A Scrub Is A Guy Who Can't Get No Love From Me
Well, I was going to rant about my sister today and how much of a borderline psychotic she's become, but the boiling bubble of rage that's churning inside of me right now is forcing me to discuss a loser kid from my hometown that will henceforth be known only as Scrub, for reasons which I will make clear.
Scrub went to my high school and was also a co-worker in the supermarket I used to work at. Physically he can best be described as a pre-adolescent boy who's been gene-spliced with an old lady: a fat little dumpling with huge thick glasses, a rounded, bloated face and a terrible, raspy lisp of a speech impediment. The youngest child of a notoriously poor family in town, Scrub would often act as the fourth wheel to Richard, Alex and myself, partly out of our own pity and partly because, well, we weren't such hot shit ourselves by any definition. He was quite the fuckup, constantly getting in trouble or getting fired from his various retail jobs for lateness or for simply not showing up for long stretches of time. Often these tardy episodes could be blamed on his late night X-Box sessions, which ruled his otherwise empty excuse of a life.
There have been times when Richard and Alex have tried to hook up Scrub (who for the record scored higher on his SATs than any of us but had no interest in college) with positions in their respective offices. Sometimes Scrub would show for these interviews, make a good impression, get hired, and a few weeks or days later be out on his ass again because he stopped showing up. Sometimes he'd show up late for the interviews, or not show up altogether. Eventually Richard and Alex gave up on him, understandably so.
Since that point, Scrub moved to Biloxi, Mississippi and quickly became a celebrated manager of a fast food joint down there. So it seemed to all who knew him that he had acquired some type of work ethic, and when he was forced to move back to New York recently it seemed like a nice idea to help him get employed again. Clearly he needed a higher paying job with benefits, and he appeared to be desperate for any help that the three of us could give him.
So cut to me, today, waiting for Scrub to show up for his 12:00 interview for a data entry position here at my office. When 12:15 came around I decided I would try to give him a ring at home to satisfy my fears that he hadn't even left yet. When Scrub actually answered the phone and told me that he "got stuck babysitting his nephew", the phone nearly evaporated in my hand, I was so heated with anger. The manager who was expecting to interview him did not take his tardiness kindly, and more or less told me that I'd better not be planning to pass along any more recommendations anytime in the near future. There was one particular co-worker whom I despise with every fibre of my being who overheard this exchange, and made some cocky remarks. There was a violent spell of smirk-wiping going on in my imagination at the point, as you can surly understand.
So, in a nutshell, I totally got fucked over by some lazy inconsiderate bastard today. And to make matters worse, I have to share a hotel room with this kid next week for Alex's goddamn wedding.
Serenity Now!