( i'm not afraid anymore )
Confession : This might not surprise those you know me well enough. And i'm pretty sure most have had this thought. but more and more regularly my selfishness simple needs confirmation, of who will attend my funeral. Ever sense kindegarden I've always had this overwhelming sense of paranioa that's there a constant party going on behind my back. We've all been there.
Moreever these days I forever wonder who will be at my wedding. Who will tand next to me as my best man? (Michelle? - wouldn't that be a tad ackward?) Teddy's wedding was frightening to me. He was surrounded by people who he's known his whole life. Not just the past couple years, but lifelong friendships. Don't misunderstand, I love all my friends.
I just wish someone knew before I moved to bellingham. Who knew my trials. I've disconnected myself from everyone I knew in high school - my closest contact to middle and elementary school - we hated each other throughout those years, and opnly became good friends in high school. It's a horrible habit I have of wanting to "test" friendships by pushing those I love as far away as possible, just to see if they'll return.
sick. i know.
It was my choose to move to bellingham. I moved here for all the wrong reasons. I know that now. However, if I hadn't Sarah wouldn't be a part of my life (and I'm thankful that she is...). As well as you dumb motherfuckers reading this.
Maybe I won't have a best man (or woman). Everyone I love can be the flower girl. Just flood the aisle with white and red rose petals. perfection.
Moreever these days I forever wonder who will be at my wedding. Who will tand next to me as my best man? (Michelle? - wouldn't that be a tad ackward?) Teddy's wedding was frightening to me. He was surrounded by people who he's known his whole life. Not just the past couple years, but lifelong friendships. Don't misunderstand, I love all my friends.
I just wish someone knew before I moved to bellingham. Who knew my trials. I've disconnected myself from everyone I knew in high school - my closest contact to middle and elementary school - we hated each other throughout those years, and opnly became good friends in high school. It's a horrible habit I have of wanting to "test" friendships by pushing those I love as far away as possible, just to see if they'll return.
sick. i know.
It was my choose to move to bellingham. I moved here for all the wrong reasons. I know that now. However, if I hadn't Sarah wouldn't be a part of my life (and I'm thankful that she is...). As well as you dumb motherfuckers reading this.
Maybe I won't have a best man (or woman). Everyone I love can be the flower girl. Just flood the aisle with white and red rose petals. perfection.