show me the money...
i've got no money for this and that. and today i missed stuffing dental dams and condoms into packets and i missed jackie's smile. i watched the way my experience is the supposed inverse of the last, but it's not even as the last time i worked for a non profit i stuffed packs for sex workers of bleach and dental dams and condoms with leaflets of hope offering help and free classes and housing. and now i pack condoms into packets for gay men cruising with pornographic pictures instead of leaflets. it isn't that i don't see the value, it just seems more removed than the last. it just feels like it isn't in my reality, even though it is
and i thought about how there doesn't have to be a last time, even though i'm faced with a bill and no money from college and i got scared for a minute that i wouldn't see jackie's smile again. that i would only go back to school to go back for a moment, to gather my belongings from the attic.
this day next week my internship will be over, the days flew by and weeks turned into months and i've been here awhile. i like run on sentences and the beach. yesterday i sat on the beach for hours, just steps away from the t. it was a muscle beach and thongs surrounded me and the men in business suits. cars zoomed by almost louder than the waves against the shore. when the tide went out i thought i lost my marbles. that space had morphed into something else and something else again
i woke up today and felt a surge of fear. my eyes were foggy and someone i might very well love loves someone else. someone ate all my eggs and most of my yogurt. it all evens out in the end.
and i thought about how there doesn't have to be a last time, even though i'm faced with a bill and no money from college and i got scared for a minute that i wouldn't see jackie's smile again. that i would only go back to school to go back for a moment, to gather my belongings from the attic.
this day next week my internship will be over, the days flew by and weeks turned into months and i've been here awhile. i like run on sentences and the beach. yesterday i sat on the beach for hours, just steps away from the t. it was a muscle beach and thongs surrounded me and the men in business suits. cars zoomed by almost louder than the waves against the shore. when the tide went out i thought i lost my marbles. that space had morphed into something else and something else again
i woke up today and felt a surge of fear. my eyes were foggy and someone i might very well love loves someone else. someone ate all my eggs and most of my yogurt. it all evens out in the end.