QAF TRANSCRIPT: 1.04
HELP, PLZ
+This is random, but it's bugging me. The credits list an April and Prettiest Boy--and I don't know who they are. I somehow ended up with more names than speaking parts, pffft. Isn't April (along with September) one of Daphne's friends or did I just get that from fanfic? Daph didn't have any scenes with another girl this ep, though, not even one lurking at her side with no speaking part. Hmn. Anyway, any clues who they are?
RANDOM THOUGHTS/OBSERVATIONS ON 1.04
+Right before Jennifer wakes Justin, there's a shot of Justin's bedside table with a framed picture of Justin between two blond girls. They don't look familiar. I'd say one was supposed to be Molly, but both girls look too old. I want to know, dammit. Le sigh. These are the little things I get obsessed about.
+There's a sketch of Chris cradling Justin like Rage would later do in the comic after the bashing. You can see it when Jennifer flips through Justin's sketchpad. *shivers*
+Oohoooh. In the classroom, 'yearning' is defined as Chris is looking at Justin, not the reverse.
+Mrs. Schmidt asks Michael, "If my son had been ... straight, if he had taken a woman home, do you think she would have run off and left him there to die?" Actually, yes. Exactly that could have happened. It wasn't a matter of Blake being gay or even male. It was that he was an addict. Plus, of course, at this point, we don't know that it was Blake who called the ambulance. I've known women who wouldn't have even done that.
+Chris when Justin lifts a box, "Wow, you're pretty strong." HIS AWE FOR JUSTIN'S HOT LITTLE GAY BODY OMFG.
+Deb has never done that "cute" nose-rub thing again. Yay, continuity! :|
+"People wake up from comas, sweetheart." Can so picture Deb trying to comfort Brian with that after 1.22, with the added, "Just look at Teddy!"
+Brian kissing Gus's cheek. I die. It just makes Brian's fight with himself over Ted all that more compelling. Brian is so far from being a heartless shit.
+Justin, "I gotta vomit". AS HE PUTS FOOD IN HIS MOUTH. I ♥ dramaqueen!Justin.
+A framed ballet girls painting is on Michael's bedroom wall. Let me say that again. Framed. Ballet. Girls. Painting. At that point, Deb was just trying to get him beat up at school.
+Deb, "I like Ted. There's a real sweetheart in there, somewhere." Somewhere? He's been a sweetheart from the start. That line is fucked.
+Sweet lord. The bedroom blowjob. So fucking hot. And still one of my favorite s1 scenes about the B/J dynamic. Plus the following B/M scenes--I really just love that whole mini-arc. It added a whole new level to the B/M friendship. We hadn't really seen Michael draw a line with Brian before.
+Jennifer represents the accepting mom with Joan as the opposite, so I realize the show didn't really need another viewpoint, but I still wish we'd heard more about Mrs. Schmidt. She was so happy to be able to say she'd met Ted's friends. I want to believe he made her a bigger part of his life (even if she embarrasses him). I want to see Ted giving her a tour of Kinnetik in s5.
+Things You Realize When Listening Through Earphones: After we follow Ted/Michael into the bedroom, Emmett/Brian continuing talking in the kitchen. Emmett, "Oh my god, look at this. Who-who keeps lube in their-in their front kitchen cabinet?" Um, Brian? :P I was dying to hear what Brian answered, but Ted/Michael drown them out for the rest of the scene. I need CSI audio equipment so I can separate their dialogue out, kthx.
+The cast might have still been getting their acting legs under them at this point, as I've read, but damn if Gale's facial expression isn't genius when he reacts to why Ted picked Brian. He's just so gutted and stunned and omg. Galeface!!1 ♥
+Babylon needs a bigger costume budget. There are two different nights at Babylon and each time the go-go boys are sailors. :|
NOTES
+CowLip and Showtime's boys and girls.
+Feel free to save to your computer, but please don't repost anywhere.
+Archived here by the fantabulous paddies.
+Spot an error? Please leave a comment or e-mail me, and I'll look into it.
+Comments are welcome.
QUEER AS FOLK
1.04
WRITTEN BY: Richard Kramer
DIRECTED BY: Kevin Inch
ORIGINAL AIRDATE: December 17, 2000
TRANSCRIBED BY: url_girl
SUMMARY: While Ted lies in a drug-induced coma, Brian learns he's named the executor of his friend's living will. Also, Justin's mother suspects the truth about her son's sexuality and Michael and Emmett try to remove incriminating evidence from Ted's apartment but discover Ted's longtime crush on Michael.
FADE IN: INT. LIBERTY DINER - DAY
Pan across various dishes at the counter then over to a booth. Brian on the left, Michael and Emmett on the right. They're eating breakfast, subdued.
MICHAEL [VO]
In case you weren't there, I gotta tell ya, last Saturday night at Babylon was ... to die for.
EMMETT [OS]
Would somebody please say something?
MICHAEL
Okay. So it's late, and I'm leaving Babylon and there's this really hot guy.
FLASH CUT: INT. BABYLON - NIGHT
Dancing go-go boys. Michael appears in the crowd. A second later, HOT GUY comes up from behind and starts talking. Michael turns his head toward him and grins.
MICHAEL [VO]
And he's, like, perfect.
FLASH CUT: INT. LIBERTY DINER - DAY
BRIAN
How perfect?
MICHAEL
Perfect. And we end up ... [takes a bite of eggs] at my place.
FLASH CUT: INT. MICHAEL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Standing in the living room, Michael is kissing Hot Guy's neck.
HOT GUY
So I work with emotionally disturbed kids, and I really love it. And I'm the captain of the gay water polo team.
MICHAEL
You're really well-rounded.
He squeezes Hot Guy's ass.
FLASH CUT: INT. LIBERTY DINER - DAY
MICHAEL
So, we're making out, and in my mind I'm picturing him in a Speedo with a flag on it.
FLASH CUT: INT. MICHAEL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
HOT GUY
Oh, say, have you ever been to Brazil?
MICHAEL
Um, n-no. Have you?
He unbuckles Hot Guy's belt/pants.
HOT GUY
I just came back. It's fabulous.
Michael whips his own shirt off over his head.
MICHAEL
Great beaches, I hear.
He goes to his knees.
HOT GUY
Yeah. Only, they have these things.
MICHAEL
Things?
HOT GUY
Parasite things. They live in the sand and they sort of ... burrow themselves right up in there.
Michael quickly stands, freaked.
MICHAEL [VO]
He had them.
FLASH CUT: INT. LIBERTY DINER - DAY
MICHAEL
Brazilian beach parasites, in his ass.
Emmett laughs.
EMMETT
Oh, god. Well, at least you found out before you got too far.
Michael shudders.
BRIAN
[to Emmett] What about you?
EMMETT
We were just getting started.
FLASH CUT: INT. WEIRD GUY'S BEDROOM
We follow the camera across a blood red bedroom filled with a hundred lit candles, a leather/metal-clad torso dummy, whips on the wall, white bed and a chain headboard. A bald man in leathers and spiked metal collar, WEIRD GUY, is fitting Emmett into a leather body harness.
EMMETT
I feel like a 1991 Madonna video. Uh, do you have this in a size larger?
Weird Guy cinches the back of the harness hard, rocking Emmett.
WEIRD GUY
Can we hurry this along? I've got a bride and groom to do in the morning.
EMMETT
So you're bi?
WEIRD GUY
No. They're dead. Car crash.
He pushes Emmett onto the bed and grabs his legs in the air.
FLASH CUT: INT. LIBERTY DINER - DAY
MICHAEL
You went home with...
EMMETT
An undertaker. Mm-hmm.
BRIAN
I fucked an undertaker once.
MICHAEL
You did? When?
BRIAN
He told me sometimes they sew the mouths shut.
EMMETT
What about you, Brian? What'd you do?
Long pause.
FLASH CUT: INT. LOFT - NIGHT
A nude Justin sits on the bed, watching an equally nude Brian walk toward him. Brian drops onto his knees on the bed and they kiss.
FLASH CUT: INT. LIBERTY DINER - DAY
BRIAN
I made it an early evening.
EMMETT
You know, um, when I go ... promise you won't let them sew my mouth shut. Because when I get to heaven, and I meet Natalie Wood, I wanna be able to say, 'Natalie, it's Emmett. What happened that night?!'
They all laugh.
DEB [OS]
Hey!
She's standing at the table with a serious face, serving tray in hand.
DEB
Shouldn't you boys be getting to the hospital?
She walks away. Their smiles fade.
CUT TO: INT. HOSPITAL - DAY
Ted, in a bed and on oxygen, looks asleep.
MICHAEL [OS]
Schmidt, Ted.
NURSE [OS]
Are you family?
INT. NURSE'S STATION
Brian, Emmett and Michael stand at the desk.
MICHAEL
Friends. Uh, we know he's, like, in a coma and everything. We just would like to be with him for a little while, if that's okay.
NURSE
I'll see.
She walks away.
EMMETT
The nurse's station. I used to think it had something to do with radio. 'All nursing, all the time.'
They chuckle.
MRS. SCHMIDT [OS]
Hello.
We pan to the right and see a nicely dressed woman, MRS. SCHMIDT, sitting along the row of chairs against the wall.
MRS. SCHMIDT
I'm Margaret Schmidt. I'm Ted's mother.
They look at her. Michael walks over.
MRS. SCHMIDT
If you need permission to see him, I'll give it. I've ... I'm sure he'd appreciate it.
MICHAEL
I'm Michael. And this is Emmett [gestures] and Brian [gestures]. We're Ted's friends.
MRS. SCHMIDT
He's still in the coma. He looks like he did when he was a boy. When he slept. They don't think he'll come out of it.
Emmett looks back at Brian. Michael sits by Mrs. Schmidt.
MRS. SCHMIDT
I sat by his bed ... all night. About five o'clock in the morning it occurred to me ... loving someone's not the same as knowing them.
Brian looks away. And spots a hot MALE NURSE in the room behind the nurse's station. As the sound of orgasmic moans start in the background, Brian watches him walk by and Male Nurse smiles, interested. Michael sees the exchange.
MICHAEL
Brian!
Brian turns back around to see them all staring at him. He looks away, chastised.
CUT TO: INT. JUSTIN'S BEDROOM - DAY
Bedside table clock reads 8:09 a.m. Bare chested, Justin is sleeping face down under the comforter.
JENNIFER [OS]
Justin?
Knock on the door.
JENNIFER [OS]
Justin, you're late.
Justin lifts his head a little and 'hmphs' as he wakes up. Jennifer walks in.
JUSTIN [OS]
You're right.
Tossing the comforter, he rolls over and up.
JUSTIN
I'm up, I'm up.
JENNIFER
You got ten minutes.
She starts making his bed.
JUSTIN
I'm taking a shower, okay?
He walks off-screen. The sound of running water. Jennifer spots his open backpack on the bed. After a glance at the bathroom, she pulls out Justin's sketchpad. Another glance the bathroom's way and she opens the pad. Inside are drawings of a football player (#68 - Chris Hobbs).
First page: the football player a) talking to a figure b) holding a male figure in his arms. Second page: close-ups of the football player's face. Third page is blank. Fourth/fifth page: more of the football player in uniform, full body. Sixth page is men: chests, abs, asses. Seventh page is covered with Brian's name.
Jennifer puts the sketchpad back. She stands still, closing her eyes. Justin's voice startles her.
JUSTIN [OS]
I'm out of shampoo.
JENNIFER
I'll get you some.
She leaves. The clock reads 8:10 a.m.
CUT TO: INT. HOSPITAL - DAY
Emmett, Brian and Michael looking into Ted's room from the door window. Inside, Male Nurse is tending to Ted. Lifting the bed rail, he sees them and walks over to slide shut the curtain.
EMMETT
Who do you think it was? I mean, who, uh, gave him the drugs.
MICHAEL
I bet it was that guy Blake who was cruising him all night.
EMMETT
Think we should tell someone?
BRIAN
No.
Long beat.
MICHAEL
His mom said she'd call us if there was any change.
BRIAN
You know, he's a first. The first almost dead guy I sort of had sex with.
MICHAEL
You had sex with Ted?
EMMETT
You never had sex with Ted.
MICHAEL
When did you have sex with T--
BRIAN
Sort of sex. At this semi-orgy.
MICHAEL
Semi? When?
BRIAN
You know that weekend that John-John's plane went down?
EMMETT
Oh ... god. They kept showing him on the beach with his shirt off. I didn't know whether to jerk off or weep.
MICHAEL
So did-so did you, like, plan it?
BRIAN
It just sort of happened. Things do.
Emmett laughs.
BRIAN
It was Scott and Kevin, the Todds.
Emmett holds up his pinkie finger.
BRIAN
And Ted shows up with my taxes, and all the sudden we're all doing it and ... he even tried to fuck me.
MICHAEL
He's in there. His life's like this [gestures up and down], dot on a screen. And that could be us.
BRIAN
No, it could not be us. Because we know better. We know not to believe pretty little blond boys who tell you it's 'really good shit.' Because that's what they all say. Ted didn't know that. And he didn't know that you only do drugs with your friends because they're the only ones who give a fuck about you.
He puts a hand on each of their shoulders.
BRIAN
Now I've got to go to work. I have to be brilliant.
CUT TO: INT. ST. JAMES ACADEMY - DAY
Middle-aged teacher, MR. HORNER, stands at the blackboard where a large black and white photo of a man hangs.
MR. HORNER
F. Scott Fitzgerald. Classic profile, famously handsome.
He gestures with a book he's holding.
MR. HORNER
And The Great Gatsby.
He sits on the edge of his desk. View of the classroom and we see Justin, chin down, at his desk in the back. Chris Hobbs sits one aisle over to the right.
MR. HORNER [OS]
Which captures a particular American yearning.
Shot of Chris that pans down to the back of a male figure Justin is drawing in his sketchpad.
MR. HORNER
And what do I mean by that, hmm?
Daphne, at Justin's left and seeing the drawing, giggles. Justin grins in reaction but doesn't look up.
MR. HORNER
Justin?
Justin looks up, startled. The class turns to look at him. Close-up on Chris.
JUSTIN [OS]
Uh, yearning is when you want something really badly.
Back to Justin.
JUSTIN
Like ... so bad it hurts.
Chris looks from Justin back to Mr. Horner.
MR. HORNER
Exactly. It needs to hurt to be worthy of the word.
Back to Chris.
MR. HORNER [OS]
Otherwise, it's just wanting.
Justin drawing.
MR. HORNER [OS]
It's represented in The Gatsby by the green light across the water.
Close-up of Justin's eyes as he stares at Chris.
MR. HORNER [OS]
You can see it, but you can't touch it.
Chris friend-punches the arm of the guy in front of him. They trade punches.
MR. HORNER [OS]
Mr. Hobbs!
Tossing the book down, he walks over.
MR. HORNER
Mr. Hobbs, are your parents really paying for you to have another testosterone outburst?
CHRIS
I wasn't doing anything.
MR. HORNER
Exactly. But you will be after school.
CHRIS
I have football practice.
Justin is listening intently.
MR. HORNER
Not today. Today you'll be cleaning out the athletic room. The only thing we fight about in this room, Mr. Hobbs ... is interpretation.
CUT TO: INT. HOSPITAL - DAY
Michael and Emmett walk up to Mrs. Schmidt. She's sitting, reading a magazine.
MICHAEL
Mrs. Schmidt, we're going to work. I-if you want, you can call me on my cell phone if...
MRS. SCHMIDT
They said ... he took an overdose of a-a drug I've never heard of.
EMMETT
Well, h-he wasn't a-a drug user.
MICHAEL
He must have met someone that night. And-and took him home.
MRS. SCHMIDT
May I ask you something, Michael?
MICHAEL
Sure.
Mrs. Schmidt stands.
MRS. SCHMIDT
If my son had been ... straight, if he had taken a woman home, do you think she would have run off and left him there to die?
She grabs her purse and leaves.
CUT TO: INT. ST. JAMES ACADEMY - DAY
Chris is cleaning the equipment room. We pull back and see Justin standing there, watching.
JUSTIN
Need some help?
Chris turns.
CHRIS
This sucks.
JUSTIN
Yeah. They need you at practice.
He walks further in the room.
CHRIS
How do you know they do? I thought you weren't into, like, sports and shit.
JUSTIN
Some.
CHRIS
Yeah, well, you sure keep it a secret. I'm supposed to get all this shit cleaned up outta here.
Justin picks up a box of equipment and sets it on the table.
CHRIS
Wow, you're pretty strong.
JUSTIN
It's my other secret.
He grins.
CUT TO: INT. RYDER ADVERTISING - DAY
Brian at his desk, looking at some copy. He tosses it on the desk.
BRIAN
I can't do this fucking copy.
MELANIE [OS]
Excuse me for barging in.
She strides in and slams her briefcase down on Brian's desk.
MELANIE
This won't take long. As you may or may not know, I'm Ted's lawyer.
BRIAN
So?
MELANIE
So, you need to know Ted made a living will. Do you have one?
BRIAN
No.
MELANIE
Well, you should.
She holds out some papers from a folder for him to take.
MELANIE
But, I'm not your lawyer, I'm his.
When Brian doesn't take the papers, she drops them on his desk.
MELANIE
Anyway, he's made you responsible.
BRIAN
For what?
MELANIE
For deciding should he ever be incompetent or unable to make a decision whether to be kept alive by extraordinary measures or ... be permitted to die.
BRIAN
Are you telling me that Ted wants me to decide whether or not to pull the plug?
MELANIE
I tried to talk him out of it.
BRIAN
And how long have you known about this?
MELANIE
It doesn't matter how long.
BRIAN
Yeah, it does. I'm this secret you two have been sharing. When were you planning on telling me?
MELANIE
I was hoping I wouldn't have to. That the situation would never arise.
BRIAN
Well, it has! It's arisen now.
MELANIE
And now you know.
CUT TO: INT. ST. JAMES ACADEMY - DAY
Equipment room. Chris is sitting on a mat. He catches the Pepsi Justin tosses at him. He pops it open and it foams out. Still standing, Justin watches. Chris takes a drink, shaking his hand of the foam. Justin is quiet. Chris offers him a drink. Their hands touch as they trade off and time slows. We see the red Babylon stamp on the back of Justin's right hand. The camera pans down, signaling a time jump, and Justin is sitting beside Chris.
CHRIS
Suzanne Shepley, big whore. She'll blow you, but she won't fuck if you're in this school. Only if you go somewhere else, preferably Catholic.
JUSTIN
She seemed like a dyke to me.
CHRIS
Oh, man, she's not a dyke. She's a whore. There's a difference.
They laugh. Long pause as Chris looks at Justin's profile.
CHRIS
So you know Mary Francis Cottallutto? So, she comes over to interview me for the school paper about being this great athlete and shit. And it's four o'clock and my mom won't be home till six. So I tell her what a touchdown is like, and she grabs my dick.
JUSTIN
No!
CHRIS
Oh, yeah, she went for it. Not only that, she unzips my fly.
He slides his leg down and starts to rub himself, eyes closed. Justin swallows as he watches.
CHRIS
She's got my dick and she's got all these rings on. They're cold, but her hand's warm. She's rubbing ... and rubbing. Oh, yeah. And then she's gotta go home. You know, and I'm there. And I'm...
JUSTIN
You're hard.
Chris says nothing, eyes still closed. Justin reaches over and rubs Chris's cock. Then he unzips and slides his hand inside to slowly jerk him off. Chris pants and moans. Justin grins and goes faster. After Chris comes, Justin's smile fades and he pulls his hand away. In that instant, the door opens.
CHRIS
Shit.
He zips his pants without Mr. Horner seeing as he walks in.
MR. HORNER
Shouldn't you be working?
CHRIS
I, uh, I am working, Mr. Horner.
He quickly gets up. Justin grins.
CUT TO: INT. WORLD GYM - DAY
Steam room with towel-clad men. We follow NAKED GUY to find Emmett and Michael lounging in the corner.
NAKED GUY #1
Hey, guys.
NAKED GUY #2
Hey.
Emmett watches Naked Guy pass.
EMMETT
How come I can't get my gluts to look like that?
MICHAEL
Maybe you're not properly visualizing the muscle group.
EMMETT
Oh, I'm visualizing it all right. On my face.
They laugh. Brian appears and takes the seat in front of them.
BRIAN
Why me? Why not his mother? [to Emmett] Why not you?
EMMETT
Because I can't decide what to wear in the morning. Who, in their right mind, would give me power of life and death?
MICHAEL
I couldn't do it, either.
BRIAN
I don't even like Ted.
MICHAEL
Oh, come on. You do so.
BRIAN
Well, not enough to be responsible for his fucking life.
EMMETT
Well, he must have wanted you for a reason.
MICHAEL
Maybe he's secretly in love with you.
BRIAN
I love you. I'm comatose. Kill me.
MICHAEL
It's not over yet, Brian. He could still wake up.
Brian looks at him.
CUT TO: INT. JUSTIN'S ROOM - DAY
Justin (in casual clothes) and Daphne (in her school uniform) are laying on the bed with the stereo playing.
DAPHNE
Chris?
She laughs.
DAPHNE
No way!
Grinning, Justin makes a jerking off gesture.
JUSTIN
Then don't believe me.
DAPHNE
But I thought you were in love with that Brian guy.
JUSTIN
Me and Chris? That's not love, Daph. That's just fucking.
She laughs.
DAPHNE
Oh, and I thought it was detention.
They laugh.
JENNIFER [OS]
Justin?
Daphne sits up.
DAPHNE
Oh, I gotta go.
She gets her backpack. Justin goes to the stereo.
DAPHNE
Hi, Mrs. Taylor.
Jennifer grins.
JENNIFER
Hi, Daphne.
Daphne leaves. Jennifer looks at her watch.
JENNIFER
Didn't you have art club this afternoon?
JUSTIN
I quit art club.
Justin stops the CD playing.
JENNIFER
You love art club.
JUSTIN
I'm not interested.
JENNIFER
Since when? Just last week--
JUSTIN
You don't know everything about me. A week's, like, a long time. Things can change in a week.
JENNIFER
Well, I thought you might like to know I'm going to Niketown, but you're probably not interested in that, either.
JUSTIN
When?
JENNIFER
Now. And you can drive.
Justin follows her out.
CUT TO: INT. LIBERTY AVENUE DINER - DAY
Michael walks in and watches Deb behind the counter, clearing dishes. She rubs her nose in a cute way and Michael smiles. Deb looks up and sees him. She grins and waves, going over to him, rubbing her nose again. Michael keeps grinning at her.
DEB
What?
MICHAEL
Just the thing you do with your hand.
He does her nose-rub twice.
MICHAEL
Like this.
Deb grins.
DEB
I do that, huh?
MICHAEL
Yeah, you do.
DEB
Well, you should know.
MICHAEL
Yeah.
They're quiet. Deb leans over, pats his hand.
DEB
People wake up from comas, sweetheart.
MICHAEL
Yeah, sure.
DEB
Your Uncle Vic. How long was he in his?
MICHAEL
Nine days?
DEB
Ten. And I thought I'd lost him. I couldn't tell your grandmother it was AIDS at the time because she couldn't have dealt with it. I wanted to hear all about the white light and the-the tunnel and-and-and did Aunt Teresa get to heaven. First words out of his mouth: 'Did I miss the Golden Globes?'
She laughs, Michael smiles. She leans forward again.
DEB
So, how is he?
MICHAEL
The same. No change. [beat] I'm gonna go back a little later. I thought I'd take something to his mom.
Deb gets emotional and comes around the counter to grab his head and kiss him. She walks back behind the counter.
MICHAEL
What was that for?
Deb dismisses it with a wave and gets a Styrofoam container off a shelf, then the lemon bars.
DEB
Turkey meatloaf. Lemon bars. They're great today.
CUT TO: EXT. RESIDENTIAL ROAD - DAY
Justin driving, Jennifer in the passenger seat.
JENNIFER
You're a good driver.
JUSTIN
Better than you.
He laughs and after a second, so does Jennifer. She touches the dashboard.
JENNIFER
Okay, slow down. This is a bit too fast.
Justin looks/points to the speedometer.
JUSTIN
This is normal. And you just said I was a good driver.
Jennifer smiles at him.
JUSTIN
What?
JENNIFER
Nothing. It's just nice. You laughed. It's been a while.
JUSTIN
You know, maybe you could get another car. Let me have this for school.
JENNIFER
Oh, just hand it over, huh? I was twenty before I had a car. I was going out with Jay McLaughlin. He could have been your father.
JUSTIN
That's stupid. I wouldn't be me.
JENNIFER
He was my first real boyfriend.
JUSTIN
I'd be totally someone else.
JENNIFER
Learned with him what a kiss really was.
Justin makes a face.
JUSTIN
Gross!
Jennifer laughs.
JUSTIN
Don't tell me. I don't want to know.
JENNIFER
Well, now you do.
Justin grins. Jennifer looks at the Babylon stamp on his hand.
JENNIFER
So, do you have a boyfriend, Justin?
Flash-cut to a shocked Justin. Long pause.
JENNIFER
You can tell me. I promise you, I won't tell your father.
JUSTIN
I don't.
JENNIFER
Then who's Brian?
Justin shoots her a shocked look. He pulls over, shuts the car off and opens the door.
JENNIFER
Justin.
He runs away.
JENNIFER
Justin!
CUT TO: INT. HOSPITAL - DAY
Chapel. Michael walks in with the diner food. He clears his throat.
MICHAEL
Mrs. Schmidt?
Sitting in the front row before a cross, Mrs. Schmidt turns and smiles.
MRS. SCHMIDT
Michael.
MICHAEL
I don't mean to bug you. Uh, I brought you this. It's from my mom. I ... meatloaf and lemons bars. The lemon bars are really good.
He hands her the container.
MRS. SCHMIDT
There's, um, still no change.
Michael sits across the aisle from her.
MRS. SCHMIDT
They're watching and waiting, so ... I thought I'd take a small break.
MICHAEL
Well, I'm sure you could use one.
MRS. SCHMIDT
He mentioned a Michael. I said, um, 'Tell me the name of one special friend.' And he said, 'Well, there's a Michael.' Thank you for the food, dear. I'll, uh, stay a bit longer and then I'll go to his condo tonight.
MICHAEL
His ... condo?
MRS. SCHMIDT
Oh, for pajamas. I don't know if he even wears them, but ... if he does, he'll need them when, um...
She stands to go after palming Michael's cheek. Michael waits until she's walking away before pulling out his cell phone.
CUT TO: INT. TORSO - DAY
Emmett is folding clothes with a phone headset on.
EMMETT
Torso.
SPLIT SCREEN SHOT:
Emmett at Torso.
Michael in the chapel.
MICHAEL
It's me.
EMMETT
Oh my god, is he dead?
MICHAEL
No, but he's gonna wish he was when he finds out his mom's going to his condo tonight for pajamas.
Emmett laughs.
EMMETT
Oh, shit! What if she finds his porn?
MICHAEL
And his magazines. And remember his thirty-third birthday last year--
Emmett laughs.
EMMETT
When we gave him those thirty-three dildos. That was hilarious.
MICHAEL
Well, it's not so funny anymore. We gotta go there and find all thirty-three.
EMMETT
Wait!
MICHAEL
What?
EMMETT
What if he's given some as hostess gifts?
MICHAEL
Wha--?
CUT TO: INT. LINDSAY AND MELANIE'S HOUSE - DAY
Lindsay, Gus in hand, goes to answer the knock on the door. It's Brian. He removes his sunglasses and comes in.
BRIAN
I don't have a lot of time.
He shuts the door and walks away.
LINDSAY
You have time to kiss your son.
She follows and hands Gus to him. Brian relaxes and kisses Gus's cheek. We hear someone coming down the stairs.
MELANIE [OS]
Hey, honey, his bath's ready.
She stops at the base of the stairs, seeing Brian. Brian hands Gus back to Lindsay.
MELANIE
Oh. Did we know he was coming?
BRIAN
No, we did not know.
MELANIE
Well, it'd be nice if you'd call first. As I said, his bath's ready, so if you want me to take him up--
Brian swings around to face Melanie, agitated.
BRIAN
I don't give a shit what Ted wants. I'm not doing it, do you understand?
MELANIE
I told him you'd be this way.
BRIAN
He has a mother.
MELANIE
Yeah, would you wish this on yours?
BRIAN
He has better friends.
MELANIE
Well that's for goddamn sure!
Gus starts to cry.
LINDSAY
[disapproving] Melanie, would you please...
MELANIE
Look, did I barge in here at bath time? Was that me?
BRIAN
Fuck bath time and fuck you!
MELANIE
Hey, fuck you!
LINDSAY
Just stop it, both of you.
BRIAN
So, let's cut to the chase. Find somebody else. His mommy, or Michael or Madonna. I don't care who.
LINDSAY
But he chose you.
BRIAN
Well, he chose wrong.
MELANIE
Yeah, that's what I said to him. I said, 'Brian is not the person you want responsible for your life. He's a selfish, narcissistic little fucking faggot!' And let me tell you something, it's not because you suck cock, it's because you're a little fucking coward! So go, get out, now!
Brian stares at her, then looks to Lindsay. Her expression and a helpless shake of her head says he should just go. Brian looks at Melanie again, then goes to the door. Melanie shadows him, slamming the door once he's gone. Lindsay takes a few steps closer.
LINDSAY
You had no right talking to him that way.
Melanie turns.
MELANIE
No right? Ted is lying there, on life support. He's probably never going to wake up and he is depending on Brian to show him the decency, the kindness to release him.
Lindsay closes the distance between them.
LINDSAY
That's all the more reason to be kind. After all, he's the one who has to do it. Think how hard it must be. What if it were one of us? If it was me lying there and you had to pull the plug?
Melanie shakes her head, affected.
MELANIE
I'm not sure I could.
LINDSAY
Maybe that's why you're so angry at him. Because you know if it were you, you'd be as scared and angry as he is.
They lean their foreheads together.
CUT TO: INT. BABYLON - DAY
Backroom. Brian grabs Trick #1 to kiss. The trick slides down while two more tricks join in, touching and licking Brian's body. After a minute, Brian grabs the chin of Trick #2, looks at him, then pushes him away. He shoves the other tricks away and pulls his leather jacket back up onto his shoulders and walk-stumbles a few steps. Puts on his sunglasses and goes out the back door.
CUT TO: EXT. DAPHNE'S HOUSE - DAY
Justin and Daphne stand in the driveway behind a car. Justin is smoking.
JUSTIN
She knows! My mom knows!
DAPHNE
Holy shit!
JUSTIN
I've got to find Brian.
DAPHNE
What for?
JUSTIN
He'll know what to do.
DAPHNE
Like he cares.
JUSTIN
He wants me!
DAPHNE
How can you tell?
JUSTIN
Because I can. I'm gonna live with him. I'm gonna be with him. You'll see. Now, please, you've got to help me.
DAPHNE
I'm grounded.
JUSTIN
[soft] Oh, fuck.
He takes a drag off his cigarette.
DAPHNE
My mom said she'd better come home and find me reading Toni Morrison.
Justin gives her puppy eyes. Daphne sighs. Beat.
DAPHNE
Well, they don't get home until seven. And you do beat Beloved.
Justin is grinning as he throws his cigarette down. They get in the car.
CUT TO: INT. TED'S APARTMENT - DAY
Sound of a key in a lock. Emmett and Michael walk in. Emmett slides the coffee table lamp over a few inches.
EMMETT
That's better. I'm always telling him not everything in life needs to be centered.
Michael is in the kitchen, frantic.
MICHAEL
We can redecorate later. His mother's coming.
He opens the refrigerator.
MICHAEL
Poppers.
He tosses the vial over his shoulder to Emmett.
EMMETT
Oop!
Michael tosses more packages that Emmett catches.
MICHAEL
Cheddar. Uh, Brie.
EMMETT
I don't think there are particularly strong shame issues attached to cheese, Michael.
MICHAEL
Fine! Whatever. You check out the bedroom. I'll work out here.
EMMETT
Okay.
Emmett goes off. Michael throws things away in the kitchen, then rushes to the front room. At the TV stand, he goes through drawers of video tapes, sorting out the porn.
MICHAEL
Falcon ... Falcon... You've Got Mail. He masturbates to Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks?
A dildo comes sailing through the air, hitting him in the head.
MICHAEL
Ow!
More dildos come flying.
EMMETT
Found 'em!
Michael catches a huge one.
MICHAEL
God! Jesus, look at this one.
Emmett jumps into the room, holding another huge dildo like a sword.
EMMETT
Ha!
They start dueling.
MICHAEL
Touché!
Emmett jabs at Michael's butt.
EMMETT
In this case, tushy.
MICHAEL
Whoo!
More dueling, then Emmett stabs Michael in the chest. Making dying noises, Michael falls on the couch, Emmett following to sit hard on his lap.
EMMETT
Dead! Right through the heart!
Emmett jumps up to head back to the bedroom.
EMMETT
All right. There's, like, a million of 'em in there. And we've gotta find them all.
Michael gets up.
MICHAEL
We must.
He rounds up the thrown dildos and porn tapes off the floor, following Emmett into the bedroom. After tossing them onto the bed, he starts going through Ted's dresser, while Emmett opens a locker. Taped to the inside of the door are about twenty pictures of Michael: candids, smiling with Ted, working at the computer, making funny faces, bare chested.
EMMETT
Michael? Come here.
Michael walks over. He goes solemn, seeing the pictures. They trade a look.
CUT TO: EXT. BRIAN'S LOFT - NIGHT
Justin repeatedly buzzing the loft's intercom. He tries the locked door.
JUSTIN
Shit! Fuck!
He backs up into the street, screaming up at the loft.
JUSTIN
Brian! Brian!
MAN [OS]
Shut up!
Across the street, Daphne honks her car horn and leans out the window.
DAPHNE
Justin, I gotta go home.
Justin looks back at her, then up at the loft, before crossing the street.
JUSTIN
But, I-I have to find him.
DAPHNE
Well, what about the crazy lady?
JUSTIN
What crazy lady?
DAPHNE
You know, the weird one ... from the diner.
JUSTIN
You mean Debbie?
CUT TO: INT. WOODY'S - NIGHT
We pan by a guy playing pool to Michael and Emmett sitting at a table with beers.
MICHAEL
So what do you think it means?
EMMETT
I think it means he likes you.
MICHAEL
I think it means he loves me.
Emmett takes a drink.
EMMETT
Kind of flattering, in a way. He collects you the way you collect comics.
MICHAEL
It's just that ... all this time, I ... I never knew.
EMMETT
There's a lot of things we don't know about each other. Like, did you know ... I used to walk down the street in Hazelhurst, Mississippi, and the postman would spit at me.
MICHAEL
I don't know where my father was born. Or ... even who he is.
EMMETT
I sat with my dead grandma for an hour ... and held her hand ... before I told anyone she was dead.
Michael reaches for his hand.
EMMETT
How come we never tell each other these things, huh?
He takes Michael's hand.
CUT TO: INT. DEB'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Deb with a hand on her hip, having answered the door to find Justin.
DEB
Don't tell me. Brian. Am I right?
Justin nods. Deb softens.
DEB
Come on in. I'll make you a sandwich.
She walks away. Justin comes in, closing the door.
JUSTIN
Actually, I just need to know how I can--
DEB
And don't talk. I can figure it all out.
She goes to the wall phone, motioning Justin to the kitchen table.
DEB
Have a seat, honey. Right there.
She punches in a number as Justin sits.
DEB
Michael?
Justin whips his head around.
DEB
It's me. You've got male.
Justin deflates.
CUT TO: INT. BRIAN'S LOFT - NIGHT
Lindsay in the loft. Brian, fresh from the shower in his robe and holding a drink, slides the door shut. He walks to the kitchen, Lindsay following.
LINDSAY
I just want you to know Melanie feels terrible about what she said.
BRIAN
Do you think I care?
Adds ice to his drink.
LINDSAY
Look, it's upsetting for all of us. But at a time like this we could try showing a little compassion. Especially for Ted. Is there any word?
BRIAN
The machines say he's still alive.
LINDSAY
Poor guy.
BRIAN
What about us? We don't have any beeps or wires with little white dots telling us we're alive, so how do we know? I guess we just take each other's word.
LINDSAY
Maybe we know from what people expect from us. I mean, take Gus. He needs me to feed him, to change him. Knowing that tells me I'm alive. So, for me, right now, it's him.
BRIAN
What about me?
Lindsay closes the distance between them.
LINDSAY
Ted needs you now. So maybe that's what tells you you're alive.
Brian exhales and looks down. Lindsay holds his face.
LINDSAY
You'll do the right thing. Whatever it is.
Her hands slide away.
BRIAN
You don't know that.
CUT TO: INT. TED'S HOSPITAL ROOM - NIGHT
Slow pan up the bed, a machine beeping. Brian's hand comes into view and hovers over Ted's face.
BRIAN
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. For going home with some tweaked out little twinkie and thinking you got lucky.
He leans down.
BRIAN
Did he let you eat his ass? Did he let you suck his cock? Well, I hope it was worth it. And fuck you for choosing me. I ought to let you lie here forever. How'd you like that? Can you hear me? [long pause] You know, you're not so bad looking. In fact ... you look better like this. You should die more often. Or live. So that I don't have to say yes. Yes, I'll do it. I'll give you what you want. What you need. But don't think it's for you. It's not. It's for me.
A hand on his shoulder makes Brian turn. It's Male Nurse. They face each other for a second, then start kissing and stripping. Male Nurse lays on an empty bed. Brian pushes his pants to his ankles and jumps on top of him. Moans. The camera pans back to Ted's bed as he begins to wake up.
MALE NURSE [OS]
[whispered] Oh, yeah.
More moans and grunts. Ted moves his head, following the noise.
TED
Jesus.
CUT TO: INT. DEB'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Justin eating a sandwich.
MICHAEL [OS]
This is my house. You've got your own. Go home.
JUSTIN
[mouth full] I can't.
MICHAEL
What?
JUSTIN
[mouth full, articulating] I can't. My mom knows.
Shot widens and we see Vic at the kitchen table with Justin. Deb and Michael are standing.
DEB
Well, she could go to my PFLAG group at the Center every other Tuesday. I'll get her a t-shirt and a button.
MICHAEL
Ma, please!
DEB
Ma, please, what? I am proud to have a gay son.
MICHAEL
We know!
DEB
And brother.
She encircles Vic from behind.
VIC
Thanks, sis.
He takes his pills with water.
DEB
I've always said it isn't who you love, it's how you love. Genitalia is simply God's way of accessorizing.
MICHAEL
This is not about you and the Gay Mother of the Year award. This is about Brian's one night stand.
Justin shakes his head.
JUSTIN
[mouth full] Not just one.
MICHAEL
Don't bet on it. And who here even cares?!
VIC
I do.
JUSTIN
My dad threatened to disown me. He called me a big queer.
VIC
He didn't hit you, did he?
MICHAEL
Oh, come on, Uncle Vic. You're not gonna listen to this shit!
JUSTIN
That's why I have to see Brian. He'll let me stay with him.
MICHAEL
I don't think so.
JUSTIN
Well, then ... I'll go to New York! I'll become a hustler, and I'll sell my body to gross old homos!
Vic leans in.
VIC
I'll give you twenty bucks.
Deb swats his head. Vic turns to her.
VIC
Save him the train fare.
JUSTIN
I'm gonna throw up. I gotta vomit.
He stands, putting more sandwich in his mouth. Deb points up.
DEB
Upstairs bathroom. The one for guests and drama queens.
Justin jogs off. Vic and Michael laugh.
DEB
It's not a joke, you know. Gay teens have a very high suicide rate.
MICHAEL
Unfortunately not this one.
He enters a number into his cell phone. Deb smacks his arm; he snorts and puts the phone to his ear.
INT. MICHAEL'S ROOM
Justin walks in, looking around. He grins, seeing the corkboard with the picture of Brian and Michael as teenagers. He reaches for it.
INT. KITCHEN
Deb at the sink, Michael and Vic eating sandwiches at the table.
DEB
I'm calling his mother.
MICHAEL
It's none of our business.
DEB
He may be telling the truth, and even if he isn't, she's got to be worried.
VIC
She's not worried. Now she knows. It's not drugs. It's not booze. He didn't buy an automatic weapon to take down to the Spanish club. It's just cock.
Amused, Deb turns, hand on hip. Vic laughs.
Sound of the front door closing.
BRIAN [OS]
Hi.
He walks in.
BRIAN
[to Deb] How did he find you?
Deb throws her hands up. Brian walks over to grip Vic's shoulder in greeting.
MICHAEL
They all find her. And now he won't leave. You gotta do something.
BRIAN
Like what?
MICHAEL
Like get him out of my house! He's upstairs.
Brian frowns and turns.
BRIAN
All right. I'm going.
MICHAEL
This is not how I wanted to spend my evening.
Brian stops and grins back at them.
BRIAN
By the way ... Ted woke up. He's going to be okay.
Brian runs up the stairs. Everyone is relieved at the news. Deb crosses herself.
INT. MICHAEL'S ROOM
Justin looking down at the photo. He hears the door close behind him and smiles to himself before turning to face Brian.
BRIAN
What are you doing here?
JUSTIN
Waiting for you.
INT. KITCHEN
Michael, Deb, and Vic at the table.
DEB
Well, it's a relief. I'll say that. I like Ted. There's a real sweetheart in there, somewhere.
Michael is staring into space.
DEB
Michael?
INT. MICHAEL'S ROOM
Twice, Justin tries to go in for a kiss. Brian dodges the first time, pushes Justin's chest back the second time. When Justin stands still is when Brian finally pulls him in for a couple kisses.
INT. KITCHEN
Michael looks up at the ceiling.
INT. MICHAEL'S ROOM
One more kiss and Justin goes to his knees. Unbuttons Brian's jeans, then rises for more kisses. Brian whips Justin's shirt off. More kissing. Justin sinks downward and Brian's eyes close as Justin blows him.
INT. KITCHEN
Deb stands, taking her coffee cup to the sink.
DEB
I've decided.
MICHAEL
What?
DEB
You and me. We're taking him home.
MICHAEL
Why you and me? Wh-why me at all?
DEB
Well, he can hardly go with Brian.
VIC
And if I go it looks a little ... Fagin and Oliver Twist.
MICHAEL
Leaving me, huh? The harmless one. Thanks a lot.
Deb swats him with her dish towel.
Justin and Brian come down the stairs and into the kitchen. Justin grins smugly at Michael and steals some chips off his plate. Agitated, Michael stands and moves to the far wall behind Brian.
DEB
I'm calling your mother. I'm taking you home.
JUSTIN
I'm not going.
Deb points a finger in his face.
DEB
You get my tits in a knot, Sunshine, and you're gonna be in deep shit.
A hand to his chest and a grin moves him out of the way.
DEB
'Scuse me.
She goes to call Jennifer. Justin sits at the table, drinks some milk.
VIC
What are you studying in school?
JUSTIN
Hmm?
VIC
Called conversation.
Brian chuckles. He catches Michael's pissed off look and goes solemn, glancing down. Deb appears with her coat on.
DEB
Ready?
MICHAEL
I need to talk to Brian. I'll be there in a second.
Deb makes a 'come on' finger gesture to Justin, then turns toward the door. Justin follows.
JUSTIN
[mouths to Brian] Bye.
Vic gets up and leaves. Michael watches everyone leave, then faces Brian.
MICHAEL
Do you have anything to say?
Pause.
BRIAN
No.
MICHAEL
Well, I do. You can fuck him at your place, you can fuck him in his gym class, you can fuck him at the zoo, but you cannot fuck him in my mother's house. In my room!
Brian is silent.
DEB [OS]
We're waaaiting!
Michael looks over at the front door, then back to Brian.
MICHAEL
Okay, I'm gonna go do this little job, and then I'm going to go see Ted at the hospital. You do whatever the fuck you want.
CUT TO: EXT. CITY ROAD - NIGHT
Michael is driving. He looks in the rear view mirror at a smugly grinning Justin.
DEB [OS]
Nobody knows if it's nature or nurture, being gay.
We see her in the passenger seat.
DEB
Now they're all saying you can tell by the length of the index finger. Although, all of Michael's fingers are perfectly normal. He should have three kids and a beer belly and he's about as gay as you get!
Justin laughs.
MICHAEL
Ma, give it a rest!
Deb pouts. Justin grins.
CUT TO: EXT. JUSTIN'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Deb and Michael walk up to the door. Justin lags around the corner by the garage. Deb rings the doorbell; it's melodic. She grins.
DEB
Listen! That's nice, huh? Not like that old buzzer at our house.
Jennifer answers the door.
DEB
Oh, hi. Um ... I was admiring your chimes. You have a ... real nice place here.
JENNIFER
Well, thank you. Uh, you-you must be--
Justin barges between them and into the house.
DEB
Rude little shit, isn't he?
Jennifer stands with her hand over her heart, composing herself.
DEB
Um, I'm Debbie Novotny ... and this is my gay son, Michael.
MICHAEL
[out of the corner of his mouth] Ma!
Pause as Jennifer stares at Michael before shaking Deb's hand.
JENNIFER
I-I'm Jennifer Taylor.
Deb grins.
DEB
Jennifer.
CRAIG [OS]
Honey, who's there?
JENNIFER
[calls back] It's no one!
Michael and Deb look down. Jennifer comes further outside, pulling the door closer behind herself to hide them.
DEB
Uh, listen, uh ... if you ever need to talk to somebody, I work over at the Liberty Diner on Liberty Avenue. 'Cause I know what you're going through. The finding out. I mean, I always knew about Michael. In fact, I told him, right?
She laughs, touching Michael, who's itching his ear and giving her a 'Ma!' look.
DEB
To spare him the pain of having to tell me. So ... Jennifer ... don't ask, 'Are you?' Because it's never a question. Just say, 'I know.'
JENNIFER
Uh, thank you.
Jennifer gestures inside and leaves. Michael turns to Deb as the door closes.
MICHAEL
You had to say all that?!
DEB
I was trying to help.
MICHAEL
You try too much.
They turn and walk back down the driveway. Deb zips her coat up.
MICHAEL
You're still wearing that same old coat.
DEB
So, someday you'll buy me a mink. You're going to be a big success.
MICHAEL
Yeah, right. You'll freeze to death first.
Deb swats his head.
MICHAEL
What was that for?!
DEB
You can be such an asshole!
MICHAEL
What'd I do?!
DEB
You don't know yourself. 'Know thyself.' Some Greek said that. Who was it?
MICHAEL
Zorba?
DEB
I don't know.
She glances back at the house.
DEB
I don't know anything. Now take me home.
CUT TO: INT. TED'S HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY
Seated, Mrs. Schmidt watches Ted pack his bag.
MRS. SCHMIDT
Are you sure I can't help?
TED
I can do it. It's no big deal.
MRS. SCHMIDT
I wish you'd let me drive you home.
TED
I already asked my friends.
MRS. SCHMIDT
Michael, Emmett, Brian.
Ted looks up, surprised. He nods.
MRS. SCHMIDT
I met them while you were asleep.
TED
Oh.
MRS. SCHMIDT
They're very nice. Especially Michael.
TED
Yeah, Michael is ... especially special.
MRS. SCHMIDT
Are you two ... I mean...
TED
Oh, no. No. We, uh ... he's just a friend.
MRS. SCHMIDT
Well, he's a very good friend. He was very kind to me. I'm grateful you have him.
TED
Yeah, so am I.
MRS. SCHMIDT
Because, more than anything, I worry that you're alone. And that there's no one to look after you.
TED
I can take care of myself.
MRS. SCHMIDT
Oh, I know you can. You've always been self-sufficient. I just ... I wish you had someone to love you. I mean, if you did, maybe this wouldn't have happened.
TED
Mom, please. Let's, uh...
MRS. SCHMIDT
I'm sorry. I know that it embarrasses you if I talk too much or ... I get too emotional. But I can't help thinking that ... if you hadn't woken up ... then I would never have gotten the chance to let you know how proud I am that you're my son. And that .. and it doesn't matter to me what you are. Yeah, I got over that a long time ago. And that whenever you're feeling alone ... or that no one loves you ... that's not true ... because I do.
They're both near tears.
TED
Th-thank you ... mom, for, uh, for saying that.
CUT TO: INT. TED'S APARTMENT - DAY
Brian, Michael, Emmett and Ted walk in. Brian and Emmett are carrying paper bags of groceries and go to the kitchen. The wall clock says 11:30 a.m.
EMMETT
Now say it three times and click your heals: There's no place like home.
TED
You know, you guys really didn't have to do this. All the flowers and the groceries.
Brian and Emmett are unloading the bags. Michael holds his arms out.
MICHAEL
One stop shopping at the Big Q Mart.
TED
Oh, that's-that's nice.
He eyes the coffee table lamp Emmett moved earlier and slides it back where it began.
TED
Only, can somebody tell me why I had to stay there three days after I woke up.
EMMETT
They wanted to make sure you're still alive.
BRIAN
On your best days it's ... hard to tell.
Michael walks over to Ted.
MICHAEL
Okay, just so you don't freak out ... your dildos are missing. And your porn. We had to move it all ... in case your mom found it.
TED
Well, I expect all thirty-three back. [to Emmett and Brian] Cleaned.
Emmett laughs.
EMMETT
You should eat something, honey.
TED
I'm not hungry.
He walks toward the bedroom.
MICHAEL
We bought you a whole fucking chicken.
BRIAN
And you're gonna eat it.
In his bedroom, Ted looks around. Michael follows him.
EMMETT [OS]
Oh my god, look at this. Who-who keeps lube in their-in their front kitchen cabinet?
Ted notices Michael.
TED
It always looks so much smaller.
MICHAEL
What does?
TED
Your life. Especially after returning from a near-death experience.
MICHAEL
Like watching the Oscars. 'Immediately proceeded by...'
MICHAEL AND TED
'The Barbara Walters Special.'
They chuckle.
TED
I'm glad you're here.
MICHAEL
You are? Well, uh ... I, um...
TED
What?
MICHAEL
Um ... uh ... I'm glad you're here, too. And if you ever wanna talk about this or ... other stuff...
TED
'Other stuff?'
MICHAEL
You know, there's--oh, you know, there's something you can't talk about...
TED
Like what?
MICHAEL
I don't know. You know, maybe if you talk about it, it might help it? But, you know, you might not get what you want. But ... Oh, shit.
Ted's confused. Brian pokes his head in.
BRIAN
Are you going to come eat the chicken?
MICHAEL
I'm going to arrange the daisies.
He leaves. Brian starts to follow when Ted speaks.
TED
I saw you. Fucking.
Brian frowns and comes in the room.
TED
When I woke up. I thought ... I'm in hell. And this is my punishment--watching Brian Kinney fucking for all eternity.
Brian puts his arm around Ted's shoulder.
BRIAN
You should be so lucky.
Ted smirks. Brian slides his arm away and steps back, serious.
BRIAN
Why me? Why did you choose me?
He sits on the bed. Ted shrugs.
TED
My mother couldn't do it. Michael and Emmett ... couldn't do it. But ... you could. Because you're a heartless shit. You could pull the plug and you wouldn't cry. And you'd know when it's time to go.
He gently swats Brian's cheek as he walks away. Brian remains on the bed, gutted.
CUT TO: INT. BABYLON - NIGHT
Brian and Michael are dancing, having a good time.
BRIAN
I want it to be you.
MICHAEL
What?
BRIAN
I want it to be you. I'll put it in writing.
MICHAEL
I want it to be you, too. You pull my plug.
BRIAN
And you pull mine.
FADE TO BLACK.
***
Queer as Folk and all its characters are a property of CowLip and Showtime. No copyright infringement is intended.
+This is random, but it's bugging me. The credits list an April and Prettiest Boy--and I don't know who they are. I somehow ended up with more names than speaking parts, pffft. Isn't April (along with September) one of Daphne's friends or did I just get that from fanfic? Daph didn't have any scenes with another girl this ep, though, not even one lurking at her side with no speaking part. Hmn. Anyway, any clues who they are?
RANDOM THOUGHTS/OBSERVATIONS ON 1.04
+Right before Jennifer wakes Justin, there's a shot of Justin's bedside table with a framed picture of Justin between two blond girls. They don't look familiar. I'd say one was supposed to be Molly, but both girls look too old. I want to know, dammit. Le sigh. These are the little things I get obsessed about.
+There's a sketch of Chris cradling Justin like Rage would later do in the comic after the bashing. You can see it when Jennifer flips through Justin's sketchpad. *shivers*
+Oohoooh. In the classroom, 'yearning' is defined as Chris is looking at Justin, not the reverse.
+Mrs. Schmidt asks Michael, "If my son had been ... straight, if he had taken a woman home, do you think she would have run off and left him there to die?" Actually, yes. Exactly that could have happened. It wasn't a matter of Blake being gay or even male. It was that he was an addict. Plus, of course, at this point, we don't know that it was Blake who called the ambulance. I've known women who wouldn't have even done that.
+Chris when Justin lifts a box, "Wow, you're pretty strong." HIS AWE FOR JUSTIN'S HOT LITTLE GAY BODY OMFG.
+Deb has never done that "cute" nose-rub thing again. Yay, continuity! :|
+"People wake up from comas, sweetheart." Can so picture Deb trying to comfort Brian with that after 1.22, with the added, "Just look at Teddy!"
+Brian kissing Gus's cheek. I die. It just makes Brian's fight with himself over Ted all that more compelling. Brian is so far from being a heartless shit.
+Justin, "I gotta vomit". AS HE PUTS FOOD IN HIS MOUTH. I ♥ dramaqueen!Justin.
+A framed ballet girls painting is on Michael's bedroom wall. Let me say that again. Framed. Ballet. Girls. Painting. At that point, Deb was just trying to get him beat up at school.
+Deb, "I like Ted. There's a real sweetheart in there, somewhere." Somewhere? He's been a sweetheart from the start. That line is fucked.
+Sweet lord. The bedroom blowjob. So fucking hot. And still one of my favorite s1 scenes about the B/J dynamic. Plus the following B/M scenes--I really just love that whole mini-arc. It added a whole new level to the B/M friendship. We hadn't really seen Michael draw a line with Brian before.
+Jennifer represents the accepting mom with Joan as the opposite, so I realize the show didn't really need another viewpoint, but I still wish we'd heard more about Mrs. Schmidt. She was so happy to be able to say she'd met Ted's friends. I want to believe he made her a bigger part of his life (even if she embarrasses him). I want to see Ted giving her a tour of Kinnetik in s5.
+Things You Realize When Listening Through Earphones: After we follow Ted/Michael into the bedroom, Emmett/Brian continuing talking in the kitchen. Emmett, "Oh my god, look at this. Who-who keeps lube in their-in their front kitchen cabinet?" Um, Brian? :P I was dying to hear what Brian answered, but Ted/Michael drown them out for the rest of the scene. I need CSI audio equipment so I can separate their dialogue out, kthx.
+The cast might have still been getting their acting legs under them at this point, as I've read, but damn if Gale's facial expression isn't genius when he reacts to why Ted picked Brian. He's just so gutted and stunned and omg. Galeface!!1 ♥
+Babylon needs a bigger costume budget. There are two different nights at Babylon and each time the go-go boys are sailors. :|
NOTES
+CowLip and Showtime's boys and girls.
+Feel free to save to your computer, but please don't repost anywhere.
+Archived here by the fantabulous paddies.
+Spot an error? Please leave a comment or e-mail me, and I'll look into it.
+Comments are welcome.
QUEER AS FOLK
1.04
WRITTEN BY: Richard Kramer
DIRECTED BY: Kevin Inch
ORIGINAL AIRDATE: December 17, 2000
TRANSCRIBED BY: url_girl
SUMMARY: While Ted lies in a drug-induced coma, Brian learns he's named the executor of his friend's living will. Also, Justin's mother suspects the truth about her son's sexuality and Michael and Emmett try to remove incriminating evidence from Ted's apartment but discover Ted's longtime crush on Michael.
FADE IN: INT. LIBERTY DINER - DAY
Pan across various dishes at the counter then over to a booth. Brian on the left, Michael and Emmett on the right. They're eating breakfast, subdued.
MICHAEL [VO]
In case you weren't there, I gotta tell ya, last Saturday night at Babylon was ... to die for.
EMMETT [OS]
Would somebody please say something?
MICHAEL
Okay. So it's late, and I'm leaving Babylon and there's this really hot guy.
FLASH CUT: INT. BABYLON - NIGHT
Dancing go-go boys. Michael appears in the crowd. A second later, HOT GUY comes up from behind and starts talking. Michael turns his head toward him and grins.
MICHAEL [VO]
And he's, like, perfect.
FLASH CUT: INT. LIBERTY DINER - DAY
BRIAN
How perfect?
MICHAEL
Perfect. And we end up ... [takes a bite of eggs] at my place.
FLASH CUT: INT. MICHAEL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Standing in the living room, Michael is kissing Hot Guy's neck.
HOT GUY
So I work with emotionally disturbed kids, and I really love it. And I'm the captain of the gay water polo team.
MICHAEL
You're really well-rounded.
He squeezes Hot Guy's ass.
FLASH CUT: INT. LIBERTY DINER - DAY
MICHAEL
So, we're making out, and in my mind I'm picturing him in a Speedo with a flag on it.
FLASH CUT: INT. MICHAEL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
HOT GUY
Oh, say, have you ever been to Brazil?
MICHAEL
Um, n-no. Have you?
He unbuckles Hot Guy's belt/pants.
HOT GUY
I just came back. It's fabulous.
Michael whips his own shirt off over his head.
MICHAEL
Great beaches, I hear.
He goes to his knees.
HOT GUY
Yeah. Only, they have these things.
MICHAEL
Things?
HOT GUY
Parasite things. They live in the sand and they sort of ... burrow themselves right up in there.
Michael quickly stands, freaked.
MICHAEL [VO]
He had them.
FLASH CUT: INT. LIBERTY DINER - DAY
MICHAEL
Brazilian beach parasites, in his ass.
Emmett laughs.
EMMETT
Oh, god. Well, at least you found out before you got too far.
Michael shudders.
BRIAN
[to Emmett] What about you?
EMMETT
We were just getting started.
FLASH CUT: INT. WEIRD GUY'S BEDROOM
We follow the camera across a blood red bedroom filled with a hundred lit candles, a leather/metal-clad torso dummy, whips on the wall, white bed and a chain headboard. A bald man in leathers and spiked metal collar, WEIRD GUY, is fitting Emmett into a leather body harness.
EMMETT
I feel like a 1991 Madonna video. Uh, do you have this in a size larger?
Weird Guy cinches the back of the harness hard, rocking Emmett.
WEIRD GUY
Can we hurry this along? I've got a bride and groom to do in the morning.
EMMETT
So you're bi?
WEIRD GUY
No. They're dead. Car crash.
He pushes Emmett onto the bed and grabs his legs in the air.
FLASH CUT: INT. LIBERTY DINER - DAY
MICHAEL
You went home with...
EMMETT
An undertaker. Mm-hmm.
BRIAN
I fucked an undertaker once.
MICHAEL
You did? When?
BRIAN
He told me sometimes they sew the mouths shut.
EMMETT
What about you, Brian? What'd you do?
Long pause.
FLASH CUT: INT. LOFT - NIGHT
A nude Justin sits on the bed, watching an equally nude Brian walk toward him. Brian drops onto his knees on the bed and they kiss.
FLASH CUT: INT. LIBERTY DINER - DAY
BRIAN
I made it an early evening.
EMMETT
You know, um, when I go ... promise you won't let them sew my mouth shut. Because when I get to heaven, and I meet Natalie Wood, I wanna be able to say, 'Natalie, it's Emmett. What happened that night?!'
They all laugh.
DEB [OS]
Hey!
She's standing at the table with a serious face, serving tray in hand.
DEB
Shouldn't you boys be getting to the hospital?
She walks away. Their smiles fade.
CUT TO: INT. HOSPITAL - DAY
Ted, in a bed and on oxygen, looks asleep.
MICHAEL [OS]
Schmidt, Ted.
NURSE [OS]
Are you family?
INT. NURSE'S STATION
Brian, Emmett and Michael stand at the desk.
MICHAEL
Friends. Uh, we know he's, like, in a coma and everything. We just would like to be with him for a little while, if that's okay.
NURSE
I'll see.
She walks away.
EMMETT
The nurse's station. I used to think it had something to do with radio. 'All nursing, all the time.'
They chuckle.
MRS. SCHMIDT [OS]
Hello.
We pan to the right and see a nicely dressed woman, MRS. SCHMIDT, sitting along the row of chairs against the wall.
MRS. SCHMIDT
I'm Margaret Schmidt. I'm Ted's mother.
They look at her. Michael walks over.
MRS. SCHMIDT
If you need permission to see him, I'll give it. I've ... I'm sure he'd appreciate it.
MICHAEL
I'm Michael. And this is Emmett [gestures] and Brian [gestures]. We're Ted's friends.
MRS. SCHMIDT
He's still in the coma. He looks like he did when he was a boy. When he slept. They don't think he'll come out of it.
Emmett looks back at Brian. Michael sits by Mrs. Schmidt.
MRS. SCHMIDT
I sat by his bed ... all night. About five o'clock in the morning it occurred to me ... loving someone's not the same as knowing them.
Brian looks away. And spots a hot MALE NURSE in the room behind the nurse's station. As the sound of orgasmic moans start in the background, Brian watches him walk by and Male Nurse smiles, interested. Michael sees the exchange.
MICHAEL
Brian!
Brian turns back around to see them all staring at him. He looks away, chastised.
CUT TO: INT. JUSTIN'S BEDROOM - DAY
Bedside table clock reads 8:09 a.m. Bare chested, Justin is sleeping face down under the comforter.
JENNIFER [OS]
Justin?
Knock on the door.
JENNIFER [OS]
Justin, you're late.
Justin lifts his head a little and 'hmphs' as he wakes up. Jennifer walks in.
JUSTIN [OS]
You're right.
Tossing the comforter, he rolls over and up.
JUSTIN
I'm up, I'm up.
JENNIFER
You got ten minutes.
She starts making his bed.
JUSTIN
I'm taking a shower, okay?
He walks off-screen. The sound of running water. Jennifer spots his open backpack on the bed. After a glance at the bathroom, she pulls out Justin's sketchpad. Another glance the bathroom's way and she opens the pad. Inside are drawings of a football player (#68 - Chris Hobbs).
First page: the football player a) talking to a figure b) holding a male figure in his arms. Second page: close-ups of the football player's face. Third page is blank. Fourth/fifth page: more of the football player in uniform, full body. Sixth page is men: chests, abs, asses. Seventh page is covered with Brian's name.
Jennifer puts the sketchpad back. She stands still, closing her eyes. Justin's voice startles her.
JUSTIN [OS]
I'm out of shampoo.
JENNIFER
I'll get you some.
She leaves. The clock reads 8:10 a.m.
CUT TO: INT. HOSPITAL - DAY
Emmett, Brian and Michael looking into Ted's room from the door window. Inside, Male Nurse is tending to Ted. Lifting the bed rail, he sees them and walks over to slide shut the curtain.
EMMETT
Who do you think it was? I mean, who, uh, gave him the drugs.
MICHAEL
I bet it was that guy Blake who was cruising him all night.
EMMETT
Think we should tell someone?
BRIAN
No.
Long beat.
MICHAEL
His mom said she'd call us if there was any change.
BRIAN
You know, he's a first. The first almost dead guy I sort of had sex with.
MICHAEL
You had sex with Ted?
EMMETT
You never had sex with Ted.
MICHAEL
When did you have sex with T--
BRIAN
Sort of sex. At this semi-orgy.
MICHAEL
Semi? When?
BRIAN
You know that weekend that John-John's plane went down?
EMMETT
Oh ... god. They kept showing him on the beach with his shirt off. I didn't know whether to jerk off or weep.
MICHAEL
So did-so did you, like, plan it?
BRIAN
It just sort of happened. Things do.
Emmett laughs.
BRIAN
It was Scott and Kevin, the Todds.
Emmett holds up his pinkie finger.
BRIAN
And Ted shows up with my taxes, and all the sudden we're all doing it and ... he even tried to fuck me.
MICHAEL
He's in there. His life's like this [gestures up and down], dot on a screen. And that could be us.
BRIAN
No, it could not be us. Because we know better. We know not to believe pretty little blond boys who tell you it's 'really good shit.' Because that's what they all say. Ted didn't know that. And he didn't know that you only do drugs with your friends because they're the only ones who give a fuck about you.
He puts a hand on each of their shoulders.
BRIAN
Now I've got to go to work. I have to be brilliant.
CUT TO: INT. ST. JAMES ACADEMY - DAY
Middle-aged teacher, MR. HORNER, stands at the blackboard where a large black and white photo of a man hangs.
MR. HORNER
F. Scott Fitzgerald. Classic profile, famously handsome.
He gestures with a book he's holding.
MR. HORNER
And The Great Gatsby.
He sits on the edge of his desk. View of the classroom and we see Justin, chin down, at his desk in the back. Chris Hobbs sits one aisle over to the right.
MR. HORNER [OS]
Which captures a particular American yearning.
Shot of Chris that pans down to the back of a male figure Justin is drawing in his sketchpad.
MR. HORNER
And what do I mean by that, hmm?
Daphne, at Justin's left and seeing the drawing, giggles. Justin grins in reaction but doesn't look up.
MR. HORNER
Justin?
Justin looks up, startled. The class turns to look at him. Close-up on Chris.
JUSTIN [OS]
Uh, yearning is when you want something really badly.
Back to Justin.
JUSTIN
Like ... so bad it hurts.
Chris looks from Justin back to Mr. Horner.
MR. HORNER
Exactly. It needs to hurt to be worthy of the word.
Back to Chris.
MR. HORNER [OS]
Otherwise, it's just wanting.
Justin drawing.
MR. HORNER [OS]
It's represented in The Gatsby by the green light across the water.
Close-up of Justin's eyes as he stares at Chris.
MR. HORNER [OS]
You can see it, but you can't touch it.
Chris friend-punches the arm of the guy in front of him. They trade punches.
MR. HORNER [OS]
Mr. Hobbs!
Tossing the book down, he walks over.
MR. HORNER
Mr. Hobbs, are your parents really paying for you to have another testosterone outburst?
CHRIS
I wasn't doing anything.
MR. HORNER
Exactly. But you will be after school.
CHRIS
I have football practice.
Justin is listening intently.
MR. HORNER
Not today. Today you'll be cleaning out the athletic room. The only thing we fight about in this room, Mr. Hobbs ... is interpretation.
CUT TO: INT. HOSPITAL - DAY
Michael and Emmett walk up to Mrs. Schmidt. She's sitting, reading a magazine.
MICHAEL
Mrs. Schmidt, we're going to work. I-if you want, you can call me on my cell phone if...
MRS. SCHMIDT
They said ... he took an overdose of a-a drug I've never heard of.
EMMETT
Well, h-he wasn't a-a drug user.
MICHAEL
He must have met someone that night. And-and took him home.
MRS. SCHMIDT
May I ask you something, Michael?
MICHAEL
Sure.
Mrs. Schmidt stands.
MRS. SCHMIDT
If my son had been ... straight, if he had taken a woman home, do you think she would have run off and left him there to die?
She grabs her purse and leaves.
CUT TO: INT. ST. JAMES ACADEMY - DAY
Chris is cleaning the equipment room. We pull back and see Justin standing there, watching.
JUSTIN
Need some help?
Chris turns.
CHRIS
This sucks.
JUSTIN
Yeah. They need you at practice.
He walks further in the room.
CHRIS
How do you know they do? I thought you weren't into, like, sports and shit.
JUSTIN
Some.
CHRIS
Yeah, well, you sure keep it a secret. I'm supposed to get all this shit cleaned up outta here.
Justin picks up a box of equipment and sets it on the table.
CHRIS
Wow, you're pretty strong.
JUSTIN
It's my other secret.
He grins.
CUT TO: INT. RYDER ADVERTISING - DAY
Brian at his desk, looking at some copy. He tosses it on the desk.
BRIAN
I can't do this fucking copy.
MELANIE [OS]
Excuse me for barging in.
She strides in and slams her briefcase down on Brian's desk.
MELANIE
This won't take long. As you may or may not know, I'm Ted's lawyer.
BRIAN
So?
MELANIE
So, you need to know Ted made a living will. Do you have one?
BRIAN
No.
MELANIE
Well, you should.
She holds out some papers from a folder for him to take.
MELANIE
But, I'm not your lawyer, I'm his.
When Brian doesn't take the papers, she drops them on his desk.
MELANIE
Anyway, he's made you responsible.
BRIAN
For what?
MELANIE
For deciding should he ever be incompetent or unable to make a decision whether to be kept alive by extraordinary measures or ... be permitted to die.
BRIAN
Are you telling me that Ted wants me to decide whether or not to pull the plug?
MELANIE
I tried to talk him out of it.
BRIAN
And how long have you known about this?
MELANIE
It doesn't matter how long.
BRIAN
Yeah, it does. I'm this secret you two have been sharing. When were you planning on telling me?
MELANIE
I was hoping I wouldn't have to. That the situation would never arise.
BRIAN
Well, it has! It's arisen now.
MELANIE
And now you know.
CUT TO: INT. ST. JAMES ACADEMY - DAY
Equipment room. Chris is sitting on a mat. He catches the Pepsi Justin tosses at him. He pops it open and it foams out. Still standing, Justin watches. Chris takes a drink, shaking his hand of the foam. Justin is quiet. Chris offers him a drink. Their hands touch as they trade off and time slows. We see the red Babylon stamp on the back of Justin's right hand. The camera pans down, signaling a time jump, and Justin is sitting beside Chris.
CHRIS
Suzanne Shepley, big whore. She'll blow you, but she won't fuck if you're in this school. Only if you go somewhere else, preferably Catholic.
JUSTIN
She seemed like a dyke to me.
CHRIS
Oh, man, she's not a dyke. She's a whore. There's a difference.
They laugh. Long pause as Chris looks at Justin's profile.
CHRIS
So you know Mary Francis Cottallutto? So, she comes over to interview me for the school paper about being this great athlete and shit. And it's four o'clock and my mom won't be home till six. So I tell her what a touchdown is like, and she grabs my dick.
JUSTIN
No!
CHRIS
Oh, yeah, she went for it. Not only that, she unzips my fly.
He slides his leg down and starts to rub himself, eyes closed. Justin swallows as he watches.
CHRIS
She's got my dick and she's got all these rings on. They're cold, but her hand's warm. She's rubbing ... and rubbing. Oh, yeah. And then she's gotta go home. You know, and I'm there. And I'm...
JUSTIN
You're hard.
Chris says nothing, eyes still closed. Justin reaches over and rubs Chris's cock. Then he unzips and slides his hand inside to slowly jerk him off. Chris pants and moans. Justin grins and goes faster. After Chris comes, Justin's smile fades and he pulls his hand away. In that instant, the door opens.
CHRIS
Shit.
He zips his pants without Mr. Horner seeing as he walks in.
MR. HORNER
Shouldn't you be working?
CHRIS
I, uh, I am working, Mr. Horner.
He quickly gets up. Justin grins.
CUT TO: INT. WORLD GYM - DAY
Steam room with towel-clad men. We follow NAKED GUY to find Emmett and Michael lounging in the corner.
NAKED GUY #1
Hey, guys.
NAKED GUY #2
Hey.
Emmett watches Naked Guy pass.
EMMETT
How come I can't get my gluts to look like that?
MICHAEL
Maybe you're not properly visualizing the muscle group.
EMMETT
Oh, I'm visualizing it all right. On my face.
They laugh. Brian appears and takes the seat in front of them.
BRIAN
Why me? Why not his mother? [to Emmett] Why not you?
EMMETT
Because I can't decide what to wear in the morning. Who, in their right mind, would give me power of life and death?
MICHAEL
I couldn't do it, either.
BRIAN
I don't even like Ted.
MICHAEL
Oh, come on. You do so.
BRIAN
Well, not enough to be responsible for his fucking life.
EMMETT
Well, he must have wanted you for a reason.
MICHAEL
Maybe he's secretly in love with you.
BRIAN
I love you. I'm comatose. Kill me.
MICHAEL
It's not over yet, Brian. He could still wake up.
Brian looks at him.
CUT TO: INT. JUSTIN'S ROOM - DAY
Justin (in casual clothes) and Daphne (in her school uniform) are laying on the bed with the stereo playing.
DAPHNE
Chris?
She laughs.
DAPHNE
No way!
Grinning, Justin makes a jerking off gesture.
JUSTIN
Then don't believe me.
DAPHNE
But I thought you were in love with that Brian guy.
JUSTIN
Me and Chris? That's not love, Daph. That's just fucking.
She laughs.
DAPHNE
Oh, and I thought it was detention.
They laugh.
JENNIFER [OS]
Justin?
Daphne sits up.
DAPHNE
Oh, I gotta go.
She gets her backpack. Justin goes to the stereo.
DAPHNE
Hi, Mrs. Taylor.
Jennifer grins.
JENNIFER
Hi, Daphne.
Daphne leaves. Jennifer looks at her watch.
JENNIFER
Didn't you have art club this afternoon?
JUSTIN
I quit art club.
Justin stops the CD playing.
JENNIFER
You love art club.
JUSTIN
I'm not interested.
JENNIFER
Since when? Just last week--
JUSTIN
You don't know everything about me. A week's, like, a long time. Things can change in a week.
JENNIFER
Well, I thought you might like to know I'm going to Niketown, but you're probably not interested in that, either.
JUSTIN
When?
JENNIFER
Now. And you can drive.
Justin follows her out.
CUT TO: INT. LIBERTY AVENUE DINER - DAY
Michael walks in and watches Deb behind the counter, clearing dishes. She rubs her nose in a cute way and Michael smiles. Deb looks up and sees him. She grins and waves, going over to him, rubbing her nose again. Michael keeps grinning at her.
DEB
What?
MICHAEL
Just the thing you do with your hand.
He does her nose-rub twice.
MICHAEL
Like this.
Deb grins.
DEB
I do that, huh?
MICHAEL
Yeah, you do.
DEB
Well, you should know.
MICHAEL
Yeah.
They're quiet. Deb leans over, pats his hand.
DEB
People wake up from comas, sweetheart.
MICHAEL
Yeah, sure.
DEB
Your Uncle Vic. How long was he in his?
MICHAEL
Nine days?
DEB
Ten. And I thought I'd lost him. I couldn't tell your grandmother it was AIDS at the time because she couldn't have dealt with it. I wanted to hear all about the white light and the-the tunnel and-and-and did Aunt Teresa get to heaven. First words out of his mouth: 'Did I miss the Golden Globes?'
She laughs, Michael smiles. She leans forward again.
DEB
So, how is he?
MICHAEL
The same. No change. [beat] I'm gonna go back a little later. I thought I'd take something to his mom.
Deb gets emotional and comes around the counter to grab his head and kiss him. She walks back behind the counter.
MICHAEL
What was that for?
Deb dismisses it with a wave and gets a Styrofoam container off a shelf, then the lemon bars.
DEB
Turkey meatloaf. Lemon bars. They're great today.
CUT TO: EXT. RESIDENTIAL ROAD - DAY
Justin driving, Jennifer in the passenger seat.
JENNIFER
You're a good driver.
JUSTIN
Better than you.
He laughs and after a second, so does Jennifer. She touches the dashboard.
JENNIFER
Okay, slow down. This is a bit too fast.
Justin looks/points to the speedometer.
JUSTIN
This is normal. And you just said I was a good driver.
Jennifer smiles at him.
JUSTIN
What?
JENNIFER
Nothing. It's just nice. You laughed. It's been a while.
JUSTIN
You know, maybe you could get another car. Let me have this for school.
JENNIFER
Oh, just hand it over, huh? I was twenty before I had a car. I was going out with Jay McLaughlin. He could have been your father.
JUSTIN
That's stupid. I wouldn't be me.
JENNIFER
He was my first real boyfriend.
JUSTIN
I'd be totally someone else.
JENNIFER
Learned with him what a kiss really was.
Justin makes a face.
JUSTIN
Gross!
Jennifer laughs.
JUSTIN
Don't tell me. I don't want to know.
JENNIFER
Well, now you do.
Justin grins. Jennifer looks at the Babylon stamp on his hand.
JENNIFER
So, do you have a boyfriend, Justin?
Flash-cut to a shocked Justin. Long pause.
JENNIFER
You can tell me. I promise you, I won't tell your father.
JUSTIN
I don't.
JENNIFER
Then who's Brian?
Justin shoots her a shocked look. He pulls over, shuts the car off and opens the door.
JENNIFER
Justin.
He runs away.
JENNIFER
Justin!
CUT TO: INT. HOSPITAL - DAY
Chapel. Michael walks in with the diner food. He clears his throat.
MICHAEL
Mrs. Schmidt?
Sitting in the front row before a cross, Mrs. Schmidt turns and smiles.
MRS. SCHMIDT
Michael.
MICHAEL
I don't mean to bug you. Uh, I brought you this. It's from my mom. I ... meatloaf and lemons bars. The lemon bars are really good.
He hands her the container.
MRS. SCHMIDT
There's, um, still no change.
Michael sits across the aisle from her.
MRS. SCHMIDT
They're watching and waiting, so ... I thought I'd take a small break.
MICHAEL
Well, I'm sure you could use one.
MRS. SCHMIDT
He mentioned a Michael. I said, um, 'Tell me the name of one special friend.' And he said, 'Well, there's a Michael.' Thank you for the food, dear. I'll, uh, stay a bit longer and then I'll go to his condo tonight.
MICHAEL
His ... condo?
MRS. SCHMIDT
Oh, for pajamas. I don't know if he even wears them, but ... if he does, he'll need them when, um...
She stands to go after palming Michael's cheek. Michael waits until she's walking away before pulling out his cell phone.
CUT TO: INT. TORSO - DAY
Emmett is folding clothes with a phone headset on.
EMMETT
Torso.
SPLIT SCREEN SHOT:
Emmett at Torso.
Michael in the chapel.
MICHAEL
It's me.
EMMETT
Oh my god, is he dead?
MICHAEL
No, but he's gonna wish he was when he finds out his mom's going to his condo tonight for pajamas.
Emmett laughs.
EMMETT
Oh, shit! What if she finds his porn?
MICHAEL
And his magazines. And remember his thirty-third birthday last year--
Emmett laughs.
EMMETT
When we gave him those thirty-three dildos. That was hilarious.
MICHAEL
Well, it's not so funny anymore. We gotta go there and find all thirty-three.
EMMETT
Wait!
MICHAEL
What?
EMMETT
What if he's given some as hostess gifts?
MICHAEL
Wha--?
CUT TO: INT. LINDSAY AND MELANIE'S HOUSE - DAY
Lindsay, Gus in hand, goes to answer the knock on the door. It's Brian. He removes his sunglasses and comes in.
BRIAN
I don't have a lot of time.
He shuts the door and walks away.
LINDSAY
You have time to kiss your son.
She follows and hands Gus to him. Brian relaxes and kisses Gus's cheek. We hear someone coming down the stairs.
MELANIE [OS]
Hey, honey, his bath's ready.
She stops at the base of the stairs, seeing Brian. Brian hands Gus back to Lindsay.
MELANIE
Oh. Did we know he was coming?
BRIAN
No, we did not know.
MELANIE
Well, it'd be nice if you'd call first. As I said, his bath's ready, so if you want me to take him up--
Brian swings around to face Melanie, agitated.
BRIAN
I don't give a shit what Ted wants. I'm not doing it, do you understand?
MELANIE
I told him you'd be this way.
BRIAN
He has a mother.
MELANIE
Yeah, would you wish this on yours?
BRIAN
He has better friends.
MELANIE
Well that's for goddamn sure!
Gus starts to cry.
LINDSAY
[disapproving] Melanie, would you please...
MELANIE
Look, did I barge in here at bath time? Was that me?
BRIAN
Fuck bath time and fuck you!
MELANIE
Hey, fuck you!
LINDSAY
Just stop it, both of you.
BRIAN
So, let's cut to the chase. Find somebody else. His mommy, or Michael or Madonna. I don't care who.
LINDSAY
But he chose you.
BRIAN
Well, he chose wrong.
MELANIE
Yeah, that's what I said to him. I said, 'Brian is not the person you want responsible for your life. He's a selfish, narcissistic little fucking faggot!' And let me tell you something, it's not because you suck cock, it's because you're a little fucking coward! So go, get out, now!
Brian stares at her, then looks to Lindsay. Her expression and a helpless shake of her head says he should just go. Brian looks at Melanie again, then goes to the door. Melanie shadows him, slamming the door once he's gone. Lindsay takes a few steps closer.
LINDSAY
You had no right talking to him that way.
Melanie turns.
MELANIE
No right? Ted is lying there, on life support. He's probably never going to wake up and he is depending on Brian to show him the decency, the kindness to release him.
Lindsay closes the distance between them.
LINDSAY
That's all the more reason to be kind. After all, he's the one who has to do it. Think how hard it must be. What if it were one of us? If it was me lying there and you had to pull the plug?
Melanie shakes her head, affected.
MELANIE
I'm not sure I could.
LINDSAY
Maybe that's why you're so angry at him. Because you know if it were you, you'd be as scared and angry as he is.
They lean their foreheads together.
CUT TO: INT. BABYLON - DAY
Backroom. Brian grabs Trick #1 to kiss. The trick slides down while two more tricks join in, touching and licking Brian's body. After a minute, Brian grabs the chin of Trick #2, looks at him, then pushes him away. He shoves the other tricks away and pulls his leather jacket back up onto his shoulders and walk-stumbles a few steps. Puts on his sunglasses and goes out the back door.
CUT TO: EXT. DAPHNE'S HOUSE - DAY
Justin and Daphne stand in the driveway behind a car. Justin is smoking.
JUSTIN
She knows! My mom knows!
DAPHNE
Holy shit!
JUSTIN
I've got to find Brian.
DAPHNE
What for?
JUSTIN
He'll know what to do.
DAPHNE
Like he cares.
JUSTIN
He wants me!
DAPHNE
How can you tell?
JUSTIN
Because I can. I'm gonna live with him. I'm gonna be with him. You'll see. Now, please, you've got to help me.
DAPHNE
I'm grounded.
JUSTIN
[soft] Oh, fuck.
He takes a drag off his cigarette.
DAPHNE
My mom said she'd better come home and find me reading Toni Morrison.
Justin gives her puppy eyes. Daphne sighs. Beat.
DAPHNE
Well, they don't get home until seven. And you do beat Beloved.
Justin is grinning as he throws his cigarette down. They get in the car.
CUT TO: INT. TED'S APARTMENT - DAY
Sound of a key in a lock. Emmett and Michael walk in. Emmett slides the coffee table lamp over a few inches.
EMMETT
That's better. I'm always telling him not everything in life needs to be centered.
Michael is in the kitchen, frantic.
MICHAEL
We can redecorate later. His mother's coming.
He opens the refrigerator.
MICHAEL
Poppers.
He tosses the vial over his shoulder to Emmett.
EMMETT
Oop!
Michael tosses more packages that Emmett catches.
MICHAEL
Cheddar. Uh, Brie.
EMMETT
I don't think there are particularly strong shame issues attached to cheese, Michael.
MICHAEL
Fine! Whatever. You check out the bedroom. I'll work out here.
EMMETT
Okay.
Emmett goes off. Michael throws things away in the kitchen, then rushes to the front room. At the TV stand, he goes through drawers of video tapes, sorting out the porn.
MICHAEL
Falcon ... Falcon... You've Got Mail. He masturbates to Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks?
A dildo comes sailing through the air, hitting him in the head.
MICHAEL
Ow!
More dildos come flying.
EMMETT
Found 'em!
Michael catches a huge one.
MICHAEL
God! Jesus, look at this one.
Emmett jumps into the room, holding another huge dildo like a sword.
EMMETT
Ha!
They start dueling.
MICHAEL
Touché!
Emmett jabs at Michael's butt.
EMMETT
In this case, tushy.
MICHAEL
Whoo!
More dueling, then Emmett stabs Michael in the chest. Making dying noises, Michael falls on the couch, Emmett following to sit hard on his lap.
EMMETT
Dead! Right through the heart!
Emmett jumps up to head back to the bedroom.
EMMETT
All right. There's, like, a million of 'em in there. And we've gotta find them all.
Michael gets up.
MICHAEL
We must.
He rounds up the thrown dildos and porn tapes off the floor, following Emmett into the bedroom. After tossing them onto the bed, he starts going through Ted's dresser, while Emmett opens a locker. Taped to the inside of the door are about twenty pictures of Michael: candids, smiling with Ted, working at the computer, making funny faces, bare chested.
EMMETT
Michael? Come here.
Michael walks over. He goes solemn, seeing the pictures. They trade a look.
CUT TO: EXT. BRIAN'S LOFT - NIGHT
Justin repeatedly buzzing the loft's intercom. He tries the locked door.
JUSTIN
Shit! Fuck!
He backs up into the street, screaming up at the loft.
JUSTIN
Brian! Brian!
MAN [OS]
Shut up!
Across the street, Daphne honks her car horn and leans out the window.
DAPHNE
Justin, I gotta go home.
Justin looks back at her, then up at the loft, before crossing the street.
JUSTIN
But, I-I have to find him.
DAPHNE
Well, what about the crazy lady?
JUSTIN
What crazy lady?
DAPHNE
You know, the weird one ... from the diner.
JUSTIN
You mean Debbie?
CUT TO: INT. WOODY'S - NIGHT
We pan by a guy playing pool to Michael and Emmett sitting at a table with beers.
MICHAEL
So what do you think it means?
EMMETT
I think it means he likes you.
MICHAEL
I think it means he loves me.
Emmett takes a drink.
EMMETT
Kind of flattering, in a way. He collects you the way you collect comics.
MICHAEL
It's just that ... all this time, I ... I never knew.
EMMETT
There's a lot of things we don't know about each other. Like, did you know ... I used to walk down the street in Hazelhurst, Mississippi, and the postman would spit at me.
MICHAEL
I don't know where my father was born. Or ... even who he is.
EMMETT
I sat with my dead grandma for an hour ... and held her hand ... before I told anyone she was dead.
Michael reaches for his hand.
EMMETT
How come we never tell each other these things, huh?
He takes Michael's hand.
CUT TO: INT. DEB'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Deb with a hand on her hip, having answered the door to find Justin.
DEB
Don't tell me. Brian. Am I right?
Justin nods. Deb softens.
DEB
Come on in. I'll make you a sandwich.
She walks away. Justin comes in, closing the door.
JUSTIN
Actually, I just need to know how I can--
DEB
And don't talk. I can figure it all out.
She goes to the wall phone, motioning Justin to the kitchen table.
DEB
Have a seat, honey. Right there.
She punches in a number as Justin sits.
DEB
Michael?
Justin whips his head around.
DEB
It's me. You've got male.
Justin deflates.
CUT TO: INT. BRIAN'S LOFT - NIGHT
Lindsay in the loft. Brian, fresh from the shower in his robe and holding a drink, slides the door shut. He walks to the kitchen, Lindsay following.
LINDSAY
I just want you to know Melanie feels terrible about what she said.
BRIAN
Do you think I care?
Adds ice to his drink.
LINDSAY
Look, it's upsetting for all of us. But at a time like this we could try showing a little compassion. Especially for Ted. Is there any word?
BRIAN
The machines say he's still alive.
LINDSAY
Poor guy.
BRIAN
What about us? We don't have any beeps or wires with little white dots telling us we're alive, so how do we know? I guess we just take each other's word.
LINDSAY
Maybe we know from what people expect from us. I mean, take Gus. He needs me to feed him, to change him. Knowing that tells me I'm alive. So, for me, right now, it's him.
BRIAN
What about me?
Lindsay closes the distance between them.
LINDSAY
Ted needs you now. So maybe that's what tells you you're alive.
Brian exhales and looks down. Lindsay holds his face.
LINDSAY
You'll do the right thing. Whatever it is.
Her hands slide away.
BRIAN
You don't know that.
CUT TO: INT. TED'S HOSPITAL ROOM - NIGHT
Slow pan up the bed, a machine beeping. Brian's hand comes into view and hovers over Ted's face.
BRIAN
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. For going home with some tweaked out little twinkie and thinking you got lucky.
He leans down.
BRIAN
Did he let you eat his ass? Did he let you suck his cock? Well, I hope it was worth it. And fuck you for choosing me. I ought to let you lie here forever. How'd you like that? Can you hear me? [long pause] You know, you're not so bad looking. In fact ... you look better like this. You should die more often. Or live. So that I don't have to say yes. Yes, I'll do it. I'll give you what you want. What you need. But don't think it's for you. It's not. It's for me.
A hand on his shoulder makes Brian turn. It's Male Nurse. They face each other for a second, then start kissing and stripping. Male Nurse lays on an empty bed. Brian pushes his pants to his ankles and jumps on top of him. Moans. The camera pans back to Ted's bed as he begins to wake up.
MALE NURSE [OS]
[whispered] Oh, yeah.
More moans and grunts. Ted moves his head, following the noise.
TED
Jesus.
CUT TO: INT. DEB'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Justin eating a sandwich.
MICHAEL [OS]
This is my house. You've got your own. Go home.
JUSTIN
[mouth full] I can't.
MICHAEL
What?
JUSTIN
[mouth full, articulating] I can't. My mom knows.
Shot widens and we see Vic at the kitchen table with Justin. Deb and Michael are standing.
DEB
Well, she could go to my PFLAG group at the Center every other Tuesday. I'll get her a t-shirt and a button.
MICHAEL
Ma, please!
DEB
Ma, please, what? I am proud to have a gay son.
MICHAEL
We know!
DEB
And brother.
She encircles Vic from behind.
VIC
Thanks, sis.
He takes his pills with water.
DEB
I've always said it isn't who you love, it's how you love. Genitalia is simply God's way of accessorizing.
MICHAEL
This is not about you and the Gay Mother of the Year award. This is about Brian's one night stand.
Justin shakes his head.
JUSTIN
[mouth full] Not just one.
MICHAEL
Don't bet on it. And who here even cares?!
VIC
I do.
JUSTIN
My dad threatened to disown me. He called me a big queer.
VIC
He didn't hit you, did he?
MICHAEL
Oh, come on, Uncle Vic. You're not gonna listen to this shit!
JUSTIN
That's why I have to see Brian. He'll let me stay with him.
MICHAEL
I don't think so.
JUSTIN
Well, then ... I'll go to New York! I'll become a hustler, and I'll sell my body to gross old homos!
Vic leans in.
VIC
I'll give you twenty bucks.
Deb swats his head. Vic turns to her.
VIC
Save him the train fare.
JUSTIN
I'm gonna throw up. I gotta vomit.
He stands, putting more sandwich in his mouth. Deb points up.
DEB
Upstairs bathroom. The one for guests and drama queens.
Justin jogs off. Vic and Michael laugh.
DEB
It's not a joke, you know. Gay teens have a very high suicide rate.
MICHAEL
Unfortunately not this one.
He enters a number into his cell phone. Deb smacks his arm; he snorts and puts the phone to his ear.
INT. MICHAEL'S ROOM
Justin walks in, looking around. He grins, seeing the corkboard with the picture of Brian and Michael as teenagers. He reaches for it.
INT. KITCHEN
Deb at the sink, Michael and Vic eating sandwiches at the table.
DEB
I'm calling his mother.
MICHAEL
It's none of our business.
DEB
He may be telling the truth, and even if he isn't, she's got to be worried.
VIC
She's not worried. Now she knows. It's not drugs. It's not booze. He didn't buy an automatic weapon to take down to the Spanish club. It's just cock.
Amused, Deb turns, hand on hip. Vic laughs.
Sound of the front door closing.
BRIAN [OS]
Hi.
He walks in.
BRIAN
[to Deb] How did he find you?
Deb throws her hands up. Brian walks over to grip Vic's shoulder in greeting.
MICHAEL
They all find her. And now he won't leave. You gotta do something.
BRIAN
Like what?
MICHAEL
Like get him out of my house! He's upstairs.
Brian frowns and turns.
BRIAN
All right. I'm going.
MICHAEL
This is not how I wanted to spend my evening.
Brian stops and grins back at them.
BRIAN
By the way ... Ted woke up. He's going to be okay.
Brian runs up the stairs. Everyone is relieved at the news. Deb crosses herself.
INT. MICHAEL'S ROOM
Justin looking down at the photo. He hears the door close behind him and smiles to himself before turning to face Brian.
BRIAN
What are you doing here?
JUSTIN
Waiting for you.
INT. KITCHEN
Michael, Deb, and Vic at the table.
DEB
Well, it's a relief. I'll say that. I like Ted. There's a real sweetheart in there, somewhere.
Michael is staring into space.
DEB
Michael?
INT. MICHAEL'S ROOM
Twice, Justin tries to go in for a kiss. Brian dodges the first time, pushes Justin's chest back the second time. When Justin stands still is when Brian finally pulls him in for a couple kisses.
INT. KITCHEN
Michael looks up at the ceiling.
INT. MICHAEL'S ROOM
One more kiss and Justin goes to his knees. Unbuttons Brian's jeans, then rises for more kisses. Brian whips Justin's shirt off. More kissing. Justin sinks downward and Brian's eyes close as Justin blows him.
INT. KITCHEN
Deb stands, taking her coffee cup to the sink.
DEB
I've decided.
MICHAEL
What?
DEB
You and me. We're taking him home.
MICHAEL
Why you and me? Wh-why me at all?
DEB
Well, he can hardly go with Brian.
VIC
And if I go it looks a little ... Fagin and Oliver Twist.
MICHAEL
Leaving me, huh? The harmless one. Thanks a lot.
Deb swats him with her dish towel.
Justin and Brian come down the stairs and into the kitchen. Justin grins smugly at Michael and steals some chips off his plate. Agitated, Michael stands and moves to the far wall behind Brian.
DEB
I'm calling your mother. I'm taking you home.
JUSTIN
I'm not going.
Deb points a finger in his face.
DEB
You get my tits in a knot, Sunshine, and you're gonna be in deep shit.
A hand to his chest and a grin moves him out of the way.
DEB
'Scuse me.
She goes to call Jennifer. Justin sits at the table, drinks some milk.
VIC
What are you studying in school?
JUSTIN
Hmm?
VIC
Called conversation.
Brian chuckles. He catches Michael's pissed off look and goes solemn, glancing down. Deb appears with her coat on.
DEB
Ready?
MICHAEL
I need to talk to Brian. I'll be there in a second.
Deb makes a 'come on' finger gesture to Justin, then turns toward the door. Justin follows.
JUSTIN
[mouths to Brian] Bye.
Vic gets up and leaves. Michael watches everyone leave, then faces Brian.
MICHAEL
Do you have anything to say?
Pause.
BRIAN
No.
MICHAEL
Well, I do. You can fuck him at your place, you can fuck him in his gym class, you can fuck him at the zoo, but you cannot fuck him in my mother's house. In my room!
Brian is silent.
DEB [OS]
We're waaaiting!
Michael looks over at the front door, then back to Brian.
MICHAEL
Okay, I'm gonna go do this little job, and then I'm going to go see Ted at the hospital. You do whatever the fuck you want.
CUT TO: EXT. CITY ROAD - NIGHT
Michael is driving. He looks in the rear view mirror at a smugly grinning Justin.
DEB [OS]
Nobody knows if it's nature or nurture, being gay.
We see her in the passenger seat.
DEB
Now they're all saying you can tell by the length of the index finger. Although, all of Michael's fingers are perfectly normal. He should have three kids and a beer belly and he's about as gay as you get!
Justin laughs.
MICHAEL
Ma, give it a rest!
Deb pouts. Justin grins.
CUT TO: EXT. JUSTIN'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Deb and Michael walk up to the door. Justin lags around the corner by the garage. Deb rings the doorbell; it's melodic. She grins.
DEB
Listen! That's nice, huh? Not like that old buzzer at our house.
Jennifer answers the door.
DEB
Oh, hi. Um ... I was admiring your chimes. You have a ... real nice place here.
JENNIFER
Well, thank you. Uh, you-you must be--
Justin barges between them and into the house.
DEB
Rude little shit, isn't he?
Jennifer stands with her hand over her heart, composing herself.
DEB
Um, I'm Debbie Novotny ... and this is my gay son, Michael.
MICHAEL
[out of the corner of his mouth] Ma!
Pause as Jennifer stares at Michael before shaking Deb's hand.
JENNIFER
I-I'm Jennifer Taylor.
Deb grins.
DEB
Jennifer.
CRAIG [OS]
Honey, who's there?
JENNIFER
[calls back] It's no one!
Michael and Deb look down. Jennifer comes further outside, pulling the door closer behind herself to hide them.
DEB
Uh, listen, uh ... if you ever need to talk to somebody, I work over at the Liberty Diner on Liberty Avenue. 'Cause I know what you're going through. The finding out. I mean, I always knew about Michael. In fact, I told him, right?
She laughs, touching Michael, who's itching his ear and giving her a 'Ma!' look.
DEB
To spare him the pain of having to tell me. So ... Jennifer ... don't ask, 'Are you?' Because it's never a question. Just say, 'I know.'
JENNIFER
Uh, thank you.
Jennifer gestures inside and leaves. Michael turns to Deb as the door closes.
MICHAEL
You had to say all that?!
DEB
I was trying to help.
MICHAEL
You try too much.
They turn and walk back down the driveway. Deb zips her coat up.
MICHAEL
You're still wearing that same old coat.
DEB
So, someday you'll buy me a mink. You're going to be a big success.
MICHAEL
Yeah, right. You'll freeze to death first.
Deb swats his head.
MICHAEL
What was that for?!
DEB
You can be such an asshole!
MICHAEL
What'd I do?!
DEB
You don't know yourself. 'Know thyself.' Some Greek said that. Who was it?
MICHAEL
Zorba?
DEB
I don't know.
She glances back at the house.
DEB
I don't know anything. Now take me home.
CUT TO: INT. TED'S HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY
Seated, Mrs. Schmidt watches Ted pack his bag.
MRS. SCHMIDT
Are you sure I can't help?
TED
I can do it. It's no big deal.
MRS. SCHMIDT
I wish you'd let me drive you home.
TED
I already asked my friends.
MRS. SCHMIDT
Michael, Emmett, Brian.
Ted looks up, surprised. He nods.
MRS. SCHMIDT
I met them while you were asleep.
TED
Oh.
MRS. SCHMIDT
They're very nice. Especially Michael.
TED
Yeah, Michael is ... especially special.
MRS. SCHMIDT
Are you two ... I mean...
TED
Oh, no. No. We, uh ... he's just a friend.
MRS. SCHMIDT
Well, he's a very good friend. He was very kind to me. I'm grateful you have him.
TED
Yeah, so am I.
MRS. SCHMIDT
Because, more than anything, I worry that you're alone. And that there's no one to look after you.
TED
I can take care of myself.
MRS. SCHMIDT
Oh, I know you can. You've always been self-sufficient. I just ... I wish you had someone to love you. I mean, if you did, maybe this wouldn't have happened.
TED
Mom, please. Let's, uh...
MRS. SCHMIDT
I'm sorry. I know that it embarrasses you if I talk too much or ... I get too emotional. But I can't help thinking that ... if you hadn't woken up ... then I would never have gotten the chance to let you know how proud I am that you're my son. And that .. and it doesn't matter to me what you are. Yeah, I got over that a long time ago. And that whenever you're feeling alone ... or that no one loves you ... that's not true ... because I do.
They're both near tears.
TED
Th-thank you ... mom, for, uh, for saying that.
CUT TO: INT. TED'S APARTMENT - DAY
Brian, Michael, Emmett and Ted walk in. Brian and Emmett are carrying paper bags of groceries and go to the kitchen. The wall clock says 11:30 a.m.
EMMETT
Now say it three times and click your heals: There's no place like home.
TED
You know, you guys really didn't have to do this. All the flowers and the groceries.
Brian and Emmett are unloading the bags. Michael holds his arms out.
MICHAEL
One stop shopping at the Big Q Mart.
TED
Oh, that's-that's nice.
He eyes the coffee table lamp Emmett moved earlier and slides it back where it began.
TED
Only, can somebody tell me why I had to stay there three days after I woke up.
EMMETT
They wanted to make sure you're still alive.
BRIAN
On your best days it's ... hard to tell.
Michael walks over to Ted.
MICHAEL
Okay, just so you don't freak out ... your dildos are missing. And your porn. We had to move it all ... in case your mom found it.
TED
Well, I expect all thirty-three back. [to Emmett and Brian] Cleaned.
Emmett laughs.
EMMETT
You should eat something, honey.
TED
I'm not hungry.
He walks toward the bedroom.
MICHAEL
We bought you a whole fucking chicken.
BRIAN
And you're gonna eat it.
In his bedroom, Ted looks around. Michael follows him.
EMMETT [OS]
Oh my god, look at this. Who-who keeps lube in their-in their front kitchen cabinet?
Ted notices Michael.
TED
It always looks so much smaller.
MICHAEL
What does?
TED
Your life. Especially after returning from a near-death experience.
MICHAEL
Like watching the Oscars. 'Immediately proceeded by...'
MICHAEL AND TED
'The Barbara Walters Special.'
They chuckle.
TED
I'm glad you're here.
MICHAEL
You are? Well, uh ... I, um...
TED
What?
MICHAEL
Um ... uh ... I'm glad you're here, too. And if you ever wanna talk about this or ... other stuff...
TED
'Other stuff?'
MICHAEL
You know, there's--oh, you know, there's something you can't talk about...
TED
Like what?
MICHAEL
I don't know. You know, maybe if you talk about it, it might help it? But, you know, you might not get what you want. But ... Oh, shit.
Ted's confused. Brian pokes his head in.
BRIAN
Are you going to come eat the chicken?
MICHAEL
I'm going to arrange the daisies.
He leaves. Brian starts to follow when Ted speaks.
TED
I saw you. Fucking.
Brian frowns and comes in the room.
TED
When I woke up. I thought ... I'm in hell. And this is my punishment--watching Brian Kinney fucking for all eternity.
Brian puts his arm around Ted's shoulder.
BRIAN
You should be so lucky.
Ted smirks. Brian slides his arm away and steps back, serious.
BRIAN
Why me? Why did you choose me?
He sits on the bed. Ted shrugs.
TED
My mother couldn't do it. Michael and Emmett ... couldn't do it. But ... you could. Because you're a heartless shit. You could pull the plug and you wouldn't cry. And you'd know when it's time to go.
He gently swats Brian's cheek as he walks away. Brian remains on the bed, gutted.
CUT TO: INT. BABYLON - NIGHT
Brian and Michael are dancing, having a good time.
BRIAN
I want it to be you.
MICHAEL
What?
BRIAN
I want it to be you. I'll put it in writing.
MICHAEL
I want it to be you, too. You pull my plug.
BRIAN
And you pull mine.
FADE TO BLACK.
***
Queer as Folk and all its characters are a property of CowLip and Showtime. No copyright infringement is intended.