Schmoop Bingo - Blackout
Title: If I Lay Here
Author: Redsirenfiction
Fandom: CWRPS (J2)
Schmoop: Blackout
Prompt: Cuddling while sick.
Medium: Fic
Rating: PG-13.
Warnings: Will rot your teeth. mpreg. Mentions of past stillbirth. Talk of unassisted home birth.
Disclaimer: Don't own them. This is all a mirage.
Summary: If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world? |SOUNDTRACK| | INSPIRATION PAGE|
Notes: I know birth is a hot topic, but I felt that the option they choose here makes sense for a couple that's had nothing but bad experiences with hospitals.
Word Count: 1581
He's never eating at that place again. Or, at least he's never eating live Octopus again, Chris' dare be damned. He should have listened to his husband.
Kum Den must have terrible food all around though because as he rolls off the bed, he can hear the distinct sound of Jared retching in their bathroom.
Knocking once, he comes in after and pads over to rub his husband's back. Jared looks more green than he feels and as his hand rubs gently at Jared's neck, his other hand wets a washcloth under cool water.
“What did you eat last night?” He asks, placing the cold cloth against the back of Jared's neck and holding it in place as he stands slowly on shaky legs.
“Sweet and Sour Chicken.” Jared groans, moving to the sink to brush his teeth, a small frown creasing his features.
“I think we have food-” Jensen's body revolts before he can finish and as the water swirls in the bowl, he takes Jared's place and gets rid of everything he at the night before.
He starts to feel better almost immediately, which shoots a hole in his theory as Jared still looks like the witch from Oz while the color is already returning to his face.
“You sure that's all you ate, babe?” He asks, spitting into the cyclonic water one last time before standing back up.
“I'm sure.” Jared answers, brushing past Jensen to head back into their room.
Jensen watches him crawl back into bed, reach one long arm for the trashcan and once it's close enough, bury himself under their many pillows like Winnie the Pooh crawling into his tree. It's both adorable and worrying at once because Jared,
a) Never gets sick.
and
b) Never lets it stop him from doing normal Jared-esque stuff around the house.
Brushing his own teeth and gargling with burning mouthwash just to kill whatever it is that might have come up from his stomach, Jensen follows his husband's lead, pausing only to pop two Pepto pills before laying down and lazily tugging Jared flush to his chest.
As has been the ritual since the night of Jared's birthday, Jensen's hand automatically falls to Jared's abs, stroking lovingly over the still-flat surface, his lips pressing reverently over his husband's cheek.
With Jared in his current state, it's hard not to let hope seep in, let the possibility grown in his mind. Jensen doesn't voice his thoughts however, too aware that they've gone down this road twice before, only to crash and burn both times. Instead, he just holds Jared close, whispering soothing words meant to distract as he showers him with affection.
Despite Jensen's intentions to keep quiet on the subject, Jared has other plans.
“What do you think our kids will be like, now that we know you've got super sperm?” Jared chuckles out, turning a bit so that while Jensen is on his side Jared is more on his back, leaned up against him.
“They'll be happy. That's more important to me than anything else.”
Jared kisses him for that answer, his smile growing despite his nausea.
“Do you think we'll have boys or girls?”
“I'm hoping for at least one of each...”
“Which hospital are we going to use next time?”
Jensen stiffens so quickly that Jared actually sits up, confused and a little shocked by the reaction.
“What?” He asks, one hand already reaching for the trashcan, Jensen waving it away quickly, indicating that's not why he got so uptight all of a sudden.
“I'm gonna sound like an asshole here, but...I don't want you going back to a hospital to have our children.” Jensen says with a look that clearly tells Jared that he's not joking.
“What are you not telling me?” Jared asks, already having a feeling as to where Jensen is going with his words. He's already committed the autopsy to memory, but clearly, he's missed something.
“Cause of death was still-birth due to foetal distress while in labor, correct?” Jared nods at Jensen's question, remembering the line vividly in the report.
“How much of your own labor do you remember?”
“Remember you bringing in the baby after she...”
“Exactly. Wanna know why that's the only thing you remember? Because you and the baby both had a reaction to the drugs they gave you. They only checked you for physical, visible, signs of reaction, not neurological ones, because you were still coherent enough for them to get a yes or a no out of.
So when you, high out of your tree, asked for more epidural because the Pitocin was making you cramp up? They gave it to you.
“The back and forth between the epidural and the Pitocin they gave you to speed up the labor basically killed our daughter. The hospital knew she was in distress, but because they have a procedure they have to follow, the just kept pumping you full of drugs and we were both too naive about it to say 'Stop'.”
Jared clutches Jensen's shaking hand in his as he speaks, horrified with the revelation and his husband's rightful anger. Jaw set, Jensen takes a deep breath before continuing.
“It took two days for you to be back to normal, Jay. Two fuckin' days. So, I'm sorry if I'm being short about it, but we've got to do it differently this time, because I'm not risking your life on some doctor's BS call again.”
Before Jensen can even look up, Jared's got him wrapped up tightly in his arms, one hand on the back of his head, the other rubbing his back in quick short strokes.
“I never realized...why didn't you tell me?” He asks softly, feeling Jensen shudder beneath him.
“Because you were already hurting too much.” Jensen mumbles, finally looking up a bit, a sad smile on his face. “Because I vowed to protect you at all costs and I had failed so miserably that day that I felt like I had to keep it to myself in case...” He looks down again, shaking his head.
“In case I left? Sued you? Sent Pennywise after you? Jen, I don't know how many times I've gotta say it, babe. I. Love. You. I'm never leaving your stubborn ass, especially over something that wasn't your fault in the slightest.” Jared reasons and the words alone calm Jensen beyond reason.
“So how do you wanna do it this time?” He asks, sounding just a touch exhausted, Jensen laying back down and bringing Jared with as his head starts spinning just a little bit. Damn Octopus.
“I was thinking we hire a midwife, but only for pre-natal. I want us to have full control this time. If...if it happens again, then we've know we did everything we could to try and deliver the baby safely and without drugs. I want you to be the first to hold our baby, Jen.” Jared's voice gets more and more choked with each word, his smile growing right along with them.
“Are you absolutely sure?” Jensen asks, knowing they're about to give themselves a metric ton of homework if Jared ends up pregnant again.
“Yes. I can't...I can't put you through what happened at the hospital again. Even if I was getting the best cat naps of my life on that stuff.”
“You were unconscious, ass-butt.” Jensen smirks, pressing a kiss into Jared's hair and giving him a gentle, fond squeeze, now more aware of his husband's stomach than ever.
“That's Misha's word. Word stealer.” Jared grins, leaning his head back and sighing with something akin to happiness. “I want you to be able to boast that you helped deliver your first born, at home, on purpose and that we succeeded where doctors failed us.” He full-on beams when he feels the reaction he was hoping his words would have; Jensen's chest puffs out a little in pride and Jared can tell that his husband's pretty much sold on the idea.
“I take it you've been researching this stuff already?” He asks, nuzzling Jared's cheek with his own, Jensen's eyes falling down to their wedding bands, fingers entwined loosely over Jared's abs.
“Yeah, pretty much every morning since we started trying again.” Jared confesses, looking a little sheepish, but more mischievous than anything else.
“I have one condition.” Jensen finally states after several moments of nothing but the soft sound of skin brushing against skin in soft caresses and kisses.
“Shoot.”
“You don't break my fingers because then I can't catch our baby.”
“Deal.”
Jared can practically feels the weight slide off his shoulders as he starts to let himself daydream of what their delivery will be like this time around. It doesn't last long however, as the urge to puke up more dinner consumes him and he's lunging for the trashcan. It's no surprise he shoots Jensen the bird when his husband starts chuckling with excitement.
“I think you're pregnant, babe.”
“You're never touching me again.” Jared finally answers once his stomach dies down a bit, water guzzled and gum popped before he settles back in with Jensen, both of them sharing a smile at the joke before laughing with the renewed hope of two hearts set back on their intended paths.
Author: Redsirenfiction
Fandom: CWRPS (J2)
Schmoop: Blackout
Prompt: Cuddling while sick.
Medium: Fic
Rating: PG-13.
Warnings: Will rot your teeth. mpreg. Mentions of past stillbirth. Talk of unassisted home birth.
Disclaimer: Don't own them. This is all a mirage.
Summary: If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world? |SOUNDTRACK| | INSPIRATION PAGE|
Notes: I know birth is a hot topic, but I felt that the option they choose here makes sense for a couple that's had nothing but bad experiences with hospitals.
Word Count: 1581
He's never eating at that place again. Or, at least he's never eating live Octopus again, Chris' dare be damned. He should have listened to his husband.
Kum Den must have terrible food all around though because as he rolls off the bed, he can hear the distinct sound of Jared retching in their bathroom.
Knocking once, he comes in after and pads over to rub his husband's back. Jared looks more green than he feels and as his hand rubs gently at Jared's neck, his other hand wets a washcloth under cool water.
“What did you eat last night?” He asks, placing the cold cloth against the back of Jared's neck and holding it in place as he stands slowly on shaky legs.
“Sweet and Sour Chicken.” Jared groans, moving to the sink to brush his teeth, a small frown creasing his features.
“I think we have food-” Jensen's body revolts before he can finish and as the water swirls in the bowl, he takes Jared's place and gets rid of everything he at the night before.
He starts to feel better almost immediately, which shoots a hole in his theory as Jared still looks like the witch from Oz while the color is already returning to his face.
“You sure that's all you ate, babe?” He asks, spitting into the cyclonic water one last time before standing back up.
“I'm sure.” Jared answers, brushing past Jensen to head back into their room.
Jensen watches him crawl back into bed, reach one long arm for the trashcan and once it's close enough, bury himself under their many pillows like Winnie the Pooh crawling into his tree. It's both adorable and worrying at once because Jared,
a) Never gets sick.
and
b) Never lets it stop him from doing normal Jared-esque stuff around the house.
Brushing his own teeth and gargling with burning mouthwash just to kill whatever it is that might have come up from his stomach, Jensen follows his husband's lead, pausing only to pop two Pepto pills before laying down and lazily tugging Jared flush to his chest.
As has been the ritual since the night of Jared's birthday, Jensen's hand automatically falls to Jared's abs, stroking lovingly over the still-flat surface, his lips pressing reverently over his husband's cheek.
With Jared in his current state, it's hard not to let hope seep in, let the possibility grown in his mind. Jensen doesn't voice his thoughts however, too aware that they've gone down this road twice before, only to crash and burn both times. Instead, he just holds Jared close, whispering soothing words meant to distract as he showers him with affection.
Despite Jensen's intentions to keep quiet on the subject, Jared has other plans.
“What do you think our kids will be like, now that we know you've got super sperm?” Jared chuckles out, turning a bit so that while Jensen is on his side Jared is more on his back, leaned up against him.
“They'll be happy. That's more important to me than anything else.”
Jared kisses him for that answer, his smile growing despite his nausea.
“Do you think we'll have boys or girls?”
“I'm hoping for at least one of each...”
“Which hospital are we going to use next time?”
Jensen stiffens so quickly that Jared actually sits up, confused and a little shocked by the reaction.
“What?” He asks, one hand already reaching for the trashcan, Jensen waving it away quickly, indicating that's not why he got so uptight all of a sudden.
“I'm gonna sound like an asshole here, but...I don't want you going back to a hospital to have our children.” Jensen says with a look that clearly tells Jared that he's not joking.
“What are you not telling me?” Jared asks, already having a feeling as to where Jensen is going with his words. He's already committed the autopsy to memory, but clearly, he's missed something.
“Cause of death was still-birth due to foetal distress while in labor, correct?” Jared nods at Jensen's question, remembering the line vividly in the report.
“How much of your own labor do you remember?”
“Remember you bringing in the baby after she...”
“Exactly. Wanna know why that's the only thing you remember? Because you and the baby both had a reaction to the drugs they gave you. They only checked you for physical, visible, signs of reaction, not neurological ones, because you were still coherent enough for them to get a yes or a no out of.
So when you, high out of your tree, asked for more epidural because the Pitocin was making you cramp up? They gave it to you.
“The back and forth between the epidural and the Pitocin they gave you to speed up the labor basically killed our daughter. The hospital knew she was in distress, but because they have a procedure they have to follow, the just kept pumping you full of drugs and we were both too naive about it to say 'Stop'.”
Jared clutches Jensen's shaking hand in his as he speaks, horrified with the revelation and his husband's rightful anger. Jaw set, Jensen takes a deep breath before continuing.
“It took two days for you to be back to normal, Jay. Two fuckin' days. So, I'm sorry if I'm being short about it, but we've got to do it differently this time, because I'm not risking your life on some doctor's BS call again.”
Before Jensen can even look up, Jared's got him wrapped up tightly in his arms, one hand on the back of his head, the other rubbing his back in quick short strokes.
“I never realized...why didn't you tell me?” He asks softly, feeling Jensen shudder beneath him.
“Because you were already hurting too much.” Jensen mumbles, finally looking up a bit, a sad smile on his face. “Because I vowed to protect you at all costs and I had failed so miserably that day that I felt like I had to keep it to myself in case...” He looks down again, shaking his head.
“In case I left? Sued you? Sent Pennywise after you? Jen, I don't know how many times I've gotta say it, babe. I. Love. You. I'm never leaving your stubborn ass, especially over something that wasn't your fault in the slightest.” Jared reasons and the words alone calm Jensen beyond reason.
“So how do you wanna do it this time?” He asks, sounding just a touch exhausted, Jensen laying back down and bringing Jared with as his head starts spinning just a little bit. Damn Octopus.
“I was thinking we hire a midwife, but only for pre-natal. I want us to have full control this time. If...if it happens again, then we've know we did everything we could to try and deliver the baby safely and without drugs. I want you to be the first to hold our baby, Jen.” Jared's voice gets more and more choked with each word, his smile growing right along with them.
“Are you absolutely sure?” Jensen asks, knowing they're about to give themselves a metric ton of homework if Jared ends up pregnant again.
“Yes. I can't...I can't put you through what happened at the hospital again. Even if I was getting the best cat naps of my life on that stuff.”
“You were unconscious, ass-butt.” Jensen smirks, pressing a kiss into Jared's hair and giving him a gentle, fond squeeze, now more aware of his husband's stomach than ever.
“That's Misha's word. Word stealer.” Jared grins, leaning his head back and sighing with something akin to happiness. “I want you to be able to boast that you helped deliver your first born, at home, on purpose and that we succeeded where doctors failed us.” He full-on beams when he feels the reaction he was hoping his words would have; Jensen's chest puffs out a little in pride and Jared can tell that his husband's pretty much sold on the idea.
“I take it you've been researching this stuff already?” He asks, nuzzling Jared's cheek with his own, Jensen's eyes falling down to their wedding bands, fingers entwined loosely over Jared's abs.
“Yeah, pretty much every morning since we started trying again.” Jared confesses, looking a little sheepish, but more mischievous than anything else.
“I have one condition.” Jensen finally states after several moments of nothing but the soft sound of skin brushing against skin in soft caresses and kisses.
“Shoot.”
“You don't break my fingers because then I can't catch our baby.”
“Deal.”
Jared can practically feels the weight slide off his shoulders as he starts to let himself daydream of what their delivery will be like this time around. It doesn't last long however, as the urge to puke up more dinner consumes him and he's lunging for the trashcan. It's no surprise he shoots Jensen the bird when his husband starts chuckling with excitement.
“I think you're pregnant, babe.”
“You're never touching me again.” Jared finally answers once his stomach dies down a bit, water guzzled and gum popped before he settles back in with Jensen, both of them sharing a smile at the joke before laughing with the renewed hope of two hearts set back on their intended paths.