Teenage Wasteland mixed tape 2
Teenage Wasteland: Lonely Ghosts
Because writing is hard and I am looking for any excuse not to do it (Seriously. I organized my closet earlier today) I am posting my second mixed tape. Woo? I know I am the only one who cares about these sorts of things, but my weird music has really shaped scenes in very real ways, and I feel like talking about it, darn it!
By the by, the tape for A Declaration of Incompetence is here.
1. Lonely Ghosts by O+S
“The places, our old haunts
Will miss us when we’re gone:
We can never move on.
So like lonely ghosts
At a roadside cross
We stay because we don’t know where else to go.”
These few lines inspired the entire mood of the story-so much so that I stole the title. Ghost imagery and references were deliberately woven into the chapter, from the Natural History Museum to the pool to Coney Island. The funny thing is, Billy would say he was the ghost of the chapter (especially at the end), but the real lonely ghost of the series is Teddy. He’s haunting Billy, wanting desperately to cross over but unable to fully materialize.
The most literal application of these lyrics is near the end, when Billy and Teddy are trying to pull themselves back together post Coney Island. They’re retreading old haunts, unable to move on, even though everything has changed.
2. Fortunate Son by Creedence Clearwater Revival
“It ain’t me, it ain’t me; I ain't no millionaire's son, no.
It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, no.”
I like to push back against the idea that Teddy and his mother are anything but struggling Brooklynites. His mother arrived on Earth as a single mother, deep undercover (so she couldn’t use her powers to try to scam money very often) and without any real Earth education or understanding about human culture (she was a handmaiden). I find his mother fascinating and amazing-I’m kind of in love with her.
So I can’t buy that a Skrull handmaiden arrived on Earth and was magically comfortably well-off. Their family struggled long and hard, and the security they do have is all thanks to her incredible hard work. Billy, on the other hand, is obviously upper-middle class. Waaay upper-middle. He lives on the Upper East Side (actually, the Upper West Side-I made a mistake when I wrote the first chapter, but I’ll be correcting that in the next) in what is clearly a brownstone. His parents are high-level professionals. He never has had to think about money, ever. That class difference adds layers to who these characters are for me.
3. Dreams by The Cranberries
“I know I've felt like this before,
But now I'm feeling it even more-
Because it came from you.
Then I open up and see
The person falling here is me.
A different way to be.”
Teddy changes Billy. The way Teddy sees the world is different than the way Billy sees it. Because he comes from a different class background, because he’s an artist (which is an homage to Slanted_Edges), because he’s, well. He’s an alien. He doesn’t know it yet, of course, but his brain really does work differently. He sees things in a way other people don’t because he’s not like other people, and Billy is able to see his world anew through Teddy’s eyes. It’s a huge part of why Billy falls so hard for Teddy, and why he becomes so obsessed with figuring him out.
4. All Along the Watchtower (sung) by The Jimi Hendrix Experience
“All along the watchtower
Princes kept the view
While all the women came and went
Barefoot servants, too.
Outside in the cold distance
A wildcat did growl.
Two riders were approaching,
And the wind began to howl.”
I kind of feel like this song speaks for itself. It works for me as an introduction of Greg, and the idea of Teddy pulling away from Greg thanks to Billy. Also: my Teddy is a big fan of classic rock. Why? Probably because I love classic rock, but also because I really see protest era songs especially speaking to him on a deeper level.
5. Take Me On by A Ha
“We're talking away.
I don't know what
I'm to say: I'll say it anyway.
Today's another day to find you
Shying away-
I'll be coming for your love, OK?”
80s montage!
This song got stuck in my brain as the representation of Billy and Teddy playing cat and mouse during the museum sequences. Every time Billy thinks he’s getting somewhere, the rug gets snatched out from under his feet. (But at the same time he doesn’t realize the HUGE IMPORTANT THING he should have. Namely: these actually were dates. That will show up later!)
6. Nightswimming by REM
“Nightswimming deserves a quiet night.
I'm not sure all these people understand.
It's not like years ago,
The fear of getting caught,
Of recklessness and water.
…You, I thought I knew you.
You I cannot judge.
You, I thought you knew me,
This one laughing quietly underneath my breath.
Nightswimming.”
No lie, I listened to this song thirty times in a row while I was writing the pool scene. This song is the pool scene. I recommend listening to it while reading the scene.
7. I Want to Hold Your Hand (reprise) by The Beatles; Glee version
“Oh please say to me
You'll let me be your man,
And please say to me
You'll let me hold your hand.”
This song showed up in the previous mixed tape, but I’m using the Glee version here. I watched probably around a season of Glee, and a few of the songs still linger on my iPod. This is one I will always keep there, and it fits the story so perfectly-Billy’s quiet yearning, wanting to be with Teddy so badly.
8. Uninvited by Alanis Morissette
“Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing.
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before.
But this is not allowed.
You're uninvited-
An unfortunate slight.
I don't think you unworthy;
I need a moment to deliberate.”
God, the Coney Island scene. That scene was…not fun to write. The final half of Lonely Ghosts used to be very, very different. I hated writing them in conflict, so I kind of zoomed through it and focused on the action setpiece instead. Slanted_Edges took me to task hard. I have never had an editor slap my hand so badly. After I licked my wounds for awhile, I obviously realized she was right. I scrapped most of the 20,000 or so words (sob) and started again. And I got the Coney Island scene, which has turned into probably my favorite scene in either chapter.
The hardest part of writing in Billy’s POV is that he is getting maybe ¼ of the whole picture. There is a huge amount of baggage that Teddy is carrying around with him, and this scene gave Billy the chance to see a little bit of that. It gave him the clues he needed to figure out A) Why Teddy let Greg dominate him like he does and B) How Billy could do something about it. Unfortunately, Billy got sidetracked by Teddy saying “No” and missed the fact that Teddy was also saying “But I really want to.” He missed everything he was supposed to pick up on.
The line that attached this song to that scene was “You speak of my love like you have experienced love like mine before.” I know I play favorites horribly, but… No, Billy, you have no idea, and you’re doing it wrong.
9. Sitting, Waiting, Wishing by Jack Johnson
“Now I was sitting waiting wishing
That you believed in superstitions,
Then maybe you'd see the signs.
But Lord knows that this world is cruel,
And I ain't the Lord, no I'm just a fool,
Learning loving somebody don't make them love you.”
Rejection sucks.
10. Three-Five-Zero-Zero by Hair
“Ripped open by metal explosion;
Caught in barbed wire, fireball;
Bullet shock;
Bayonet, electricity;
Shrapnel;
Throbbing meat;
Electronic data processing;
Black uniforms, bare feet, carbines
Mail-order rifles shoot the muscles.”
I know, this is a really weird song to show up in a mixed tape, but it really fit the action sequence so well. I like the suddenness of the explosion, and the sense of disorientation. (Note: If you listen to the song, there is an objectionable term used. Keep in mind when this song was written and what they are trying to say. It isn’t there just to be shocking.)
11. Set Fire to the Rain by Adele
“'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true
And the games you'd play, you would always win, always win.”
There had to be one sad “fuck you!” Adele song, right? This is Billy pushing Teddy away, so very angry and hurt at what Teddy has kept from him. (He claims it’s because Teddy used his powers for ill, that he could have hurt people, and that’s part of it…but really he’s just so incredibly stung that Teddy shared this with Greg and not him.)
12. Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson
“The storm is coming but I don't mind.
People are dying, I close my blinds.
All that I know is I'm breathing now.”
Billy is a ghost too, now. Or maybe he’s more like a zombie. Either way, he doesn’t feel alive from the time he walks away from Teddy to the point where he faces Kesler. This song played on loop while I was writing those scenes.
13. Princes of the Universe by Queen
“Here we are, born to be kings-
We're the princes of the universe.
Here we belong, fighting to survive
In a world with the darkest powers.”
And the Young Avengers assemble!
Because writing is hard and I am looking for any excuse not to do it (Seriously. I organized my closet earlier today) I am posting my second mixed tape. Woo? I know I am the only one who cares about these sorts of things, but my weird music has really shaped scenes in very real ways, and I feel like talking about it, darn it!
By the by, the tape for A Declaration of Incompetence is here.
1. Lonely Ghosts by O+S
“The places, our old haunts
Will miss us when we’re gone:
We can never move on.
So like lonely ghosts
At a roadside cross
We stay because we don’t know where else to go.”
These few lines inspired the entire mood of the story-so much so that I stole the title. Ghost imagery and references were deliberately woven into the chapter, from the Natural History Museum to the pool to Coney Island. The funny thing is, Billy would say he was the ghost of the chapter (especially at the end), but the real lonely ghost of the series is Teddy. He’s haunting Billy, wanting desperately to cross over but unable to fully materialize.
The most literal application of these lyrics is near the end, when Billy and Teddy are trying to pull themselves back together post Coney Island. They’re retreading old haunts, unable to move on, even though everything has changed.
2. Fortunate Son by Creedence Clearwater Revival
“It ain’t me, it ain’t me; I ain't no millionaire's son, no.
It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, no.”
I like to push back against the idea that Teddy and his mother are anything but struggling Brooklynites. His mother arrived on Earth as a single mother, deep undercover (so she couldn’t use her powers to try to scam money very often) and without any real Earth education or understanding about human culture (she was a handmaiden). I find his mother fascinating and amazing-I’m kind of in love with her.
So I can’t buy that a Skrull handmaiden arrived on Earth and was magically comfortably well-off. Their family struggled long and hard, and the security they do have is all thanks to her incredible hard work. Billy, on the other hand, is obviously upper-middle class. Waaay upper-middle. He lives on the Upper East Side (actually, the Upper West Side-I made a mistake when I wrote the first chapter, but I’ll be correcting that in the next) in what is clearly a brownstone. His parents are high-level professionals. He never has had to think about money, ever. That class difference adds layers to who these characters are for me.
3. Dreams by The Cranberries
“I know I've felt like this before,
But now I'm feeling it even more-
Because it came from you.
Then I open up and see
The person falling here is me.
A different way to be.”
Teddy changes Billy. The way Teddy sees the world is different than the way Billy sees it. Because he comes from a different class background, because he’s an artist (which is an homage to Slanted_Edges), because he’s, well. He’s an alien. He doesn’t know it yet, of course, but his brain really does work differently. He sees things in a way other people don’t because he’s not like other people, and Billy is able to see his world anew through Teddy’s eyes. It’s a huge part of why Billy falls so hard for Teddy, and why he becomes so obsessed with figuring him out.
4. All Along the Watchtower (sung) by The Jimi Hendrix Experience
“All along the watchtower
Princes kept the view
While all the women came and went
Barefoot servants, too.
Outside in the cold distance
A wildcat did growl.
Two riders were approaching,
And the wind began to howl.”
I kind of feel like this song speaks for itself. It works for me as an introduction of Greg, and the idea of Teddy pulling away from Greg thanks to Billy. Also: my Teddy is a big fan of classic rock. Why? Probably because I love classic rock, but also because I really see protest era songs especially speaking to him on a deeper level.
5. Take Me On by A Ha
“We're talking away.
I don't know what
I'm to say: I'll say it anyway.
Today's another day to find you
Shying away-
I'll be coming for your love, OK?”
80s montage!
This song got stuck in my brain as the representation of Billy and Teddy playing cat and mouse during the museum sequences. Every time Billy thinks he’s getting somewhere, the rug gets snatched out from under his feet. (But at the same time he doesn’t realize the HUGE IMPORTANT THING he should have. Namely: these actually were dates. That will show up later!)
6. Nightswimming by REM
“Nightswimming deserves a quiet night.
I'm not sure all these people understand.
It's not like years ago,
The fear of getting caught,
Of recklessness and water.
…You, I thought I knew you.
You I cannot judge.
You, I thought you knew me,
This one laughing quietly underneath my breath.
Nightswimming.”
No lie, I listened to this song thirty times in a row while I was writing the pool scene. This song is the pool scene. I recommend listening to it while reading the scene.
7. I Want to Hold Your Hand (reprise) by The Beatles; Glee version
“Oh please say to me
You'll let me be your man,
And please say to me
You'll let me hold your hand.”
This song showed up in the previous mixed tape, but I’m using the Glee version here. I watched probably around a season of Glee, and a few of the songs still linger on my iPod. This is one I will always keep there, and it fits the story so perfectly-Billy’s quiet yearning, wanting to be with Teddy so badly.
8. Uninvited by Alanis Morissette
“Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing.
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before.
But this is not allowed.
You're uninvited-
An unfortunate slight.
I don't think you unworthy;
I need a moment to deliberate.”
God, the Coney Island scene. That scene was…not fun to write. The final half of Lonely Ghosts used to be very, very different. I hated writing them in conflict, so I kind of zoomed through it and focused on the action setpiece instead. Slanted_Edges took me to task hard. I have never had an editor slap my hand so badly. After I licked my wounds for awhile, I obviously realized she was right. I scrapped most of the 20,000 or so words (sob) and started again. And I got the Coney Island scene, which has turned into probably my favorite scene in either chapter.
The hardest part of writing in Billy’s POV is that he is getting maybe ¼ of the whole picture. There is a huge amount of baggage that Teddy is carrying around with him, and this scene gave Billy the chance to see a little bit of that. It gave him the clues he needed to figure out A) Why Teddy let Greg dominate him like he does and B) How Billy could do something about it. Unfortunately, Billy got sidetracked by Teddy saying “No” and missed the fact that Teddy was also saying “But I really want to.” He missed everything he was supposed to pick up on.
The line that attached this song to that scene was “You speak of my love like you have experienced love like mine before.” I know I play favorites horribly, but… No, Billy, you have no idea, and you’re doing it wrong.
9. Sitting, Waiting, Wishing by Jack Johnson
“Now I was sitting waiting wishing
That you believed in superstitions,
Then maybe you'd see the signs.
But Lord knows that this world is cruel,
And I ain't the Lord, no I'm just a fool,
Learning loving somebody don't make them love you.”
Rejection sucks.
10. Three-Five-Zero-Zero by Hair
“Ripped open by metal explosion;
Caught in barbed wire, fireball;
Bullet shock;
Bayonet, electricity;
Shrapnel;
Throbbing meat;
Electronic data processing;
Black uniforms, bare feet, carbines
Mail-order rifles shoot the muscles.”
I know, this is a really weird song to show up in a mixed tape, but it really fit the action sequence so well. I like the suddenness of the explosion, and the sense of disorientation. (Note: If you listen to the song, there is an objectionable term used. Keep in mind when this song was written and what they are trying to say. It isn’t there just to be shocking.)
11. Set Fire to the Rain by Adele
“'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true
And the games you'd play, you would always win, always win.”
There had to be one sad “fuck you!” Adele song, right? This is Billy pushing Teddy away, so very angry and hurt at what Teddy has kept from him. (He claims it’s because Teddy used his powers for ill, that he could have hurt people, and that’s part of it…but really he’s just so incredibly stung that Teddy shared this with Greg and not him.)
12. Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson
“The storm is coming but I don't mind.
People are dying, I close my blinds.
All that I know is I'm breathing now.”
Billy is a ghost too, now. Or maybe he’s more like a zombie. Either way, he doesn’t feel alive from the time he walks away from Teddy to the point where he faces Kesler. This song played on loop while I was writing those scenes.
13. Princes of the Universe by Queen
“Here we are, born to be kings-
We're the princes of the universe.
Here we belong, fighting to survive
In a world with the darkest powers.”
And the Young Avengers assemble!