*ICON SO APPROPRIATE FOR RINOA IN THIS STORY. (this is twilighttundra on ff.net btw)
Wow, I have owed you review for the longest time. I guess I didn't because once Laguna was introduced, I was honestly afraid he was going to take over too much of the story and steal Seifer's moments. I should have known better then to fear that with you. I know now that you are setting things up so Squall has a support system, of not only a boyfriend like Seifer, friends like Sephie, family in Raine and Ellone, but now the a father figure that the lack of was the second biggest trauma is Squall's life, aside from, well, Kato's raping addiction.
Sorry if it seems like, okay well, I am doing a mini psychoanalysis of your story. XD I do it with everything well written and plotted out I read. Yeah, so that was what as kept me from reviewing the past five or so chapters chapters. I didn't know if I was liking where it was going, and I didn't feel right asking or saying how I wanted to go. It sure as hell was not my place to do so. I'm sorry for ever doubting you, because wow, you have come through. I can see now how each one of those chapters was full of critical moments of development that not only lead up to chapter 38 but will very likely have a large impact on when and how the whole Kato problem is solved. When I think about Kato, i realize it is a very complicated situation and a complicated character to deal with. You can't just deal with a man of power by having Seifer punch him and make it all better (LOL @ at the thought!). He may be an abuser and rapist to Squall, but he's also the a father to Ellone, how good of one, we don't know yet, but he must be fatherly enough to her to not tip Raine off. And then there is the fact that he has been Raine's husband for years and managed to fool an otherwise, intelligent, strong-willed woman. The vibe that I get is that there are two sides to Kato. The complete monster we have mostly been seeing through Squall's memories and view, and the other side, how he acts while not around Squall, with family, at work, and whatever feelings he also hides behind layers and layers of protection, because if he feels guilty it can be the end of him (in some ways Squall and Kato are alike. It's scary, but true IMO) etc and his sick addiction. I'm not saying I sympathize with Kato. But I do find him highly interesting, and out of all the original characters I've come across in fanfiction for the last 15 or so years, he is the one I'd like to see developed out the most. I will go on to admit I'm a fan of him, as weird as that sounds. I enjoy the psychology of individuals who give in to a taboo, twisted, and wrong desire like he has and let it consume their lives (I'm only fans of the fictional ones, mind you ^.^;). I wonder to myself, what was the tipping point? How did he feel about his victim before hand? Does he really "hate" his victim now, or are his feeling a lot more complicated and twisted then that? Deep down is there some remorse? Some acknowledgement that he failed as a father, as a person, by giving in after Ellone's accident?
The few chapters where Kato's thoughts and feelings were told by him, as opposed to being reflected by someone else (ie Squall) were very interesting moments. The Kato before the marriage had a dark secret, but pretty much stated he had no intention of giving in too it, And he seemed like he was going to be a father to Squall. Then there was the Kato after the accident, who expresses worry over his daughter and family, but after weeks of being alone with Squall, makes the decision he can't come back from and seals his fate. If I recall, several chapters and years, story-wise, later (the rape chapter) Kato is completely consumed by his addiction and his desire for Squall. He is putting all his attention to keeping Squall just scared enough to keep for telling anyone, but not too lost to just break the fuck down. He's consumed with getting his high and then going through the motions of covering it all up, making sure his house of cards does not fall apart.
The way you wrote him, showed a change that was very dramatic, from his marriage, to the moment he gave in to sexually abusing Squall for the first time, to years after the fact, where he is now focused, manipulative, and cruel, willing to do anything to keep his secret, because there is no going back for him. I'm not sure if you even intended to do so or planned it as part of his development, but I would not be surprised if you did put a lot of thought into showing us bits of pieces of his downfall into an abuser and doomed man, which deep down he must know he is indeed doomed and living on borrowed time. I never considered Seifer and Squall having sex as the climax to this story. I always thought it would be how Kato is stopped. With such a complicated character, I can imagine him putting up the fight of his life, endangering people and all, and I can equally see him not putting up a fight at all once he knows the gig is up. I can see him even having a sense of relief, after so many years of keeping it all together on his side. Since he was not always shown as cruel and totally sociopathic, I can picture him having his breaking point just as Squall would have his own. Just To be clear, I'm not okaying a thing he has done, BUT these kinds of people do exist and they are human too, meaning they can have human reactions and will not always react like complete evil monsters. It's easy to de-humanize a character like Kato; It is difficult, to break down his sickness, separate it from his person and see him from all angles. No matter how you go about Kato's end, you have already done more then most writers do with characters like him. Most don't want to touch on a character with a problem so revolting, so they simply go with the "he's just evil" mentality and don't bother to dig deeper or explain a damn thing.
FINALLY, I can get on to chapter 38. XD Well, you wrote a good lemon, but the sex was not what I cared about. It was all the emotion. Seifer has had issues expressing his emotions fully to Squall, and I think physically he knew he could do so, by showing tenderness, respect, and love, all the things, sexual intercourse is supposed really be about. And you pulled that revelation off beautifully with Seifer. For once, this was a chapter mostly for Seifer's development and big "revel." He's had sex more times then he can count, but he never realized what he could really do with it, until he made love to Squall. He found out be can show his rawest emotions to Squall, emotions that Squall can not misinterpret, hide from, nor dull out. I felt the selfish side of Seifer finally came to an end. It's been ending for awhile, but now it feels like its been snuffed out in concerning Squall, and that Seifer is in with Squall for the long run, through thick and thin. And, Squall seemed to finally figure that out too, trusting someone to share his pain, and be there for him even at his worst. The change in Squall's feeling about his body and sexuality was tear-jerking too. I felt with him. I felt him doubt again in the middle of the act, and then I felt him come to the ultimate conclusion that there was nothing wrong with what he was doing and feeling with Seifer, and finally that he didn't have to be scared of memories assaulting him during the act with Seifer, because he felt safe and loved while doing it.
But, their first time together was just a way for them to realize they are indeed in love and can count on each other. In Squall's own words "I'm no longer alone." I did not interpret that as Sex With Seifer=Alternative to Cutting Myself. Because at the end of the day, after being raped, you are not going to go running to have sex with some one else no matter how much you love and trust them. Squall does know now that he has Seifer's love and support though. He know's Seifer isn't just about getting in his pants. He never truly knew that before. All of this new trust I imagine will give Squall the openness with Seifer he needs to finally show enough raw pain where Seifer can finally put two and two together. And that's when shit will go down, no matter who finds out first, Seifer will find out soon after anyway.
I have no criticism for you, constructive or otherwise. :) You have done an amazing job and you keep doing an amazing job. I am going to be a very, selfish person, and request one thing; if it is in your realm of possibility, as far as time and energy is concerned: Please, detail Squall's full recovery. I have NEVER read a book, fanfiction, anything, that goes over the complete (well as complete as it gets. the memories and pain never go away 100%) recovery of a sexual abusive victim. I know you will never pull "healing cock." But a little part of me fears that you will in leave it on a happy note for Squall and Seifer's future, but won't go into the emotional healing and other changes that will naturally take place within Squall, in and out (mostly out, because I'm not the type, nor do I think many who read WS care for PWP) of the bedroom. I would love to see Seifer find out that he's not ALWAYS going to be running the show, once Squall has some confidence and builds a healthy sex drive. (omg Squall topping. Talk about Seifer trusting time. Heh.) You probably already have all that covered, and I'm just making a fool out of myself. XD *done fangirling*
Thank you so, so much. I'm very patient, so be sure to take care of yourself first and foremost before working on this on-going gift to SxS fans. ^.^
Wow, I have owed you review for the longest time. I guess I didn't because once Laguna was introduced, I was honestly afraid he was going to take over too much of the story and steal Seifer's moments. I should have known better then to fear that with you. I know now that you are setting things up so Squall has a support system, of not only a boyfriend like Seifer, friends like Sephie, family in Raine and Ellone, but now the a father figure that the lack of was the second biggest trauma is Squall's life, aside from, well, Kato's raping addiction.
Sorry if it seems like, okay well, I am doing a mini psychoanalysis of your story. XD I do it with everything well written and plotted out I read. Yeah, so that was what as kept me from reviewing the past five or so chapters chapters. I didn't know if I was liking where it was going, and I didn't feel right asking or saying how I wanted to go. It sure as hell was not my place to do so. I'm sorry for ever doubting you, because wow, you have come through. I can see now how each one of those chapters was full of critical moments of development that not only lead up to chapter 38 but will very likely have a large impact on when and how the whole Kato problem is solved. When I think about Kato, i realize it is a very complicated situation and a complicated character to deal with. You can't just deal with a man of power by having Seifer punch him and make it all better (LOL @ at the thought!). He may be an abuser and rapist to Squall, but he's also the a father to Ellone, how good of one, we don't know yet, but he must be fatherly enough to her to not tip Raine off. And then there is the fact that he has been Raine's husband for years and managed to fool an otherwise, intelligent, strong-willed woman. The vibe that I get is that there are two sides to Kato. The complete monster we have mostly been seeing through Squall's memories and view, and the other side, how he acts while not around Squall, with family, at work, and whatever feelings he also hides behind layers and layers of protection, because if he feels guilty it can be the end of him (in some ways Squall and Kato are alike. It's scary, but true IMO) etc and his sick addiction. I'm not saying I sympathize with Kato. But I do find him highly interesting, and out of all the original characters I've come across in fanfiction for the last 15 or so years, he is the one I'd like to see developed out the most. I will go on to admit I'm a fan of him, as weird as that sounds. I enjoy the psychology of individuals who give in to a taboo, twisted, and wrong desire like he has and let it consume their lives (I'm only fans of the fictional ones, mind you ^.^;). I wonder to myself, what was the tipping point? How did he feel about his victim before hand? Does he really "hate" his victim now, or are his feeling a lot more complicated and twisted then that? Deep down is there some remorse? Some acknowledgement that he failed as a father, as a person, by giving in after Ellone's accident?
The few chapters where Kato's thoughts and feelings were told by him, as opposed to being reflected by someone else (ie Squall) were very interesting moments. The Kato before the marriage had a dark secret, but pretty much stated he had no intention of giving in too it, And he seemed like he was going to be a father to Squall. Then there was the Kato after the accident, who expresses worry over his daughter and family, but after weeks of being alone with Squall, makes the decision he can't come back from and seals his fate. If I recall, several chapters and years, story-wise, later (the rape chapter) Kato is completely consumed by his addiction and his desire for Squall. He is putting all his attention to keeping Squall just scared enough to keep for telling anyone, but not too lost to just break the fuck down. He's consumed with getting his high and then going through the motions of covering it all up, making sure his house of cards does not fall apart.
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FINALLY, I can get on to chapter 38. XD Well, you wrote a good lemon, but the sex was not what I cared about. It was all the emotion. Seifer has had issues expressing his emotions fully to Squall, and I think physically he knew he could do so, by showing tenderness, respect, and love, all the things, sexual intercourse is supposed really be about. And you pulled that revelation off beautifully with Seifer. For once, this was a chapter mostly for Seifer's development and big "revel." He's had sex more times then he can count, but he never realized what he could really do with it, until he made love to Squall. He found out be can show his rawest emotions to Squall, emotions that Squall can not misinterpret, hide from, nor dull out. I felt the selfish side of Seifer finally came to an end. It's been ending for awhile, but now it feels like its been snuffed out in concerning Squall, and that Seifer is in with Squall for the long run, through thick and thin. And, Squall seemed to finally figure that out too, trusting someone to share his pain, and be there for him even at his worst. The change in Squall's feeling about his body and sexuality was tear-jerking too. I felt with him. I felt him doubt again in the middle of the act, and then I felt him come to the ultimate conclusion that there was nothing wrong with what he was doing and feeling with Seifer, and finally that he didn't have to be scared of memories assaulting him during the act with Seifer, because he felt safe and loved while doing it.
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I have no criticism for you, constructive or otherwise. :) You have done an amazing job and you keep doing an amazing job. I am going to be a very, selfish person, and request one thing; if it is in your realm of possibility, as far as time and energy is concerned: Please, detail Squall's full recovery. I have NEVER read a book, fanfiction, anything, that goes over the complete (well as complete as it gets. the memories and pain never go away 100%) recovery of a sexual abusive victim. I know you will never pull "healing cock." But a little part of me fears that you will in leave it on a happy note for Squall and Seifer's future, but won't go into the emotional healing and other changes that will naturally take place within Squall, in and out (mostly out, because I'm not the type, nor do I think many who read WS care for PWP) of the bedroom. I would love to see Seifer find out that he's not ALWAYS going to be running the show, once Squall has some confidence and builds a healthy sex drive. (omg Squall topping. Talk about Seifer trusting time. Heh.) You probably already have all that covered, and I'm just making a fool out of myself. XD *done fangirling*
Thank you so, so much. I'm very patient, so be sure to take care of yourself first and foremost before working on this on-going gift to SxS fans. ^.^
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