Monkeys With Scorpion Tails
Everybody needs some type of junk reading in their lives, and I've decided to make my chosen poison the "high fantasy" genre, since I enjoy the Lord of the Rings and Wheel of Time books. There's a lot of stupidity and a shitload of cliche involved in this type of literature, but when it's done right it's the ultimate form of escapism for me.
So last night I finished Myrren's Gift, and man, was it dumb. A sizeable portion of cliches were available-- guys with swords, castles, hot tomboy princesses, spells, kingdoms with funny names detailed heavily with all types of fake sociological characteristics, etc. I think the only thing that was missing was cool monsters; the only available representative from said group being "zerkons", which were basically monkeys with scorpion tails. Monkeys with scorpion tails are definitively not cool. Also uncool was the completely repetitive exposition-laden dialogue, and the fact that characters actually said "fuck" and "balls" and "ass" repeatedly. Everyone knows that in fantasy novels the characters are supposed to have made-up curses like "By Fashwatz's Holy Beard!" and such. And there were detailed sex scenes, which are totally embarassing to read in books where someone gets his fool head chopped off by "zerkons" in the preceding chapter. Oi. But what's one to expect when the book's author is some Australian chick with a PR day job? Still, though, all things considered the book was entertaining enough, and I might even check out parts 2 and 3 of the trilogy some day (hey, I have low expectations in life, what can I say...)
Well I was gonna talk about other things but it just got mad busy again. Oh, the misery of having to work for a living...