For once, I will express how I really feel.
Today I started the day with my usual happy and perky self, but as the day drew on, I began to feel more and more distant from everyone. I felt as though nobody was there for me.
I hate saying that, because I don't like to sound like one of those emo kids, who never have a good day. But, on the various occasions that I do say these sort of things, they are true.
I hate it even more because, I have nobody to express these feelings to, without the fear of chasing them away, like some of my closest friends have done. I always hate to lose a dear friend over something that only lasts a day or two.
I know, your probably going to read this, and think that it is all bullshit. Your most likely thinking right now that I am not the sort of person that you need to be around. But you have no reason to even go as far as pushing yourself away. I only feel like this when I have alot of major changes in my life, and as you can tell, I really don't like change.
Friends come, and soon they leave, giving me the chance to only make new ones. But there are some friends that you never want to replace, some friends that tell you that they care about you, and you know that they never speak of lies.
And when you think that you are losing them, you began to try harder to gain back the relationship that you once had with them, not realizing that there was never a hole in it in the first place. And by doing this, it could only cause them to run from the extra attention, and they soon began to drift away, faster, before you hands can grab them, and hold them close, like you could once before.
Thats my theory, and my greatest fear. Right now, I have those close friends, the ones that I never want to replace. Dustin and Donny, or the Double D's. They have been there for me and my sister, through some of the rough times. Not all, but most of the great obstacles that have come apon us in this year.
And I thank them both for that. Without them, I don't think that I would be the person that I am today. Although its only been a few months since we first said hello, it seems like a lifetime to me.
I hate saying that, because I don't like to sound like one of those emo kids, who never have a good day. But, on the various occasions that I do say these sort of things, they are true.
I hate it even more because, I have nobody to express these feelings to, without the fear of chasing them away, like some of my closest friends have done. I always hate to lose a dear friend over something that only lasts a day or two.
I know, your probably going to read this, and think that it is all bullshit. Your most likely thinking right now that I am not the sort of person that you need to be around. But you have no reason to even go as far as pushing yourself away. I only feel like this when I have alot of major changes in my life, and as you can tell, I really don't like change.
Friends come, and soon they leave, giving me the chance to only make new ones. But there are some friends that you never want to replace, some friends that tell you that they care about you, and you know that they never speak of lies.
And when you think that you are losing them, you began to try harder to gain back the relationship that you once had with them, not realizing that there was never a hole in it in the first place. And by doing this, it could only cause them to run from the extra attention, and they soon began to drift away, faster, before you hands can grab them, and hold them close, like you could once before.
Thats my theory, and my greatest fear. Right now, I have those close friends, the ones that I never want to replace. Dustin and Donny, or the Double D's. They have been there for me and my sister, through some of the rough times. Not all, but most of the great obstacles that have come apon us in this year.
And I thank them both for that. Without them, I don't think that I would be the person that I am today. Although its only been a few months since we first said hello, it seems like a lifetime to me.