(no subject)

[redtippedblade]

Well... The holidays over, and im just as exhausted afterwords as i was before...They say your supposed to get rest and enjoy your time off, enjoy your company and most off enjoy life, and for the most part, thats exactly what ive been doing. I feel that lately its too much work hating everyone and dealing with my problems at the exact same time therefor i give up on the hating other people and deal with my problems solo. I guess for th last four days ive been the happiest in a very long while. I've been enjoying the company of my beloved girlfriend, shes quiet the thing that girl... Its really hard to explain how she does it, but she gives me a feeling like nobody can, its quiet enjoyable. we've spend about 8-10 hours on my floor cuddled in a ball watching movies, most of the time deep into the night. Everytime i hold her close, feel her warmth and thank the lord i have her, she says that shes nothing special and that shes just another girl. but i see things differently... I mean i've had relationships and for the most part left a mark on every girls life ive been involved in, and i can almost garuntee that... But very few of the girls have made the same effect on me, at least in a posative aspect. Most of my past relationships lasted quiet the distance, but lacked everything i couldnt ever see... I mean this girl is a girl like evry other one. Yes shes cute and addorable and i find myself overwhelmed with her grace and mysteriousness, but generally speaking shes like everyone else. We dont have a shitload in common, quiet the contrare, we have a few things here and there, But shes just Her. I mean when we hangout shes not super affectionate, and she doesnt say a whole lot. But everything she could say i can feel... She will quietly and slowly move her arm around mine and pull my arm around her if i havnt already. she will gracefully scoot closer to me, and every now and then glace up at me with her beuatiful brown eyes. I could stare at her eyes for hours, they are so deep and i find myself getting lost in them when she stares at me. The other day i slipped and kissed her gently, i couldnt help it. I tried to hold back, but there was just a moment, and i being the fuckup i am with romance and moments, i couldnt hold myself back. i know its early and i bet i caught her way off gaurd and it wont happen again. i love cuddling and being close, and im not trying to get to close too quick, its just i get a certain feeling when im with her, and its hard to explain, and when i saw her eyes and i stared at them for a second i saw everything i love about her come rushing through my head, and i slowly drew close, trying to stop myself, but i couldnt. i dont regret it at all, although maybe i should?? im not so sure. But idk i just kind ahave a great feeling holding her in my arms, not just that im secure and comfortable and hoping shes as happy as i am, but that i know it can and will last if everything goes right. i take every chance i can to see her, i rather enjoy it. I mean things have been going pretty good, she doesnt tell me alot of what she feels and thinks and normally i force my girlfriends to tell me, but i think this is making me learn to feel what they think and want more so than to rely on her telling me, if that makes and sense to any of you. Im pretty much amazed at how she does what she does, i mean i've been in "serious" relationships before i dont care how you look at it, but our relationship as it is could las tme forever and i wouldnt care. The annoyance of the teenage bullshit isnt worth it. they say if the moment happens then enjoy it, but what if you neevr have a moment? b/c honestly i dont want one. of course being my girlfriend and me being a 16 year old guy i get ideas and thoughts, but out of every thought that goes through my head, the only one i consider enjoyable, is holding her close, resting my head on hers feeling her close to my body and knowing that shes ok and shes happy... I long every day for her body being close ot mine, a hand holding mine. A stare exchanged for even a second, even a gentle hug given for the mere second, it all makes me know shes right there beside me and gives me everything i could ask for. I assume as things progress, the stress of a teenage relationship will build, ill do my best to hold things on my end and remain the responsabile boyfriend... Ive been told im quiet the horn dog... im amazed as to how opposite i've fely towards her so far... but yeah tats mostly my holiday in a nutshell... her.... i've spent every spare minute not worked with her even on thanksgiving and the night before meeting her grandparents whom are very pleasant... But yes i have it bad, bad for her... i dont ever want to hurt her and will do everything possible not too...

Happy holidays to you all..

Meg <3
^Shes amazing :)