? At least I don’t hide my nose behind a piece of cloth!” I turn sharply away from him and push off the bar counter, but his strong hand clasps around my arm, barring me from leaving. He pulls me in as close as possible, leaning his face toward mine. I blush and try to move back, but he won’t let you. He kisses my cheek quickly, making me gasp, my blush deepening.
“I wasn’t making fun of you. Actually, I think it’s really cute. I don’t know if they’re looking for any new dancers, but you can try. Go ask Asagi, he’s the owner. I’m sure he’ll like you, after all, he has good taste.” He runs his hand softly along my arm, winking at me. “Oh, by the way, I’m Reita. Good luck!” He turns me around and pushes me in the direction of the back room. I look over my shoulder at him quickly, shouting, “I’m Ruki!”, over the music. He blows me a kiss, winking at me again. I s=hurry towards the back room, feeling butterflies dance in my stomach. I’ve only just met him, but there’s just something about him…
I delve into the chaos of the back room, trying to find someone to ask about Asagi. I am out of luck, though, because everyone is rushing around, screaming for this article of clothing or that piece of jewelry. I don’t know what to do, so I push my way past everyone, shouting “Asagi! Asagi?!”. Eventually, my calls work. A beautiful older man with long silken ebony hair comes up to me, sighing in exasperation
.
“Alright, Alright! What is it that you want? ……and who are you??” He looks down at me with a little bit of condescension, grumbling under his breath about not having enough time for this. I bravely look him square in the eye and state that I would like to be a dancer. His eyes widen in shock as he muffles his laughter, looking me up and down. “You? And what makes you think that a scrawny little man like you could join in my burlesque show? You know, we do have quite a good reputation!” I puff my chest out and glare confidently into his eyes, making sure he knows that I’m serious.
“I know I can do it. I can dance really well, I’m sure you wouldn’t regret hiring me.” He just laughs at me, making my blood boil. “What makes you so high and mighty, huh?? Are you going to give me a chance or not? Because if not, I’m not going to waste my time in this hole with a bastard like you!” I turn on my heel and stalk out, only to be followed close behind by none but Asagi.
“Wait! I’ve decided that I’ll give you a chance! I like your confidence, your charisma. No one has ever spoken to me like that…and I kind of like your guts. I’m really going out on a limb here for you, so make sure not to disappoint me! You’ll have lessons every day at 5, the club opens at 7. I’m going to put you out on stage tomorrow, so you better learn fast!” He smiles cockily at me over his shoulder as he walks away, going to deal with a missing high heel.
I can’t believe it! Did that really just happen?? My mind races in awe as I run out into the seating area, squealing in joy. I got the job. I run behind the bar counter and jump into Reita’s arms, screaming in excitement. He picks me up, laughing as I cling to him. He takes me to an open apace and swings me around, beginning to dance with me. I swing my hips to the beat of the music, grinding against him with my arms in the air.
The rest of that night flies by in a multicolored blur. I dance with Reita for a long time. We sit down and talk, and he makes me drinks for free. I laugh and laugh at his endless jokes, not remembering the last time I’d had this much fun. I just met him, but I trust him so much already. I tell him about my past, and he rubs my back in sympathy, saying how strong I am and how he’s glad I ended up here. He’s different than any other guy I’ve ever met, there’s something special that connects me to him. I wonder…does he feel it too?
~~~~
I wake up in the morning, dazed and confused. Where am I? My head hurts like hell. Oh God, what’s that wetness on my face? It can’t be…did I drool in my sleep?? “Eww!” I squeal, sitting upright on my…rather human-feeling mattress. I look down in confusion, and fall onto the ground in shock. Reita?? I look up to where he is still sleeping soundly on a beat up mattress, and my eyes widen. Did I…did we…? No! Can’t be!
I pace the small, cluttered apartment, which must belong to Reita. What happened last night? We were talking at the club…and then I remember nothing more. I’m sure he wouldn’t take advantage of my intoxicated state, he doesn’t seem the type! Although…I just met him. Maybe he is the type to do something like that? I look down at where he lays, one leg thrown clumsily over the back of the couch, and sigh. I won’t know for sure until he wakes up. And even if we did…do it, would that really be so bad? No, I think I’d like it. I feel a deep blush over my cheeks as I dazedly stare out the window.
I think back to my home town, wondering if anyone had noticed that I was gone. Probably not. If they had noticed, they would just feel happy, not miss me. Back home, I had never had anyone that I loved. This is the first time I’m experiencing any budding feelings. I don’t even know if my feelings for Reita really are the beginnings of love. Maybe they’re just feelings of strong trust and friendship? This is all so new to me, but I’ll try my hardest for things to come out right!
Strong arms wind around my waist, I jump in surprise. “Good morning, beautiful. You know, you’re super cute in the morning. Your hair is sticking up in every direction…and your skin…it’s tinged a beautiful pink color, especially your lips and cheeks. When I woke up, the first thing I saw was you, your messy blonde hair in your face, your eyes dreamy, your lips parted absently. God, it makes me just want to snuggle you!” Reita’s chin rests on my shoulder, his mussed hair tickling my neck. I squirm a little, giggling at how cute he was being. He catches on to my ticklishness, his fingers quickly work on my sides, making me squeal loudly and break away from him, diving to the safety of the couch.
He follows right behind, squishing me against the cushions as he presses the full length of his body against mine. His hands clasp in mine as he brings his face down to rest on my heaving chest, listening to my frantic heartbeat. His deep manly scent envelopes me as he brings his fingers up to caress my cheek, his lips journeying up to mine, moving against them softly. I press myself against him, sinking into his warmth. I just want to be lost right here, right now, so I don’t have to go on and face the pain that the future will bring. I’m safe here, in his arms. This is the first time I’ve been embraced like this, and I want to remember it always.
Later, he drives me back to my hotel, not wanting me to waste my money on a taxi. He walks me up to my room. His warm hand encompasses mine, and I wonder what we are now. Are we still friends? Or are we…together?? I quickly glance over at him and blush. He is looking right back me with the same hopeful questioning in his eyes. I bump my shoulder against his as we get to my floor, smiling up at him. For some reason, he looks horrified.
“Ruki…isn’t that your room?” He points in front of me, and I turn to look. I gasp, dropping his hand and running in. The door has been smashed in, and as I look around, everything is in disarray. I’m surprised, but not much worried. I have nothing worth taking, that is, except…”My money!” I check my hiding spot, but it’s gone. All the money I’ve worked so hard to save up, gone in one night. I slide down against the wall, banging my head hard against the smooth wood just to feel the pain. What am I going to do? Without my money, I have nowhere to stay, no food to eat, nothing. I go to bang my head against the wall again, but am stopped by a strong hand as Reita crouches down and gathers me into his arms. He rocks me back and forth as tears flow down my face, assuring me that it would all be okay, and that I could stay at his place as long as I needed. I just buried my head in his neck, letting him take me away from the awful sight of my hotel room in shambles.
~~~~
“Hurry Ruki, we need you out there now!” Asagi yells as he rushes past me, quickly helping me zip up the back of my black lace, one-piece lingerie. I shove my feet in a frighteningly high pair of heels, and run directly on stage, just in time. The music starts and I swivel my hips slowly, beckoning to the crowd with a seductive smile. I throw my head back as if in ecstasy, my ruby red lips in a small “o”. I can see Reita through the dim lighting; he’s looking only at me, even though there are many others on the stage. I lip synch the words of the song convincingly as I dance, everything is going perfect. That is…until I slightly bump into another dancer. The beautiful…whoa, that’s a man?? The beautiful man glares at me with deep hatred, his plump red lips curling back in a snarl as his dark eyes burn into mine. He whips his head back around to face the crowd, his ebony hair almost whipping me in the face.
I don’t make one mistake, even though the beautiful, rude man keeps trying to push me. He’s obviously trying to intimidate me since I’m the new dancer, but I won’t let it work. I step directly in front of him, letting the spotlight that was meant to illuminate him land on me. I sway my hips the way he was supposed to, knowing that I’ll get punished later, but not caring. It feels amazing to be out here on stage, dancing in front of everyone…dancing in front of Reita. I blow him a kiss as I sashay into my place, performing the final steps in time with everyone else. The crowd cheers as we step off the stage, and I feel such a rush that I don’t see anyone approaching me.
“Hey, ugly! You think you can just come here and steal what’s mine? I’m bout to show you who’s top bitch here!” The beautiful man jumps on me from behind, tackling me to the ground. Before I can even think about what I’m doing, I grab his neck in a vise grip, flipping him below me. I pin him hard against the floor, sneering at him the same way he is sneering at me. He spits in my face, and I tighten my grip, making him gasp for breath as he writhes beneath me.
“Ruki! Aoi! Stop this now!” Asagi grabs my shoulders and pulls me off of Aoi, helping him up. Aoi gratefully hugs Asagi, but Asagi pulls away from his embrace. With a deep frown, Asagi slaps Aoi hard on the face. Aoi grips his face in shock, gasping at the sudden pain. He looks up at Asagi with hate, drawing back his arm to hit him. I grab his arm quickly before it can make contact. Asagi’s eyes widen as he realizes that Aoi, one of his workers, just tried to hit him. His face flushes in rage, his eyes filling with hate. “Aoi, I have done so much for you and you never pay me back! I saved you off the streets, and now you’re always coming in drunk and high, and picking fights with people! You’re just a hindrance to me! You need to leave now. Come back when you learn to control yourself. Your actions tonight disgust me. You should know better than to pick a fight with a new recruit.” Asagi turns around sharply and stalks away, leaving Aoi to slump back on the floor, crying at the loss of his job.
“You! This is all of your fault! I’ll get you back, I swear!” Just as Aoi yells this, Reita comes up behind me, encompassing me in his strong embrace.
“You don’t work here anymore; this area is for employees only. You should go, before security comes to escort you out.” Reita glares Aoi down, making tremble visibly. He sneers at me one last time before turning tail and running like a scared deer. I wonder, will he come through on his threat to get back at me?
Back at Reita’s house, I change into a pair of Reita’s pajamas, singing to myself as I pull on pants. Reita pokes his head in the room, making me squeal. "Reita, I’m changing!” I lightly slap his arms, trying to shove him out the door. Even though I use all of my strength, he says exactly where he is. He encircles me with his arms, pulling me right up against him. My bare chest rubs against the fabric of his shirt, and I can feel his pectorals under the thin fabric. I take in a deep breath, trying not to blush. I keep my head down, not daring to look up at him.
His hands softly touch me. Lower, lower, they caress my lovingly. I lean into the touch, closing my eyes as he brings his lips down to mine. He kisses me softly, lovingly. His hands come up to softly trace along my neck as he tilts my head to the side. “I just met you, but already I don’t want to live a day without you. There’s just something about you…something I need. Tell me why; please tell me why I always feel the need to be with you. I can’t go on if I am not with you. Do you think I’m crazy for this?” he kisses up and down my neck, waiting for my answer. My voice seems to be stuck in my throat, stopped up by pure emotion
.
“No, you’re not crazy. I can’t explain the feeling too well, but it’s exactly the same with me. I want you by my side, as long as you’ll have me. I want to be here with you here as we are now. All I want is you.” My voice trembles as he nibbles on my ear, pulling lightly at my piercings. I gasp as he whispers “I love you” right into my ear. My hands roam under his shirt, feeling his abs. He picks me up, kissing me as he carries me to his bedroom. He sets me down gently, looking nervously at me.
“Yes” I whisper, tugging at the hem of his shirt. He lets me slowly slide it up his stomach, revealing his smooth skin. I kneel on the bed as I embrace him, latching onto his nipple with my mouth, my hand playing with the other nipple. He inhales sharply at the pleasure, tilting his head back with a breathy moan. I pull his shirt off the rest of the way, rubbing the growing bulge in his jeans. He gently pushes me back on the bed, crawling on top of me and seizing my lips in a heated kiss. I give in to my feelings completely, letting go of my insecurities. Everything is perfect, just as I want it to be. Our pants are gone in a flash, and now, we’ll become one.
~~~~
Now that Aoi is fired, I am filling in the spot he vacates, which means I’m the lead role in many of the numbers. I stand just off of the stage, taking in a nervous breath. Reita hugs me from behind and kisses my cheek, telling me how great I’ll do. With one last “I love you”, I pull away from Reita and walk on stage with confidence I don’t have. I smile out at the audience as the music starts, twisting my body gracefully. I lip sync perfectly as I dance, knowing that I can do it. I know the spotlight is shinning right on me, and I know the audience is absolutely mesmerized. All of a sudden, the music stops. The two girls dancing with me stop dead, their mouths hanging open. Asagi announces about certain technical difficulties, and hordes of people start heading for the exit. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Asagi, grinning malignantly at me.
He thinks he’s won, but he hasn’t, not in the least. I step up to the front of the stage and belt out “I need a tough lover, yeah. I need a tough lover, whoa!” The audience stops dead at the sound of my voice, turning around to watch as I continue the song. I begin to dance again, gaining confidence as I belt out the song. The other two dancers join in, singing backup for me. Everyone sits back down, completely enraptured with my voice. Reita is staring at me with a proud smirk, suggestively looking me up and down, no doubt mentally undressing me. I wink at him and bend down, shaking my butt in the air seductively. It wasn’t in the choreography, but it was just the thing to really get Reita going. I finished off the number flawlessly, and the audience went wild as I retreated backstage.
Asagi bombarded me, hugging me tightly and kissing me on the cheek. “You just saved the show’s ass! My god, I’m so glad I hired you! From now on, you’re going to sing in your parts! Imagine, this will bring new customers to us!” He jumped up and down happily, squeezing me so hard, I almost couldn’t breathe. He runs past me, going to tell his boyfriend the good news. I sink into a nearby chair, completely exhausted. Reita slowly walks in, coming behind me to rub my shoulders softly as he congratulates me. I kiss him softly, melting into his embrace. In the back of my mind, Aoi’s sneering face lingers, chilling my core. Hopefully he will just leave me alone, but I have a creeping suspicion that he won’t rest until he’s really hurt me.
The next few days are just perfect…almost too perfect. The shows go amazingly well, always ending with a standing ovation. I’m bombarded with flowers and love confessions from fans, but that doesn’t mean much to me. What really means a lot to me is Reita. He’s always by my side, always looking out for me. I know that no matter what, he will protect me from Aoi. The nights we spend together are amazing, blazing with love. Maybe Aoi isn’t going to try to hurt me after all.
~~~~
I skip out of the bathroom, humming softly to myself. The show tonight was awesome, nd now it’s time to go home with Reita. I turn the corner into the bar area, and stop in my tracks. Reita…he’s kissing someone else. I press myself against the wall so they won’t see me. My heart feels like it’s tearing in two as I watch Aoi kiss Reita, the man I love. I should have known that everything with Reita was too good to be true. I had never been that close with anyone before, so what made me think that this would work out well. Reita writhes beneath Aoi, probably enjoying himself very much.
I can’t take it anymore; I dash out the door, slamming it behind me. “Ruki? Ruki! Wait!” Reita yells. I ignore him, running out into the dark, rainy night. I turn into an alley, throwing myself against the ground. I curl into the fetal position as I sob. I hear splashing footprints, Reita following after me. I keep absolutely silent and still, and he passes right by me, running with his head down against the rain. I banged my head against the nearest wall, watching as he disappeared into the grey night.
~~~~
It’s been four days, the worst four days of my life. I left everything at Reita’s, so I have no choice but to stay in what I had on. I sleep on a bench in a park, like any other homeless person. Some people that have passed by me have even given me money, which I use to get food. I’m sitting by a small pond, watching as the ducks swim peacefully, as if nothing bad will ever happen. Why couldn’t I have been born as a duck? To just float along on the water, feeling the breeze softly ruffle my feathers…I would love that. I sigh and lay down on the soft grass, closing my eyes against the bright sun.
“Oof!” I groan as a heavy weight is plopped on my chest. My eyes snap open as I search for the source of the weight. “A-Aoi??” I stammer, squirming beneath him. He has me pinned, and he knows it. With a grin, he wiggles around on top of me. He has no bad intent in his eyes, and he’s smiling apologetically. What’s all this about?
“Hey Ruki, I’m sorry. I made it look like your man was cheating on you when he really wasn’t. I heard you coming that night, so in my desperation for revenge, I grabbed Reita and kissed him. He didn’t kiss back at all, and he did try to pull away, but I wouldn’t let him get away, at least not until you’d had enough. I know what I did was devious and wrong, and I’m truly sorry. I’ve been trying to change myself the past few days, so I want to start fresh with you. Hello, my name is Aoi. Will you accept me, at least as an acquaintance for now? I would like to become friends, but I know it’ll take a while to gain your trust.” He smiles down at me and gets up, holding out his hand. I really do appreciate the gesture, so I take his hand with a smile, allowing him to help me up. I hug him, telling him that I was glad that we were going to be friends. He offers to drive me somewhere, but I politely decline, telling him that I would like to stay in the park for at least a few more days, to fully think things over. He leaves, promising to bring me clean clothes tomorrow. I smile and wave as his figure slowly blends into the scenery.
I lay back down on the grass, looking up at the bright blue sky. I should have let Reita catch up to me, let him explain himself. I feel really bad for not answering any of his calls for the past few days. He’s probably worried about me. I jump to my feet, taking my phone out of my pocket. I curse as I realize that it’s dead. Dammit, I’ll just have to walk all the way over there. I guess it’s my punishment for not giving him time to explain.
I stand in front of his door, knocking loudly. What am I going to say? Should I let him say sorry? Should I apologize first? I’m still musing over what to do when the door slams open and Reita quickly pulls me inside the house. Before I even know what’s going on, I’m pressed up against a wall, Reita grinding his body against mine. I gasp as he scrapes his teeth along my neck, stopping to kiss my jaw. He pulls me even closer, attacking my lips. I break away, gasping for breath. He rests his head on my neck, his hands holding onto my shoulders as if he’s afraid that I’ll run away.
“My god, I fucking missed you! I’m so sorry Ruki, please take me back. It was all a misunderstanding, I-“ I cut Reita off, Kissing him heatedly as I feel the smooth skin of his exposed back. I step back, stroking his cheek softly.
“I know, Aoi told me. It’s okay. I’m sorry too, for not giving you time to explain.” I squeeze his hand, smiling up into his eyes.
“Then we’re fine?” I nod in assent, my hands playing with the waistband of his sweatpants. “Thank god! I was going crazy without you! For that matter, so has Asagi! He’ll be thrilled to know that you’re back!” Reita goes to talk more, but I put my finger to his lips, making him stop. I wink at him, pulling on his hand, making him follow behind me. I push him down on the bed in his bedroom, immediately throwing myself right on top of him, my hands everywhere on his body. “It’s great to have you back, but you need to shower after we’re done.” Reita chuckles, ripping my shirt off and kissing my chest. Damn, I’m glad I’m back, too.