Everything!!!!
Hello Everyone!!! I AM super bored and have been all day!!! I woke up at 12:30pm and sat in bed for a few hours then i called stephanie at around 2 and she didn't pick up!!:( how sad....I told her to call me when she gets my message but she never did:( but then again maybe shes still Asleep cause she did after all have to work at 7:30am!!!!:) I hope she had fun last night...she really didn't want to work her double and then open so i took the shift so she could go have some fun!!!! But only because i love her did i do that though anyone else would have worked!!!hahaha Other than that ive been ok?!?!? I just don't know what to do about Stephanie everything was going good and wonderfull and i still think it is but last monday she said we need a brake!!!! NOOOOO!!! She says she still loves me and when i say i love you to her she says it back. Sometimes..She just says she needs to work things out about her self which is totally cool with me and iam trying my hardest to give her some space...Its just i love her so much and i can't not think about her even though she might not be thinking about me!!! You see everyone theres some history between me and Stephanie just read her livejournal imaloser4life...We meet or should i say saw eachother about a year ago well maybe 11 months but whos counting!!! I was getting interveiwed at coffee oais and she was outside....I was like omg that girl is super cute!!Maybe i should say something??shes with 2 guys maybe that her boyfriend?? Ill just keep to my self!!! Well a few days later i was hired at coffee oasis and she came in frequently!!! We ended up being somewhat of friends!!! We never hung out out of coffee osis but i always wanted to!! well we didn't really talk progresivley just kinda off and on and hey whats up kinda thing!!! well summer went by and i had made the desision of asking her out on a date one day while i was at work!!! so i called and she answered I asked what she was doing and she stated that she was at the airport and just got back from kansas and that she would call me later:) But she never called me back!!! a few weeks went by and i forgot about it!!! I started dating this girl named kristin she was cool as shit...but then she kinda started acting a little strage and along with that i wa haveing odd dreams about her leaving me or selling me out!!! STEPHANIE came into coffee oasis one night to hang out with me and we were watching brighteyes videos on my labtop...she began to cry and in a way it was beautiful but then again heartbraking to see someone so great be hurting so bad!!! Asked what was wrong and she explained to me about her boyfriend braking up with her and we talked for a little while about it and i explained my situation with my girlfriend.....well after that night we began to hang out more often and i kept on getting more and more attracted to her every minute we were together!!!! Then came Rita and everyone left and i didn't hear from my girlfriend in about 4 in a half weeks after that so i broke up with her!!! Stephanie and i got a little closer after that and wen ended up being together and it was excellent everything was great about it i even got her a job wherre i worked!!! Richard, Hannah, Hilliary, Crass, and Robbie were always at my apartment and it was so much fun even though there were some scuffles here and there i love that time in my life and its left a mark on me for the rest of my life!!!! During these times my dad had takin me and my bro out to eat and informed us he was getting re-married:( Well i took this as if my parents were getting divorced again because my father had told me once and he promised"I WILL NEVER GET RE-MARRIED SON I PROMISE" well so much for that dad...I held all my feelings about it back from everyone and i Never do that...and i was soon to find out it would haunt me!!! I started getting really weird about being with someone...I know now that i should have talked to someone about it robbie or Stephanie but i didn't and the night of my dads wedding i got drunk and drove home which i also Never Ever do!!! That next morning i called Stephanie and told her i couldn't be with her and she begged for me not to be doing this and the odd thing was i didn't want to be doing it...I just did it!?!?!?! That night an old friend had called and she stayed the night that night...Yes i know thats a really shitty thing to do and i feel like shit about it but nothing happend i swear!!! Well anyways me and stephanie were broke up for a while and i couldn't feel normal not being with her so i tried and tried to get her bak but she said no...Well we ended up talking again but there was no label....We wanted to see how things would work out...We did this for another month or so and there was a fight here and there but thats just going to happen you know he said at the time i didn't try hard enough and maybe i didn't!?!?! So then i finally tell her i want her to be my girlfriend!!! She says she wants to think about it for a while and it wa fine with me!!! She really did a # on me ive changed so much and all i want is to treat her right...so a day or so goes by and she fianlly tells me she wants to be with me too!!!! YESSSSS!!!! I was so happy and i were happy together for a long time until last monday:( when i was staying the night at her house!!! thats when she said we need a brake we need to chill out!!! But why? She needs to find out what she wants....And i hope its me!!!! I try to explain to her about how i feel and that we can make it work we can work everything that needs to be worked out!!! I just want her to know how much she means to me and that i truley do lover her and i hope to be with her on valentines day and if iam not i don't know what else iam going to do except sit in my apartment like iam today well i gues i just needed to get that off my chest!!! It feels a little better!! well i need to go eat with my mother and wash some dishes!!! thanx for reading!!!! I love you STEPHANIE NOEL TANNER!!!!