Remnants - Ch. 5
chapter four
Jared wakes with the sun nearly blinding him as it streams through the open curtains of the room. Checking the clock, he realizes that he's slept in and suddenly, a panic sets in. It's nearly noon and the city is in high gear. He dresses as if the place were on fire, the urgency to find Jensen driving him to do everything double-time. The address in the notebooks says 4th, so after a quick inquiry at the main desk, Jared is off with a street map, his ruck sack, and more than a few butterflies in his stomach. He barely gets to the parking lot before realizing that he's going nowhere fast. The street is bumper-to-bumper, everyone crawling along and horns blaring every few seconds. Jared doubles back to the reception area and gets a knowing grin from the concierge.
“It's faster to walk and take the subway, my friend,” the man chuckles as he marks out the subway map for Jared, handing it over after a few moments, the route clearly indicated.
“Thanks,” he nods, heading quickly back out the front door of the hotel, the need to find Jensen more urgent than any other at that moment.
Jared is so caught up in following the map that he doesn't see the petite brunette stopped right in front of him. With a smack, he runs right into her, managing to catch her around the waist before she falls into the middle of the busy street.
“Jesus, Gigantor! Think you could at least say, 'hi Mindy! Nice to see you! Missed you too, sweet cheeks!' before you run me over?” The voice is instantly familiar and Jared lets out a joyful laugh as he looks down to find Mindy hanging off his forearm.
“Mindy, what are you doing in New York? I didn't think I'd ever see you again!”
“I'm stalking you, asshole, what do you think? I live here, remember?”
“Oh, right.” Jared helps her back upright and gives her a proper hug. She smacks his chest as retribution and he laughs.
“The better question, Tarzan, is what are you doing here?”
“End of the road trip, remember? I'm actually off to find Jensen right now.” Mindy lights up like someone plugged her into a socket. Her hands clap furiously in front of her chest and she actually bounces a little before grabbing his hand and leading him towards the subway.
“STALKING EXPEDITION!!” she cries to no one in particular as they head down the stairs to the platform.
“What's the address, boy wonder?” Mindy asks when she's finally finished dragging him down to the underbelly of New York.
“234 East 4th Street,” Jared answers, looking helplessly at the map and hoping for both their sakes they're in the right station to catch the train that the concierge marked.
“Hey! That's right by where I work! Let's go hot stuff, we've got a mystery man to find for ya!”
“What are you on?” Jared finally manages to ask, head cocked to the side, eyes narrowed as he looks down at her.
“Coffee,” Mindy replies with a big smile, holding up a Venti cup of Starbucks that's still steaming. Jared can only shake his head, his face devoid of any expression but amusement.
The ride seems to last forever, but really, they're across the twelve blocks they need to go in a matter of minutes. Mindy's tugging on his arm like he's a rag doll as she marches off towards the street above them, Jared barely able to keep up despite the significant difference in leg length between him and the tiny powerhouse.
“Okay, so that address is residential, which means we're gonna have to do some sweet talking to find out where he works if he's not home. What are you gonna say when you meet him?” Jared pauses in the middle of the sidewalk, frozen at the question. Not until Mindy asked did it occur to him just how nuts this whole trip had been. He's driven across the damn country for a man he's never even seen. What if the guy is a psycho? What if he never wants to see the journal again? What if he's got no teeth?
“Deep breath there, Sasquatch. No popping arteries on my watch, you got that? Now, we can rule out him being a homeless bum because his apartment is right down there,” Mindy points a little ways down the street to a building that's old but maintained, red brick faded from years of sun exposure.
“Second, this is a nice part of town, which means he's not broke. Third, if he's not home, we're stopping by my place of employ before we go find him at work, because you need some serious calming down.” She jabs him in the chest, pulling his focus off his speeding brain and Jared shakes his head before looking down at her.
“He's not a booty call, Mindy.”
“Sure he is. And if he's not, I guarantee you he will be by the end of the night. They're all sluts in this part of town--”
“Whoa! Seriously, too much info!”
“Jesus, you are gay!”
“I've never hit a woman, but so help me god...” Mindy and him both share a smile, each knowing the other is only teasing. Jared's grateful for the banter as it keeps his mind off what's about to happen and how horribly wrong it could all go.
They ring the buzzer but get no answer, so they make their way to the maintenance office of the building. Mindy's convinced she can somehow wheedle Jensen's work address out of the superintendent and while Jared's far from confident in her skills, he goes along with it, knowing better than to put up a fight with a girl like Mindy.
“I'm sorry, but I just can't give out that information to strangers, family or no family. I'm really very sorry,” the man, who's just a few years shy of fifty and looks like he's growing a demon child in his belly, tells Mindy again, her puppy dog eyes having no effect on him.
It shouldn't surprise Jared when she raises her shirt and flashes the man, but he still manages to look like something of a petrified nutcracker as she gives the man a full monty.
“You have to stop doing that.”
“Why? It's fun and we got the address, didn't we?”
“Yeah, and probably an APB put out with your description, to boot,” Jared murmurs as they head around the corner, the address only four blocks away according to Mindy.
“You're just jealous 'cause I've got what every guy wants. BOOBIES!”
“I can list off five men in the immediate vicinity that want nothing to do with your boobies,” he replies morosely, knowing full well that they're probably being stared at by now.
“There it is! Come on, Ramblin' Man. Time to meet your prince charming!” Mindy grins from ear to ear as she tugs him across the street, heading straight for a place called The Green Bean. The closer they get, the smaller the place looks and as they get within a few footsteps of the door, Jared starts to panic again.
“Mindy, this is crazy, I can't do this. I'm not ready. What if he hates me for reading the journal? Huh? What then?”
“So then you slap him with it and go back to good 'ol Texas.”
“I hate you so much right now.”
“You looove me.” She beams, pulling the door open and heading inside, where everything seems so much quieter than out on the street.
Jared feels like the loudest person in the entire establishment as the bell rings above the door, not because he opened it, but because his head smashes against it as he walks in. Closing his eyes, he tries using the Jedi mind trick on everyone in the place, hoping no one noticed. When he opens them again, he finds that not a single patron is so much a looking at him. Mindy's gasp next to him sounds surprisingly softer than his own entrance and he looks in time to see her rush at a man wearing a v-neck, striped sweater and newsboy cap.
“JENSEN!”
He could pass out that second and it would be better than the scene that's unfolding in front of him. How is it possible that out of all the men in New York City, Mindy happens to know the one who lost his notebook in Texas? Jared feels a little sick as he watches the two exchange greetings before Mindy starts waving him over.
Taking a few deep breaths, Jared manages to make his legs function properly. Placing one foot in front of the other, he slowly makes his way towards the pair. His stomach is in knots and Jared's certain that if it weren't for Mindy forcing him to get his ass in gear, he'd be leaving right back the way he came. Jensen is gorgeous. Green eyes that shine with hints of amber and the longest lashes he's ever seen on a man, anywhere. As he reaches them, Jensen smiles and it's as if the heaven's opened up to let the celestial rays touch the plebes. Jared's almost certain he can hear cherubs singing Hallelujah somewhere nearby.
“Jared, this is Jensen, Jensen, this is Jared and I think...I think Jared has something that belongs to you, cutie,” Mindy breaks the silence between them with an impish grin and the revelation Jared was hoping she would keep to herself until he'd found a way to bring it up more subtly. Jensen's face creases in confused amusement, crossing his arms as he waits for Jared to explain.
“Can I at least get a coffee first? I haven't had breakfast,” Jared says weakly, feeling a little woozy from all the fight-or-flight response that's coursing through him.
“Sure, man, what can I get you? I'm about to go on break, so we can go somewhere quieter to talk,” Jensen offers with a gentle smile as he produces a small, lined notepad, ready to take Jared's order.
“I'll have a espresso and he'll have a double, on account of the size,” Mindy interjects, shooting Jared a glance that clearly states, 'don't fuck this up'.
“Yeah, what she said,” Jared echoes, his voice sounding distant even to his own ears. Jensen chuckles and then heads back behind the bar.
The second he's out of earshot, Jared closes in on Mindy. “Why didn't you tell me you knew him?” he hisses, finger pointing accusingly at her chest.
“I had no idea it was the same Jensen that serves me coffee every morning! And quit pointing, it's rude. Not my fault you're pining over the guy, though I really can't blame you, he's one hot piece of--”
“I'm not pining over him!”
“Denial is not just a river in Egypt, monkey brains! Shut up, he's coming back!” Both of them straighten as Jensen comes back with three tiny cups of coffee.
“Three espressos, just the way you like 'em, Mindy,” Jensen states, jerking his chin in the direction of an empty table as Mindy swipes her cup from him, skipping off the the furthest corner of the shop as possible. Jared follows Jensen despite his mind screaming at him to follow Mindy instead. The other man sits and stretches, yawning before he settles in his chair, a smile crossing his face despite the bomb Mindy had just dropped.
“Jared, right? I'm Jensen. Sorry about Mindy, she gets a little...weird when she hasn't had her coffee,” he explains with a smile, Jared instantly put at ease by Jensen's easygoing manner.
“She just...” Jared points, confused as he knows damn well she's just had her coffee
“The right coffee,” Jensen laughs, seeming to know exactly how Mindy's morning routine goes. “So, you have something of mine?” The question is asked softly, not accusingly in the slightest, Jensen merely curious about what Jared could possibly have that belongs to him.
Jared bites his lip a moment before tugging his ruck sack into his lap and flipping up the top. With a look up at Jensen, Jared takes a deep breath and pulls out the journal. Jensen's face softens and he looks as though he's been reunited with an old friend. Even his bottom lip begins to tremble before he scrubs a hand over his face, composing himself.
“Where did you find this?” he asks, his voice soft and almost cracking, Jensen's green eyes a touch lighter in the early afternoon sun.
“It blew into my house back in Amarillo,” Jared replies with a small shrug, his own face tensing at the memory of finding the book after finding his family.
Jared isn't prepared for the tight hug he's suddenly given by the man across from him, not even the little table getting in the way of the show of gratitude. Arms pinned at his sides, Jared can only lift a hand to pat Jensen's back, knowing better than to speak in case he ruins the moment. When Jensen sits back down, the freckled skin under his eyes is wet and he laughs a little embarrassed chuckle before wiping his eyes and taking a deep huff of breath.
“I thought it was gone forever. I must have dropped it last time I was home, and by the time I realized it was missing, I was already on a plane back here,” he explained, slipping the elastic off the notebook and taking a quick peek through the familiar pages.
“Did you read it?” Jensen asks after a minute, his own expression hard to make out.
“I...followed it, actually. Took the same trip you did when you wrote it. I've been going through a rough patch in my own life and when I accidentally looked at the first page, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to start fresh. So I packed a bag, got into my car and just...went,” Jared explains, still having a hard time reading Jensen's face despite the smile that crosses it from ear to ear.
“It's a good trip, right? Did you like the music?”
“It was...perfect,” Jared answers, nodding to both questions as he pulls out his own completed book, setting it on the table in front of him. Jensen's face lights up, a knowing smile coloring his features.
“You wrote one, too? May I?”
“It's only fair,” Jared grins, passing over the nearly-identical notebook, Jensen picking it up and setting it over his own before opening to the first page. He skims, laughing at some of the pictures and smiling fondly at a few of the descriptions, Jensen nodding his head in general agreement.
“This is great. Do you mind it I actually take a night or two to read it? Then we can meet up to swap them back?” Jensen looks so excited about the prospect that no matter how personal the entries, Jared can't bring himself to say no. So, with a nod, he concedes, Jared pulling out his phone so they can swap numbers. They sit and talk for a little while longer, about Wendell and his crazy knife, about the hike and the view from the top, about grape-stomping and the Nationals game. They laugh and agree enthusiastically with the other's opinions of things and by the time they're through, it's long ceased to be day.
“Thank you again, for bringing it back to me, and in such great condition,” Jensen remarks as they stand outside the now-quieter street, both notebooks clutched safely against his chest, his hand patting the back cover of Jared's as Jensen gives him another smile
“You're welcome. In a way, finding you helped me find myself, so for that, I have you to thank,” Jared replies honestly, one hand extended for a shake. Jensen's smile widens and he shakes Jared's hand before pulling him in for the ubiquitous bro hug, the two slapping each other firmly on the back.
“I'll keep it safe, I promise,” Jensen adds, holding up Jared's notebook and waving it a bit.
“If he doesn't, he's getting his ass beat by me,” Mindy suddenly pipes up, her flats clicking on the sidewalk as she rounds the corner. Once Jared and Jensen had gotten into their conversation, Jared had noticed her slip out of the cafe with a wink and a wave, mouthing that she had to go to work. Jared had nodded and let her go quickly, too caught up in the subject with Jensen to need her physical presence as support any longer.
“Hey, where are you staying, by the way?” Jensen asks turning back after he'd begun to walk away, his chin jerking up along with the question.
“The Grand Union--” Jared begins to answer but Mindy cuts him off.
“Not anymore you're not. You're coming home with me,”
“Mindy, I'm fairly certain we've had this discussion,” Jared shoots her the evil eye, not wanting to have to come right out and say it in front of Jensen, thinking that Mindy, in her coffee haze, must have forgotten he's gay.
“I don't want you for your cock, Godzilla. I have a dildo for that. I want you for movie night and so that you don't have to be haunted by the ghost of JP Morgan while you try and sleep.” Jensen snorts and Jared can only look at her, mystified that she's even a real human, as she rattles on about tax accountants and typewriters being thrown from windows.
“I think what Mindy's trying to say is that she needs a roommate.”
“But I--”
“You drove your own car here, not a rental, right?” Mindy interjects, looking up at him with her hand on her hips. Jared nods.
“You packed light, correct?” Another nod.
“You don't have plane tickets back, or any plans of selling your vehicle for fare?” A shake of his head and Jared realizes what she's getting at. He smiles, feeling a warmth spread over his heart at just how easily he's been accepted by the two newest people in his life.
“So long as I'm living here, I might as well bunk up with the coolest chick on the block,” Jared states, both Mindy and Jensen smiling brightly at him in agreement.
Jared does however, spend one more night at the Union, only because he's missed checkout by a long-shot. Sleep comes easy and Jared dreams differently. The dream isn't about Chad and the kids, isn't filled with whirling gusts of wind and sad faces. It isn't even filled with memories. Instead, all he sees are green eyes, plush lips, long lashes, and a smile that belongs on the silver screen, inducing fainting whenever it's shown. He wakes with a hard-on the size of his former home state and more guilt than he knows what to do with. Scrambling into the shower, Jared sets it to the coldest it will go, his body shivering as it goes back to a more appropriate state. Angered at himself for even thinking that way, Jared slams his fist into the tile, murmuring an apology to whomever might be listening. When he gets out, he hears the knock on the door and opens it to find Mindy standing there, looking wholly unimpressed. Her face is a contradiction to the feminine, almost gumball-sweet, dress she's wearing. It reminds him of Lucy from Peanuts.
“You were jerking off to my best friend. I'm going to slash your throat in your sleep.” Jared thankfully doesn't miss the deadpan in her face and tone, able to keep from getting defensive, and letting her in as he sets about packing up and getting dressed. She sits on the bed and watches, munching on a granola bar and flicking on the TV. Some minister is preaching about sin and sodomy and Mindy laughs so hard she chokes on the bar.
“It's a sign, Padalecki,” she giggles, turning off the TV before the man can continue further.
“A sign for what?” He grins back, shaking his head at the old coot.
“That you are meant to be here. You've got preachers up in arms, boy!” Jared just ruffles her hair and leads the way out of the room, glad to be done with hotels for the time being.
Mindy's apartment thankfully has parking and the rest of the day is spent scouring the nearby stores for an affordable mattress. She claims there's no need for a frame, but Jared doesn't particularly care for sleeping on the floor, so in the end they settle for a sleek, black, Swedish-looking number and a king-sized mattress that costs him all of 200 bucks. The penthouse apartment overlooks one of hipper neighborhoods in the city and, as they haul his bed in, Jared wonders how she can afford it on a single salary.
“Mindy, what exactly do you do for a living?”
“I work at a head shop during the day and play with my band at night. Oh, and before you ask, mom and dad are eccentric hippie millionaires. They pay me to look after the apartment here while they live in an adobe in Nevada. Burning Man takes up a lot of their time.” Jared decides not to press the issue any further, a little afraid of what he might find out.
Mindy insists that since he's going to be living with her that he should create at least one piece of art to hang on the expansive walls of the apartment, most of which are already either painted on directly or proudly displaying some mixture of graffiti, fine art, and mental breakdowns.
“I can't really do art. I mean, I can draw stick figures, but that's about it,” Jared tries, but Mindy's not having it.
“Fine, I'm calling Jen and you, he, and I are going to have a Jackson Pollock night tonight.” It's as though Mindy's threatening to call his father and Jared can't help but laugh as he unfolds the last of his clothes into the closet.
Mindy's not kidding. Come dinner, Jensen and what seems like a million other people, are all packed into the apartment, everyone having a great time. Jared keeps his room locked, if only to keep some random drunk reveler from going through his family's things. Even Mindy hadn't seen him bring in the remnants of his past life.
“No, but you can't be scared, 'cause if you're scared, you will fuck it up,” Jensen tutors standing next to Jared, a huge white canvas in front of them. He's traded the sweater and newsboy for a charcoal v-neck t-shirt, a couple necklaces with their pendants hidden by the material, and jeans splattered with paint; it's Boho chic the likes of which Jared only thought existed in GQ or Nylon Guy. Jensen's barefoot like most of the guests and with a beer in one hand, he uses the other to dip a rather large brush in a sunny peach color, passing the brush to Jared when he's finished.
“Close your eyes and throw it,” Jensen instructs Jared, mimicking the action with his empty hand.
“You guys are all nuts!” Jared laughs, taking a big swig of his beer before doing as asked and lobbing the brush at the canvas. A wave of cheers goes around before everyone around them follows Jared's example and throws their own brushes at the canvas, filling it quicker than any one person could.
“Congratulations, you just made your first piece of art, Padalecki.” Mindy grins, looking as happy as can be as she smears a dot of paint on his nose, much to everyone's amusement. Jared wipes it off with his forearm, grinning back at her, truly having the time of his life. All of Mindy and Jensen's friends have accepted him with open arms and Jared can't recall a time when he felt so involved.
As he looks around, a shock of blond hair catches his eye. In an instant, Jared's jaw drops, his beer hitting the floor as it slips out of his grip.
It's Chad.
Desperation fills him as he starts pushing through the crowd of people, oblivious to everything except the man who he held, lifeless, in his arms after the tornado. Jared's so intent on reaching the man, that he doesn't realize Jensen is following at a close distance, worry and confusion etched across the planes of his face.
Jared reaches the man and grabs his shoulder, making him turn around. His breath hitches in his throat and the tears fog his eyes almost instantly as the guy faces him, a perplexed look easily visible in his green eyes.
“Hey, buddy, bar's that way,” he says before turning once again and making his way towards the bathroom, leaving Jared standing there, sobs choking every breath as the tears threaten to spill down his cheeks. It's not Chad, just a guy who looks like him. His nose is different and his hair doesn't stick up the same way, but he's close enough to pass for a doppelganger and Jared feels his heart shatter all over again as the last shard of hope leaves him.
“Jay, you all right, man?” Jensen's voice sounds from behind him, but Jared doesn't move, too stunned and grieved to do much of anything.
“Come on, let's go somewhere a little quieter for a second,” he adds, his hand sliding warmly over Jared's back as Jensen leads them to the locked bedroom.
Jared manages to unlock the door before making a bee line for the bed and collapsing into it. Jensen's there in a heartbeat, concern marring every beautiful feature and Jared can't help but feel a little guilty for putting the look there.
“It wasn't Chad,” he mumbles helplessly, his face wet at he looks up at Jensen as though he's holding the only life preserver on a sinking ship.
“Okay, who was Chad, Jay? I read the name in the journal, but you only talk about him once or twice,” Jensen tries, his hand rubbing comfortingly over Jared's arm, his new friend's sole focus on him.
“Ch-Chad was my husband,” Jared stutters, sniffling as he slowly sits up and pulls the picture out of its secret place in his nigh stand. He hands it to Jensen, the paper weathered and torn in a few corners, but still making it easy to see who's who. Jensen takes in the picture silently, studying it before giving Jared a sympathetic smile.
“Divorce?”
“Tornado. Him and the kids,” Jared chokes out, somehow managing to give Jensen a smile. His friend doesn't return it, his face molding into a visage of pain and knowing.
“I'm so sorry,” Jensen whispers, one strong hand coming up to wipe away the tears that Jared missed. The touch soothes Jared and he can't help but close his eyes and lean into it, suddenly weary.
“And the guy out there, Mike, looks just like him. Jesus, Jay, if I had known, I wouldn't have invited him. I'm so sorry. So, so sorry.” There's genuine remorse in Jensen's voice and it makes Jared feel bad. Just because he's crazy enough to think his husband's come back from the dead, doesn't mean Jensen has to go around selectively inviting his friends.
“No, no, it's okay. Just threw me for a loop, that's all.” He shook his head, his breathing slowly returning to normal with the help of Jensen's warm touch.
“I was coming back from a business trip and it ran right through town. I found the three of them still inside the house, all crouched up in the bathtub. The looked like they were asleep, but...” Jared offers as much as he can, feeling like he should divulge at least some of his past, given all that he'd read about Jensen's.
Jensen says nothing, merely nods and pulls him into a hug which Jared gladly accepts. They stay locked longer than normal, both simply breathing each other in, the unspoken connection between them needing no explanation. Jared makes a quiet little noise as he feels a tender kiss fall on his temple, Jensen pulling away slowly afterward.
“We've been through a lot, huh?” Jensen states with a grin, his own green eyes a little wet as he slides his hands down Jared's arms, entwining their fingers before giving both his hands a squeeze.
“Yeah, we have. Thanks for making the road map for me to follow,” Jared replies, looking down at Jensen's hands and finding, to his surprise, that the tattoos he'd seen peeks of the day before are actually full sleeves.
“Wow, I didn't realize you had so many tattoos,” Jared laughs, feeling a little silly for not having noticed sooner. The work is beautiful and probably cost a fortune, but it looks good on Jensen and the smile he gets for bringing up the subject is well worth the embarrassment of having failed to notice when Jensen first walked through the door.
“Yeah, they kinda just show up every year. I'm gonna start running out of room soon.” They both share a laugh, eyes locked as they sober. Jared knows what's coming, knows that it'll be good, but still can't help but be a little scared as Jensen leans in.
Their lips meet and the world falls away, leaving only the sounds of heartbeats and the sensation of Jensen's eyelashes brushing against Jared's cheeks. Panic pulls at his heart and with a shaky breath, Jared pulls away as though Jensen's on fire.
“I'm sorry, I can't. It's only been a few weeks, and-”
“I understand, I do. Believe me, after Josh died, I didn't want to even look at anyone for months. No sweat, Jared, honest.”
A frown creases his features, Jared embarrassed at his own reaction. Despite Jensen's assertion that it's not a big deal, Jared can't help but feel as though he's letting the other man down. He doesn't have much more time to think on it however, as the door swing open and Mindy steps in, a grin brightening her paint spattered face two plastic drink cups in each hand.
“Hey assholes, it's time to break the wine glass! Let's go!”
“Mindy, you're not Jewish,” Jensen states plainly, standing up and grabbing his own half-empty beer, his demeanor as calm as it was.
“No, but Yusuf said we could break it over his head, so let's fucking go already!” Her own empty plastic cup goes flying in their direction, both Jensen and Jared ducking just in time to narrowly avoid getting hit.
“Let's go.” Jared grins sheepishly, more grateful for Mindy's intrusion than she'd ever know.
The next few weeks are spent looking for a job. Despite the economy, there are plenty of places with for hire signs in their windows, and after fixing his resume, Jared goes on the hunt. He'd given his two weeks at Tyson after landing in New York, knowing he could never go back to Amarillo and live in any sort of peace; not with how many memories the town held. No, he had to venture forward, dip his feet in the unknown and take more risks, just as Chad had always told him to do.
The first set of job interviews come through Mindy's connections and very quickly, Jared realizes his roommate is a little whacked. First stop is the head shop where she works, but when it becomes apparent that Jared doesn't know Mango from Jack Hair, he gets ushered out the door much to Mindy's embarrassment. The next stop is a sex shop and, while he likes his jerk-off sessions as much as the next guy, Jared turns on his heel and practically runs when he spots a dildo the size of his forearm in the front window. Spot number three is some new-age bookstore where Jared gets his aura read and immediately gets kicked out for being the devil.
Jensen's connections seem better, but they turn out to be just as much of a disaster as Mindy's. The art store nearly fines him when he breaks a frame, the tattoo parlor laughs him out with his one tattoo, and the skate shop tests him by having him do an Olly and Jared sprains his ankle.
“That's it, I'm done, I'm going to be your mooching friend forever, got it? Ow, fucker!”
“Such a dirty mouth,” Jensen grins, continuing the gentle massage of Jared's swollen ankle, the ice pack ready to go on after.
“Did you try that one place I told you about?” Mindy calls from the kitchen, bringing out their dinner on a silver platter. Chinese cartons fill the tray, chopsticks sticking out of everyone's favorite dish.
“Yes, and they called me Sheitan, whatever the hell that means,” Jared mutters as he grabs his sweet and sour pork with fried rice, taking a big mouthful and chewing thoughtfully.
“You could always work at a gym, Jay. With all that definition,” Jensen suggests, gingerly laying the ice pack on Jared's ankle before grabbing his General Tsao's Chicken carton and digging in hungrily.
“And have grown men play find the penis with me in the showers? No thanks, I'll pass.” They all share a laugh, the three of them having walked by the local gym and gawked at the body builders for a good five minutes before being able to move on.
“What about a pet store? You said you liked animals, right? Or was that Yusuf?” Mindy asks, digging in to her veggie fried rice, her big blue eyes open wide as though she's having a revelation.
“No, couldn't have been Yusuf, he has cats,” Jensen interjects, waving his chopstick in the air to emphasize his words.
“No, it was me. Is there a pet store close by?”
“Yeah, the Dog's Bone,” Jensen offers helpfully, pointing out the window to a multicolored building just across the street. Jared gazes out at the store, noticing how every dog that comes out looks well-groomed, well-fed and, most importantly, happy.
Jared's nerves are understandably stretched taught as he walks into the store the next day, resume in hand. The woman at the counter looks up and smiles warmly at him. She's in her mid fifties and has the reddest hair Jared's ever seen on someone over twenty.
“Can I help you, sweetheart?” The moment she speaks, Jared's instantly reminded of his mother and he can't stop from smiling back at her as he approaches the counter.
“I'm looking for a job. Just moved to the city on a whim and need to start bringing in some income before my new roommate has my head. Here's my resume. I don't do drugs, drink very rarely, and I'm always on time.” Everything is said in one rushed breath, Jared now terrified of rejection.
The woman, whose name tag reads Donna, simply chuckles, taking the piece of paper and giving it a quick read over. Her eyebrows go up as she reads about Tyson.
“So you want to go from killing animals to caring for them? Noble.”
“Something like that. Look, I know I don't have any experience, but I love dogs, have always had one up until recently because my daughter was allergic--”
“Was?”
“She's passed away,” Jared says quietly, his shoes suddenly very interesting. The woman gasps and instantly moves around the counter, looking very much like she's going to hug Jared and just as he had with Jensen, he accepts the action with a soft laugh.
“And they say people in Texas are friendly. They've got nothing on New York.”
“You're hired,” Donna says after a few moments, giving his arms a squeeze as she looks up at him intently.
“Just like that?” Jared chokes out, one eyebrow raised, a little shocked that it was a matter of walking across the street to find a job.
“You look good on paper, you're obviously very honest, you're not a pothead, and you like animals. Anything else, I can teach you,” Donna replies with a shrug, reaching behind the counter and handing him an apron.
“When can you start?”
chapter six
Jared wakes with the sun nearly blinding him as it streams through the open curtains of the room. Checking the clock, he realizes that he's slept in and suddenly, a panic sets in. It's nearly noon and the city is in high gear. He dresses as if the place were on fire, the urgency to find Jensen driving him to do everything double-time. The address in the notebooks says 4th, so after a quick inquiry at the main desk, Jared is off with a street map, his ruck sack, and more than a few butterflies in his stomach. He barely gets to the parking lot before realizing that he's going nowhere fast. The street is bumper-to-bumper, everyone crawling along and horns blaring every few seconds. Jared doubles back to the reception area and gets a knowing grin from the concierge.
“It's faster to walk and take the subway, my friend,” the man chuckles as he marks out the subway map for Jared, handing it over after a few moments, the route clearly indicated.
“Thanks,” he nods, heading quickly back out the front door of the hotel, the need to find Jensen more urgent than any other at that moment.
Jared is so caught up in following the map that he doesn't see the petite brunette stopped right in front of him. With a smack, he runs right into her, managing to catch her around the waist before she falls into the middle of the busy street.
“Jesus, Gigantor! Think you could at least say, 'hi Mindy! Nice to see you! Missed you too, sweet cheeks!' before you run me over?” The voice is instantly familiar and Jared lets out a joyful laugh as he looks down to find Mindy hanging off his forearm.
“Mindy, what are you doing in New York? I didn't think I'd ever see you again!”
“I'm stalking you, asshole, what do you think? I live here, remember?”
“Oh, right.” Jared helps her back upright and gives her a proper hug. She smacks his chest as retribution and he laughs.
“The better question, Tarzan, is what are you doing here?”
“End of the road trip, remember? I'm actually off to find Jensen right now.” Mindy lights up like someone plugged her into a socket. Her hands clap furiously in front of her chest and she actually bounces a little before grabbing his hand and leading him towards the subway.
“STALKING EXPEDITION!!” she cries to no one in particular as they head down the stairs to the platform.
“What's the address, boy wonder?” Mindy asks when she's finally finished dragging him down to the underbelly of New York.
“234 East 4th Street,” Jared answers, looking helplessly at the map and hoping for both their sakes they're in the right station to catch the train that the concierge marked.
“Hey! That's right by where I work! Let's go hot stuff, we've got a mystery man to find for ya!”
“What are you on?” Jared finally manages to ask, head cocked to the side, eyes narrowed as he looks down at her.
“Coffee,” Mindy replies with a big smile, holding up a Venti cup of Starbucks that's still steaming. Jared can only shake his head, his face devoid of any expression but amusement.
The ride seems to last forever, but really, they're across the twelve blocks they need to go in a matter of minutes. Mindy's tugging on his arm like he's a rag doll as she marches off towards the street above them, Jared barely able to keep up despite the significant difference in leg length between him and the tiny powerhouse.
“Okay, so that address is residential, which means we're gonna have to do some sweet talking to find out where he works if he's not home. What are you gonna say when you meet him?” Jared pauses in the middle of the sidewalk, frozen at the question. Not until Mindy asked did it occur to him just how nuts this whole trip had been. He's driven across the damn country for a man he's never even seen. What if the guy is a psycho? What if he never wants to see the journal again? What if he's got no teeth?
“Deep breath there, Sasquatch. No popping arteries on my watch, you got that? Now, we can rule out him being a homeless bum because his apartment is right down there,” Mindy points a little ways down the street to a building that's old but maintained, red brick faded from years of sun exposure.
“Second, this is a nice part of town, which means he's not broke. Third, if he's not home, we're stopping by my place of employ before we go find him at work, because you need some serious calming down.” She jabs him in the chest, pulling his focus off his speeding brain and Jared shakes his head before looking down at her.
“He's not a booty call, Mindy.”
“Sure he is. And if he's not, I guarantee you he will be by the end of the night. They're all sluts in this part of town--”
“Whoa! Seriously, too much info!”
“Jesus, you are gay!”
“I've never hit a woman, but so help me god...” Mindy and him both share a smile, each knowing the other is only teasing. Jared's grateful for the banter as it keeps his mind off what's about to happen and how horribly wrong it could all go.
They ring the buzzer but get no answer, so they make their way to the maintenance office of the building. Mindy's convinced she can somehow wheedle Jensen's work address out of the superintendent and while Jared's far from confident in her skills, he goes along with it, knowing better than to put up a fight with a girl like Mindy.
“I'm sorry, but I just can't give out that information to strangers, family or no family. I'm really very sorry,” the man, who's just a few years shy of fifty and looks like he's growing a demon child in his belly, tells Mindy again, her puppy dog eyes having no effect on him.
It shouldn't surprise Jared when she raises her shirt and flashes the man, but he still manages to look like something of a petrified nutcracker as she gives the man a full monty.
“You have to stop doing that.”
“Why? It's fun and we got the address, didn't we?”
“Yeah, and probably an APB put out with your description, to boot,” Jared murmurs as they head around the corner, the address only four blocks away according to Mindy.
“You're just jealous 'cause I've got what every guy wants. BOOBIES!”
“I can list off five men in the immediate vicinity that want nothing to do with your boobies,” he replies morosely, knowing full well that they're probably being stared at by now.
“There it is! Come on, Ramblin' Man. Time to meet your prince charming!” Mindy grins from ear to ear as she tugs him across the street, heading straight for a place called The Green Bean. The closer they get, the smaller the place looks and as they get within a few footsteps of the door, Jared starts to panic again.
“Mindy, this is crazy, I can't do this. I'm not ready. What if he hates me for reading the journal? Huh? What then?”
“So then you slap him with it and go back to good 'ol Texas.”
“I hate you so much right now.”
“You looove me.” She beams, pulling the door open and heading inside, where everything seems so much quieter than out on the street.
Jared feels like the loudest person in the entire establishment as the bell rings above the door, not because he opened it, but because his head smashes against it as he walks in. Closing his eyes, he tries using the Jedi mind trick on everyone in the place, hoping no one noticed. When he opens them again, he finds that not a single patron is so much a looking at him. Mindy's gasp next to him sounds surprisingly softer than his own entrance and he looks in time to see her rush at a man wearing a v-neck, striped sweater and newsboy cap.
“JENSEN!”
He could pass out that second and it would be better than the scene that's unfolding in front of him. How is it possible that out of all the men in New York City, Mindy happens to know the one who lost his notebook in Texas? Jared feels a little sick as he watches the two exchange greetings before Mindy starts waving him over.
Taking a few deep breaths, Jared manages to make his legs function properly. Placing one foot in front of the other, he slowly makes his way towards the pair. His stomach is in knots and Jared's certain that if it weren't for Mindy forcing him to get his ass in gear, he'd be leaving right back the way he came. Jensen is gorgeous. Green eyes that shine with hints of amber and the longest lashes he's ever seen on a man, anywhere. As he reaches them, Jensen smiles and it's as if the heaven's opened up to let the celestial rays touch the plebes. Jared's almost certain he can hear cherubs singing Hallelujah somewhere nearby.
“Jared, this is Jensen, Jensen, this is Jared and I think...I think Jared has something that belongs to you, cutie,” Mindy breaks the silence between them with an impish grin and the revelation Jared was hoping she would keep to herself until he'd found a way to bring it up more subtly. Jensen's face creases in confused amusement, crossing his arms as he waits for Jared to explain.
“Can I at least get a coffee first? I haven't had breakfast,” Jared says weakly, feeling a little woozy from all the fight-or-flight response that's coursing through him.
“Sure, man, what can I get you? I'm about to go on break, so we can go somewhere quieter to talk,” Jensen offers with a gentle smile as he produces a small, lined notepad, ready to take Jared's order.
“I'll have a espresso and he'll have a double, on account of the size,” Mindy interjects, shooting Jared a glance that clearly states, 'don't fuck this up'.
“Yeah, what she said,” Jared echoes, his voice sounding distant even to his own ears. Jensen chuckles and then heads back behind the bar.
The second he's out of earshot, Jared closes in on Mindy. “Why didn't you tell me you knew him?” he hisses, finger pointing accusingly at her chest.
“I had no idea it was the same Jensen that serves me coffee every morning! And quit pointing, it's rude. Not my fault you're pining over the guy, though I really can't blame you, he's one hot piece of--”
“I'm not pining over him!”
“Denial is not just a river in Egypt, monkey brains! Shut up, he's coming back!” Both of them straighten as Jensen comes back with three tiny cups of coffee.
“Three espressos, just the way you like 'em, Mindy,” Jensen states, jerking his chin in the direction of an empty table as Mindy swipes her cup from him, skipping off the the furthest corner of the shop as possible. Jared follows Jensen despite his mind screaming at him to follow Mindy instead. The other man sits and stretches, yawning before he settles in his chair, a smile crossing his face despite the bomb Mindy had just dropped.
“Jared, right? I'm Jensen. Sorry about Mindy, she gets a little...weird when she hasn't had her coffee,” he explains with a smile, Jared instantly put at ease by Jensen's easygoing manner.
“She just...” Jared points, confused as he knows damn well she's just had her coffee
“The right coffee,” Jensen laughs, seeming to know exactly how Mindy's morning routine goes. “So, you have something of mine?” The question is asked softly, not accusingly in the slightest, Jensen merely curious about what Jared could possibly have that belongs to him.
Jared bites his lip a moment before tugging his ruck sack into his lap and flipping up the top. With a look up at Jensen, Jared takes a deep breath and pulls out the journal. Jensen's face softens and he looks as though he's been reunited with an old friend. Even his bottom lip begins to tremble before he scrubs a hand over his face, composing himself.
“Where did you find this?” he asks, his voice soft and almost cracking, Jensen's green eyes a touch lighter in the early afternoon sun.
“It blew into my house back in Amarillo,” Jared replies with a small shrug, his own face tensing at the memory of finding the book after finding his family.
Jared isn't prepared for the tight hug he's suddenly given by the man across from him, not even the little table getting in the way of the show of gratitude. Arms pinned at his sides, Jared can only lift a hand to pat Jensen's back, knowing better than to speak in case he ruins the moment. When Jensen sits back down, the freckled skin under his eyes is wet and he laughs a little embarrassed chuckle before wiping his eyes and taking a deep huff of breath.
“I thought it was gone forever. I must have dropped it last time I was home, and by the time I realized it was missing, I was already on a plane back here,” he explained, slipping the elastic off the notebook and taking a quick peek through the familiar pages.
“Did you read it?” Jensen asks after a minute, his own expression hard to make out.
“I...followed it, actually. Took the same trip you did when you wrote it. I've been going through a rough patch in my own life and when I accidentally looked at the first page, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to start fresh. So I packed a bag, got into my car and just...went,” Jared explains, still having a hard time reading Jensen's face despite the smile that crosses it from ear to ear.
“It's a good trip, right? Did you like the music?”
“It was...perfect,” Jared answers, nodding to both questions as he pulls out his own completed book, setting it on the table in front of him. Jensen's face lights up, a knowing smile coloring his features.
“You wrote one, too? May I?”
“It's only fair,” Jared grins, passing over the nearly-identical notebook, Jensen picking it up and setting it over his own before opening to the first page. He skims, laughing at some of the pictures and smiling fondly at a few of the descriptions, Jensen nodding his head in general agreement.
“This is great. Do you mind it I actually take a night or two to read it? Then we can meet up to swap them back?” Jensen looks so excited about the prospect that no matter how personal the entries, Jared can't bring himself to say no. So, with a nod, he concedes, Jared pulling out his phone so they can swap numbers. They sit and talk for a little while longer, about Wendell and his crazy knife, about the hike and the view from the top, about grape-stomping and the Nationals game. They laugh and agree enthusiastically with the other's opinions of things and by the time they're through, it's long ceased to be day.
“Thank you again, for bringing it back to me, and in such great condition,” Jensen remarks as they stand outside the now-quieter street, both notebooks clutched safely against his chest, his hand patting the back cover of Jared's as Jensen gives him another smile
“You're welcome. In a way, finding you helped me find myself, so for that, I have you to thank,” Jared replies honestly, one hand extended for a shake. Jensen's smile widens and he shakes Jared's hand before pulling him in for the ubiquitous bro hug, the two slapping each other firmly on the back.
“I'll keep it safe, I promise,” Jensen adds, holding up Jared's notebook and waving it a bit.
“If he doesn't, he's getting his ass beat by me,” Mindy suddenly pipes up, her flats clicking on the sidewalk as she rounds the corner. Once Jared and Jensen had gotten into their conversation, Jared had noticed her slip out of the cafe with a wink and a wave, mouthing that she had to go to work. Jared had nodded and let her go quickly, too caught up in the subject with Jensen to need her physical presence as support any longer.
“Hey, where are you staying, by the way?” Jensen asks turning back after he'd begun to walk away, his chin jerking up along with the question.
“The Grand Union--” Jared begins to answer but Mindy cuts him off.
“Not anymore you're not. You're coming home with me,”
“Mindy, I'm fairly certain we've had this discussion,” Jared shoots her the evil eye, not wanting to have to come right out and say it in front of Jensen, thinking that Mindy, in her coffee haze, must have forgotten he's gay.
“I don't want you for your cock, Godzilla. I have a dildo for that. I want you for movie night and so that you don't have to be haunted by the ghost of JP Morgan while you try and sleep.” Jensen snorts and Jared can only look at her, mystified that she's even a real human, as she rattles on about tax accountants and typewriters being thrown from windows.
“I think what Mindy's trying to say is that she needs a roommate.”
“But I--”
“You drove your own car here, not a rental, right?” Mindy interjects, looking up at him with her hand on her hips. Jared nods.
“You packed light, correct?” Another nod.
“You don't have plane tickets back, or any plans of selling your vehicle for fare?” A shake of his head and Jared realizes what she's getting at. He smiles, feeling a warmth spread over his heart at just how easily he's been accepted by the two newest people in his life.
“So long as I'm living here, I might as well bunk up with the coolest chick on the block,” Jared states, both Mindy and Jensen smiling brightly at him in agreement.
Jared does however, spend one more night at the Union, only because he's missed checkout by a long-shot. Sleep comes easy and Jared dreams differently. The dream isn't about Chad and the kids, isn't filled with whirling gusts of wind and sad faces. It isn't even filled with memories. Instead, all he sees are green eyes, plush lips, long lashes, and a smile that belongs on the silver screen, inducing fainting whenever it's shown. He wakes with a hard-on the size of his former home state and more guilt than he knows what to do with. Scrambling into the shower, Jared sets it to the coldest it will go, his body shivering as it goes back to a more appropriate state. Angered at himself for even thinking that way, Jared slams his fist into the tile, murmuring an apology to whomever might be listening. When he gets out, he hears the knock on the door and opens it to find Mindy standing there, looking wholly unimpressed. Her face is a contradiction to the feminine, almost gumball-sweet, dress she's wearing. It reminds him of Lucy from Peanuts.
“You were jerking off to my best friend. I'm going to slash your throat in your sleep.” Jared thankfully doesn't miss the deadpan in her face and tone, able to keep from getting defensive, and letting her in as he sets about packing up and getting dressed. She sits on the bed and watches, munching on a granola bar and flicking on the TV. Some minister is preaching about sin and sodomy and Mindy laughs so hard she chokes on the bar.
“It's a sign, Padalecki,” she giggles, turning off the TV before the man can continue further.
“A sign for what?” He grins back, shaking his head at the old coot.
“That you are meant to be here. You've got preachers up in arms, boy!” Jared just ruffles her hair and leads the way out of the room, glad to be done with hotels for the time being.
Mindy's apartment thankfully has parking and the rest of the day is spent scouring the nearby stores for an affordable mattress. She claims there's no need for a frame, but Jared doesn't particularly care for sleeping on the floor, so in the end they settle for a sleek, black, Swedish-looking number and a king-sized mattress that costs him all of 200 bucks. The penthouse apartment overlooks one of hipper neighborhoods in the city and, as they haul his bed in, Jared wonders how she can afford it on a single salary.
“Mindy, what exactly do you do for a living?”
“I work at a head shop during the day and play with my band at night. Oh, and before you ask, mom and dad are eccentric hippie millionaires. They pay me to look after the apartment here while they live in an adobe in Nevada. Burning Man takes up a lot of their time.” Jared decides not to press the issue any further, a little afraid of what he might find out.
Mindy insists that since he's going to be living with her that he should create at least one piece of art to hang on the expansive walls of the apartment, most of which are already either painted on directly or proudly displaying some mixture of graffiti, fine art, and mental breakdowns.
“I can't really do art. I mean, I can draw stick figures, but that's about it,” Jared tries, but Mindy's not having it.
“Fine, I'm calling Jen and you, he, and I are going to have a Jackson Pollock night tonight.” It's as though Mindy's threatening to call his father and Jared can't help but laugh as he unfolds the last of his clothes into the closet.
Mindy's not kidding. Come dinner, Jensen and what seems like a million other people, are all packed into the apartment, everyone having a great time. Jared keeps his room locked, if only to keep some random drunk reveler from going through his family's things. Even Mindy hadn't seen him bring in the remnants of his past life.
“No, but you can't be scared, 'cause if you're scared, you will fuck it up,” Jensen tutors standing next to Jared, a huge white canvas in front of them. He's traded the sweater and newsboy for a charcoal v-neck t-shirt, a couple necklaces with their pendants hidden by the material, and jeans splattered with paint; it's Boho chic the likes of which Jared only thought existed in GQ or Nylon Guy. Jensen's barefoot like most of the guests and with a beer in one hand, he uses the other to dip a rather large brush in a sunny peach color, passing the brush to Jared when he's finished.
“Close your eyes and throw it,” Jensen instructs Jared, mimicking the action with his empty hand.
“You guys are all nuts!” Jared laughs, taking a big swig of his beer before doing as asked and lobbing the brush at the canvas. A wave of cheers goes around before everyone around them follows Jared's example and throws their own brushes at the canvas, filling it quicker than any one person could.
“Congratulations, you just made your first piece of art, Padalecki.” Mindy grins, looking as happy as can be as she smears a dot of paint on his nose, much to everyone's amusement. Jared wipes it off with his forearm, grinning back at her, truly having the time of his life. All of Mindy and Jensen's friends have accepted him with open arms and Jared can't recall a time when he felt so involved.
As he looks around, a shock of blond hair catches his eye. In an instant, Jared's jaw drops, his beer hitting the floor as it slips out of his grip.
It's Chad.
Desperation fills him as he starts pushing through the crowd of people, oblivious to everything except the man who he held, lifeless, in his arms after the tornado. Jared's so intent on reaching the man, that he doesn't realize Jensen is following at a close distance, worry and confusion etched across the planes of his face.
Jared reaches the man and grabs his shoulder, making him turn around. His breath hitches in his throat and the tears fog his eyes almost instantly as the guy faces him, a perplexed look easily visible in his green eyes.
“Hey, buddy, bar's that way,” he says before turning once again and making his way towards the bathroom, leaving Jared standing there, sobs choking every breath as the tears threaten to spill down his cheeks. It's not Chad, just a guy who looks like him. His nose is different and his hair doesn't stick up the same way, but he's close enough to pass for a doppelganger and Jared feels his heart shatter all over again as the last shard of hope leaves him.
“Jay, you all right, man?” Jensen's voice sounds from behind him, but Jared doesn't move, too stunned and grieved to do much of anything.
“Come on, let's go somewhere a little quieter for a second,” he adds, his hand sliding warmly over Jared's back as Jensen leads them to the locked bedroom.
Jared manages to unlock the door before making a bee line for the bed and collapsing into it. Jensen's there in a heartbeat, concern marring every beautiful feature and Jared can't help but feel a little guilty for putting the look there.
“It wasn't Chad,” he mumbles helplessly, his face wet at he looks up at Jensen as though he's holding the only life preserver on a sinking ship.
“Okay, who was Chad, Jay? I read the name in the journal, but you only talk about him once or twice,” Jensen tries, his hand rubbing comfortingly over Jared's arm, his new friend's sole focus on him.
“Ch-Chad was my husband,” Jared stutters, sniffling as he slowly sits up and pulls the picture out of its secret place in his nigh stand. He hands it to Jensen, the paper weathered and torn in a few corners, but still making it easy to see who's who. Jensen takes in the picture silently, studying it before giving Jared a sympathetic smile.
“Divorce?”
“Tornado. Him and the kids,” Jared chokes out, somehow managing to give Jensen a smile. His friend doesn't return it, his face molding into a visage of pain and knowing.
“I'm so sorry,” Jensen whispers, one strong hand coming up to wipe away the tears that Jared missed. The touch soothes Jared and he can't help but close his eyes and lean into it, suddenly weary.
“And the guy out there, Mike, looks just like him. Jesus, Jay, if I had known, I wouldn't have invited him. I'm so sorry. So, so sorry.” There's genuine remorse in Jensen's voice and it makes Jared feel bad. Just because he's crazy enough to think his husband's come back from the dead, doesn't mean Jensen has to go around selectively inviting his friends.
“No, no, it's okay. Just threw me for a loop, that's all.” He shook his head, his breathing slowly returning to normal with the help of Jensen's warm touch.
“I was coming back from a business trip and it ran right through town. I found the three of them still inside the house, all crouched up in the bathtub. The looked like they were asleep, but...” Jared offers as much as he can, feeling like he should divulge at least some of his past, given all that he'd read about Jensen's.
Jensen says nothing, merely nods and pulls him into a hug which Jared gladly accepts. They stay locked longer than normal, both simply breathing each other in, the unspoken connection between them needing no explanation. Jared makes a quiet little noise as he feels a tender kiss fall on his temple, Jensen pulling away slowly afterward.
“We've been through a lot, huh?” Jensen states with a grin, his own green eyes a little wet as he slides his hands down Jared's arms, entwining their fingers before giving both his hands a squeeze.
“Yeah, we have. Thanks for making the road map for me to follow,” Jared replies, looking down at Jensen's hands and finding, to his surprise, that the tattoos he'd seen peeks of the day before are actually full sleeves.
“Wow, I didn't realize you had so many tattoos,” Jared laughs, feeling a little silly for not having noticed sooner. The work is beautiful and probably cost a fortune, but it looks good on Jensen and the smile he gets for bringing up the subject is well worth the embarrassment of having failed to notice when Jensen first walked through the door.
“Yeah, they kinda just show up every year. I'm gonna start running out of room soon.” They both share a laugh, eyes locked as they sober. Jared knows what's coming, knows that it'll be good, but still can't help but be a little scared as Jensen leans in.
Their lips meet and the world falls away, leaving only the sounds of heartbeats and the sensation of Jensen's eyelashes brushing against Jared's cheeks. Panic pulls at his heart and with a shaky breath, Jared pulls away as though Jensen's on fire.
“I'm sorry, I can't. It's only been a few weeks, and-”
“I understand, I do. Believe me, after Josh died, I didn't want to even look at anyone for months. No sweat, Jared, honest.”
A frown creases his features, Jared embarrassed at his own reaction. Despite Jensen's assertion that it's not a big deal, Jared can't help but feel as though he's letting the other man down. He doesn't have much more time to think on it however, as the door swing open and Mindy steps in, a grin brightening her paint spattered face two plastic drink cups in each hand.
“Hey assholes, it's time to break the wine glass! Let's go!”
“Mindy, you're not Jewish,” Jensen states plainly, standing up and grabbing his own half-empty beer, his demeanor as calm as it was.
“No, but Yusuf said we could break it over his head, so let's fucking go already!” Her own empty plastic cup goes flying in their direction, both Jensen and Jared ducking just in time to narrowly avoid getting hit.
“Let's go.” Jared grins sheepishly, more grateful for Mindy's intrusion than she'd ever know.
The next few weeks are spent looking for a job. Despite the economy, there are plenty of places with for hire signs in their windows, and after fixing his resume, Jared goes on the hunt. He'd given his two weeks at Tyson after landing in New York, knowing he could never go back to Amarillo and live in any sort of peace; not with how many memories the town held. No, he had to venture forward, dip his feet in the unknown and take more risks, just as Chad had always told him to do.
The first set of job interviews come through Mindy's connections and very quickly, Jared realizes his roommate is a little whacked. First stop is the head shop where she works, but when it becomes apparent that Jared doesn't know Mango from Jack Hair, he gets ushered out the door much to Mindy's embarrassment. The next stop is a sex shop and, while he likes his jerk-off sessions as much as the next guy, Jared turns on his heel and practically runs when he spots a dildo the size of his forearm in the front window. Spot number three is some new-age bookstore where Jared gets his aura read and immediately gets kicked out for being the devil.
Jensen's connections seem better, but they turn out to be just as much of a disaster as Mindy's. The art store nearly fines him when he breaks a frame, the tattoo parlor laughs him out with his one tattoo, and the skate shop tests him by having him do an Olly and Jared sprains his ankle.
“That's it, I'm done, I'm going to be your mooching friend forever, got it? Ow, fucker!”
“Such a dirty mouth,” Jensen grins, continuing the gentle massage of Jared's swollen ankle, the ice pack ready to go on after.
“Did you try that one place I told you about?” Mindy calls from the kitchen, bringing out their dinner on a silver platter. Chinese cartons fill the tray, chopsticks sticking out of everyone's favorite dish.
“Yes, and they called me Sheitan, whatever the hell that means,” Jared mutters as he grabs his sweet and sour pork with fried rice, taking a big mouthful and chewing thoughtfully.
“You could always work at a gym, Jay. With all that definition,” Jensen suggests, gingerly laying the ice pack on Jared's ankle before grabbing his General Tsao's Chicken carton and digging in hungrily.
“And have grown men play find the penis with me in the showers? No thanks, I'll pass.” They all share a laugh, the three of them having walked by the local gym and gawked at the body builders for a good five minutes before being able to move on.
“What about a pet store? You said you liked animals, right? Or was that Yusuf?” Mindy asks, digging in to her veggie fried rice, her big blue eyes open wide as though she's having a revelation.
“No, couldn't have been Yusuf, he has cats,” Jensen interjects, waving his chopstick in the air to emphasize his words.
“No, it was me. Is there a pet store close by?”
“Yeah, the Dog's Bone,” Jensen offers helpfully, pointing out the window to a multicolored building just across the street. Jared gazes out at the store, noticing how every dog that comes out looks well-groomed, well-fed and, most importantly, happy.
Jared's nerves are understandably stretched taught as he walks into the store the next day, resume in hand. The woman at the counter looks up and smiles warmly at him. She's in her mid fifties and has the reddest hair Jared's ever seen on someone over twenty.
“Can I help you, sweetheart?” The moment she speaks, Jared's instantly reminded of his mother and he can't stop from smiling back at her as he approaches the counter.
“I'm looking for a job. Just moved to the city on a whim and need to start bringing in some income before my new roommate has my head. Here's my resume. I don't do drugs, drink very rarely, and I'm always on time.” Everything is said in one rushed breath, Jared now terrified of rejection.
The woman, whose name tag reads Donna, simply chuckles, taking the piece of paper and giving it a quick read over. Her eyebrows go up as she reads about Tyson.
“So you want to go from killing animals to caring for them? Noble.”
“Something like that. Look, I know I don't have any experience, but I love dogs, have always had one up until recently because my daughter was allergic--”
“Was?”
“She's passed away,” Jared says quietly, his shoes suddenly very interesting. The woman gasps and instantly moves around the counter, looking very much like she's going to hug Jared and just as he had with Jensen, he accepts the action with a soft laugh.
“And they say people in Texas are friendly. They've got nothing on New York.”
“You're hired,” Donna says after a few moments, giving his arms a squeeze as she looks up at him intently.
“Just like that?” Jared chokes out, one eyebrow raised, a little shocked that it was a matter of walking across the street to find a job.
“You look good on paper, you're obviously very honest, you're not a pothead, and you like animals. Anything else, I can teach you,” Donna replies with a shrug, reaching behind the counter and handing him an apron.
“When can you start?”
chapter six