more ridiculous things my heavily accented father has to say.
so i'm talking to my dad about my religion in the U.S. class. i tell him how going into this class i'm thinking i'm going to learn about all the different religions, which i'm really excited about because my dad is muslim and my mom is christian. i tell him that im really disappointed though, because the class turns out to be about politics and separation of church and state which doesnt interest me even a little. i tell him how on the first day of class my professor says "children shouldnt have prayer in school. i mean, who's god would you be praying to anyway? hahahahah" and it really pissed me off. especially coming from an interfaith family, ive always believed that we all pray to the same god, we just have different beliefs about him. i tell my dad about my beliefs which are a mix of many different religions. i go into great philosophical detail about what i believe and what i think is falacy.
and then when i'm done he takes a deep breath and says... "i have to poop." and runs out of the room.
a few nights ago my mom and dad and me and my brother are sitting on the couch watching tv and a commercial comes on for the pontiac grand prix. my dad says "oh man look at that 2007 grand pricks" my mom says, "its grand pree, you asshole. the x is silent" we all crack up and he gets angry and screams in his turkish accent "THEN WHY THE FUCK YOU PUT IT THERE?!?!"
actual note from my dad to me from 2003:
"jaclyn-
please clean shover drain. next time you'll be panish.
p.s. where is all the t-wells?"
other famous quotes from my dad include:
"JACLYN! YOUR ROOM IS PIG STOCK!"
and
"i'll headbutt your tooth out"
dad: what's your favorite color?
brother: purple.
dad: what are you a little girly girl?!
brother's friend: my favorite color is blue.
dad: light blue or dark blue?
brother's friend: in the middle.
dad: nope, still girl.
my dad sees a guy with two diamond studs in each ear.
he says, "you look like middle aged voman"
and of course, most people's favorite story about my dad:
im sitting in the computor room and my terrier runs in with a purple sweatband on his head. then my dad passes the room. i say "bub, why's the dog have a sweatband on?" he grins and says "because i like him to look silly."
**how could i forget my favorite?!
about my mom's friend that my dad and i dont like:
"man that voman is such a ::looks at my brother:: H-O-R"
i love my dad.
and then when i'm done he takes a deep breath and says... "i have to poop." and runs out of the room.
a few nights ago my mom and dad and me and my brother are sitting on the couch watching tv and a commercial comes on for the pontiac grand prix. my dad says "oh man look at that 2007 grand pricks" my mom says, "its grand pree, you asshole. the x is silent" we all crack up and he gets angry and screams in his turkish accent "THEN WHY THE FUCK YOU PUT IT THERE?!?!"
actual note from my dad to me from 2003:
"jaclyn-
please clean shover drain. next time you'll be panish.
p.s. where is all the t-wells?"
other famous quotes from my dad include:
"JACLYN! YOUR ROOM IS PIG STOCK!"
and
"i'll headbutt your tooth out"
dad: what's your favorite color?
brother: purple.
dad: what are you a little girly girl?!
brother's friend: my favorite color is blue.
dad: light blue or dark blue?
brother's friend: in the middle.
dad: nope, still girl.
my dad sees a guy with two diamond studs in each ear.
he says, "you look like middle aged voman"
and of course, most people's favorite story about my dad:
im sitting in the computor room and my terrier runs in with a purple sweatband on his head. then my dad passes the room. i say "bub, why's the dog have a sweatband on?" he grins and says "because i like him to look silly."
**how could i forget my favorite?!
about my mom's friend that my dad and i dont like:
"man that voman is such a ::looks at my brother:: H-O-R"
i love my dad.