short story

[redprisma]

ok don't know where this came from. I just started writing. Ending is a bit depressing I have to warn you, but I thought it was good writing.

Comments

constructive criticism

[cotylewis]

Very detailed, and complex, but the two sentence ending... i think it's too short and simple. Not exactly what i'd expect to come from you, but I like it.

Re: constructive criticism

[redprisma]

thanks for the advice. I made it simple on purpose. I was thinking of doing something longer but I wanted to make it simple. No one was there, so he chose to die. That's all it was.

Thanks for reading! :)

Re: constructive criticism

[cotylewis]

you're welcome! you know i've always enjoyed reading your writings... have you ever thought of submitting them to a publishing company? Maybe you could get them in a book of collected short stories. well talk to you later.