(no subject)
my friend josh committed suicide a couple days ago. all the details haven't been given to me, but from what i know so far, he tried ODing on pills about a month ago, was found, taken to ICU and then moved back here to florida (he had been living in california). then, the other night, tried again and was successful. i'm really not dealing with it well. in fact, i almost feel like i'm not dealing with it at all. it's kind of surreal. i can speak so matter of factly about it with my friends. i hate that feeling. i'm hoping to receive word soon about a funeral or memorial. maybe then it will become real for me.
this is causing me to reflect on my friendships in general. it feels like my friends and i have reached an age where we're all separated and busy with our own lives. this doesn't mean we love anyone any less. it's just unfortunate that sometimes we're abruptly reminded that we may never have the chance to tell someone you're glad to have them as a friend again. i think what bothers me the most is that perhaps i'm coming to the age where the only time i get together with my friends is for funerals and i don't want it to be that way, but life seems to just be working that way for now.
i do love my friends. if you're one of them, i hope you know that.
i don't know what else to say.
this is causing me to reflect on my friendships in general. it feels like my friends and i have reached an age where we're all separated and busy with our own lives. this doesn't mean we love anyone any less. it's just unfortunate that sometimes we're abruptly reminded that we may never have the chance to tell someone you're glad to have them as a friend again. i think what bothers me the most is that perhaps i'm coming to the age where the only time i get together with my friends is for funerals and i don't want it to be that way, but life seems to just be working that way for now.
i do love my friends. if you're one of them, i hope you know that.
i don't know what else to say.