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Since Wednesday my hearts been broken in two pieces. One that still misses Terence and one that is finally free. It was so hard for me to do that to him, knowing that he has been left by virtually everyone important in his life. It was even worse for me knowing that his best friend was here, whom I've always been SO insecure about. I'm perfectly ok with him having girls that are friends, but not ones that they text every single day and ones that if I knew if given the chance, they'd be together. It also doesnt help that she got to meet one of his friends, even if it was a simple "Hi" it was more than I ever got - I never even had a chance. Needless to say there's been so many tears, hurt, anger, regret, happiness. I don't know how i feel. Lost is a good word, I guess. I wish I could make him grow up 5 years tomorrow so he'd have his shit together and he'd be a bit of a different person. I dont want to not talk to him, so we still talk every day. Not as much though. I wish it was easier. I know it'll get easier, but christ it hurts. I dont know if I'm going to miss him as a person ,or his company. Probably the latter, considering I've had so many gripes with him and he never seemed to fully understand.

I guess it's time to start another chapter in my life. I never pictured it to be this hard.