Eh. I'm a total affection whore. I'm flirtatious as hell with, mm, pretty much everyone I'm comfortable with. And I go moderately nuts if I don't get enough cuddling--there was a point where I really was starting to get literally twitchy and messed up in the head because I no longer cuddled with my parents but I had no on else to cuddle either.
We are social animals. We crave physical contact and physical comfort. Wire monkeys we are not... Really, the people who are fucked up are the people who eschew physical contact with anyone except their mate because physical contact is, in fact, pretty damn important to our sanity and stability.
Physical contact is very important, but I do think there is a line.
Now, cuddles/kisses/flirting, that's all rather harmless. When I'm up for it, I can be just as much of a cuddle slut as anyone, but if hands started to roam places they shouldn't, then I'd get worried. Sex? No way, not with anyone but the one I'm married to.
I just hope Im making sense with what I'm trying to say.
Of course--it's a matter of boundaries. If you don't respect other people's boundaries, it's... well, it's violation. And that is never, ever cool.
I'm a cuddleslut, but if I meet someone who is uncomfortable with even a hug or such, I'll respect that as much as I can. I may find it sad that they can't accept a hug in the spirit I mean it in, but it is all the same their right--it's their own person, therefore they set the boundaries.
I tend to feel that sex outside a relationship is the same as kissing--it's something that should be discussed and the boundaries agreed upon. Where those boundaries end up lying depends entirely on the couple, of course. In some cases it will be monogamous, in some not. I don't personal have a problem with not... as long as it's been discussed and agreed on.
no absolutely I'm of the same mind as both of you, there is a limit where cuddling stops being harmless cuddling and turns into something else, but MOST of us can tell where that line is.
At least for me, i know exactly where the line of friendship ends and something else begins, i've pushed it alot of times with friends, and have infact accidentally lead people on because of it...had ta learn the hard way ya see...
Yeah, me and carlos have diffenalty talked about it, its funny at times, but sometimes i'm sure that carlos can more than vouch for it, that it becomes very irritating sometimes. *chuckles* yeah, the lolita thing, i'm almost irresistable to girls below the age of 14, and above the age of 35, any thing inbetween is a little more difficult...
anyway, i agree with what you guys are saying, its all about the person and the boundaries set.
We are social animals. We crave physical contact and physical comfort. Wire monkeys we are not... Really, the people who are fucked up are the people who eschew physical contact with anyone except their mate because physical contact is, in fact, pretty damn important to our sanity and stability.
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Now, cuddles/kisses/flirting, that's all rather harmless. When I'm up for it, I can be just as much of a cuddle slut as anyone, but if hands started to roam places they shouldn't, then I'd get worried. Sex? No way, not with anyone but the one I'm married to.
I just hope Im making sense with what I'm trying to say.
Reply
I'm a cuddleslut, but if I meet someone who is uncomfortable with even a hug or such, I'll respect that as much as I can. I may find it sad that they can't accept a hug in the spirit I mean it in, but it is all the same their right--it's their own person, therefore they set the boundaries.
I tend to feel that sex outside a relationship is the same as kissing--it's something that should be discussed and the boundaries agreed upon. Where those boundaries end up lying depends entirely on the couple, of course. In some cases it will be monogamous, in some not. I don't personal have a problem with not... as long as it's been discussed and agreed on.
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At least for me, i know exactly where the line of friendship ends and something else begins, i've pushed it alot of times with friends, and have infact accidentally lead people on because of it...had ta learn the hard way ya see...
Yeah, me and carlos have diffenalty talked about it, its funny at times, but sometimes i'm sure that carlos can more than vouch for it, that it becomes very irritating sometimes.
*chuckles* yeah, the lolita thing, i'm almost irresistable to girls below the age of 14, and above the age of 35, any thing inbetween is a little more difficult...
anyway, i agree with what you guys are saying, its all about the person and the boundaries set.
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