(no subject)
Ow.... ow ow owowowowowowowo ow ow OWOW ow ow ow owowowowowowowowo ow ow OWOWOW
Im in pain, and lots of it. I want to kill myself. I want to kill those pills for making me feel funny, then like shit. I want to cut out my insides so they will stop rebelling and I want to die.
And.... it's my birthday.
Im in a pissy mood, I feel and look like shit and I'm in pain and there's no other pills for me to take. If those didnt work then I have to do bc. I want to kill myself. I went for a big long walk and now I want to cry. I'm leaving behind everything I know. Everything that is normal, everything that is right. Nothing will be given there. It'll all be different. Ridge didnt even feel like my school anymore. I look at it and even the new part looks like shit. But it's what I know. How am I supposed to feel? Im going to leave everything I've ever known.
ow ow ow owowowowow ow ow OW OW OW OW OW OW OW.
sometimes you get lots of pain like that, all in a row, cept it gets more painful with every OW. then it stops. How did people survive before pain killers? I can't imagine. If I had to do this every month and there were no pills out there that could help me? I think I would kill myself. Every single month for the rest of your life. These next pills better work. This is our last chance. Otherwise... I swear to god they better get in there and rip out everything cuz I wont do this anymore.
Happy birthday to me.
Love
Maryn
Im in pain, and lots of it. I want to kill myself. I want to kill those pills for making me feel funny, then like shit. I want to cut out my insides so they will stop rebelling and I want to die.
And.... it's my birthday.
Im in a pissy mood, I feel and look like shit and I'm in pain and there's no other pills for me to take. If those didnt work then I have to do bc. I want to kill myself. I went for a big long walk and now I want to cry. I'm leaving behind everything I know. Everything that is normal, everything that is right. Nothing will be given there. It'll all be different. Ridge didnt even feel like my school anymore. I look at it and even the new part looks like shit. But it's what I know. How am I supposed to feel? Im going to leave everything I've ever known.
ow ow ow owowowowow ow ow OW OW OW OW OW OW OW.
sometimes you get lots of pain like that, all in a row, cept it gets more painful with every OW. then it stops. How did people survive before pain killers? I can't imagine. If I had to do this every month and there were no pills out there that could help me? I think I would kill myself. Every single month for the rest of your life. These next pills better work. This is our last chance. Otherwise... I swear to god they better get in there and rip out everything cuz I wont do this anymore.
Happy birthday to me.
Love
Maryn