Carvis helps out, in fact he does literally stop whatever he's doing to do what I ask. But he has a tendency to make negative comments a lot "We could have this but you two don't like this" and "She says she can't eat this or do that but then she has this or does this". In other words, a lot of complaining so that the atmosphere is negative.
I'm usually a positive person but dealing with three people who are prone to depressed moods is hard. When their attitudes are negative as well it makes it even harder. In the past year I've fought depression more than I've ever had to just because the stress and the three of them took me down.
Carvis knows that he's supposed to keep the negative comments to a minimum but he's also stressed and that is his release. He's worried about all of his, he feels it's his responsibility to be worried and take that off us but he still has trouble understanding that him worrying doesn't stop us from worrying.
As for Merc, one of the conditions we had when we agreed to let him stay was that he'd be part of the family. He had a family that was completely selfish and self-centered so he's been learning how to be part of a family that cares for and helps each other out. Three years is not long when set against 20 years of self centered existence and 5-6 years of learning to think about others. The time he spent looking after his great-uncle helped a lot but it was a case of his uncle's money paying for everything and him taking care of his uncle and the expenses.
However, as much as we've tried to treat him like part of the family he still acts most times like he isn't and that's where a lot of the friction comes from.
Carvis acts like Merc is his son, which is good in several ways, but sometimes he goes overboard in considering Merc first or appearing to. I think part of it is because he knows Mouse and myself so well that he worries more about Merc because he doesn't know how he will feel and react.
As I said with my title, I was just venting because I know this is a safe venue to vent in. The situation is complicated and Merc is not as bad as I seem to paint him to be. It's just easier and safer for my irritation to be directed at someone outside our family than inside it.
I'm usually a positive person but dealing with three people who are prone to depressed moods is hard. When their attitudes are negative as well it makes it even harder. In the past year I've fought depression more than I've ever had to just because the stress and the three of them took me down.
Carvis knows that he's supposed to keep the negative comments to a minimum but he's also stressed and that is his release. He's worried about all of his, he feels it's his responsibility to be worried and take that off us but he still has trouble understanding that him worrying doesn't stop us from worrying.
As for Merc, one of the conditions we had when we agreed to let him stay was that he'd be part of the family. He had a family that was completely selfish and self-centered so he's been learning how to be part of a family that cares for and helps each other out. Three years is not long when set against 20 years of self centered existence and 5-6 years of learning to think about others. The time he spent looking after his great-uncle helped a lot but it was a case of his uncle's money paying for everything and him taking care of his uncle and the expenses.
However, as much as we've tried to treat him like part of the family he still acts most times like he isn't and that's where a lot of the friction comes from.
Carvis acts like Merc is his son, which is good in several ways, but sometimes he goes overboard in considering Merc first or appearing to. I think part of it is because he knows Mouse and myself so well that he worries more about Merc because he doesn't know how he will feel and react.
As I said with my title, I was just venting because I know this is a safe venue to vent in. The situation is complicated and Merc is not as bad as I seem to paint him to be. It's just easier and safer for my irritation to be directed at someone outside our family than inside it.
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