(no subject)

[redpicklesbitch]

i'm stuck.i no longer know how to handle anything.
my emotions are all over the place.
i have pt up a wall and it seems i can't/won't let anyone in.
i don't know what to believe anymore.
i don't know what is going on.
everything is so hard.
why can't things chill out and be simple, if only for a little while?
it sucks to know i have no control over the things that have happened,are happening,or will happen.
i need structure.
i need simplicity.
i need to understand.
i need to know why...?
i need this all to stop...
i'm hurt.
i'm damaged.
im confused.
i'm tortured.
hurthurthurthurthurthurt...
did i do something to deserve this?
& if so, what was it?

I'm an idiot
and this time i've lost count...