wherein i live, again

[redream]

last night i made out with an australian lawyer-turned-chef (yes, really. lawyer decides to go to culinary school) after a discussion on how truly horrible practicing family law can make you feel. then i met a lady from the internet, failed to make contact with everyotherword, and got neutral milk hotel lyrics inscribed on my palms. i don't remember the last time i made out with anybody and didn't feel guilty about it, and this makes me wonder exactly what the fuck i've been doing, moping and being depressed for the last TEN MONTHS just because a therapist dumped me for a rich man. it feels like i've been in a chrysalis for all this time. a year ago i was thinking of marrying amanda, and now i'm fine with not necessarily finding my soul mate. we're all desperately lonely in this world, anyway. i'm just happy i'm not desperately depressed about it, as well. [any more. of course, that doesn't mean i want to be lonely all the time]

summer session two is coming up and in the mean time we're remodeling the apartment. i wonder how productive i can be in between.

shit, i need a real job.