'In Da Garden'
My sister and I have the most hilarious text exchanges sometimes. Particularly when I’m taking a study break and she’s bored at work.
Take yesterday. I’d just texted her that we had to find a DVD of the The Secret Garden movie. She replied with…well…
(normal bolded text are mine, bolded italics are hers)
I was thinking, what if they ‘modernized’ The Secret Garden?
Huh?
Y’know, like they did to ‘Twelfth Night’ and ‘Taming of the Shrew’, with “She’s the Man” and “10 Things I Hate About You”
…I liked those. But I’d draw the line at ‘The Secret Garden’
Yeah, because I’m thinking Colin would be an emo kid
Hah. He’d be locked up in his room, wishing he were dead
And not because he thinks he’s sick. Because he thinks death is kewl.
Instead of reading about gardens, he’d write depressing poems about being buried in gardens…
While listening to My Chemical Romance and Linkin Park.
Mary would come to him one night, because she “heard Gerard Way crying”
‘Modern’ Mary would be whiny and bitch about the moor like Bella from Twilight bitches about Forks.
HEE HEE.
And they’d paint their fingernails and who-knows-what-else together and have tantrums over who looks better in eyeliner.
Instead of following a robin to the garden, Mary would follow a roach or a sewer rat.
Yuck.
How about Dickon? I’m thinking he would be like Troy from High School Musical
No, no, he’d be this poor but bright-eyed optimistic kid…what’s a modern version of that?
He’d be like those clichéd “poor-but-spirited black kid from Queens who finds solace in da music” from those dance movies.
Yes, yes!
And instead of teaching Mary and Colin Yorkshire, he’d teach them street slang
‘Jump’ and ‘Soot’, and ‘Nut’, and ‘Shell’ would be dogs and cats he rescued from animal shelters
Nah, Nut and Shell would be stray squirrels from Central Park
And instead of gardens and stretching exercises, Dickon would introduce Mary and Colin to hip-hop dancing
And they’d all dance to a hit single called… “In Da Garden”
That’s as far as we got. I’m still laughing so hard, thinking about Mary, Colin and Dickon hip-hop dancing.
You know what’s weird? They did make a modern version of ‘A Little Princess’. An anime mecha where Sara, Ermengarde, Lottie, Jesse, Lavinia, Martha, and Dickon are members of a Space Squadron. Yup. Look it up, it's called Soukou no Strain
Take yesterday. I’d just texted her that we had to find a DVD of the The Secret Garden movie. She replied with…well…
(normal bolded text are mine, bolded italics are hers)
I was thinking, what if they ‘modernized’ The Secret Garden?
Huh?
Y’know, like they did to ‘Twelfth Night’ and ‘Taming of the Shrew’, with “She’s the Man” and “10 Things I Hate About You”
…I liked those. But I’d draw the line at ‘The Secret Garden’
Yeah, because I’m thinking Colin would be an emo kid
Hah. He’d be locked up in his room, wishing he were dead
And not because he thinks he’s sick. Because he thinks death is kewl.
Instead of reading about gardens, he’d write depressing poems about being buried in gardens…
While listening to My Chemical Romance and Linkin Park.
Mary would come to him one night, because she “heard Gerard Way crying”
‘Modern’ Mary would be whiny and bitch about the moor like Bella from Twilight bitches about Forks.
HEE HEE.
And they’d paint their fingernails and who-knows-what-else together and have tantrums over who looks better in eyeliner.
Instead of following a robin to the garden, Mary would follow a roach or a sewer rat.
Yuck.
How about Dickon? I’m thinking he would be like Troy from High School Musical
No, no, he’d be this poor but bright-eyed optimistic kid…what’s a modern version of that?
He’d be like those clichéd “poor-but-spirited black kid from Queens who finds solace in da music” from those dance movies.
Yes, yes!
And instead of teaching Mary and Colin Yorkshire, he’d teach them street slang
‘Jump’ and ‘Soot’, and ‘Nut’, and ‘Shell’ would be dogs and cats he rescued from animal shelters
Nah, Nut and Shell would be stray squirrels from Central Park
And instead of gardens and stretching exercises, Dickon would introduce Mary and Colin to hip-hop dancing
And they’d all dance to a hit single called… “In Da Garden”
That’s as far as we got. I’m still laughing so hard, thinking about Mary, Colin and Dickon hip-hop dancing.
You know what’s weird? They did make a modern version of ‘A Little Princess’. An anime mecha where Sara, Ermengarde, Lottie, Jesse, Lavinia, Martha, and Dickon are members of a Space Squadron. Yup. Look it up, it's called Soukou no Strain