(no subject)
oddly enough, i havent utilized this outlet since september. thats... over 5 months. i feel like i use it when i have a random thought of how to make things fantastic. something life changing. something worthy of posting on the internet.
last time i had just returned from europe. bright eyed, hopeful and ready to conquer. 5 months later i havent caught it yet. i havent felt success. i havent felt like an adult. i havent paid a damn bill. and im ready.
its like, LA is an abusive boyfriend i cant leave. i want to, so bad. but i just stay and let it continue to beat me relentlessly. i love it, so much. and dont get me wrong, theres so many good things here. so many. and i love a lot of people. and a lot of things. but ive gotten to this point where i expect so much out of my abusive love partner, and it gives me so little and i just cant tolerate the inconsistency between my give and its take anymore.
so yesterday, i got this fortune in a cookie. "you may have a new opportunity soon".. and then following that, because im greedy and love fortunes, i got one that said "you will soon be confronted with unlimited opportunities." WEIRD right? i picked the two cookies in that whole pile that would read me exactly the future id been needing.
so today whilst talking to dorit and helen about dorits big move to the east coast she says "i mean, i have no car, i have no job, i have no place to live... why not?" which made me think... ive just got a car. and a damn fine car at that. so. the solution, sell my car. move east.
im putting it out there. because i think it works. and i want it to. because im ready to get the fuck out of dodge.
and this time, i cant let my family stop me. as beautiful as they are, and as quickly as they are expanding, its time for me to take risks. for me to make leaps. for me to take a fucking chance.
and on that note ill end this with saying, theres too much abuse here, for me to carry this out any further.
i love you LA. now let me fucking leave you.
last time i had just returned from europe. bright eyed, hopeful and ready to conquer. 5 months later i havent caught it yet. i havent felt success. i havent felt like an adult. i havent paid a damn bill. and im ready.
its like, LA is an abusive boyfriend i cant leave. i want to, so bad. but i just stay and let it continue to beat me relentlessly. i love it, so much. and dont get me wrong, theres so many good things here. so many. and i love a lot of people. and a lot of things. but ive gotten to this point where i expect so much out of my abusive love partner, and it gives me so little and i just cant tolerate the inconsistency between my give and its take anymore.
so yesterday, i got this fortune in a cookie. "you may have a new opportunity soon".. and then following that, because im greedy and love fortunes, i got one that said "you will soon be confronted with unlimited opportunities." WEIRD right? i picked the two cookies in that whole pile that would read me exactly the future id been needing.
so today whilst talking to dorit and helen about dorits big move to the east coast she says "i mean, i have no car, i have no job, i have no place to live... why not?" which made me think... ive just got a car. and a damn fine car at that. so. the solution, sell my car. move east.
im putting it out there. because i think it works. and i want it to. because im ready to get the fuck out of dodge.
and this time, i cant let my family stop me. as beautiful as they are, and as quickly as they are expanding, its time for me to take risks. for me to make leaps. for me to take a fucking chance.
and on that note ill end this with saying, theres too much abuse here, for me to carry this out any further.
i love you LA. now let me fucking leave you.