Back at home...
The dogs seemed to have gotten into some trouble while their keeper was gone. Natasha ate Chico's sedatives we give him when loud storms are present, and I think she was pretty much stoned for a good 24 period, while Chico ran into some trouble and got a little beat up. We suspect it was due to his unrelenting quest to rule over the yard, and devour any unwanted guests. He probably chased down a squirrel and ran straight into a tree. He has a little gash above his eye, and the front of his muzzle is rubbed raw.
When I finally sat down this afternoon, I realized just how quiet my house is.
I am certainly one for a thoughtful bout of silence, but I think I realize how wonderful a lively home is.
I really hope that these people who invited me into their world this weekend, knows how much I appreciated the ability to meet them finally. Not only that, but the respect, love, generosity, playfulness and honesty they poured onto me is something I will carry with me always.
Shea has been such a dear friend to me for so long, and while each and every one of them has found a special place in my heart, I cannot begin to express the amount of gratitude I have in my heart for them to give me this. Sure, I wonder about the thoughts on her end, but that's something that's going to have to be discovered with time.
Shea: Your letter pretty much speaks for itself. If I could add anything, I would simply say the fact that you and I could finally look one another in the eye, and that I can hear your voice was absolutely incredible. Honestly, I had to force myself to, just because I was so damn happy. While I think you're even more awesome in person, I want you to know that aside from my admiration, being able to see you as a cool, shy, and silly girl really grounded me. It's one thing to look up to a person, and sometimes contain overwhelming feelings for them, but it's another to be able to relate to them, and share a part of yourself with them. Thank you for reaching out to me, and listening to what I had to say as an equal.
To Buns, Mistress of the home: I think my eyes are finally open to the respect your friends give you so willingly. Not only to you find the time to show your comrades your love and affection, sometimes while putting yourself out, your life experience is really a priceless treasure to these people, and now myself. You were right to say that age is really a moot point when it comes to a person's caliber, but you've really shown me proof. Thank you for being blunt, but showing me so much love and support.
To Aaron, Host, and Brother: While I may not consider myself a man afraid of affection, even to another man, I hope that you did not feel I was put off by any of the ways you had try to impress your silliness and care. There is something to be said about the phrase, "I tease because I care", but I think you've helped me come out of my element a little. I may be one for spooning, but Brotherly love is something I will always embrace. I've heard that some people find you to be a push over, but I know from first hand experience that it takes so much strength to wield a gentle, and kind heart. Thank you for being steadfast in your beliefs, and inspiring me to be a better man.
To Claire: First and foremost, I hope I did not tease you too much. You're a really fun gal, and sometimes I get caught up in just trying to be sociable that sometimes I realize I'm in the middle of playing too rough. I'm sorry if I had maybe gone too far, and perhaps sacrificed my more genteel nature for something more open and silly. You're an amazing, sunny person, and I suppose I just wanted to create a bond, and I feel a little bad for being too rough. I feel I had made the same mistake with Shea as well. I'm such a playful prankster, and a little on the sneaky side, but sometimes I worry about if I lose myself in it, and people miss something. Regardless of this, thank you for being a good sport and playing back. Thank you for letting me be your friend, and supporting me by sacrificing time you would spend with Shea, so I could experience that on my own.
To Sayu: My lovely jokester, and buddy. I had already thanked you on your journal, but again, thank you for filling my weekend with music of the heart. It's so amazing that you can make a whole house laugh, but the conversations shared with you on love, politics and life is equally precious. A bad-ass none the less, and someone I'm proud to know as my friend.
To Kira: Despite the fact you and I didn't get to speak as much as I would like to, thank you for being a sweet gal, and for letting me share your space this weekend. I hope our paths cross soon.
Now that I am home, I will prepare for the next occasion that I will bump into one, if not more of you, and I hope that you all know that a special place has been permanent residence has been furnished in my heart for each and every one of you.
Adios.