Peanuts (PG 13) Funny team circus one shot
Inspired and conceived when reading the wonderful Circus challange entries but didn't have the time to write and submit. But still the story wouldn't go away and Tim demanded to be written going to the circus. So as I said I would write some fluff and fun before heading back to my angst here is my one shot/team fic.
“Gear up. Dead marine found at the Circus” Gibbs strode through the bullpen waiting for the inevitable.
“The CIRCUS! “ Tony squeed and grinned, leaping enthusiastically over to McGee’s desk, wanting his Probie to share in his excitement.
“Did you hear that McGee! We’re going to the Circus!” Tony drummed his hands on the edge of McGee’s desk.
Tim quirked an eyebrow as he gathered his things, throwing them into his ever present back pack.
“Tony. A man died”
Tony’s joy faltered momentarily “Well yeah there is that. Terrible. Horrible. Unfortunate BUT we get to go the CIRCUS! Normally it’s a muddy creek bed or some crappy abandoned alleyway but today we get to go the CIRCUS! Now THAT’S a crime scene.”
Tim sighed. It was going to one of those days.
Tony bounced on his toes excitedly before he leaned over in the elevator and whispered into Tim’s ear.
“Do you think they have a bearded lady? Or maybe one of those contortionists that can fold themselves up to fit into a tiny box?’
*Head Slap
“Sorry Boss. Dead guy. I get it. Not appropriate”
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The team stood together as they wound up processing the crime scene. Gibbs glared as curious onlookers peered over the flimsy police tape establishing a large distance around the body of a man currently lying sprawled on his back.
“T.O.D Duck?”
Ducky frowned as he studied the liver probe from the unfortunate victim.
“It looks like around midnight last night. He received a heavy blow to the head and his chest has been crushed but I won’t know which actually caused his death...”
“Until you can get him back for autopsy” Gibbs finished. Palmer grinned and ducked his head as he prepared the body from removal back to the base.
“Yes. Exactly Jethro. But since I know you want something from me now I would guess that he was knocked unconscious and then run over by a large vehicle, and judging by the lack of damage elsewhere on the body, it was moving slowly. Deliberately.”
Tony studied the ground leading up to the prone corpse.
“Drag marks boss leading up to the body. Lots of marks in fact. We are right by the animal enclosure so the ground is pretty churned up. Tyre tracks, hoof prints, footprints, boot prints, straw bales being moved around. It’s going to be difficult to isolate anything specific.”
Ziva flicked through her notebook “The body was found at 18.30 this morning by a Mr Bonkers and Mr Squiggles.”
Tony looked at her disbelievingly and Ziva glared back. “They are [i]clowns[/i] Tony. They were the names they gave me”
“Well you should get their real names Ziva. Who knows what they are really hiding under all that makeup? In fact that reminds me of the movie where the guy hides out as a clown in the circus and his mother comes and watches him every year......”
Gibbs growled and held his hands up for peace. It was early morning, he didn’t have hot coffee in his hands and he really didn’t want to be seeing himself on the nightly news next to tearful, wailing children. And he wasn’t talking about his team.
“Alright. I’m looking for speed on this one people. I do NOT want to be known as the man that shut down the damn circus. It is school holidays and I don’t want Vance on my ass about this. Everyone split up and find out who might have seen something suspicious.”
Gibbs glanced up as a man juggling burning touches strolled past on stilts. The man waved before skilfully catching a twirling torch and Gibbs just narrowed his eyes at him.
The team tried valiantly not to smile.
“What did I just say?” Gibbs growled and they disappeared in a flash in opposite directions. Tony, Gibbs noted headed towards the hot cinnamon donut vendor.
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Tim stood looking at his PDA. Who should he speak to next?
The Ring Master had been busy watching the new aerialists go through their routine in the big top so they all vouched for the others. The whole thing was being recorded so that they could check for imperfections so that put them in the clear.
The fat woman had been spending the night on face book, talking about the new twilight movie with some Russian fans.
The Wardrobe Mistress had been spending the evening ‘measuring up ‘the Strong man for a new tight lycra outfit. Tim privately thought she used her own hands rather than a measuring tape and there had been a lot more of the clothes coming off action going on than clothes being put on.
Now where would you find someone called Miss Sparkles?
“There you go Timmy.” Tony grinned and handed McGee a large ice cream in a cone while he happily juggled a very large bucket of popcorn with his other hand.
Tim looked at the ice cream suspiciously for a moment.
“It’s not [i]worm[/i] flavoured or anything is it?” He leaned in and sniffed at the cold confection and its red swirls and mystery chips of something dark.
Tony looked seriously offended.
“Would I do that to you?”
Tim just gave him a look, arching his eyebrow high.
“Well I haven’t McSuspicious. Its raspberry ripple and chocolate chip. Besides can’t a Senior Field Agent treat his Probie an ice cream when they are at the circus?”
Or that was what Tim interrupted Tony's words to be as they mostly sounded garbled through large mouthfuls of popcorn.
“Thanks Tony” Tim started licking his ice cream quickly before it started melt down onto his hand. Beside it would be rude to refuse a rare treat like this since Tony had already brought it.
“That’s ok McGee. I’m just spreading the joy, you know” and he stuffed another ridiculously large handful of popcorn into his mouth.
Tim delicately licked around his ice cream and watched Tony, shaking his head. “Don’t choke yourself Tony. We already have one body to contend with.”
Tony just grinned, bits of corn kernels stuck in his teeth. “Any popcorn is good popcorn. But CIRCUS popcorn? That is the best popcorn ever. It must be something to do with the whole travelling distant lands, salt combination...”
“DiNozzo!” Gibbs’ voice was heard over the nearby tinkling carousel music and Tony jumped, spilling several handfuls worth of popcorn to the ground.
“Gotta go” And with a clap on the shoulder Tony disappeared back off into the crowd.
Tim grinned to himself. Well if Tony ever went missing all they would need to do is follow the trail of popcorn.
Now then. Miss Sparkles.
Still happily licking his admittedly delicious creamy ice cream Tim wandered off towards the far side of the circus grounds, his eyes falling on the sideshow alley games and bright coloured stuffed toys. It really was a lovely day. Maybe he could win a toy to take back to Abby? She would be disappointed to miss out on coming to the circus.
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“Hello there”
Tim turned and smiled as a tiny but blindingly bright young woman shook his hand.
“I believe you’re looking for me? I’m Miss Sparkles.”
“Special Agent McGee from NCIS”
Tim blinked dazzled by the purple and silver sequins sewn across her fitted costume. Her very fitted costume. Her almost not there except for the sequins costume. And her fishnets.
She misconstrued his look “I know I’m tiny for an elephant handler but that’s what makes it work. Little and big, human and animal, Peanuts and Sparkles? Besides I have this enormous ostrich feather head piece which adds a good foot to my height when I’m in the show.”
Tim frowned for a second “Wait, did you say elephant handler?’
Miss Sparkles smiled “Oh you should come and met him. I know he will like you.”
“Really? I’ve never been up close to an elephant before.”
Sparkle eagerly dragged him by the hand around the back of several trailers before suddenly Tim found himself standing next to a very large elephant that appeared to be happily chewing through a mix of straw, cabbages, carrots and flowers.
“Peanut, this is special Agent McGee. “ Sparkle stood beside the elephant and loving stroked his wrinkled cheek.
The elephant peered at Tim consideringly as it used its truck to stuff another mouthful of food into its mouth. The experienced dark brown eyes studied him carefully. It chewed for a moment and Tim found himself feeling a bit nervous under the appraisal. Then tentatively the elephant reached out its mobile trunk and softly touched Tim’s face, before giving him a pat on the head and returning to his food.
Sparkles clapped her hand and gushed.
“Oh I KNEW he would like you. Animals are such a good judge of character and I could just tell you were a good guy. And there are so few really nice guys out there these days. Did you know Peanuts has travelled all round the world and has even met several presidents? He’s three times as old as I am and I swear he's twice as smart than I could ever hope to be. ”
Sparkles stroked Peanuts large ears adoringly.
Tim found himself grinning, feeling pleased that he had at least past muster with an elephant.
Sparkles passed him a large heavily bristled brush.
“Here. Use this on shoulder. He loves it. It’s a big itchy spot for him”
“Uhhh Ok. Actually do you mind if I ask you a couple of questions about last night?”
Tim scrubbed at Peanuts shoulder with the brush and laughed as the elephant made a groaning noise of satisfaction, pushing its shoulder deeper into the rough brush. Sparkles popped out from behind Peanuts head and smiled.
“Sure. I’d be happy to help anyway I can Agent McGee”
Tim found himself inexplicably blushing at the appraising look being sent his way.
*********************************************************************************
Tony leered at the attractive slim woman
“So you can twist yourself inside a small box huh?”
“Hey Tony! Tony! Up here!”
Tim waved and grinned as Peanuts lumbered by the stunned Agent. He tightened his grip around Sparkles waist, not wanting to lose his balance and end up in a tumbled heap at Tony’s feet. He would never live it down.
Tony stood and stared as Probie walked past him riding on top of an elephant. An ELEPHANT!
“McGee” He hissed “get down from there!”
What was he doing? What if he fell? How was he supposed to explain that? The forms and report filing alone would have him at his desk for weeks. McGee was supposed to be all cautious and Mr Careful NOT riding around on elephants! And what was that piece of shiny fluff McGee was hanging onto?
Tim grinned at the look on Tony’s face and pretended he couldn’t hear him.
“Cool huh!”
“McGee! Get down from there. It’s very undignified for a federal Agent to be riding an elephant!
Tim put his hand up to his ear as Peanuts continued to elicit shouts of excitement from the surrounding crowd.
“What? I’m sorry Tony I can’t hear you. I’m up on the elephant.”
Tony frowned and glared at his junior agent. “McGee! Don’t make me chase you! “
“Sorry Tony. Peanuts isn’t something you can just stop. He’s going back to the enclosures for his wash. I’ll meet you there. Bye!”
“McGee!”
Tony started chasing after Peanuts, the shiny fluff and McGee only to find that the elephants walk though it appeared slow and lumbering was actually rather efficient at covering distance. Well that and the crowd got OUT of Peanuts way and insisted on getting IN Tony's way.
Tony started muttering furiously about out of control junior agents. Didn’t he know that his behaviour reflected on him and his training of said agent?
Well that did it. No more ice creams for McGee. They just made him crazy.
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The team plus Director Vance stood around the body of the recently deceased Private Latscoe.
Vance chewed on his toothpick while Tony wished he had one of his own to get the popcorn kernels out of his teeth. They were driving him mad! Would the Director consider giving him one from his probably impressive personal store? Tony made another sucking noise at his teeth while Ziva glared at him and tried to kick him into silence.
“So now you have had some more time with the body what do you think Duck?” Gibbs ignored the case of footsy that had broken out between Tony and Ziva knowing that Ziva would win.
“Well we have found impressions of a tyre track on the victim’s chest so I believe we are looking for a Dunlop Rouge Trader model as the actual murder weapon.”
“Excellent. Gibbs I don’t need to tell you I have the greatest pressure being applied on this case.”
Director Vance looked stern and Gibbs nodded knowingly.
“Sec Nav?”
“No. My wife. She wanted to take the children to the circus but she won’t with some murderer running around. The children are VERY upset.”
Gibbs grimaced and realised that the case was going to start getting very serious. Vance saw his look and nodded.
“Yes. I see you understand the implications.”
Vance turned and started to walk towards the elevator before he stopped and slowly turned around.
“McGee. Do I want to know why you have glitter all over your crotch?”
Tim blushed bright red and glanced down to see the front of his trousers covered in silver and purple glitter. He started furiously trying to brush it off as he attempted to explain.
“Sorry sir. Miss Sparkles invited me for a ride....”
Vance quirked an eyebrow while Tony made a choking sound and Tim tried to undo the damage.
“Uhhhh Peanuts. Sir. She invited me to ride Peanuts. He’s her elephant and she was sitting in front of me and her costume is
all ....well...sparkly and we must have been rubbing up against each other and...”
Vance held up his hand for silence and Tim stumbled to a verbal halt.
“Let's make that a No Director you do not want to know the situation, shall we McGee?”
Tim nodded embarrassed while Vance shook his head and headed back to his office.
Tony leered “So McGee, you and Miss Sparkles rubbing up against each other huh?”
“It wasn’t like that” Tim protested “Beside you were there! You were watching us.”
“What have I told you about being a voyeur Tony?” Gibbs disappeared out the door with a smug smile on his face.
“Hey! McGee’s the one with glitter on his crotch. Let’s not make this about me” Tony called after Gibbs and continued muttering to himself.
One ice cream and McGee goes all Mardi Gras on them. It should be written up in some sort of Probie rule book. If gremlins should be kept away from bright light, must not touch water and were never to eat after midnight to stop them from turning into vicious monster then Probies shouldn’t be allowed ice creams.
Or leather pants.
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With a sigh Ziva rubbed at her tired eyes and twisted to try and get the kink out of her neck. She looked up and frowned as she watched the security camera footage from the different spots around the circus campsite. Then she rewound it and watched it again. And again.
“Tony. McGee. You really need to come and see this. I think we have been looking in entirely the wrong direction.”
Both men quickly appeared at her side and Ziva sat back to watch their faces.
Tim’s jaw dropped as he watched the grainy black and white footage of Private Latscoe sneaking past the animal enclosures to meet with a familiar looking small blonde woman. After a few minutes it appeared that Private Latscoe and Sparkle were obviously arguing. The Private was a very large man who loomed over the diminutive woman. Even without sound they could tell that the argument was getting nasty and suddenly Latscoe grabbed Sparkles arms hard and shook her as she cried. Tim found himself gritting his jaw and he almost jumped out of his chair as Latscoe snarled at her and then threw her to the ground where she lay sobbing amongst the straw and the mud.
“McGee. You spoke with the shiny girl?”
“Miss Sparkle. Yeah, why?”
“Did she mention any of this?”
Tim suddenly sighed as he saw where Ziva was going with this. Why was it the women that liked him turned out to be murderers?
“She said she knew him and they had gone out a few times but not that they argued on the night of his death or that he was so violent with her”
Ziva smiled and turned back to the monitors.
“Well boys hang onto your seats, this is where it gets really interesting”
“Hats Ziva. Its hang onto your hats.” Tony muttered tiredly
“Well for this one, I think you should hang onto your seat”
Tim watched alarmed as Latscoe who had started to walk away suddenly turned around at something Sparkle had shouted angrily at him. He reached down and grabbed one of the sections of solid wood used to secure the animal enclosure and advanced aggressively towards the terrified girl. Latscoe swung it up as if to strike her with it and Sparkle threw her arms up to try and protect herself.
Suddenly Latscoe’s arm instead of continuing its vicious downward swing froze in mid air and the man slowly turned around, terrified to face his attacker. Sparkle reached out, the camera screen showing her imploring her saviour to stop.
“Is that?” Tony blinked
“Yup.” Ziva grinned at the surprise on their faces.
“And did he just hit Latscoe over the head with the 2 x 4?”
“Yup”
“And now he’s dragging the body?”
“Yup”
“And squashing him with a spare tyre?”
“I believe it’s one of his show tricks that he does with the clowns”
“Holy crap. Ok THIS is something Gibbs has to see.”
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“Well who would have guessed it was Peanuts that did it.” Tony shook his head as he lay back in his chair throwing up and catching a stress ball.
Ducky seemed a bit irritated “Yes well obviously when I was studying the body I wasn’t considering an elephant using a chunk of 2x4 to hit him over the head and then crush his chest with a tyre.”
“Poor Peanuts. A murderer. They will surely put him down yes? They couldn’t keep him at the circus” Ziva shook her head as she perched on the edge of her desk and looked across to Tim.
Tim sighed sadly as he thought of the young girls face as she crumpled in interrogation.
“Sparkles is devastated. Peanuts has been with her family since she was little girl. She knows he only did it to protect her. Peanuts saw that Latscoe was going to hit her and he wanted to make sure Latscoe couldn’t ever hurt her again so he killed him. That’s why she didn’t say anything to me when I asked. She was terrified they would be parted from each other. Elephants have surprisingly complex brains and long memories. “ Tim mused as he shook his head sorrowfully.
“But on the good side Sparkles has already contacted PETA and is starting a big press campaign. I think Peanuts is going to be on 60 Minutes next week. Peanuts did save her life so I’m sure with a good lawyer the charge could be at least reduced to manslaughter. Or elephant slaughter anyway.
Sparkle knows Peanuts will never be able to continue with the circus but she wants him to be taken to a zoo with trained handlers. She can’t bear the thought of him being put down. There are already websites and fan sites springing up to campaign for Peanuts to be spared so I doubt he will actually be put down. It’s a shame though he seemed to love being a circus elephant. Who would have thought he was a murderer? Peanuts seemed like such a nice elephant too.”
Tim mused thinking of how the elephant had stroked his face and allowed him to ride around on his back.
“They always do McGee.”
“What?” Tim frowned
“They always seem nice.” Tony replied sagely
“Elephants or murderers Tony?” Tim gave him one of his sarcastic looks and Tony opened his mouth to retort.
“Hey! How about we are grateful that the case was solved so quickly and we can actually go home in time to have some weekend.” Gibbs cut off the argument that was about to happen.
“Besides for not shutting them down we all got free tickets.”
“Free tickets? “
“Who wants to go to the Circus?” Gibbs waved the tickets in his hand knowing that someone in particular would be very keen.
“Me, me, me, me” Abby grinned and shot her hand in the air before looking around at the rather lack lustre response from the team.
“Oh come on guys. It’s not fair! You already got to go! Besides I want to see the trapeze artists and the tattooed woman..” Abby bounced on.
Tony sighed. Well maybe if he went back it would give him a chance to get the contortionists’ number? And of course there was always Circus popcorn.
Ziva fingers itched to try that sharp shooter rifle game. She wanted to win herself that enormous stuffed white pony for her apartment. And maybe the giant stuffed dinosaur too. She could stick a picture of Tony’s face on it and use it for her knife throwing practise.
Tim smiled. Perhaps it would look good if he gave a written statement that he had been with Peanuts after the murder and had felt no threat to his safety? Perhaps it might help his case. Besides he hadn’t seen Sparkles in her complete outfit yet. And she might need a strong shoulder to cry on.
“Okay Abby “The team chorused, knowing they would be dragged there whether they wanted to or not.
Abby punched the air with her hand
“YES! We’re going to the Circus!”