When my biological grandma was alive she told me if I ever moved to Russia she would come haunt me because I was so unpatriotic.
I have never met a sweet grandma. My mom worked in nursing homes most of my life and in fact, its been my exeperience most old people are bitter and crabby.
Grandparents and parents are people too, with their own fears, prejudices and hangups, as well as positive qualities. You have to deal with them because they are family, but you dont have to take what they say to heart. Life your life the way you want. If they're mean, its their own issue, its something inside them, perhaps they were afraid to be themselves when they were young and dont want anyone else to be happy or perhaps they've been programed to think the way they do, never questioned it, and fear anyone else who does. Or maybe a combination of a lot of things, but the key is its not your problem. If your family wont support you, find friends who do!
This was my experience anyway. I spent 26 years trying to get my parents to be nice to me and be the loving, sweet, accepting people I wanted to have as parents. Still they yelled. One day I said "enough" and simply had the confidence to say, "whatever, its my life and nothing you say will affect me anymore." I have to see them as people, not parents. It didnt change them, it changed my attitude toward them. So now when my mom turns into a bitch, I just leave or hang up.
You dont have to take it! If they get mean, simply say something, "thats nice of you to say, but this is my life, not yours." (This may also make them feel bad, because they were not being nice at all.) Or even, "thanks for dinner, but we have to go now if you cant be nice." If they yell, ignore them like you would a toddler having a tantrum and pick up your things and leave. It suprising how quickly parents grow up when you do this.
When my biological grandma was alive she told me if I ever moved to Russia she would come haunt me because I was so unpatriotic.
I have never met a sweet grandma. My mom worked in nursing homes most of my life and in fact, its been my exeperience most old people are bitter and crabby.
Grandparents and parents are people too, with their own fears, prejudices and hangups, as well as positive qualities. You have to deal with them because they are family, but you dont have to take what they say to heart. Life your life the way you want. If they're mean, its their own issue, its something inside them, perhaps they were afraid to be themselves when they were young and dont want anyone else to be happy or perhaps they've been programed to think the way they do, never questioned it, and fear anyone else who does. Or maybe a combination of a lot of things, but the key is its not your problem. If your family wont support you, find friends who do!
This was my experience anyway. I spent 26 years trying to get my parents to be nice to me and be the loving, sweet, accepting people I wanted to have as parents. Still they yelled. One day I said "enough" and simply had the confidence to say, "whatever, its my life and nothing you say will affect me anymore." I have to see them as people, not parents. It didnt change them, it changed my attitude toward them. So now when my mom turns into a bitch, I just leave or hang up.
You dont have to take it! If they get mean, simply say something, "thats nice of you to say, but this is my life, not yours." (This may also make them feel bad, because they were not being nice at all.) Or even, "thanks for dinner, but we have to go now if you cant be nice." If they yell, ignore them like you would a toddler having a tantrum and pick up your things and leave. It suprising how quickly parents grow up when you do this.
:)
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