Dec 31, 2007 15:14
It doesn't matter what I do or don't do. It doesn't matter what I've done, good or bad. I am a bad person. I make someone feel bad with everything I do. I am a terrible horrible person who only brings misery to the people that care about him. Resentment. Thats all I'm worth in the end. Every single goddamned time. Forget it then. I'm done. No more posting, no more internet, no more nothing. I wanted to just get through this ONE FUCKING DAY and she wouldn't even let me have that, she had to have the last fucking word and I'm sick and tired of being the bad guy when 99% of the time I GO OUT OF MY WAY TO PROTECT HER FROM MYSELF and the ONE SINGLE FUCKING TIME I let myself get a little sad, a little vindictive, a LITTLE pathetic, she shuns me for it, calls me something to be resented, and tells me in that oh-so-female-empowered bullshit way that we can never talk again, because you fucking women have ALL the power in these situations.
If we leave you, you know you've always got the "wait I'm pregnant clause" so yeah, hurray, YOU HAVE DA POWA.
If we leave, we're monster's we're jerks, you get to try and kill us.
You leave? You leave? We have to be tough about it, we have to be big and strong and manly and masculine and uncaring and unsensitive an sometimes even downright cruel because any sign of weakness any sign of patheticness or caring or love will guarantee you will not come back.
So thanks, world, for making me feel like a fucking monster just for caring about someone. I don't want this life anymore. You can take it and fuck it repeatedly like you always have.
I'm done.
pain,
lisa,
bullshit