(no subject)
Lila: But there's no way that I could know what you've experienced, right? I couldn't possibly fill that need. Like a thousand hiding voices whispering "this is who you are". And you fight the pressure. The growing need rising like a wave. Prickling and teasing and prodding to be fed. But the whispering gets louder, until they're screaming "now!" And it's the only voice you hear. The only voice you want to hear. And you belong to it. To this... shadow self.
The quote is from the Showtime show "Dexter", which is excellent over-all, but this quote struck me. It was another of those, tail-wagging that takes over your whole body, "Oh my goodness! Someone else KNOWS!" Granted, they're talking about psychosis and drug-addiction, but hey, crazy is crazy.
I'm not exactly sure where along the line I became persona non-grata. To be fair, I have been outside a world which re-invents itself every few months. Changing not just scene, but look and characters from one weekend to the next, always pressing forward, and never, EVER looking back. They assume they are the first, they are breaking new ground, they are the revolutionaries. It was one of my favorite songs, back then too. My isolation has afforded me some perspective.
The truth is, this world isn't new. The individuals introduced are unique, but that gets glossed over as it becomes imperative that everyone be "special". What a shame.
To some it may appear that I sacrificed my special, or deny it. I'm sorry that those so consumed will miss what makes me unique. Chaos isn't my nature, change is. A constant pursuit to move, to do something, an inability to accept mediocrity. I made horrific mistakes, but I can't say that I regret them. It's painful to admit, but I did what I thought was the best at the time. It is frightening to recognize that, but at the very least, it taught me to take some time, and consider the waves throwing this rock will cause. I still move just to move sometimes though.
It's funny, those I would most understand for needing to deny me...are the very ones who delightfully come out and play. I try not to let my excitement get away from me. Usually fail, but I do try.
Sometimes I get frustrated, and just want to stay under my rock. oops, muse danced away, I got distracted.
Some things change, but some don't.
The quote is from the Showtime show "Dexter", which is excellent over-all, but this quote struck me. It was another of those, tail-wagging that takes over your whole body, "Oh my goodness! Someone else KNOWS!" Granted, they're talking about psychosis and drug-addiction, but hey, crazy is crazy.
I'm not exactly sure where along the line I became persona non-grata. To be fair, I have been outside a world which re-invents itself every few months. Changing not just scene, but look and characters from one weekend to the next, always pressing forward, and never, EVER looking back. They assume they are the first, they are breaking new ground, they are the revolutionaries. It was one of my favorite songs, back then too. My isolation has afforded me some perspective.
The truth is, this world isn't new. The individuals introduced are unique, but that gets glossed over as it becomes imperative that everyone be "special". What a shame.
To some it may appear that I sacrificed my special, or deny it. I'm sorry that those so consumed will miss what makes me unique. Chaos isn't my nature, change is. A constant pursuit to move, to do something, an inability to accept mediocrity. I made horrific mistakes, but I can't say that I regret them. It's painful to admit, but I did what I thought was the best at the time. It is frightening to recognize that, but at the very least, it taught me to take some time, and consider the waves throwing this rock will cause. I still move just to move sometimes though.
It's funny, those I would most understand for needing to deny me...are the very ones who delightfully come out and play. I try not to let my excitement get away from me. Usually fail, but I do try.
Sometimes I get frustrated, and just want to stay under my rock. oops, muse danced away, I got distracted.
Some things change, but some don't.