Fatal Choice Part 2 A
Jin could feel the sweat trickling down the back of his neck as he lazily titled his head back and drew in tainted air through the filter of his cigarette. The midsummer sun was beating down and much to his annoyance the gang’s usual drama was taking place around him. He rolled his eyes and used his forefinger to doodle on the dry, dusty ground on which he sat.
A boy who went by the name of Kenta was being held securely in place by his partner and another boy whose name Jin couldn’t recall. Isamu was delivering a speech as he used a blade to cut away the struggling boy’s clothes.
Jin withdrew the cigarette from his mouth and yawned. He hadn’t imagined when joining the gang that the game would drag on so tediously; ten months had passed by and he was still with the same partner. He glanced around the yard until his eyes landed on the slender figure of his roommate. Kazuya was standing several feet away with his eyes trained unblinkingly on Kenta. Jin bit his lip and lowered his gaze as he brought his cigarette back up. It had been months since words had been exchanged between them. At first Kazuya had tried; had made more of an effort than Jin would have expected of his reclusive roommate, but he had feigned indifference, greeting the beautiful boy’s words with sneers and hurtful remarks, until eventually Kazuya’s voice had died away. It had hurt him more than Jin would ever admit but he knew that he hadn’t had a choice; it was kill or be killed, and as far as he could tell Kazuya was holding the knife with the hope that Jin would impale himself on it.
A bloodcurdling scream grabbed his attention and dragged it back towards Kenta; he immediately wished that it had remained elsewhere. Isamu was crouched in front of the boy, whose legs it seemed had buckled as he screamed; there was a struggle as the two boys that held him were dragged forwards by the sudden dead weight in their arms, and Kenta tried to loosen their hold whilst kicking desperately at Isamu in an attempt to escape. Due to Isamu’s position Jin couldn’t clearly make out what was happening but the stream of blood that was gushing down Kenta’s thighs gave him a pretty good idea, and he wasted no time in turning away in revulsion.
‘Mutiny will not be tolerated!’ Isamu laughed, as Kenta was brought back under control and the boss continued with his task. Jin wished that he could block out the sounds that spilled from the hysterical young man, but to cover his ears would have been viewed as a sign of weakness, and that was unacceptable.
Kenta had disappeared at the end of spring, not long after Jin had indulged himself in Kazuya’s body. The circumstances had been suspicious, and Isamu had been furious. Jin could clearly remember the man making a spectacle of himself as he stormed through the building screaming, cursing and assaulting anyone unfortunate enough to get in his way. Orders had been issued, and each gang member had been under strict instruction to find the traitor and force his return. The image of starved, rabid dogs had flashed through Jin’s mind on that day, as the boy’s around him had immediately started to squabble and scuffle in their excitement over the prospect of finding their condemned gang mate and gaining the favour of the boss. But as is often the case, days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, and everyone had given up on the hope of finding Kenta alive; everyone it seemed but Kazuya.
A commotion was taking place in the doorway but Jin paid no attention as he gazed at the ceiling and swivelled gently in the chair that, he’d made quite clear to the group, belonged to him alone. The heat in the room was stifling, and the smell of body odour was causing his stomach to turn. Air conditioning was a privilege that Isamu had deemed them unworthy of, and the humidity of the August air was resulting in tempers running short and tension running high.
‘It can’t be!’ Isamu, who was standing much closer to Jin than he would have liked, gasped as two figures were pushed into the middle of the room.
Jin tilted his head forwards slightly and blinked in surprise as he recognised the two boys: Kenta and Kazuya. He straightened himself up and gazed at the pair, and despite the fact that he was by no means the only man in the room focusing on Kazuya, it was he who the beautiful young man glared at coldly, as he struggled to hold a semi-conscious Kenta in place.
‘You found him!’ Isamu practically danced forwards and pulled the swaying boy from Kazuya’s hold. His laughter was crazed as he proceeded to spin his confused victim around until he lost his footing and crumpled to the ground. ‘Where have you been you little shit?’ He smirked and nudged the boy with his foot.
Kenta’s head was bleeding freely, and Jin guessed that Kazuya must have knocked him out before bringing him to the headquarters. He sighed; there was no doubt in his mind that it would have been better for Kenta to have been killed by the blow than to be forced to endure whatever punishment Isamu would cook up for him.
Despite the distance between them Jin could tell that Kenta was shaking, as he tried without success to distance himself from the predator that was Isamu. The other boys in the gang were mumbling and snickering but Jin noticed that Kazuya, like himself, remained deadly serious as he watched Isamu in curious anticipation.
‘I asked you a question!’ suddenly the sadistic humour was absent from Isamu’s voice as he stooped to seize his confused victim by the collar. Even Jin felt his shoulders inadvertently stiffen and his heart increase its pace at the man’s tone; ‘And it would be in your best interest to answer it!’
Kenta seemed to be struggling to focus on his boss as his head was swaying dangerously and his breathing was laboured. ‘Tetsu…’ he whimpered and started to cry, ‘please…Tetsu…’
Isamu’s expression was blank and Jin sincerely hoped that his own face didn’t portray his confusion in such a gormless manner. ‘Tetsu…’ Isamu repeated as he blinked stupidly. The surrounding gang started to quiet as Kenta’s sobs became more desperate. ‘Tetsu…’ Isamu muttered again before anger suddenly seemed to overwhelm him and he started to shake the wreck of a boy furiously. ‘Who the fuck is Tetsu? Where have you been?’ he dragged the boy further upwards. The fabric of the clutched shirt started to restrict the oxygen flow and Kenta immediately started to choke and cough desperately through his sobs. ‘Answer me!’ Isamu screamed.
Jin scanned the now deathly silent room and smirked; not a single boy would have been foolish enough to make a sound.
‘Tetsu is his lover,’ Kazuya answered lazily. Jin raised an eyebrow and several of his gang mates stiffened in obvious surprise; Kazuya never spoke in front of the gang. Even Isamu looked taken aback as he gawped at Kazuya, whose expression remained cool and indifferent.
‘Lover?’ the boss croaked, releasing his hold on Kenta who slumped to the ground and curled up in a ball, grasping his injured head and crying quietly. ‘Explain!’ Isamu barked at Kazuya.
‘Yamamoto Tetsu,’ Kazuya replied and Jin let out a sigh of relief; Kazuya could be difficult at times and Isamu’s patience would only be stretched so far. Despite the way that Jin acted towards the younger man he dreaded the day that he might have to see Kazuya hurt. Kazuya continued his short explanation; ‘He’s a member of Miyagawa’s gang…’
Jin had never seen the colour in a man’s face change as drastically or as quickly as Isamu’s did at that moment. The small man stiffened and glared hatefully at the heap that lay at his feet, his fists were clenched, his face was scarlet and a vein throbbed visibly in his temple. Images of countless cartoon villains flashed through Jin’s mind, as he waited for Isamu’s impending explosion. ‘A queer?’ a shiver passed through him as the anticipated voice delivered words in a dark whisper. ‘Repulsive,’ Isamu delivered a swift kick to Kenta’s ribs before immediately dragging him upwards by the collar again, ‘you disgusting little fuck!’ he spat in the boy’s face, and then started to laugh manically. Kenta’s eyes widened in terror, and Jin knew why; Isamu only laughed like that when he was about to deliver punishment.
‘What were you thinking joining my gang? You thought that you could stand alongside me? A dirty little slut like you? ’ he threw back his head and howled, and Jin could feel the nervous tension in the room increasing, ‘that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all day!’ Then without warning Isamu punched Kenta in the stomach, and his face became serious again, ‘but if there’s one thing that I hate in this world, it’s fucking queers!’ he snarled, ‘it’s going against nature…and you know how I believe that nature should prevail…’ he paused and knelt suddenly, ‘did you let him fuck you?’ he stared into teary eyes.
Jin couldn’t help but spare Kazuya a glance, but the boy’s face bore no trace of the emotions that by right he should have been feeling. Jin frowned; Kazuya would always be a mystery to him.
‘Did he?’ Isamu repeated, the warning in his voice impossible to miss. Kenta gulped and nodded slowly. Isamu tilted his head and sneered; ‘there’s no greater shame for a man.’ He paused to allow his words to take effect, ‘Miyagawa and your precious Tetsu are probably laughing at you right now!’
‘No!’ Kenta sobbed, gripping Isamu by the arm and staring up at him desperately, ‘he loves…’
‘Nonsense!’ Isamu screamed suddenly throwing the boy to the ground, ‘there’s no such thing! It’s a struggle for power, and you lost! You lost to the enemy! There’s no place in this world for losers…survival of the fittest…Daisuke!’ he called to Kenta’s partner, ‘escort him outside, get help if you need it. Everyone follow. I’ll show you how we deal with traitors like him.’
Kenta’s screams were deafening to Jin’s ears, beneath them he could hear Isamu’s hysterical laughter as he butchered the boy’s pride. Not for the first time in recent months he found himself questioning his boss’s sanity. He swallowed and tried once more to focus on his cigarette; perhaps it was time for him to start examining his own mental state. Kenta’s screams were gradually becoming subdued and Jin wondered how long it would take for the boy to bleed to death; despite his supposed indifference he hoped that the tortured boy would be released from his pain quickly, for it was not a death that Jin would wish on anyone.
‘You look like a man with a guilty conscience,’ he felt a shiver pass through him as he recognised Kazuya’s quiet voice. He turned to find him leaning over to whisper into his ear, ‘tell me…don’t you think that Yamamoto Tetsu was going against nature just as much as Kenta was?’ Jin suddenly found it difficult to maintain the façade that he’d previously believed to be perfect. Why was Kazuya gazing at him so intently? What did the boy mean by such a question? Surely Kazuya of all people didn’t agree with Isamu! ‘Cat got your tongue?’ Kazuya smirked and straightened himself up, reaching into his breast pocket for his own packet of cigarettes, ‘it’s probably that conscience of yours…’ he lit up and exhaled slowly, ‘but I wouldn’t worry if I were you; Tetsu will receive his punishment just as Kenta has.’ He smirked and gave Jin a long stare before returning to the apartment block.
Even when extreme blood loss caused Kenta to lose consciousness, Jin could still hear the boy’s screams echoing in his mind, like an air raid siren working only to warn him of the inevitable.
~*~*~*~
It wasn’t supposed to happen but Jin couldn’t bring himself to stop. It was early November and they’d been together for almost a year. They were the final pair and the subject on everybody’s lips. As usual a party had taken place but, for reasons unknown to Jin, Kazuya had actually opted to attend. Perhaps the fair haired beauty had felt as affected by his gang mates’ stares as Jin did but somehow both of them had ended up in a drunken state, back in their room and losing themselves in each other once more.
It was angry, fast and rough. Kazuya’s eyes were full of hate as he gasped at the sensations that Jin was causing, and Jin was too lost in his own pleasure to feel the pain that such a stare would usually have caused him.
They were on the floor; Jin’s back against the bed whilst Kazuya took control of his own movements. Jin moaned as he felt teeth connect with the sensitive skin of his neck, and a hand in his hair pulled his head roughly towards the bed, giving the boy complete access to his throat and neck. And then Kazuya’s nails were digging into his shoulders, as he increased the speed. Eyes closed, head thrown back; perfect.
It was over too soon and before Jin could collect himself together Kazuya was on his feet screaming and babbling nonsense. The boy was moving and speaking too quickly for Jin’s intoxicated mind to keep up with, and it wasn’t until a paperback connected with his shoulder in time with an emotional declaration of hate from Kazuya, that he realised that the smaller boy was working himself into a fury.
‘What the fuck?’ he cried as he brought his hand up to massage the spot where the book had hit. ‘Calm down! What the hell is wrong with you?’
‘Don’t talk to me!’ Kazuya was swaying slightly as he struggled to pull himself back into his jeans, ‘I hate you…’ he staggered and almost fell, ‘you ruined everything…’ even in his current state Jin could see that Kazuya was far more drunk than he was.
‘Sit down; you’re going to hurt yourself.’ Jin tried to keep the emotion out of his voice but, as usual, he was finding it difficult to do so.
‘Why would you care?’ Kazuya had successfully dressed his lower half and was now staring at Jin with an unreadable expression on his face, ‘you plan to kill me.’
Jin felt his mouth turn dry. Of course he planned to kill him! That was the point of the game, but hearing Kazuya speak those words caused irritatingly familiar emotions to stir once more. He bit his lip and lowered his eyes, but within a moment he was forced to raise them again as Kazuya stumbled forward and landed on his knees before him.
‘Don’t look so sad,’ it looked to Jin like Kazuya was attempting a smirk but his eyes told a different story, ‘you don’t want to kill me do you?’
Jin couldn’t reply as he felt the softness of Kazuya’s hand rest gently against his cheek. The boy’s behaviour was so unpredictable; at one time it had excited and almost thrilled him but now it filled him with fear, sadness and a sort of longing that he couldn’t explain.
‘It’s okay,’ Kazuya shuffled closer and for a moment Jin thought that the boy was going to embrace him, ‘you don’t have to worry,’ Kazuya’s voice was barely more than a whisper as he started to stroke Jin’s face, ‘because I’ll be the one to kill you.’
Jin could have sworn that his heart ceased to beat at that moment, and had Kazuya wished, he could probably have succeeded in killing him there and then, for Jin found himself lacking the energy to put up any sort of resistance. He lowered his eyes again. What was happening to him? Where was his snarky comeback? Why couldn’t he shrug off Kazuya’s words?
‘I mean it,’ Kazuya’s voice suddenly seemed to contain an urgency that it had previously lacked, ‘I won’t let you beat me, not after what you’ve done.’ The warmth left his cheek as Kazuya retracted his hand.
‘What I’ve done?’ Jin was glad that his voice sounded stronger than he felt.
‘“There is no greater shame for a man”’ Kazuya quoted Isamu’s words.
Jin snapped his head upwards and stared searchingly at the boy knelt before him, ‘you don’t believe that.’ He said firmly as he felt himself beginning to return, ‘you told your father that…’
‘Maybe I was wrong,’ Kazuya said coldly, ‘maybe Isamu’s right; maybe people like me…and people like you…’
‘Stop it!’ Jin snapped, he couldn’t explain his anger nor could he control it, ‘if you believed that then you wouldn’t have just let me…’
‘Wouldn’t I?’ Kazuya’s eyes glittered as he smiled; Jin felt like a lost child. ‘You don’t know me Akanishi,’ each word felt like a knife wound. Jin wondered if his own past words had hurt Kazuya in such a way, ‘but know this; when the times comes I won’t hesitate.’
Jin swallowed. This had to stop; he couldn’t allow his emotions to rule him any longer. The time for their partnership to end was no doubt drawing near. ‘I won’t hesitate either,’ he said dryly, ‘don’t underestimate me Kamenashi; I won’t lose to you.’
The next day the orders were issued for them to complete their final mission.
~*~*~*~
Part B
A boy who went by the name of Kenta was being held securely in place by his partner and another boy whose name Jin couldn’t recall. Isamu was delivering a speech as he used a blade to cut away the struggling boy’s clothes.
Jin withdrew the cigarette from his mouth and yawned. He hadn’t imagined when joining the gang that the game would drag on so tediously; ten months had passed by and he was still with the same partner. He glanced around the yard until his eyes landed on the slender figure of his roommate. Kazuya was standing several feet away with his eyes trained unblinkingly on Kenta. Jin bit his lip and lowered his gaze as he brought his cigarette back up. It had been months since words had been exchanged between them. At first Kazuya had tried; had made more of an effort than Jin would have expected of his reclusive roommate, but he had feigned indifference, greeting the beautiful boy’s words with sneers and hurtful remarks, until eventually Kazuya’s voice had died away. It had hurt him more than Jin would ever admit but he knew that he hadn’t had a choice; it was kill or be killed, and as far as he could tell Kazuya was holding the knife with the hope that Jin would impale himself on it.
A bloodcurdling scream grabbed his attention and dragged it back towards Kenta; he immediately wished that it had remained elsewhere. Isamu was crouched in front of the boy, whose legs it seemed had buckled as he screamed; there was a struggle as the two boys that held him were dragged forwards by the sudden dead weight in their arms, and Kenta tried to loosen their hold whilst kicking desperately at Isamu in an attempt to escape. Due to Isamu’s position Jin couldn’t clearly make out what was happening but the stream of blood that was gushing down Kenta’s thighs gave him a pretty good idea, and he wasted no time in turning away in revulsion.
‘Mutiny will not be tolerated!’ Isamu laughed, as Kenta was brought back under control and the boss continued with his task. Jin wished that he could block out the sounds that spilled from the hysterical young man, but to cover his ears would have been viewed as a sign of weakness, and that was unacceptable.
Kenta had disappeared at the end of spring, not long after Jin had indulged himself in Kazuya’s body. The circumstances had been suspicious, and Isamu had been furious. Jin could clearly remember the man making a spectacle of himself as he stormed through the building screaming, cursing and assaulting anyone unfortunate enough to get in his way. Orders had been issued, and each gang member had been under strict instruction to find the traitor and force his return. The image of starved, rabid dogs had flashed through Jin’s mind on that day, as the boy’s around him had immediately started to squabble and scuffle in their excitement over the prospect of finding their condemned gang mate and gaining the favour of the boss. But as is often the case, days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, and everyone had given up on the hope of finding Kenta alive; everyone it seemed but Kazuya.
A commotion was taking place in the doorway but Jin paid no attention as he gazed at the ceiling and swivelled gently in the chair that, he’d made quite clear to the group, belonged to him alone. The heat in the room was stifling, and the smell of body odour was causing his stomach to turn. Air conditioning was a privilege that Isamu had deemed them unworthy of, and the humidity of the August air was resulting in tempers running short and tension running high.
‘It can’t be!’ Isamu, who was standing much closer to Jin than he would have liked, gasped as two figures were pushed into the middle of the room.
Jin tilted his head forwards slightly and blinked in surprise as he recognised the two boys: Kenta and Kazuya. He straightened himself up and gazed at the pair, and despite the fact that he was by no means the only man in the room focusing on Kazuya, it was he who the beautiful young man glared at coldly, as he struggled to hold a semi-conscious Kenta in place.
‘You found him!’ Isamu practically danced forwards and pulled the swaying boy from Kazuya’s hold. His laughter was crazed as he proceeded to spin his confused victim around until he lost his footing and crumpled to the ground. ‘Where have you been you little shit?’ He smirked and nudged the boy with his foot.
Kenta’s head was bleeding freely, and Jin guessed that Kazuya must have knocked him out before bringing him to the headquarters. He sighed; there was no doubt in his mind that it would have been better for Kenta to have been killed by the blow than to be forced to endure whatever punishment Isamu would cook up for him.
Despite the distance between them Jin could tell that Kenta was shaking, as he tried without success to distance himself from the predator that was Isamu. The other boys in the gang were mumbling and snickering but Jin noticed that Kazuya, like himself, remained deadly serious as he watched Isamu in curious anticipation.
‘I asked you a question!’ suddenly the sadistic humour was absent from Isamu’s voice as he stooped to seize his confused victim by the collar. Even Jin felt his shoulders inadvertently stiffen and his heart increase its pace at the man’s tone; ‘And it would be in your best interest to answer it!’
Kenta seemed to be struggling to focus on his boss as his head was swaying dangerously and his breathing was laboured. ‘Tetsu…’ he whimpered and started to cry, ‘please…Tetsu…’
Isamu’s expression was blank and Jin sincerely hoped that his own face didn’t portray his confusion in such a gormless manner. ‘Tetsu…’ Isamu repeated as he blinked stupidly. The surrounding gang started to quiet as Kenta’s sobs became more desperate. ‘Tetsu…’ Isamu muttered again before anger suddenly seemed to overwhelm him and he started to shake the wreck of a boy furiously. ‘Who the fuck is Tetsu? Where have you been?’ he dragged the boy further upwards. The fabric of the clutched shirt started to restrict the oxygen flow and Kenta immediately started to choke and cough desperately through his sobs. ‘Answer me!’ Isamu screamed.
Jin scanned the now deathly silent room and smirked; not a single boy would have been foolish enough to make a sound.
‘Tetsu is his lover,’ Kazuya answered lazily. Jin raised an eyebrow and several of his gang mates stiffened in obvious surprise; Kazuya never spoke in front of the gang. Even Isamu looked taken aback as he gawped at Kazuya, whose expression remained cool and indifferent.
‘Lover?’ the boss croaked, releasing his hold on Kenta who slumped to the ground and curled up in a ball, grasping his injured head and crying quietly. ‘Explain!’ Isamu barked at Kazuya.
‘Yamamoto Tetsu,’ Kazuya replied and Jin let out a sigh of relief; Kazuya could be difficult at times and Isamu’s patience would only be stretched so far. Despite the way that Jin acted towards the younger man he dreaded the day that he might have to see Kazuya hurt. Kazuya continued his short explanation; ‘He’s a member of Miyagawa’s gang…’
Jin had never seen the colour in a man’s face change as drastically or as quickly as Isamu’s did at that moment. The small man stiffened and glared hatefully at the heap that lay at his feet, his fists were clenched, his face was scarlet and a vein throbbed visibly in his temple. Images of countless cartoon villains flashed through Jin’s mind, as he waited for Isamu’s impending explosion. ‘A queer?’ a shiver passed through him as the anticipated voice delivered words in a dark whisper. ‘Repulsive,’ Isamu delivered a swift kick to Kenta’s ribs before immediately dragging him upwards by the collar again, ‘you disgusting little fuck!’ he spat in the boy’s face, and then started to laugh manically. Kenta’s eyes widened in terror, and Jin knew why; Isamu only laughed like that when he was about to deliver punishment.
‘What were you thinking joining my gang? You thought that you could stand alongside me? A dirty little slut like you? ’ he threw back his head and howled, and Jin could feel the nervous tension in the room increasing, ‘that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all day!’ Then without warning Isamu punched Kenta in the stomach, and his face became serious again, ‘but if there’s one thing that I hate in this world, it’s fucking queers!’ he snarled, ‘it’s going against nature…and you know how I believe that nature should prevail…’ he paused and knelt suddenly, ‘did you let him fuck you?’ he stared into teary eyes.
Jin couldn’t help but spare Kazuya a glance, but the boy’s face bore no trace of the emotions that by right he should have been feeling. Jin frowned; Kazuya would always be a mystery to him.
‘Did he?’ Isamu repeated, the warning in his voice impossible to miss. Kenta gulped and nodded slowly. Isamu tilted his head and sneered; ‘there’s no greater shame for a man.’ He paused to allow his words to take effect, ‘Miyagawa and your precious Tetsu are probably laughing at you right now!’
‘No!’ Kenta sobbed, gripping Isamu by the arm and staring up at him desperately, ‘he loves…’
‘Nonsense!’ Isamu screamed suddenly throwing the boy to the ground, ‘there’s no such thing! It’s a struggle for power, and you lost! You lost to the enemy! There’s no place in this world for losers…survival of the fittest…Daisuke!’ he called to Kenta’s partner, ‘escort him outside, get help if you need it. Everyone follow. I’ll show you how we deal with traitors like him.’
Kenta’s screams were deafening to Jin’s ears, beneath them he could hear Isamu’s hysterical laughter as he butchered the boy’s pride. Not for the first time in recent months he found himself questioning his boss’s sanity. He swallowed and tried once more to focus on his cigarette; perhaps it was time for him to start examining his own mental state. Kenta’s screams were gradually becoming subdued and Jin wondered how long it would take for the boy to bleed to death; despite his supposed indifference he hoped that the tortured boy would be released from his pain quickly, for it was not a death that Jin would wish on anyone.
‘You look like a man with a guilty conscience,’ he felt a shiver pass through him as he recognised Kazuya’s quiet voice. He turned to find him leaning over to whisper into his ear, ‘tell me…don’t you think that Yamamoto Tetsu was going against nature just as much as Kenta was?’ Jin suddenly found it difficult to maintain the façade that he’d previously believed to be perfect. Why was Kazuya gazing at him so intently? What did the boy mean by such a question? Surely Kazuya of all people didn’t agree with Isamu! ‘Cat got your tongue?’ Kazuya smirked and straightened himself up, reaching into his breast pocket for his own packet of cigarettes, ‘it’s probably that conscience of yours…’ he lit up and exhaled slowly, ‘but I wouldn’t worry if I were you; Tetsu will receive his punishment just as Kenta has.’ He smirked and gave Jin a long stare before returning to the apartment block.
Even when extreme blood loss caused Kenta to lose consciousness, Jin could still hear the boy’s screams echoing in his mind, like an air raid siren working only to warn him of the inevitable.
~*~*~*~
It wasn’t supposed to happen but Jin couldn’t bring himself to stop. It was early November and they’d been together for almost a year. They were the final pair and the subject on everybody’s lips. As usual a party had taken place but, for reasons unknown to Jin, Kazuya had actually opted to attend. Perhaps the fair haired beauty had felt as affected by his gang mates’ stares as Jin did but somehow both of them had ended up in a drunken state, back in their room and losing themselves in each other once more.
It was angry, fast and rough. Kazuya’s eyes were full of hate as he gasped at the sensations that Jin was causing, and Jin was too lost in his own pleasure to feel the pain that such a stare would usually have caused him.
They were on the floor; Jin’s back against the bed whilst Kazuya took control of his own movements. Jin moaned as he felt teeth connect with the sensitive skin of his neck, and a hand in his hair pulled his head roughly towards the bed, giving the boy complete access to his throat and neck. And then Kazuya’s nails were digging into his shoulders, as he increased the speed. Eyes closed, head thrown back; perfect.
It was over too soon and before Jin could collect himself together Kazuya was on his feet screaming and babbling nonsense. The boy was moving and speaking too quickly for Jin’s intoxicated mind to keep up with, and it wasn’t until a paperback connected with his shoulder in time with an emotional declaration of hate from Kazuya, that he realised that the smaller boy was working himself into a fury.
‘What the fuck?’ he cried as he brought his hand up to massage the spot where the book had hit. ‘Calm down! What the hell is wrong with you?’
‘Don’t talk to me!’ Kazuya was swaying slightly as he struggled to pull himself back into his jeans, ‘I hate you…’ he staggered and almost fell, ‘you ruined everything…’ even in his current state Jin could see that Kazuya was far more drunk than he was.
‘Sit down; you’re going to hurt yourself.’ Jin tried to keep the emotion out of his voice but, as usual, he was finding it difficult to do so.
‘Why would you care?’ Kazuya had successfully dressed his lower half and was now staring at Jin with an unreadable expression on his face, ‘you plan to kill me.’
Jin felt his mouth turn dry. Of course he planned to kill him! That was the point of the game, but hearing Kazuya speak those words caused irritatingly familiar emotions to stir once more. He bit his lip and lowered his eyes, but within a moment he was forced to raise them again as Kazuya stumbled forward and landed on his knees before him.
‘Don’t look so sad,’ it looked to Jin like Kazuya was attempting a smirk but his eyes told a different story, ‘you don’t want to kill me do you?’
Jin couldn’t reply as he felt the softness of Kazuya’s hand rest gently against his cheek. The boy’s behaviour was so unpredictable; at one time it had excited and almost thrilled him but now it filled him with fear, sadness and a sort of longing that he couldn’t explain.
‘It’s okay,’ Kazuya shuffled closer and for a moment Jin thought that the boy was going to embrace him, ‘you don’t have to worry,’ Kazuya’s voice was barely more than a whisper as he started to stroke Jin’s face, ‘because I’ll be the one to kill you.’
Jin could have sworn that his heart ceased to beat at that moment, and had Kazuya wished, he could probably have succeeded in killing him there and then, for Jin found himself lacking the energy to put up any sort of resistance. He lowered his eyes again. What was happening to him? Where was his snarky comeback? Why couldn’t he shrug off Kazuya’s words?
‘I mean it,’ Kazuya’s voice suddenly seemed to contain an urgency that it had previously lacked, ‘I won’t let you beat me, not after what you’ve done.’ The warmth left his cheek as Kazuya retracted his hand.
‘What I’ve done?’ Jin was glad that his voice sounded stronger than he felt.
‘“There is no greater shame for a man”’ Kazuya quoted Isamu’s words.
Jin snapped his head upwards and stared searchingly at the boy knelt before him, ‘you don’t believe that.’ He said firmly as he felt himself beginning to return, ‘you told your father that…’
‘Maybe I was wrong,’ Kazuya said coldly, ‘maybe Isamu’s right; maybe people like me…and people like you…’
‘Stop it!’ Jin snapped, he couldn’t explain his anger nor could he control it, ‘if you believed that then you wouldn’t have just let me…’
‘Wouldn’t I?’ Kazuya’s eyes glittered as he smiled; Jin felt like a lost child. ‘You don’t know me Akanishi,’ each word felt like a knife wound. Jin wondered if his own past words had hurt Kazuya in such a way, ‘but know this; when the times comes I won’t hesitate.’
Jin swallowed. This had to stop; he couldn’t allow his emotions to rule him any longer. The time for their partnership to end was no doubt drawing near. ‘I won’t hesitate either,’ he said dryly, ‘don’t underestimate me Kamenashi; I won’t lose to you.’
The next day the orders were issued for them to complete their final mission.
~*~*~*~
Part B