Update
I always thought about "these days" when I was younger. When I would have friends with so much potential, we'd rule the night and work all day plotting the unity of our comrades and the end of injustices. It would be a screen for all the sadness I had; the energy transformed into creation and all that good creativity I felt I lacked. Now here I am, days filled with plotting and planning and hugging and cursing. I have a foundation to build on, friendships to nurture, and more than a few life lessons I still need to remember. And the sadness is gone, like an old friend you remember as.. important. I just mean I don't miss it but I'm glad I went through it.
Where I'm at now? Feeling stuck, I guess. I've seen everything I thought would inspire me- and it has- but the changes aren't on the grand scale I feel I need. The motion, my motion, is too slow. The people I meet are boring, which mean I'm boring. And I know it, this vicious circle of recognizing my inane judgement is caused by my own unmet needs. But where does that take me? I want to experience everything again- days today go by fast, more of the same. I feel little child-like amazement at the work. I am no longer impressed by new relationships and lips and stomping grounds.
How do I make everything familiar interesting again?
And I want to blame this stupid town but everyone does that. I just need to know where I can look.
Where I'm at now? Feeling stuck, I guess. I've seen everything I thought would inspire me- and it has- but the changes aren't on the grand scale I feel I need. The motion, my motion, is too slow. The people I meet are boring, which mean I'm boring. And I know it, this vicious circle of recognizing my inane judgement is caused by my own unmet needs. But where does that take me? I want to experience everything again- days today go by fast, more of the same. I feel little child-like amazement at the work. I am no longer impressed by new relationships and lips and stomping grounds.
How do I make everything familiar interesting again?
And I want to blame this stupid town but everyone does that. I just need to know where I can look.