I was given just one week
Oh blah. Another day, another yawn. Shit's been so monotonous for me lately. Seems like I do the SAME shit every day and I'm getting stir crazy in a way. I'm longing for a change but I have no clue where to start to get one. It seems like my week starts with going to work (whatever day that may be) and being stark and bored all night. I come home, sleep, wake up, and then before I feel like I've had time to wrap my head around anything I have to leave again. My days off fly by without me doing much of anything. I'm usually bored, alone and basically wishing someone would call me for a change instead of me trying to call everyone else. Here's hoping...but not really, hope seems like an illusion sometimes. The oasis in the desert that isn't really there. Sadly in my life I've learned never to get my hopes up for anything. Not a damn thing anymore. Seems like when I do waste the energy trying to get excited or riled up for something it gets severely dashed.
I'm still refraining the same old verse...I need something GOOD to come along in my life. I think this is the one thing I'll let myself wait for, patiently.
Going to Joel's funeral was strange to me. He didn't look like himself...Then again, who does when they're dead? It was terrible seeing Danielle and Aaron so broken. That's basically how they were. Broken...but not to the point of where most of the pieces can't be put back together. Of course there will now always be the one missing piece. The pastor was a jerkoff though. Listening to him babble on and on about nothing made me very mad. He seemed to barely speak of Joel, rather, he focused all of his attention on the bible and the "power and greatness of Jesus and the lord "god" " that everyone seems so infatuated with. Now I remembered why catholicism is much more tolerable than protestant religions...All of the funerals I've been to in my life have been catholic. In no way am I saying that religion is good or anything but at least the priests seem to say words and have real feelings about the deceased person they speak of and the family/friends around. They don't sit there for 20 minutes and preach lines from the bible, scream, jump around and pretty much talk in circles about the same bullshit that has nothing to do with the person everyone is there trying to remember. If I had to pick a priest or a pastor I would choose a priest. I'll take reverence over exhuberance any day. This turd burglar reminded me of that Joel Osteen guy that my mom and so many other sadly mistaken "christians" love so much...This guy was prolly a pastor at one of those strangely large churches that seem to be popping up everywhere.
Ya know, Alina and I had an interesting conversation about those a few days ago when we hung out. We were kinda driving thru the more "rural" parts of Plymouth/Salem and along the road we passed by, I think, four mega-churches...Those new churches that have that huuuge, sterile look to them that basically is saying "come in here little children. We have candy that you may not understand but you'll eat it anyway because you're blind." Which made us ask - "How do they get so many people in there?" Looking around the city there weren't that many people...Institutionalized religion is all that is. They call their pastors Fuhrer and there will be NO deviance. You will be forcefed the misconception they call religion but they'll try to make it relatable so you don't really realize you're being fed brainwashing chemicals. But before you know it you carry your bible around with you everywhere, quoting scripture to those who you think have "lost their way" and that "only "god" can help you find your way back to the path of light..."
Maybe I should become a pastor - and see how much money I can make off the poor saps that will so blindly agree with anything I have to say as long as it sounds like somthing Jesus might've agreed with. But then again, Jesus was a white man, right?! And so is god...Right?! That must be why I should be rich and able to laugh in the face of everything else. Preach understanding, acceptance, love and peace...Yet once you put a gay, a poor person and a muslim in front of me I start whipping out my bible and bruising my thumb whilst I thump away at it like an African drum ritual. Who cares what I really believe or portray in life? As long as I can get up on my HUGE, plush lined, cushy soapbox and tell everyone what "god" really wants from us - like "he" called me on the phone the night before and told me aaallllll about what "he" thinks, what "he" believes is right and all that.
"Love thy neighbor....................................(unless he's a gay)"
Those long elipses will get ya.
-Laura
"Grinning and pointing his finger and everyone but himself..." -Tool
I'm still refraining the same old verse...I need something GOOD to come along in my life. I think this is the one thing I'll let myself wait for, patiently.
Going to Joel's funeral was strange to me. He didn't look like himself...Then again, who does when they're dead? It was terrible seeing Danielle and Aaron so broken. That's basically how they were. Broken...but not to the point of where most of the pieces can't be put back together. Of course there will now always be the one missing piece. The pastor was a jerkoff though. Listening to him babble on and on about nothing made me very mad. He seemed to barely speak of Joel, rather, he focused all of his attention on the bible and the "power and greatness of Jesus and the lord "god" " that everyone seems so infatuated with. Now I remembered why catholicism is much more tolerable than protestant religions...All of the funerals I've been to in my life have been catholic. In no way am I saying that religion is good or anything but at least the priests seem to say words and have real feelings about the deceased person they speak of and the family/friends around. They don't sit there for 20 minutes and preach lines from the bible, scream, jump around and pretty much talk in circles about the same bullshit that has nothing to do with the person everyone is there trying to remember. If I had to pick a priest or a pastor I would choose a priest. I'll take reverence over exhuberance any day. This turd burglar reminded me of that Joel Osteen guy that my mom and so many other sadly mistaken "christians" love so much...This guy was prolly a pastor at one of those strangely large churches that seem to be popping up everywhere.
Ya know, Alina and I had an interesting conversation about those a few days ago when we hung out. We were kinda driving thru the more "rural" parts of Plymouth/Salem and along the road we passed by, I think, four mega-churches...Those new churches that have that huuuge, sterile look to them that basically is saying "come in here little children. We have candy that you may not understand but you'll eat it anyway because you're blind." Which made us ask - "How do they get so many people in there?" Looking around the city there weren't that many people...Institutionalized religion is all that is. They call their pastors Fuhrer and there will be NO deviance. You will be forcefed the misconception they call religion but they'll try to make it relatable so you don't really realize you're being fed brainwashing chemicals. But before you know it you carry your bible around with you everywhere, quoting scripture to those who you think have "lost their way" and that "only "god" can help you find your way back to the path of light..."
Maybe I should become a pastor - and see how much money I can make off the poor saps that will so blindly agree with anything I have to say as long as it sounds like somthing Jesus might've agreed with. But then again, Jesus was a white man, right?! And so is god...Right?! That must be why I should be rich and able to laugh in the face of everything else. Preach understanding, acceptance, love and peace...Yet once you put a gay, a poor person and a muslim in front of me I start whipping out my bible and bruising my thumb whilst I thump away at it like an African drum ritual. Who cares what I really believe or portray in life? As long as I can get up on my HUGE, plush lined, cushy soapbox and tell everyone what "god" really wants from us - like "he" called me on the phone the night before and told me aaallllll about what "he" thinks, what "he" believes is right and all that.
"Love thy neighbor....................................(unless he's a gay)"
Those long elipses will get ya.
-Laura
"Grinning and pointing his finger and everyone but himself..." -Tool